Chapter Text
“What color do you want?” Vita interrupted Jan’s thoughts.
At first he didn't really understand what was going on. What color was she talking about? Jan slowly got up a little. He had a headache and had tried to rest a little on the small sofa in the studio while Bojan recorded a part for the next single and Nace and Kris went to look for painkillers for Jan and they also wanted to bring lunch back with them.
Vita was still standing in front of him. She was holding a book in one hand and several bottles of nail polish in the other. So that's what she meant. She almost always painted his nails when Jan asked her to. He just wasn't as good at it as she was. It had been a while since he had painted his nails and he thought it was time to do it again. Luckily, Vita wanted to go to the studio with them today anyway to film a bit for Discord.
“I have dark purple, red and green with glitter,” she said as she placed the bottles on the table in front of Jan.
Confused, Jan nodded: “Dark purple, please.”
His head was still a little foggy. Hopefully Nace and Kris would find some painkillers and they would work. If it got too bad, he would drive home or wait in the car until Nace finished his parts and record his own stuff another time. This one day more or less didn't matter anymore. The album would be late anyway and they can’t change that now. Kris also said that health is more important than the album and maybe he was right.
“Make some room,” she said as she tried to push Jan’s legs off the sofa.
Jan quickly sat down normally. If it had been one of the boys, he wouldn't have cared whether they could sit down comfortably or not. But with Via it was different.
Vita put her book next to the bottles of nail polish. Jan caught a glimpse of the title. Loveless by Alice Oseman. Interesting. He had no idea what it was about. Then she took the bottle of nail polish and grabbed Jan's hand, placing it on her knee the next moment.
Jan looked around the room to make sure they were alone and the door to the recording room was still closed. No one else should hear what he was about to ask.
He asked cautiously: “You read a lot, don’t you?”
Vita was just about to paint the first nail, but stopped in mid-motion to look at him questioningly. She has even raised one eyebrow.
"Yes why?"
Jan asked even more quietly: “And you sometimes read books that deal with things like uhm, where you know, uhm when people are intimate with each other, don’t you?”
“Do you mean, people having Sex?” Vita asked, visibly confused.
Jan nodded almost imperceptibly.
“Sometimes,” said Vita as she put color on the first nail.
The liquid felt cold on his nail.
When she got to the second nail, she asked, "Are you looking for recommendations or something?"
She looked up at him briefly. He just shouldn't have brought it up. As always, he had spoken first and then thought about what to say. That was so typical. But Vita would certainly not judge him. At least that was what he hoped.
"I don't read spicy stuff that often. Otherwise you could just read a fanfiction about you and Nace. Because I don't think you want to read that for pleasure, but more for research purposes," she said with a slight laugh.
Jan looked at her in shock. She was right, but the last thing he would do was read fanfiction about himself. He generally wouldn't read fanfiction about anyone. Was Vita reading fanfiction about him? He didn't really want to believe that, but he didn't want to ask her either. Why was this all so uncomfortable?
She looked up from Jan's hand to his face again. When she saw Jan's face, she started laughing. He didn't find the whole situation funny at all. He had hoped that Vita could help him somehow. Every week she read a different book, there must be something in there that could help Jan. And so far, Jan hadn't slept with Nace, not even after what happened in the kitchen the other day. But Jan felt ready. At least he wanted to try it. He just needed some inspiration on how something like that worked. He refused to watch a porn because he didn't want to see it so graphically.
"That was a joke, Janci. You don't have to read anything. If it happens, it happens. Don't worry about it too much. And Nace sure has enough experience to help you. Maybe it's better in general if you talk to him about such topics instead of reading about it. Just because you read something, doesn’t mean that you will like it or feel comfortable doing it. And also a lot of times the things that are written are overexaggerating and not the reality," she added seriously.
Then she turned her attention back to his nails. Maybe it would be better if they didn't talk any more. It could only get more uncomfortable for Jan. And he really didn’t need a sex talk with Vita. Yes, he started the whole conversation but it was a stupid idea.
When she had finished with the first hand, she reached for Jan's other hand. There was silence around them. Now and then you could hear a car driving past, but that was it. You couldn't even really hear Bojan. The silence was pleasant. Jan just sat there and let Vita do her work.
