Chapter Text
Stiles
Grave miscalculations regarding the need for wearing a condom while having sex with one’s STD-Repellant-But-Receptive boyfriend aside, Stiles had always been an excellent researcher, a skill that went back all the way to his very dedicated attempts to discover what would happen if one cut a hole into a sock … and the repeating the experiment ten times just to make sure.
His father, many years away from his comfortable Sheriff salary, had stared at his ruined pairs of socks with a very heavy sigh, but his mother had been sympathetic to Stiles’ scientific curiosity, hearing him out, praising him for his creativity, and proudly ruffling his hair before putting him in time-out for taking the scissors from the kitchen without permission.
Stiles always missed his mother, but as he stared at his meticulously researched “(What) To Do (After Doing Derek)”-List Stiles missed her even more than usual.
Granted, she probably wouldn’t have been all too thrilled with him either, but Stiles’ mother had been a midwife specializing in home-births before her death, which would have made her an invaluable source of information.
Stiles was reasonably sure the Hales were going to push for a home birth – or forest birth, possibly – and the image of his mother literally fighting Deaton off with a baseball bat to be the one to deliver her grand-litter was both amusing and painful, making him yearn for her support.
As it was, he only had the Internet, the HumanMate.com forum, and the very judgmental moms from the commenting section on the People magazine website to guide him, which was why the list was still very much in its early development stages.
(What) To Do (After Doing Derek)
- Buy pre-natal vitamins
- Avoid being seen while buying pre-natal vitamins
- Figure out way to slip Derek pre-natal vitamins
- Confirm pregnancy
- Survive combined Hale and Stilinski Sr. Tornado-of-Parental-Disappointment after confirmation of pregnancy
- Figure out names for the litter
- Make a birth-plan
- Freak out while making a birth-plan
- Grovel at Derek’s (possibly) swollen feet after freaking out while making a birth-plan
- Get a job to support the litter
- Apply for college
Sighing, Stiles stared at the last point, his eyes fixed on the little hole he had punched into the paper in his hastiness to cross it out.
He knew it wasn’t impossible and he was reasonably sure that his grades would get him a couple of decent scholarships, but the reality of going to college and supporting a child – or multiple children – was going to be difficult, especially if both parents wanted to pursue their education.
In a way Stiles was almost glad that Derek hadn’t realized his condition yet, giving him just a little more time to present a plan of action to the Hales and his father that would – hopefully – diminish their combined urges to castrate him and/or feed him to the fishes (Stiles was reasonably sure that Cora’s newfound grudging respect for him would evaporate in an instant once she found out he’d knocked up her big brother).
In the meantime, Stiles was determined to focus on the things he actually could do something about even without his painfully oblivious boyfriend being in-the-know.
A trip to the store two towns over was definitely in order.
===================
“Orange, maybe? Could be cherry, too? Where did you get those again?”
Derek chewed methodically, face scrunched up in confusion, and Stiles internally fist-pumped himself for his decision to get the gummy bear pre-natal vitamins, allowing him to feed them to Derek under the guise of trying to figure out the flavor.
“Oh, I just saw them at the store a while back. Lost the packaging though, so I wasn’t sure what they taste like, exactly. Do you like them?”
“They’re alright, I guess,” Derek replied, swallowing, and Stiles immediately held out another handful of the gummy bears for him, figuring that it was about time they made up for the time that had already been lost.
Derek raised his eyebrows but he accepted the bears nevertheless and Stiles let out the breath he’d been holding, crawling on the bed and snuggling against the werewolf, his cheek resting against Derek’s chest, staying clear of his nipples, just in case, his hand casually – or at least Stiles hoped it seemed casual – rubbing Derek’s abdomen.
According to the forum Derek was supposed to start showing any day now and Stiles equally dreaded and longed to see the final proof, terrified of Derek’s reaction on the one hand and desperate to finally stifle the last sliver of doubt that this could all turn out to be a misunderstanding on the other, wondering when exactly “Don’t let this be true!” had turned into “I’m not sure what I’ll do if it’s not.”
“You ok? You’re zoning,” Derek said, fingers idly playing with Stiles’ hair and Stiles shrugged, telling himself to focus as he raised his head just enough to be able to make eye-contact with Derek.
