Chapter Text
"How you been, man? I missed you."
"Good. Missed you too."
"Stevie?"
"Yeah, Buck?"
"I'm sorry." The words pierced Steve's heart through the phone. Silence invaded the moment until Steve sighed and gave up on the cold shoulder act, finding himself unable to stay mad at Bucky.
"What's knew with you?" He asked calmly, and Bucky leapt into a conversation about the old woman next door to him, and their psychotic landlord. Steve smiled sadly, and listened to each word like it were gospel, casually falling back into their routine. He occasionally added hums of agreement, allowing Bucky to vent and move onto the next crazy anecdote about the ghost Bucky was convinced that was stealing his mail.
They continued regular conversation and although Steve was certainly glad Bucky was back, he couldn't shake the pit growing in his stomach. He wanted to confront Bucky, he had to know what happened. But he couldn't. He just got Bucky back, he couldn't scare him away again.
---
Steve was sat on his couch, hunched over his laptop, with the TV switched on unnecessarily playing Star Trek for the hundredth time. He slowly sipped his lukewarm coffee, scrolling through social media, pausing to watch the film if there was a particularly unrealistic scientific explanation he found amusing. Murmuring "ridiculous", he returned to his screen.
December was just around the corner, and Steve was dreading the festivities. "Winter edits" were starting to appear on his dashboards and timelines. Christmas just hadn't been fun since his mom had died. Steve could remember one year, attempting to put the star on the tree, and not being able to reach, almost knocking the delicate ornaments off the spindly branches. Sarah stood him on a chair allowing him the height he needed. He smirked fondly and wondered what she'd make of the fact that Steve would still need a stool even in his early twenties.
Steve had told Bucky about his troubles growing up, his sickly physique, long-dead abusive father, and departed mother. Bucky was as supportive as ever, comforting Steve and building him back up on bad days. Steve considered the possibility of Bucky's disappearance. He shook the thoughts out of his head and refreshed each tab open on the computer, searching for a distraction from the numbness he felt inside.