“We have to do another layer later, but let it dry first,” said Vita as she screwed the small bottle shut and placed it on the table.
Jan just nodded. He held his hands in front of him, his fingers spread out iwide. That was always a reason why he only painted one hand. Then he could at least do something else with the other hand. He felt like a fish out of water.
Voices came from the hallway. It was Kris and Nace. Just a few moments later, they were standing together in the doorway. Kris was holding several pizza boxes in his arms.
When Nace saw Jan sitting there with his fingers spread, he asked in confusion: “Did something happen to your hands?”
Vita replied with a laugh: “We are currently painting Janci’s nails and it has to dry now.”
Still a little confused, Nace nodded. Kris put the pizza boxes on the table while Nace looked for something in his bag. When he found what he was looking for, he walked over to the sofa and sat down on the armrest next to Jan. In his hands he held a water bottle and a small box.
“Jure is still on the phone but said he’ll be finished soon,” said Nace, gently tucking a strand of hair behind Jan’s ear.
He then wanted to give Jan the box and the water, but then remembered that Jan's nail polish had not dried yet. So he opened the box himself and took out a pill.
"I usually take these whenever I have a headache. I hope they help you," said Nace as he tried to hand Jan the pill.
He nodded slightly and opened his mouth. He couldn't take the pill in his hand. The risk of him getting nail polish in his mouth was too big. He had accidentally gotten nail polish in his mouth often enough to know that it didn't taste good. Nace seemed to notice this too and put the pill on his tongue. Then he opened the bottle of water and held it to Jan's mouth.
“Gay men are the worst,” said Kris, annoyed.
Jan held up his middle finger in Kris' direction while he took a sip of water. He hoped his nail polish wouldn't smudge but it would have been worth it. Nace looked frantically from Jan to Vita and back again. He didn't know that Vita knew. Well, she didn't really know. Jan had never said that he and Nace were together, but he hadn't denied it either and she also never asked about it.
When Jan had swallowed the pill, Jan said: “Vita knows.”
“Vita knows way too much to be honest,” she said amusedly.
Jan looked at her in panic. Hopefully she wouldn't say anything about the conversation they just had. She just smiled at him and shook her head slightly.
Then she added, “The nail polish should be dry,” and grabbed Jan’s hand.
Jan just let it happen. He wanted his nails to look pretty. Nace was still sitting next to him and had put an arm around Jan's shoulder. Tired, Jan leaned his head on his boyfriend's chest. He really hoped that the painkillers would help before it got worse. Or maybe it would help if he ate something.
In any case, he was grateful that Nace was there for him and wouldn't leave him alone if things got worse. He felt safe, surrounded by his friends. He always did, but somehow he became even more aware of it in that moment, while Nace just held him tight and Vita painted his nails whily Kris talked to Jure in the doorway and occasionally glanced at the recording booth. Nobody judged him for who he was, and he could be exactly who he wanted to be.
The headache wasn't really getting better, so Nace had forced Jan to take a shower and then put him to bed while he made some soup. Jan wasn't sure if soup would help with his headache, but he didn't want to argue with Nace about it. He seemed so happy when he said he was going to make the perfect soup.
Igor was curled up at the foot of the bed, obviously sleeping. Jan had also tried to sleep for a bit, but he couldn’t really fall asleep. He needed Nace. If he held him, Jan would fall asleep straight away. Maybe he should go and see where the older one was. He carefully threw the blanket away and tried not to wake Igor while doing so. He didn't seem to care at all that his owner had just gotten up. That was fine too.
His head still hurt as he made his way to the kitchen. Maybe he should have put on socks because the floor was ice cold under his feet. Somehow it had always been warmer the last few days than it was now. Soon it would be autumn and it would get even colder, but luckily he had Nace to keep him warm.
When he arrived in the kitchen, Nace stood with his back to him and stirred something. Jan walked towards him and gently wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. He buried his face slightly between his shoulder blades.
After a moment of confusion, he asked, “Do you think my shoulders can make your headache go away?”
“Maybe,” Jan mumbled into the soft fabric beneath him.