The werewolf looked a bit sleepy but content and Stiles smiled fondly, fingers flexing on Derek’s abdomen as he thought about the likely reason for the werewolf’s sleepiness.
“What are you thinking about?” Derek asked and Stiles chuckled in grim amusement, imagining for just a moment what Derek would have to say if he actually told him just what he was constantly thinking about these days.
Sadly, he was currently cuddling up to a walking-talking lie detector and so Stiles decided to go with an abridged version of the truth, hoping that Derek wouldn’t get suspicious.
“I was thinking about names.”
Derek’s eyebrow rose suspiciously.
“Names?”
“Yeah. Names. You know. Boy names. Girl names. All kinds of names, really,” he said quickly, wincing when Derek’s second eyebrow joined the first.
“Why are you thinking about names?” he asked and Stiles could literally feel his heart speeding up, brain running frantically as he tried to come up with a good reason.
“Uhm … because … I … think it’s good to think about names in case one ever needs to … uh … name something?” he replied and Derek cocked his head questioningly, his confused expression suddenly giving way to fond amusement.
“You do know that Cora was joking when she said she’d like you even more if you got her a puppy, right?” he asked and Stiles breathed out sharply, thanking the deities for Cora Hale’s conveniently voiced intimidation tactics.
“Well, yeah, I mean, I’m pretty sure your mom would like me a lot less if I got Cora the puppy she has apparently been denied her entire existence” Or if, you know, she found out that I knocked up her only son in high school “so of course I’m not going to get her a puppy. Can’t hurt to think of a name though. Just in case.”
“Laura and I were denied, too, but in my mom’s defense she did have a point. Not every dog can adapt to living in a house with an Alpha werewolf,” Derek said, sounding just a bit regretful.
“So you wanted a puppy, too?” Stiles asked and Derek chuckled, nodding with a grin.
“Oh yeah. I was going to name him Scooby-Doo. Well, until I watched the werewolf episode where the werewolf was all green and turned out to be a criminal that was.”
“Really?” Stiles asked, smiling, and Derek’s grin widened.
“I was rather offended, actually, especially when Laura told me that I would probably grow up to look exactly like him. I cried and Laura got in trouble.”
Stiles chuckled, images of a baby-sized Derek pouting filling his head as he gently stroked Derek’s belly, wondering if their baby – or litter – would take after Derek or after him.
“And now?” he asked, adding, “What would you name a … uh … a puppy now? Not that I want to get a puppy right this minute, but at some point I’m pretty sure that topic might come up,” when Derek made a questioning sound.
“Khaleesi,” Derek said promptly and Stiles grimaced, propping himself up on one elbow and raising his eyebrows at Derek.
“Game of Thrones? Really?”
“Why not? It’s a pretty name, isn’t it?”
“Well, yeah … but wouldn’t you rather use something a bit less … fictional?”
“Like what, Mildred? Who ever named their dog Mildred?”
“What? No! I meant more like … uh … like Claudia. Or something.”
When Derek’s hand stilled against his hair Stiles held his breath, replaying his last words, and it seemed like forever until Derek gently grasped his chin to tilt up his head, his hazel eyes bearing into Stiles’ earnestly.
“You want to name our puppy after your mom?” he asked and Stiles exhaled, a blush creeping up his cheeks when he muttered, “Or something,” decidedly not looking at Derek.
“Stiles,” Derek said softly, and when Stiles looked at him once more he could tell that Derek was concerned, wondering just what kind of chem signals he was currently giving out.
“We can name our puppy Claudia if you really want to. But … if you wanted to save that name for another occasion that would be fine, too! I mean … uh …” Derek trailed off, his cheeks burning brightly as he looked at Stiles nervously, obviously surprised at his own words.
For a moment Stiles thought his heart was going to explode, wondering if Derek had finally caught on to what was happening, but when boyfriend started looking confused again he sighed internally, chastising himself for figuring it would be this easy.
Still, Derek’s words had carried a meaning that was not lost on Stiles and he smiled, whispering, “I love you,” and diving up to kiss Derek breathless.
When the werewolf’s arms wound around him Stiles, for the first time in over three weeks, felt oddly at peace.
==================
Derek
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Mom!”
Derek was done with the world.
Just … done.
