Chapter Text
“You’re kidding,” is the first thing out of my mouth that morning. I’m standing at the entrance of my new room, arms full of clothes the boys found for me. Sitting at the other cot in the room is Jongho, looking equally thrilled.
“It’s high time he gets a roommate,” Mingi says, moving past me to place blankets on my cot. The room itself is barely bigger than a closet, and it’s because of the small size that Jongho previously didn’t have to share.
“Of all people, why do I have to share with him ?” I hiss.
“Exactly,” Jongho says vehemently. “Can’t she bunk with one of you guys?”
The two of us stare pleadingly at Mingi, who is taken aback by our desperation. “At least you guys can agree on your mutual hatred of each other.”
We share heated looks before I start shoving stuff into the tiny chest by the cot. Mingi leaves to help Hongjoong check inventory, and Jongho just watches me organize my things. His stare sends shivers up my spine.
“Can I help you?” I finally ask heatedly. The small space is like a furnace, and I feel a layer of sweat forming.
“What?” He looks annoyed. I’ve never seen him look not annoyed.
“You’re just staring at me. It’s weird. If you’re going to just watch me, you can at least help,” I say slowly like he’s stupid. He blinks once, twice, then stands up and leaves the room. I think about throwing something at his retreating back, but he shuts the door behind him before I can.
“Goddamn pirates,” I mutter.
I put the rest of my things away, which just consists of my belongings that I ran away with that Yeosang finally returned to me. The purse was a couple of coins short, but considering my company I’m not very surprised.
I polish my mother’s rifle carefully, placing it atop my chest. Jongho, that rat, was right and I’ve been shooting a lot better with a gun that’s a bit smaller. Still, there’s no way I could ever give up my last connection to her. It’ll always be a reminder of what my father and the HYBE empire took from me.
Now, I’m free to embark on a new future, one where ATEEZ is by my side to support me.
Hongjoong is the first one to break out the drinks. We’re all gathered in the kitchen, crowding around plates of marinated beef and bottles of rum. After the run-in with Enhypen, everyone’s in the mood for celebrating. Though I’ve never really drank much before, I feel comfortable enough around ATEEZ to take generous sips.
Somehow we all end up on the deck, the colors of the sunset making the waves beneath us reflect orange and pink. While everyone else loudly tells stories and plays drinking games, Seonghwa and I find ourselves by the railing. We’re talking about Enhypen, and I’ve finally asked him about how they reached me in the first place.
“The whole thing was Jongho’s idea,” Seonghwa says. His cheeks are incredibly pink. “Like as soon as we woke up, he was pacing and scribbling in his notebook, muttering to himself. He was freaking everyone out, to be honest.”
I let out a laugh, unable to help myself. “Are you sure the yellow gas wasn’t making you hallucinate? Why would he care about rescuing me?”
“I don’t know.” He’s staring out at the ocean, eyes faraway. “Either way, I’m just glad we got you back.”
I lay my head against his shoulder. “Me too.”
The two of us stay like that for a while, watching darkness wash away remnants of the sun. The stars finally emerge, and San comes over to name constellations. Everything seems so dreamy in this dusk. A week ago, this would’ve been a dream, a fantasy for me to escape into. But now San is grinning down at me, dimples exclaiming his joy, and Seonghwa is watching him affectionately, tracing circles on my arm. I’m leaning on the railing of a ship that’s now partly mine . I found a new home with a new family.
We stay there for awhile, basking in the evening calm. Now that it’s getting darker, I start to shiver a bit from the chill in the air. “I’m going to grab a sweater,” I tell Seonghwa and San and laugh off their disappointed pouts.
I weave my way through the crowd of drunk guys to get to my room. It’s weird but nice to have a moment of quiet, but that peace is quickly interrupted by me noticing that I’m not alone. Sitting on his cot, back to the door, is Jongho. I didn’t even realize he was missing from the festivities.
I move past him, grabbing a jacket from my trunk. When I turn to leave, he’s staring at me, eyes wild and lips red. Jongho’s drunk , I realize with a ridiculous thrill. Of course he’d sequester himself the second alcohol touched his tongue; god forbid he lets down his guard for one night.
“Are you okay?” I try to ask him seriously, but I can’t help from smiling. He’s just so dramatic.
Jongho’s staring at my mouth. “Are you laughing at me?”
I shake my head, my smile unwavering.
“You’re so infuriating,” he huffs. “So annoying. I need to stop thinking about you. I think my intelligence is suffering because of you.”
“You think about me?” I’m half-teasing, half-surprised. I can’t tell how much of this rambling is actual truth.