It wasn't the first time in the past week that Nace had teased him, and today certainly wouldn't be the last time he would do so. They just stood there for a moment. Jan breathed in his boyfriend's shower gel and closed his eyes for a brief moment.
“The soup should be ready soon,” said Nace, running his hand over Jan’s hip.
Jan nodded slightly. He didn’t want to part from Nace yet.
“I also bought your favorite ice cream for dessert,” Nace said, trying to turn in his boyfriend’s arms.
“I love you,” Jan replied quietly.
Nace didn't say anything. Had Jan really just said that? He carefully loosened his grip a little, his face still pressed between his friend's shoulder blades. He had definitely overstepped all boundaries. Why did he even say that? It wasn’t a lie but maybe it was too early to say.
But then Nace turned around and wrapped his arms around Jan's body. He had one hand buried in his hair and was holding him gently against him.
“I love you too,” Nace whispered into the dark hair.
At these words, Jan tightened his grip again and buried his face slightly in the crook of the older man's neck. Maybe everything was okay the way it was.
They didn't stand there for long because Nace remembered the soup on the stove just in time. Jan only reluctantly let go of him. He just wanted to cuddle.
"We'll just eat here at the table and then we can go to bed together and cuddle some more, okay? If you like, you can eat the ice cream in bed," Nace asked, looking briefly over his shoulder at Jan.
He nodded slightly and sat down at the dining table. Maybe the soup would really help him.
The next moment, Nace placed a bowl of steaming hot soup in front of him. With one hand, he ran his hand through Jan's hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead before taking a bowl for himself and sitting down at the table next to him.
They wished each other a good appetite before they started eating.
Nace wasn't exaggerating when he said he could make the perfect soup. It was salty and somehow a little sour and a little spicy. It all went together perfectly.
“Does it taste good?” Nace asked, slightly uncertain.
Jan quickly nodded: “This is the best soup I have ever eaten.”
Nace blushed at the words and Jan nodded even more. Jan demonstratively ate a large spoonful and let out a loud "hmmm". This time he didn't even choke. Maybe it was a bit hot and Jan was about to burn his whole mouth, but he wouldn’t admit that. Grinning, Nace shook his head slightly.
Jan was woken up by a noise that was far too loud. What time was it? Where was he? And what was going on here?
It took a moment for Jan to understand what was going on. His head was still resting on Nace's chest, who also still had an arm around him. The loud noise was a telephone. Was that Jan's telephone?
The next moment it stopped and voices rang out.
“Janci? Where are you?”
Kris.
"Has something happened? Jan is sleeping right now," said Nace as he pulled Jan a little closer to him.
His hand gently stroked Jan's head. Still not fully awake, Jan pulled his blanket a little higher.
Some voices came from Kris's phone, but they didn't seem to be talking to Nace.
“What’s going on?” asked Jan, yawning.
“Janci? Are you there?” Kris’s excited voice rang out.
He looked up at Nace, who was still holding up the phone. He seemed to be facetiming. Jan awkwardly raised his arm and pulled Nace's hand down to him. Kris was on the far too bright screen. His face was a little too close to the camera.
“What do you want?” asked Jan with another yawn.
“I wanted to ask if you are feeling better or if you still have a headache,” said Kris with wide eyes.
Nace's free hand was still stroking his head and burying itself lightly in his hair. Right now he just wanted to go back to sleep. He hadn't even noticed that he had fallen asleep, but it had done him good. And it would certainly do him even better if he could go back to sleep.
Kris was still looking at him expectantly. Since when were his eyes so big?
"I'm feeling better. Thanks for asking. But I would be feeling even better if you hadn't woken me up," Jan said.
The bright light made it difficult for him to keep his eyes open.
“It’s not even nine o’clock,” said Bojan.
Of course he was there too.
"When you feel better, you and Nace could come over. To my house. Bojan and Jure are here too. Maybe Martin will come too. We want to play board games," said Kris happily.
Jan looked up at Nace skeptically. Nace just shrugged his shoulders slightly.
“You have to decide if you want to go,” he said with a crooked smile.
When Jan looked at his phone again, Kris was still looking at him expectantly. The way Kris was looking at him, he couldn't really say no.