He was still bunking with his sleep-pattern-ruining uncle, his boyfriend was clearly worrying about something – and refusing to tell Derek about it, which was starting to trigger all of his inherently protective werewolf provider instincts in all the wrong ways – and now his mother had decided to do laundry on date-night, meaning that all of his nicer shirts were currently in the washing machine, and the only Henley that was even remotely acceptable for a date with his boyfriend … no longer fit.
“Mom!” Derek yelled again, staring at his reflection in increasing desperation, and when his mother poked her head inside his room he whirled towards her, feeling horribly betrayed by the universe.
“What did you do to my shirt?”
“What’s wrong with your shirt, little Bear?” his mother asked, grinning, and Derek was not proud of the sound he made in response, fingers tugging at the skin-tight fabric helplessly.
“Look at this! It’s like two sizes too small, I look ridiculous, what happened to my shirt?”
“Oh dear, it does look a bit tight. Your uncle was doing laundry two days ago, maybe he put it in the dryer by mistake?”
“Peter!” Derek roared, wincing guiltily when his mother glared at him and a second later Peter appeared next to his older sister, looking incredibly amused.
“You called, Nephew Dearest?”
“What the hell did you do to my shirt? First the itching powder, now this? What the fuck is going on here, why are you …”
“Language!” his grandmother chastised him, appearing behind Talia and cocking her head to the side as she looked at Derek.
Derek huffed, waving his hands at his empty drawer accusatorily.
“What am I supposed to wear, my basketball uniform? For some reason all my shirts are in the wash and this one looks like it’s two sizes too small!”
“That reminds me, I was going to tell you, I spilled some Dr Pepper all over your drawer earlier. Luckily that one shirt survived, right?” Peter grinned, his head hastily disappearing from the doorframe when Derek lunged at him.
“Derek!” his mother commanded, the Alpha clear in her voice, and Derek stopped immediately, baring his neck in apology.
“It is a bit tight, yes, but I doubt Stiles will mind. Just wear your leather jacket over it, you’ll be fine. And besides, knowing the two of you the shirts are going to come off within the first five minutes of the date anyways, so I don’t see the reason for all this fussing,” his grandmother said wisely and Derek groaned, partly in embarrassment and partly because of the uncomfortable way the shirt stretched across his chest.
He could feel the fabric digging into his skin with every movement, riding up his belly with every other step, and when Stiles’ jeep pulled up in front of the house Derek was wearing his jacket closed, hopeful that the shirts would indeed come off before Stiles noticed his unflattering attire.
It was a warm early fall night, much warmer than usual this time of year, and by the time they sat down on the hilltop overlooking Beacon Hills Derek was sweating, the shirt digging into him in all the wrong places.
“Are you ok?” Stiles asked, looking worried, and Derek sighed, looking around quickly to make sure they were indeed alone before he ripped open his jacket and tossed it on the grass, letting out a sigh of relief when the air hit his overheated skin.
“Yes Stiles, I’m fine. I just … alright, what is it now?”
Stiles was staring at him like he’d never seen him before, eyes wider than a startled doe, and Derek followed his gaze, eyebrows rising when he looked down at his abdomen.
The shirt had once more ridden up, digging into his skin and revealing the fuzzy skin of his lower belly, pushed forward ever so slightly by the uncomfortably tight hemline and Derek tugged it down a bit more aggressively than he had been going for, wincing when he could hear the fabric tear at his back.
“Stiles?” Derek asked when the silence stretched into more-than-awkward territory, waving his hands in front of Stiles’ face and Stiles startled, muttered, “I think I forgot something in the jeep!” and scrambled off, leaving a very confused – and alarmed – Derek in his wake.
It took almost five minutes for Stiles to return and Derek was just about ready to go after him and demand an explanation when his boyfriend got out of the jeep, staring at his cell phone as he walked back to Derek.
“What did you forget?” Derek asked, frowning when Stiles muttered, “Huh? Nothing,” his eyes once more fixed on Derek’s ill-fitting shirt.
Derek frowned, clearly able to hear the lie in Stiles’ heartbeat.
“Are you sure?” he asked, a bit more aggressively than he had been going for and feeling guilty almost immediately, but Stiles had been acting and smelling weird for weeks now and Derek was just about to reach the point where his insecurities were about to get the better of him.
“Totally sure,” Stiles lied, seemingly realizing his mistake and wincing when Derek could feel his own expression morphing from exasperation into hurt.
