Chapter Text
When Crowley walked into the bookshop Aziraphale was already pouring wine into two glasses. Crowley took a seat on the sofa while Aziraphale brought the glasses over. Once he had handed Crowley his glass Aziraphale grabbed a pillow from the other side of the sofa.
Crowley instinctively lifted his leg up and Aziraphale slid the pillow under his knee. Before Crowley could say anything, Aziraphale grabbed another pillow and took his seat on the arm chair, putting the pillow behind his back as he did. Crowley could feel the distant pain in his back go away a bit.
"You're one step ahead of me." Crowley commented as he took a sip of his wine.
"You're predictable." Aziraphale shrugged. He adjusted himself in the chair and turned to look at Crowley. "What was it you wanted to talk about?" He asked.
"I just- ngk- okay I want to talk about this and I'm not actually entirely sure how I want to do this, but still we need to talk about it." Crowley tried to explain. Aziraphale just looked at him with kindness and waited for Crowley to explain. "I know it's going to go against what I've said for years."
"Crowley." Aziraphale said, cutting Crowley off. "We both know what you're going to say."
"Right but Aziraphale-" Crowley started again. Aziraphale could feel distantly how quickly Crowley's heart was beating, so he cut him off.
"Do you remember back in 1872, when we were walking out of the graveyard?" Aziraphale asked, and Crowley paused. He was confused, but he nodded anyway, so Aziraphale continued. "You got snatched down to Hell, and I didn't see you for years afterwards."
"Right, I slept for a year and then you got busy with assignments." Crowley recalled.
"I wasn't busy with assignments, Crowley. That was when I put everything together. After you got dragged back down, I felt everything you did." Aziraphale said and Crowley's face fell, out of shock or realization, Aziraphale couldn't tell.
"Angel." Crowley said softly but Aziraphale shook his head.
"I'm quite alright dear boy. The point I am making here is, I already know." Aziraphale said softly and Crowley nodded.
"Alright." Crowley said shortly. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I think I just need to say it."
"Go right ahead then dear." Aziraphale encouraged.
"You're my soulmate, I'm your soulmate, we're soulmates." Crowley said quickly. Aziraphale gave a small nod.
"Right we are." Aziraphale agreed before he took a sip of his own drink. Crowley followed suit but ended up finishing off his whole glass. Aziraphale grabbed the bottle and refilled Crowley's glass for him.
"Do you have anything else to say about it, other than just blind agreement?" Crowley asked after a moment of mostly silence.
"Well I tried to tell you this years ago, so I believe that you already know that I knew." Aziraphale reminded him, to which Crowley just gave a short sigh.
Aziraphale for a moment just sat there and sipped his drink. It hadn't fully hit him or Crowley yet that they finally both knew and were open about being soulmates. And Aziraphale was fine living in a world of bliss for just one more moment.
Crowley took off his sunglasses and set them on the side table. After taking a sip of his drink once more he spoke.
“I’m sorry.” Crowley said shortly.
“For what?” Aziraphale asked, confused as to why Crowley was apologizing.
“For not being the soulmate you wanted, or maybe just for being your soulmate in general.” Crowley said in a soft and low tone. He was staring down at his glass in his hands, like he was afraid to look Aziraphale in the eyes.
“Why do you think that you’re not the soulmate I would have wanted?” Aziraphale asked, even though he had convinced himself of the answer for years now.
“Because what you said all those years ago in the bar.” Crowley admitted, and for a moment Aziraphale wasn't sure what he was talking about.
“What did I say?” Aziraphale asked for clarification. Crowley cleared his throat a bit and Aziraphale could see that Crowley's eyes held a few unshed tears, but Crowley still didn't look at him.
“That you would rather not have a soulmate than have a demon as one” Crowley reminded him and Aziraphale felt his heart skip a few beats. Crowley glanced up at Aziraphale for a second when he felt the same feeling distantly in his own heart.