“I can’t stop ,” he groans. He flops down on the bed. “It was bad enough when you were here, but then you left, and we had to get you back. It was so awful. Only a couple of hours, and it felt like I—we lost you for good. And it was different than when you were running away.”
“How was it different?” I ask breathlessly. I was expecting to catch Jongho acting stupid, not confessing whatever the hell he’s confessing. My mind is whirling. I almost want him to stop, but I need to hear what he’s actually trying to say.
He swallows. The lamplight makes his eyes look so bright. “I knew you wanted to be with us. And I wanted you to be too.”
I have to stop myself from running outside and calling everyone over to show that Jongho really does have feelings after all. “I did. I do.”
“It’s just…. god!” He throws a pillow over his face. I walk over to him and start wrestling it off.
“What’s going on? What’s your problem?” I grit out, finally tearing the pillow out of his grip.
He sits up, breathing heavily. We’re suddenly so close. His gaze is uncomfortably intense. “I’m the crew’s mastermind. It’s my job to see every possible scenario. I account for every feasible outcome. I never accounted for you.”
I stare at him. “So? I’m sorry that I wasn’t part of your master plan, but I’m here now and you can’t get rid of—“
“That’s the problem!” he bursts out. “You’re there, always there, in the back of my mind. You’re there at group meetings, at breakfast, in my dreams.” He stops himself suddenly; he’s sober enough to realize what he’s just said.
“I’m in your dreams?” I ask, trying to be playful, but it somehow comes out hopeful. The rum has gone to my head.
Jongho is looking at me like I’m a different person. Nothing about this situation seems real at all. “And then I wake up and you’re laying there a few feet away from me. It isn’t fair.” I want to open my mouth and interrupt but I can’t quite bring myself to. “You like everyone but me. You get along with the guy who broke your leg and your ex-fiancée who wanted to kill you, but you hate me. I’m the only one that you avoid, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about you all the time. It’s humiliating and annoying.”
“Jongho, what the hell do you want from me?”
“I want you to see me as something more than a nuisance.”
“Fine. Done. Just stop being weird,” I say, heart pounding. I don’t know what to make of this raw, undone Jongho.
“It’s not that simple,” he whines, grabbing my wrist. I look down at my arm then up at him. What the hell is going on? His big brown eyes stare into mine. “I don’t want to be your crewmate.”
“Okay,” I say slowly. “I thought you wanted me to like you?”
“I want to be your companion. I want to cross this distance between us. I want to stop thinking about you all the time and start actually talking. Instead of theorizing, I want to know all about you.”
“You’re drunk,” I tell him, “and you don’t mean any of this. If this is some kind of prank or test, I’m going to kill you.”
He lets go of my wrist, frowning. It’s almost cute. “No one ever believes me when I’m sincere. They think it’s just another manipulation, part of another scheme. It’s so exhausting. I’d rather not say anything at all anymore.”
I’m stunned into silence. Everything about this conversation feels so unreal, I feel like I’m going to wake up any second.
“Everyone has someone but me. Cap has Seonghwa, those five clowns all have each other. Who—who do I have?” His voice cracks, and my heart breaks a little.
I don’t know why, but I place a hand on his cheek. He goes perfectly still. “Me. You have me.”
He looks up at me, eyes overflowing with longing, and stands. My hand falls to my side. Jongho slowly reaches for me, and as I realize that he’s going to kiss me, panic begins to rise. This is all happening way too quickly—we’re both drunk and neither of us can think clearly.
“This is a mistake,” I whisper, but even as the words come out of my mouth I want to take them back. Mortified, Jongho takes a step back, running a hand through his dark hair. What the hell did I just do?
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, avoiding my gaze, “I never meant to—”
“No, I’m sorry!” I blurt and flee from the room. Tears fill my eyes and everything blurs in front of me. I don’t know where I can be safe from Jongho’s disappointment and my own stupidity on this ship, but I can’t stay there any longer. I need to—
My legs got caught on the railing, and because of the poor coordination the rum has granted me, I have no balance to save me from going overboard.
I hit the water hard, and all logic leaves me as I begin to flail wildly. Though I know how to swim, my several layers of clothes and heavy-duty boots are weighing me down, and the sensation of inhaling water is making things even worse. I’m sinking way faster than I should be. It’s been only seconds since I’ve plunged into the water, but the lack of oxygen is clouding my brain, making me feel sleepy. My eyes begin to close as I weakly hold a hand out towards the surface.
“Taking a love dive, are you?” A lush voice rings out through the abyss. I fling open my eyes to see a figure floating elegantly before me. Her hair is black and long going down her back. She’s wearing pearls and blue scales that sparkle, and it’s only when I look down that I realize she has a tail.
Mermaid, I think, wonderstruck.
