Chapter Text
Sometimes I wonder where you are right now. Or if that question seems a little silly, then at least, how you are right now.
It has been years. Truly laborious years, at that. Well, in short, you guys did it. The rule of titans is no more. Well, maybe it wouldn’t have sounded as good to you as it would have been to us. The titan shifters have lost their abilities, all that's left of them are level-headed intellectuals. Perhaps grant some a feist more than others.
The centuries of war between the likes of us and the likes of you had been pretty much finished, albeit an occasional cold shoulder or rude stares given from some of the elderly folks to each other. Eldia opened their borders to the world, and they are flourishing and learning more than ever, worry not. Despite the lengthy conflict between us coming to a conclusion, I can’t say the same for some of the other countries. War and infightings still run rampant, disastrous as ever. It's none of you guys’ fault, for sure. I can't think of anything that you guys could do to solve a problem of such gargantuan order. I couldn’t help but think that it's indeed ingrained in our human nature to engage in catfights with one another. I’m unaware of any other species capable of handling such hatred and carrying them for generations and generations to come, like some sort of laughable family heirloom.
Famine and disasters come and go, although luckily, neither of our countries have been that much affected. In fact, Eldia has been doing pretty well in whittling the effects of its famine, I think Historia’s doing a job well done.
I know a few of your friends had decided to go back to Eldia after a prolonged stay in Marley. Armin, Jean and Connie, I think. Along with some of ours too, Leonhart, Braun and Pieck. They’re going to change the world, they say, starting right from the history books. I doubt if the people there would accept them with open arms, considering the fair number of Jaegerists still running amok there. Yet, I can only hope for the best.
Oh, perhaps you’ve gotten tired of my droning. I apologise, it's just that I feel that it's been such a long time since we last chatted. Remember those little back and forth banter we’d share back in the days? I miss that, your energy and amicability, I think that it's a much needed change of pace for a grey world like this. I try to remember most of my time with you, you were one of the few people i’ve ever met that had been truly nice to me, I really hope that you’re in a better place.
Ah, I bet that right now there’s nothing itching you more than that of news pertaining to him, so allow me tell you all that you want to hear.
You know, when I tell you that I reminisce about the times we shared often, to him, it would probably be an understatement. I feel like you’re the only thing on his mind, every day and night, there’s not a moment that he doesn’t try to find you.
He’s been staying with me in my hometown just neighbouring Marley ever since Armin and the rest went back to Eldia. Gabi and Falco visit him rather often, they like to bring him out for market or garden visits as and when they can. Ever since Eren’s defeat, he seemed to have lost a burst of vitality. I think it has something to do with him having lost his Ackerman powers or so, but I can't be too sure about that. Anyway, he is wheelchair bound now, that’s why Gabi and Falco insist that they have some sort of responsibility over him, but I guess that’s a good thing, both for them and for him. He seems to somewhat enjoy their presence, even though he doesn’t show it much. At least they make this small shack more lively and warm.
When asked about going back to Eldia, all he does is give me a grim shake of his head. It’s his only response ever since I started asking. He’s extremely adamant about staying here, I can only guess that something about the leftover Jaegerists prowling the land of Eldia being a concept that doesn’t really tickle his fancy. So, he’s been helping me out, pro bono. He’ll most likely be staying here with us for the long run.
I must say that in this period of time that we lived with each other, —correct me if I'm mistaken, after all, you knew him the best— He appeared to me as a very, very sentimental man. A harsh contrast pertaining to his rugged looks, don’t you think? I sure wonder what goes through his mind all this time. It definitely hadn’t been easy for him. I remember seeing him the moment after the battle was over. What should have been an air of opaque triumph had been fairly executed with a calamitous mournfulness. It was as if he had withheld from mourning for so long that immediately after Eren had died, he broke down almost instantaneously. He misses you, without an air of doubt for this I can say that he really misses you. He doesn’t say it or nothin’ but it really shows.
He seems to have likened a quality of you to the environment around him, on those breezy autumn days, he’d sit at the balcony and watch the shower of those shimmering bronze leaves that shook in the wind. Sometimes he’d stretch out his arms and hands wide by his side, as if soaking it all in. He looked powerful to me. I felt as though his glory had been far from lost despite his current frail demeanour. When it rains, he would go to the windows and listen for the silent patter of the raindrops on the window stills. He would be so quiet, so deep in concentration that the house would seem lacking of life. It was as if he was looking for something, some tranquil quality in the rain, like he had been searching for something lost for so long, hence this supernatural fixation. He likes to look at the stars, although they never did shine as bright as they did back in those deep Eldian nights. But he says that it’s enough for him. He also has this odd preference of using fire for lumination. Despite the most decorative of lamps my household has to offer at his disposal, he says he’d rather use candles. Perhaps he’s just comfortable with it, since it was what he’s been using his entire life (at the expense of my flammable wooden walls and furniture).
When he’s outside, he indulges in the blue skies and the resplendent sun. His head will follow where flocks of birds fly, and his eyes lock onto the billowing clouds as they move by slowly.
He doesn’t tell me anything. But I guess you can say that I picked up subtle hints as I asked him along the way. I try not to pry often, but you can’t help but feel sorry for him.
You and him shared a secret of exorbitant quality. I probably wouldn’t have understood anything. But neither do I writhe nor do I show discernable scorn. I think what you guys share is a beautiful little thing.
As much as he wouldn’t admit it. He wants you by his side.
So do come visit if you can. In the form of an untainted touch or a winged telegram. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.