“I … oh fuck it! Damn it, Derek, why can’t you just …”
“Why can’t I what?” Derek snapped, frustrated, and Stiles sighed, his expression tense when he turned his head away.
“Nothing. Forget it. Hey, look, there’s a squirrel, let’s look at …”
“Are you having second thoughts? About us? Is this all going too fast?” Derek interrupted him, no longer able to keep his own anxieties to himself, and Stiles gaped at him, looking shocked.
“What? Why would you even think that?” he meeped and Derek shrugged helplessly, not even sure how to voice what he was feeling.
“You’ve been so weird lately, what was I supposed to think! One minute you look at me like I’m carrying some disease and you barely even touch me, the other you’re all over me, looking at me like … like … hell, I don’t even know! Your smell’s been off for weeks now and whenever I ask what’s wrong you keep giving me evasive answers that are not quite lies but sure as hell not the truth either! I’m starting to feel like you’re hiding something from me and I don’t understand why? Unless … Stiles, do you want to break up with me?”
Stiles’ shocked expression promptly morphed into righteous indignation, his voice determined as he once more grabbed Derek’s face.
“Oh my god, no! Not in a million years! Wait, do you really think I could … that I would ever … especially now that you’re …”
Stiles took a deep breath, shaking his head, and when he spoke again he sounded a lot calmer, thumbs gently caressing Derek’s cheekbones.
“Listen to me you big dum-dum! I love you! That’s not a lie and if you think it is you better go see the werewolf ear doctor, because that’s really the last thing I would ever lie about at this point!”
He took a deep breath, shoulders dropping as he looked at Derek with a tired expression.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been acting weird, I never wanted you to feel bad, I just … this is big, ok? It’s really fucking big and, truth be told, it’s also really, really fucking scary, but trust me Derek, you are not getting rid of me this easily! I love you and I’m not going to be one of these dead-beat fuckers, I was raised better than that!” he declared and Derek stared at him in confusion, not quite sure what Stiles meant but relief flooding through him at the steadiness of his boyfriend’s heartbeat.
“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? There’s got to be a reason for why you keep smelling like you’re about to have a panic attack!” Derek said urgently, wrapping his arms around Stiles and pulling him closer, burrowing his nose against Stiles’ neck when the human’s arms dropped down to wrap around his waist.
Stiles sighed heavily.
“I want to. I really, really want to, but I can’t. Not now, anyways. Soon, I promise I’ll tell you all about it soon, but I just can’t for now.”
Derek barley resisted the urge to growl, wanting nothing more than to figure out what was bothering Stiles and hurt whoever was responsible.
“Is someone threatening you? About being with me?” he asked and Stiles immediately shook his head, eyes flashing with indignation.
“What? Hell no! Besides, if someone was threatening me about us my dad would have been the first to run them out of town, trust me on that one!”
“But it has to do with me?” Derek pressed, heart sinking when Stiles let out a huge sigh and nodded.
“Yeah. It’s nothing bad though, it’s just … just … I just can’t talk about it right now. You have to trust me on that one, Derek. Please.”
Stiles looked like he was ready to start crying any second now and Derek flinched, feeling terrible about pushing his boyfriend.
He nodded quickly and Stiles pulled him closer once more, nuzzling into the crook of his neck before he kissed him, hands pressing against Derek’s abdomen and letting out a shuddering breath.
“Can you lie back?” Stiles whispered when they broke apart and Derek complied, still feeling a bit whip-lashed from the emotional rollercoaster of his evening but needing to be as close to Stiles as possible, wanting to assure him that whatever was wrong he would be there for him.
He let out a surprised exhale when, instead of his belt-buckle, Stiles went for the hopelessly too tight shirt, pushing it up further and exposing his abdomen.
When his boyfriend began to place soft kisses all along his sensitive skin Derek relaxed, closing his eyes and focusing on the sensations of Stiles’ lips all over him, the way his fingers were gently stroking his sides, his touch almost more worshiping than erotic.
“I love you. So much,” Stiles muttered, lips pressed against his lower belly, sounding like he’d never meant anything more, and Derek believed him.
He just wished he could fix whatever was wrong.
===================
HumanMate.Com Forum
From: Batman91
To: IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha
My boyfriend just started showing but he’s still not told me about the cubs! What the hell do I do now?