“And I miss you,” Kris added quickly.
Jan carefully sat up a little, accidentally pressing the back of his head into Nace's face. But this didn't seem to bother him. His hand was still in Jan's hair, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. He looked up at his boyfriend again. He would much rather stay in bed with him and cuddle, but a game night sounded good too. Nace gave him a light kiss on the forehead. He could cuddle with Nace all day tomorrow. They hadn't planned on going to the studio and gave everyone a day off. Actually, they wanted to visit Jan's parents, but maybe they would postpone that until another time.
Nace gently pressed a light kiss to his forehead. Jan would love to fall asleep and wake up next to his boyfriend every day. Was it too early to think about moving in together?
"Please, Janci. We haven't done anything for a long time because you're always with Nace. Or he's with you. But you were my Janci first," Kris' voice rang out, louder than before.
Suddenly Jan jerked his head towards his cell phone: "That's not true. You come here all the time and you don't care if Nace is here or not."
For a moment they just looked at each other through the phone screen. Kris had raised an eyebrow and looked at him challengingly. He wanted to be part of the game night, but he also didn't want Kris to think he was winning this argument right now.
Then Jan asked: “Are there snacks?”
Kris looked briefly over his shoulder: “If Jure hasn’t eaten everything, yes.”
“If there are no snacks, we’ll drive straight back,” Jan said seriously.
“You can eat Nace if you want something sweet so badly,” Kris said snippily.
Jan didn't know how to answer. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Nace just started laughing and pulled Jan a little closer to him. He buried his face lightly in his hair.
“We’re not coming,” Jan said seriously as he just hung up.
The last thing he saw before the screen went dark was a broadly grinning Kris, being stared at by a shocked Bojan.
Jan then snuggled up to his boyfriend again. He wrapped one arm around his chest and pulled him tightly to him.
“I take this as a sign that you won’t leave the house today,” said Nace, slightly amused.
With both hands he gently stroked Jan’s hair and his back.
“That’s a good guess,” Jan mumbled to himself.
Kris tried to call again, but Jan just hung up.
“Are you going to get out of bed today?” Nace asked, his thumb stroking Jan’s neck with light pressure.
Jan raised his head slightly as he said this. Nace bit his lower lip slightly as he looked questioningly at Jan.
He shook his head slightly. He couldn't think of any reason why he should get out of bed today. The most important thing was here with him. He really loved Kris and was glad that he was his best friend, but he would always prefer to cuddle with Nace than have a game night with the whole band. Bojan was an incredibly bad loser and it happened more than once that he threw the game board across the room. And Kris himself was no better. He didn't throw the game board around, but if something didn't went the way he wanted, he would sweep all the pieces off the board and pretend it was an accident. Nobody accidentally wiped all the pieces off the board.
In return, Jan would make sure that he would drive to Kris's soon and do something with him. Without Nace or Bojan. Just him and Kris.
He wouldn't neglect his best friend just because he had a boyfriend now. They both had to find a solution together, how they could at least do something together now and then despite their partners. Maybe they could just FaceTime more. They would think of something to do. And he also didn’t thenk that Kris would stop coming over randomly and crash his time with Nace.
Until then, he would spend time with his boyfriend.
“I love you,” Nace said with a crooked smile.
Jan sat up. He put a hand on Nace's cheek. He gently stroked the contours of Nace's beard with his thumb. Stubbles slightly pricked his skin.
“I love you too,” Jan replied quietly.
Their noses gently brushed against each other before their lips met.
Once again, Jan wasn't sure what was going on. He had just been sleeping so peacefully until a loud ringing woke him up.
Grumbling, Nace pulled away from his back. Cold surrounded his upper body. A loud ringing sounded again. Was there someone at the front door? Who was ringing the bell so late? It was in the middle of the night.
“I’ll see who’s there,” mumbled Jan as he slowly stood up.
He shuffled to the front door. It was cold outside the bed. Just as he was about to unlock it, the bell rang again. This couldn't be true. Annoyed, he opened the door.
In front of him stood Kris, Bojan and Jure.
“Are you mad at me?” Kris asked with wide eyes.