“You didn’t read my letters did you?” Aziraphale asked.
“What?” Crowley asked back, confused.
“The letters I sent you, all the ones before we met up at Shakespeare play? Before I went to Scotland.” Aziraphale reminded him but Crowley just shook his head.
“No. Why?” He asked, finally looking up at Aziraphale again. The tears had mostly disappeared now, but Crowley's eyes still looked glossed over.
“Because I explained that I didn’t mean what I said, I wasn’t thinking and the alcohol wasn’t helping that either.” Aziraphale said and Crowley's face softened a bit.
“Oh no, I didn’t read them.” Crowley admitted.
“Well I wrote to you because I thought you hated me for saying that. I thought you didn’t want to hear from me again.” Aziraphale said as he looked down at his own glass for a moment.
“No. I was too sad to read them.” Crowley said and Aziraphale noticed Crowley fidgeting with his own hands for a moment.
“Why were you so sad?” Aziraphale wondered. Crowley gave a half shrug as a response but then spoke anyway.
“Because I had found out by that point we were soulmates, and I felt horrible for it.” Crowley said honestly.
“So you knew? When I said that in the bar you knew we were soulmates?” Aziraphale wondered.
“Yeah?” Crowley said with another shrug.
“Why didn’t you tell me? That must have been so awful to hear I’m so sorry.” Aziraphale apologized but Crowley just shook his head.
“It’s fine. I was going to try and bring up the idea at the time, but you said what you said and I assumed that you wouldn’t want to know after all.” Crowley sighed.
“I wish I had known sooner Crowley." Aziraphale said and for a moment they met eyes and just looked at each.
"When did you realize?" Crowley asked and Aziraphale gave a short chuckle.
"I had my suspicions after you were able to recognize where I was when I was captured in Paris back in 1793, but I truly knew after the graveyard. What about you?" Aziraphale asked and Crowley thought for a moment.
"Back when we got drinks together in 41 AD. I had smashed my head into the ground and went to find you, and you said you had passed out or something. Before that I had my own suspicions." Crowley recalled and Aziraphale thought for a moment.
"I had gotten back to the room after being sick, and you were gone." Aziraphale remembered.
"Because I had been sick too. In the start I couldn't really control the feeling sick part, so whenever you got sick so did I." Crowley said with a smile.
"Oh that must have been awful. I do get rather nauseous when anxious." Aziraphale, truly hoping he wasn't a bother to Crowley.
"Oh it's probably nothing compared to what you've had to feel whenever I go down to Hell." Crowley dismissed. Aziraphale bit his lip for a second and Crowley looked over at him again.
"What's up?" Crowley asked and Aziraphale sighed.
“I am still a little bit upset with myself." He admitted.
“Why’s that?” Crowley wondered.
“Because I feel like I’ve wasted so much time” Aziraphale said honestly.
“Whadda mean?” Crowley was confused, they had spent thousands of years together, whether they knew they were soulmates or not it didn't seem like a waste to Crowley.
“I mean, there’s been so many times that you’ve been in pain that I felt, so many times that I could have helped you or done something, or even just canceled plans because I could feel how much pain you were in." Aziraphale explained but Crowley shook his head.
“So? That doesn’t matter, not to me." Crowley said.
“Well it matters to me." Aziraphale half retorted, and Crowley sighed.
“Angel, I don’t care if you think you’ve wasted so much time because you didn’t help me. You could have been there the whole time and it wouldn't have changed a thing. It doesn’t matter now. What matters is we have all the time in the world now.” Crowley reassured him.
“Well I’m going to spend all of it making it up to you.” Aziraphale said softly. He reached over gently and put his hand on top of Crowley's. Crowley looked down at their hands and then back up to Aziraphale.
Crowley turned his hand over and grabbed Aziraphale's. He held their hands tightly together and gave Aziraphale a smile.
"That sounds wonderful." Crowley smiled back.
And it was wonderful.