Sent from My Iphone
From: IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha
To: Batman91
Worship his belly – like seriously, worship the shit out of it! He’s probably hours away from hearing the cubs’ heartbeat for the first time and the more cherished and loved he feels the better … it’ll be quite the shock!
=======================
Stiles
It was official – Stiles was going to enter Derek into the “Most Oblivious Werewolf in the History of Ever” competition, watch him win the gold medal, and applaud him as he waddled across the stage to accept it, possibly going into labor in the middle of the stage and going “Huh?”, because Stiles was legitimately wondering if whoever had spread that rumor that werewolves were more attuned with their bodies than humans had been seriously full of it.
It had been five days since their almost-fight on the hill and Derek, as far as Stiles could tell, still had no idea what was going on, even though, now that he was actually showing, he should have been hearing the cubs’ heartbeats for days already.
Well … temporarily showing, Stiles had to admit, considering he hadn’t quite been able to make out the gentle rounding in his boyfriend’s belly that had been so noticeable during their date since, but – according to his mother’s old copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting that he had found in the attic with his old baby clothes - it was apparently normal for a pregnant stomach to change shape and size randomly at the beginning, sometimes looking very pregnant and other times not looking pregnant at all.
Well, normal for a woman, at least, but Stiles was willing to bet that with their bodies’ natural ability to shift shapes and sizes at will a pregnant werewolf belly was even more unpredictable.
Belly-shape aside, however, Derek was more than overdue to finally realize what was going on and Stiles was about to go stir-crazy with the necessity to keep it a secret, seriously tempted to just ignore IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha’s warnings about how badly Derek would be hurt if Stiles figured it out before him.
Not that he hadn’t already hurt him plenty and Stiles was going to rot in the special place in hell for horrible parents and even more horrible mates for having successfully managed to make his pregnant boyfriend feel insecure about their entire relationship.
Break up with Derek?
Not likely.
Leave Derek to raise their litter on their own?
Definitely not happening, and Stiles was determined to prove it.
In the meantime – and with the helpful advice of his forum buddy – he had decided to establish a connection to his cubs, using every opportunity possible to get his hands on Derek’s belly.
He could tell that his boyfriend was a bit confused about the frequent caresses to a body part that Stiles had heretofore appreciated but largely ignored in favor of Derek’s more southern located assets, but so far he seemed to be enjoying it, his head dropping back every now and then and resting on Stiles’ shoulder when he started rubbing lazy circles into the taut skin.
“So I’ve been thinking,” Derek said hesitantly during their Friday lunch break, lounging between Stiles’ spread legs as they cuddled on one of the outside benches, his head once more resting against the human’s shoulder as Stiles carefully massaged away, “Since Cora’s decided she no longer wants you to sleep with the fishes I thought maybe you’d like to go on a full moon run with us?”
“Full moon run? What would that be like? Also, do you mind if I use some of Erica’s lotion? Your skin’s a bit dry, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Uh … sure, if you want to? But yeah, basically we all go outside as soon as the moon rises and start running. You don’t have to worry about keeping up, Boyd and Erica have run with us before, we’re used to accommodating humans.”
Stiles cocked his head, considering, a smile forming on his lips when Derek let out a soft little moan when he massaged a particularly tense feeling spot.
“Sounds really cool. Wait, you wouldn’t all be naked, would you? I mean, you guys can get naked, obviously, but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable flashing my goods to your baby-sister.”
“My grandmother and my mother are the only ones who can even manage the full shift, so no, nobody would be naked. Does that mean you’ll come with us?”
Derek sounded hopeful so Stiles nodded quickly and kissed the shell of his ear, both hands cupping Derek’s belly protectively.
“I’d love to. If you’re sure that’s going to be … uh … safe?,” he asked and Derek snorted, muttering, “Trust me, between my mother and grandmother we’ll be as safe as we can possibly get.”
Stiles sighed, having almost gotten used to the feeling of dread that overcame him every time Derek mentioned his mother or grandmother these days.
“Well … It’s a date then.”
=================
Derek
Derek was thrumming with energy as he waited for Stiles on the front porch, partly because of the pull of the full moon and partly because of joy that his boyfriend would take part in a tradition that was so important to the Hale wolves, wanting nothing more than for Stiles to feel comfortable with all aspects of their lives.