Jan found it difficult to keep his eyes open. A bright light shone down on them from the ceiling. With his eyes slightly narrowed, Jan shook his head.
“Thank God,” said Kris with relief as he wrapped his arms around the guitarist.
Jan awkwardly tapped him lightly on the hip. Why are they here?
"What's going on?"
Nace’s rough voice startled Jan slightly.
“Kris felt guilty about earlier and wanted to apologize to Jan,” said Jure, shrugging his shoulders.
The next moment, Jan felt a large hand on his lower back. It was warm on his bare skin. Maybe he should have put something on. Now it was too late. Nace gently stroked Jan's spine with his thumb.
Jan still didn't understand what was going on. Kris could have simply send him a message. He maybe wouldn’t have seen it but he would have answered tomorrow morning.
Then Nace asked, “Do you want to come in?”
“Is Igor there?” Jure asked as he pushed past Jan and Kris.
Bojan followed without saying a word.
“I’ll get you something to wear, Janci,” said Nace, and the next moment the warm hand had disappeared from his back.
The next moment, Kris pulled away from Jan and looked at him seriously. As seriously as one could look after at least three beers. He knew Kris well enough, to know that the younger one wasn’t sober.
He had placed one hand on Jan’s cheek.
“Did you?” asked Kris with wide eyes.
Once again Jan wondered, since when Kris’ eyes were this big. But when Jan understood what Kris meant, he tore himself away from him and turned away. He wasn't sure how to respond. He certainly wouldn't tell Kris about what had happened earlier. He still wasn't sure whether he had even liked it or not. Nace had assured him several times that everything was fine and that he wouldn't force Jan to do anything. If Jan wanted to, they would find out together what he liked and if he didn't want to find out for now, that would be fine too. And they weren’t really doing anything. Just testing the waters.
Now he had to make sure that the others weren't up to any mischief, and he didn't feel like talking to Kris anymore.
“Tell me everything, Janci,” Kris said happily as he followed Jan into the house and closed the door behind him.
Then he wrapped his arms around Jan's hips from behind and laid his head on his shoulder.
"Isn't it crazy that we've experienced everything in our lives together? I hope that if I ever get married, you'll be my best man. And I'd love to be the best man at your wedding too," Kris said, suddenly much calmer than before.
“If I haven’t killed you first,” Jan replied seriously.
At these words, Kris giggled softly: "You would never do that. You love me too much."
Suddenly Nace was standing in front of them again. He looked at them both with a slight amusement. Jan, on the other hand, looked pleadingly at his boyfriend. He loved Kris, but he had had enough of touching and hugging.
Then Kris said: “I’ll go and see what Igor is up to” and broke away from Jan.
After a quick smile, he disappeared into the living room. Nace was still standing there and gave him a warm smile. Then he helped Jan put on the sweater. Once again, Jan was happy to have the bassist in his life.
Nace gently put his arms around him and pulled him slightly towards him. Jan buried his face in the crook of the older man's neck while wrapping his own arms around his waist.
"I think they're going to spend the night here. They got here with a taxi," Nace whispered into the dark hair, while trying to tame it a little.
Jan took a deep breath. On the one hand, it annoyed him that his friends came to him in the middle of the night and woke him up, but at the same time it made him happy to have such good friends. Kris had come all the way to apologize to Jan. And the other two had just come along for whatever reason. It was often the case that one of them had an idea and everyone else just went along with it.
They trusted each other blindly. Jan really couldn't ask for better friends.
"Let's go to the others. Maybe they're already tired too and we'll all go back to sleep soon," Nace said with a slight laugh as he pulled Jan by the hand into the living room.
Bojan was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and stroking Igor's belly, while Jure had made himself comfortable next to the four-legged friend on the sofa. Kris was sitting on the floor next to Bojan and had one arm wrapped around him.
His little family. Even if Nace wasn't his partner, he would still be part of the family and Jan hoped that even if it might not be forever between them, he would still remain a part of them. He couldn't do without any of his friends.
“I’m sleeping with Igor on the sofa,” said Jure, without anyone asking.
"Then Bojan and I will share the guest room, unless Nace wants to go to the guest room?" Kris asked, looking up from the floor.