She smiles like she can hear my thoughts. “My name is Wonyoung. And I know your romantic predicament, Y/N.”
I frown. “What predicament?”
Though we’re underwater, I can hear her voice clearly like it’s being amplified directly into my brain. Clearly some kind of magic is allowing me to breathe and talk underwater. “It’s getting hot in here,” she says, smiling widely. Given the topic of the conversation we’re having, I don’t appreciate the comment. “All matters of the heart require the utmost passion. It’s why I love to follow these human situations, they always have such drama.”
“Is this about Jongho?” I ask irritatedly. “How do you even know about that?”
“I have eyes and ears everywhere. And besides, we both know it’s not just Jongho that’s plaguing you.”
“Seonghwa and I are just friends,” I say immediately.
Her smile grows. “I never named names.”
“He’s always been so kind to me, even before the others accepted me. I know he feels the same way I do. Jongho’s… confused. I don't know what's going on with him, but I’m not going to let that get in between me and the clear choice.”
“Has he been there all along?” she asks simply.
“Huh?” All along? We met in the kitchen the day after I first stowed away on the ship. He gave me the advice that let Yeosang trust me enough to leave; he’s always looked out for me. On the other hand, Jongho has always rolled his eyes and dragged his feet whenever he’s had to help me. He was the first ATEEZ pirate I encountered when I was hiding in the hold. He realized that my rifle was too big for me and somehow connected that to my own sentimentality. Always in the background, in the corner scribbling down notes that will eventually save someone’s life. Seonghwa was the one who’d said that Jongho was freaking out after Enhypen took me. Jongho was the one who single-handedly made the plan to save me.
“It’s always been Jongho,” I say breathlessly. Wonyoung’s smile widens. “Please let me go back to them. I know what I have to do.”
“This has all been strictly off the record,” she says with a wink, brandishing her hand.
Bubbles rise up around me, and before I know it, Wonyoung has disappeared from view. I shoot up to the surface, sputtering and spitting out seawater.
“There she is!” I hear someone yell, and a rope drops down from the ship. I wrap it around myself and quickly get lifted up to the deck.
“Are you okay?” There’s a huddle of worried pirates crowding me, all trying to see if I’m alright.
“Where’s Jongho?” I ask urgently. The group parts and at the very back is Jongho, concern carved into his expression. I take the hand Yeosang’s offering and stand, walking through ATEEZ to get to him. I leave a path of water in my wake.
“I thought you jumped because of me,” he says.
I shake my head, smiling. “No, silly. I fell for you.”
I hear sounds of disbelief behind us, but I don’t look back. Instead, I place a hand on Jongho’s cheek and lean in. When the two of us finally kiss, it feels even better than inhaling oxygen for the first time in ten minutes.
We spend the rest of the night celebrating even harder than before. It’s deep into the night now, and after I change into dry clothes, I join the others by a fire that Wooyoung’s started in a stone pit. With Yunho on my left and Jongho on my right, I feel insulated and protected. Like anything’s possible.
“Hey, cap,” Mingi calls, clearly one of the drunkest. “Did you ever tell Y/N your origin story?”
Yeosang rolls his eyes. “It’s a silly tradition for new recruits,” he tells me. He looks so candid tonight, wearing a blouse-like shirt and his blonde hair blowing slightly in the breeze. “And Mingi’s being dramatic, calling it my origin story.”
“Please tell it, cap!” San says pleadingly. Wooyoung has an arm thrown around his shoulders, half-supporting his friend and half-holding him back.
“It’s just about my father,” Yeosang says, giving a small smile.
“Your father?” I say. “You’ve never mentioned him before.”
“Yeah, he’s the one who gave Yeosang this sick ship,” Hongjoong interrupts.
“He is,” Yeosang confirms. “You've probably heard of him, considering your father’s line of work.”
“Who is he?” I ask.
“I never told you my last name,” he says almost shyly. “It’s Monkey.”
“That—that means your father is…” I can hardly believe it.
He nods. “Monkey D. Luffy. Future King of the Pirates.”
My jaw drops. I’m truly speechless. “I— was no one going to tell me?! I’ve been here for how long? And all you guys like to say is how I’m one of you now, and you kept this major thing from me?”
They all laugh. No one looks the least bit guilty.
“It’s basically a rite of passage,” Jongho explains. “Once you know about Yeosang’s father, that’s how you know all of us trust you. You’re officially one of us now, Y/N. Congrats.”
“And to cement it,” Mingi interjects, “why don’t you lead a team chant?”
“I’d love to,” I say, flattered beyond words. All of us gather in a circle, hands in the middle.
“Eight—” I stop myself, smiling as I shake my head. “Sorry, nine makes…”
“One team!” the rest of the crew, my crew finishes.