He was also deeply relieved that they seemed to have made it over the first rough patch of their relationship, even if he still didn’t quite understand how they had gotten to that place.
Laura could gag all she wanted but Derek wasn’t feeling even the slightest bit ashamed for having soaked up his boyfriend’s attention in the past days, especially not after worrying that he might actually end up losing him not even a week before.
“You smell like Erica. Did you use her perfume? You can’t use her perfume, she said only I’m allowed to! When is she going to come play with me again?”
Cora tapped against his arm, looking up at him curiously, and Derek pulled up his shirt a little, turning towards her as he pointed at his belly.
“Stiles decided to use Erica’s lotion to give me a massage today. I didn’t use her perfume, I promise,” he said, shaking his head fondly when Cora pushed her nose against his side to investigate.
“Are you sure? It smells like her perfume!” she said critically and Derek shrugged, momentarily distracted by the arrival of his boyfriend’s jeep.
When Stiles got out of the car he paused for a moment, staring at Cora and Derek with a strange expression before he broke into a wide smile and Derek smiled back, gently tapping against Cora’s head to tell her to stop sniffing him.
“Hey you,” Stiles said when he ascended the stairs and Derek kissed him deeply in greeting, the wolf whining for more intimacy just beneath his skin.
“Stiles! How lovely of you to join us this evening, Derek was really excited that you said yes!”
“There’s excitement there, all right, but I’m not a hundred percent sure whether it has to do with the full moon or a different kind of mooning … ow! Mom, why do you even know what that is?”
Greta Hale raised her eyebrows at Peter in a decidedly ‘Duh’ fashion and Derek groaned, turning towards his intimacy-ruining family with a pleading expression.
“I think we’re interrupting. Ah, I remember those first full moon runs with your father, it was always such a thrill ride!” Derek’s grandmother beamed and Derek could feel Stiles shake with suppressed laughter at the pained expression on Peter’s face, wholeheartedly sharing his boyfriend’s sentiment.
Half an hour later they were running through the forest, all of them in their Beta shift with Stiles in their midst and Derek was keeping his ears attuned to Stiles’ heartbeat, ready to slow down his family as soon as his human boyfriend showed signs of distress.
He was doing fine so far, however, and Derek grinned proudly, the wolf inside him preening over having chosen such a great mate, even if he was a bit of an over-protective mother-hen.
Apparently it wasn’t only his inside wolf who was preening, Derek realized when Laura made a gagging noise beside him, her expression playful when she bumped her shoulder against his, and Derek bumped back, smirking at his big sister in challenge.
Never one to back down from a play-fight Laura pounced, letting out a gleeful howl as she tackled Derek into the grass and Derek let out an involuntary gasp, not having expected her to throw him on the ground so quickly.
He was about to throw her off when an unfamiliar roar sounded through the trees and a moment later Laura was no longer pinning him to the ground, a startled yelp escaping her throat as she stared up at a fuming Stiles, looking as flabbergasted as Derek felt.
“Stiles? What are you doing?” he exclaimed, all too aware of his entire family having frozen behind him, and when Stiles’ head whipped towards him he could once more detect the acrid smell of panic that he had grown to detest.
“Stiles?” he tried again, but Stiles shook his head, eyes blazing with anger.
“Nope! I’m not going to let this happen!”
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Stiles
“Nope! I’m not going to let this happen! No way, no, this has gone on long enough! I’m sorry Derek, I truly am, I know I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’m not going to just stand by and watch you get hurt!”
“I’m not hurt, Stiles!” Derek said quickly, looking a little helpless as he gestured at himself but Stiles wasn’t having it, his boyfriend’s pained gasp still ringing in his ears.
“I would never hurt my brother! If you don’t let me go I’ll throw you off … and I won’t be nice about it!” Laura snapped beneath him and Stiles let out a sharp exhale, his angry expression turning into shock as he came back to his senses and truly realized the position they were in.
“Stiles, please let Laura go,” Derek’s mother said firmly, enough Alpha in her voice to affect even a human, and Stiles rubbed his hands over his face, feeling more dismayed by the second.
He got up quickly, weighing the chances of Laura biting his fingers off as he slowly extended his hand towards her in apology and Laura grabbed him firmly, her claws digging into his skin as she let him pull her off the ground.
“You know, it’s nice that you’re trying to fit in and all, but that territory bullshit really doesn’t suit you,” Laura huffed, looking towards her mother when the Alpha made a shushing sound.