His eyes were once again incredibly wide. It was really frightening. He stuck out his lower lip slightly as he looked pleadingly at Nace.
"You can forget about that. You can be glad that I'm not throwing you all out again," Jan said seriously.
Sulking, Kris pressed his face into the crook of the singer’s neck.
“It was worth a try I guess,” Kris mumbled to himself.
Nace sat down on the sofa and pulled Jan down as well. Jan leaned directly against his boyfriend. Maybe he would just sleep here. They could bring the mattresses and have a big pajama party in the living room. But that might be a bit uncomfortable and Jan didn't feel like lugging the mattresses around.
There was a pleasant silence. The only thing you could hear now and then was Igor's loud purring. It had taken him a long time to become friends with the band. Only with Nace he got close pretty quickly. But maybe that was because he often bribed the four-legged friend with treats. Every time Jan noticed this, he pretended not to have seen it, because he had always been happy when Nace was so happy that Igor let him pet him or when Igor decided to sleep on his lap.
Suddenly Jure broke the silence: “I want to propose to Nika.”
It took a moment for everyone to understand what he had said.
Before anyone could answer, he added: "I really love you all very much, but Nika is the love of my life. I can't imagine living a single day without her and maybe soon there will be three of us and it just feels right to take the next step now."
Jure lowered his gaze again and stroked Igor’s stomach.
Three of them? Would Jure soon be a father? It all happened pretty quickly. It wasn't really that fast, since Jure and Nika had been together for over five years and many of their friends already had children, but it was Jure. He would definitely have more bruises from playing and running around than the child. Hopefully it wouldn't be as clumsy as Jure. And hopefully he wouldn't pass on his big forehead to the child.
Kris was the first to find his voice: “Congratulations. How many months is Nika pregnant? And do you know the gender yet?”
Jure looked up, confused: “Nika? We want to get a cat.”
Only now did he notice the confused faces of his friends. That was typical Jure.
“Do you already have an idea how you would like to propose to Nika?” asked Bojan.
Jure thought for a moment and then shook his head: "I thought maybe you could help me somehow. I would like to do something big but I'm not sure what."
“Nothing with fire. And preferably nothing that could hurt you,” Nace said bluntly.
At these words, the rest laughed, only Jure grinned slightly and shook his head again.
"It will probably be difficult for Jure not to get hurt. He even falls off a chair while sitting still," Kris said, laughing.
Grinning, Jure showed the youngest his middle finger.
The tiredness was gone. Jan could stay awake for hours and plan the marriage proposal with his friends.
And they just did that. Jan had organized a notebook in which Kris wrote down all the ideas. He even drew little stick figures to represent not only Jure and Nika, but also the band, in case they were needed for the proposal. Some were more realistic than others. They probably wouldn't put Jure on a horse in knight's armor, but maybe they would convince Nika to star in the Bluza music video and end it with a proposal.
Jan liked the cat idea the best. Jure said that he and Nika had already looked at several cats in the animal shelter and Nika had a clear favorite, which Jure said she would never admit. And he had considered secretly adopting her and putting the ring on her collar. Nace, however, thought that would be too much. She would probably concentrate more on the cat than on the proposal.
At some point they opened a bottle of wine. With each glass of wine the ideas became more and more absurd. They pulled out the sofa and made themselves comfortable with pillows and blankets. Jan sat on the sofa with Nace and Jure, while Kris and Bojan made themselves comfortable on the armchair. Kris had his tongue slightly sticking out while he sketched the newest idea. He had put one arm around Bojan's neck and this position was probably anything but comfortable. Jan himself sat with his back leaning against Nace's chest, while Jure had more or less made himself comfortable on his legs. Igor was still napping as his feet.
Once again, Jan was grateful for his friends. They could always rely on each other and helped each other with everything. It didn't feel strange to ask for help.
He hoped that this friendship would last for a long time. Even if the band split up at some point and they stopped making music, he hoped that they would still meet up from time to time to talk about everything that had happened. But he really couldn't imagine that they would stop being in touch at some point.
Joker Out was much more than just a band and more than just friends. They were a family.