“Stiles,” Talia said, stepping forward and holding his gaze and for the first time since he’d met her Stiles recognized her for every part the predator that she was, the softest glow of red shimmering in her eyes and the wolf clearly coiling beneath the surface.
“I need to understand why you just tried to challenge my daughter. Tell me what you were thinking, Stiles,” she said calmly, giving him an encouraging nod, and Stiles let out a helpless sound, looking towards Derek desperately, as if he could will the werewolf to finally realize just why he’d needed protecting with the power of his mind alone.
“Stiles, please,” Derek begged, all traces of the earlier excitement gone from his face and replaced with something that equaled devastation and Stiles … was done.
Just … done.
“I didn’t try to challenge her, I just tried to protect our babies!”
The silence following his outburst was so heavy that Stiles almost felt like it was ramming him into the ground, which, all in all, seemed a preferable course of action, wanting nothing more than to escape the situation as every member of the Hale family stared at him.
“The … babies?” Derek’s father finally asked, his eyebrows rising in a way that reminded him of Derek and Stiles nodded, figuring he would bear the brunt of Derek’s anger if it meant he’d finally take care of himself the way he needed to.
“What babies?” Talia asked in a soothing voice, looking at him like one would at a hallucinating fever patient.
“Babies? What are you talking about Stiles, dear?” Greta Hale asked and next to her Cora tugged at her sleeve, whispering, “Did he hit his head, Nana?” as she stared at Stiles curiously.
“Stiles?” Derek asked again, wide-eyed, and Stiles let out a deeply pained sound of frustration, whirling towards his boyfriend and advancing towards him, placing both of his hands on Derek’s abdomen for emphasis.
“Our babies! Our cubs! Hell, our litter … whatever you want to call them! Not important! What’s important is that you need to be more careful! You can’t just let Laura freaking attack you while you’re in this condition! I might not be a werewolf, but I can protect our litter just as you can and I’ll be damned if I …”
“What the hell are you even talking about? Litter? Wait, what condition do you think I am in?” Derek interrupted him, staring down at Stiles’ hands with a shocked expression and Stiles barely resisted the urge to growl.
“You’re pregnant!” he exclaimed, lightly pushing against Derek’s stomach for emphasis and glaring up at his boyfriend, willing him to come to his senses already.
“I’m … what?” Derek gasped in what Stiles assumed was shock and he nodded vigorously, rubbing Derek’s belly in earnest now as the words spilled out of him.
“Yes! You’re pregnant!” he repeated, frowning when Derek slowly shook his head, looking at him like he’d just grown a second head.
“Stiles … I can’t be pregnant. I’m a guy!” he exclaimed, sounding flabbergasted as he looked back and forth between Stiles’ hands on his belly and Stiles determined expression.
Stiles huffed.
“Yeah, I know! You’re still pregnant though, the signs are unmistakable and ...”
“Signs? What signs?” Derek interrupted him, looking horribly confused and a bit like he was expecting Stiles to tear off his clothes, declare himself to be a chicken, and dance the Macarena any second now.
“Headaches! First it was headaches, then you had morning sickness, which, by the way, means we’re probably expecting a litter, just so you know! Then your nipples got all cracked and sore and when your clothes no longer fit I …”
“Morning sickness? But …” Derek began, trailing off and staring past Stiles with a shocked expression.
For a moment Stiles wasn’t sure what was going on, his blood rushing through his ears so loudly that he was barely able to concentrate.
A second later he realized that the silence in the clearing had been replaced with the sound of a wildly laughing hyena.
A hyena named Peter, Stiles thought dumbly as he got a good look at Derek’s uncle, who was bent over with laughter.
“But … you had morning sickness!” he repeated, whirling back towards Derek, whose expression had turned from horrified confusion into plain horror.
“When we ate dinner at your place that one night and you came back from outside looking ready to puke all over the place! And then your nipples were all cracked and sore because of the pregnancy and the honey and maple syrup massage really helped, just like IHaveAlwaysBeenTheAlpha said it would and I just … Derek?”
Derek’s gaze flitted back and forth between him and Peter, his expression increasingly resembling that of a man who was thinking about all the creative ways to murder his uncle, and Stiles … came to a startling realization.
“Peter? Just how exactly did Stiles receive information about pregnancy-related nipple issues from someone using your old World of Warcraft user name?”
Talia Hales’ voice was like steel and Stiles frantically wished for the earth to open up and swallow him whole when Peter Hale interrupted his laughing fit long enough to grace Stiles with a shit-eating grin.
“Well … oops? Look at it this way though, Batman91, if you were willing to stick with Derek even through something as crazy as a magical male pregnancy at least we finally know you’ve got the right intentions with my dear nephew! Sorry for messing with you, but I swear that my intentions were noble and pure!”
“You mean that … you … I mean … Derek’s not pregnant?” Stiles asked, hating the way his voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and Peter grinned, gleefully declaring, “Nope! Duh!”
For a moment, no one said anything and Stiles stared at the ground, both because he was not quite ready to face the judgmental faces of the entire Hale family and because his eyes were suddenly burning like crazy.
Then …
“I’m not a hundred percent sure what the hell is going on here, but I do know that I’m going to put you in the shed. Right now,” Derek’s father said calmly at the same time as Derek charged at his uncle with a furious roar and Stiles stumbled back, mind still reeling from his shock as the three male Hale wolves took off running, their howls – furious, annoyed, and downright gleeful respectively – sounding through the nightly forest.
When he turned back towards the Hale women they were all staring at him, alternating between sympathetic, fond, and, in Cora’s case, very confused, and Stiles shrugged, trying for a smile that didn’t quite make it to his face.
“Well … this is awkward.”
======================
Derek
“So you really thought I was pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“Because you found a topic about male pregnancy in a forum that my uncle recommended to you and believed that male werewolves get pregnant if they bottom during their first time?”
“Yes.”
“And then you kept talking to someone online who you thought was an expert on male pregnancy but was in fact my asshole uncle and he convinced you that it was possible?”
“Yes.”
“And then you kept finding symptoms that, in hindsight, were all my uncle’s doing, and believed we were going to have a … a litter?”
“Yes.”
“That’s why you’ve been acting so weird lately?”
“… yes.”
“Because you were horrified?”
“Ye … What? No!” Stiles exclaimed, offended, and Derek raised his eyebrows, prompting him to continue.
“I wasn’t horrified! Well, in the beginning, sure, because who wouldn’t have been, but then I thought about it, like, really thought about what it would mean and I realized that I … wasn’t so horrified after all,” Stiles said, his voice growing quieter with every word as he looked anywhere but at Derek.
He smelled miserable and Derek felt utterly helpless, not quite sure if his boyfriend was upset because of Peter’s prank or because Derek wasn’t actually pregnant.
“So … you’d actually want to have a family with me someday?” he asked softly and Stiles sighed loudly, looking up at him with a resigned expression.
“I’d get if you want to break up with me. I do, I mean, who wants to date the town idiot who actually thought he’d magically knocked up his werewolf boyfriend? You don’t have to be nice about it, hell, after all that weirdness I put you through you definitely deserve some payback. I rubbed your nipples with honey and maple syrup for heaven’s sake, I mean, who does that? A crazy person, that’s who, so I’ll just …”
“I don’t want to break up with you! Jesus, Stiles!” Derek growled, tugging him closer and wrapping his arms around him, nudging against his face to get him to look up.
“You thought I was pregnant with a whole litter and you didn’t run for the hills even though we’re still in high school and it shouldn’t even be possible? Why would I want to break up with someone who loves me so much he’d stand by my side even when faced with a whole litter of … ass-babies?”
“That’s … a colorful way of putting it,” Stiles mumbled, his own arms tightening against Derek and when he pulled back his eyes were once more shimmering with tears.
“I would have never run for the hills, Derek! Not because of that and not because of anything other werewolf-related either. I’m sorry if I’ve given your family the impression I would have, that wasn’t my intention at all, I thought you guys knew that I …”
“You didn’t!” Derek interrupted him quickly, peppering his face with kisses and squeezing him tighter.
“You really didn’t,” Talia Hale said gently and Derek could feel Stiles tensing in his arms, not looking up when Derek’s parents and his grandmother entered the bedroom.
“I’m really sorry for my brother’s behavior, Stiles. He’s been playing pranks on my children ever since they were born, but I don’t think he realized just how cruel this one would be to you. I’m not sure what he was trying to prove, if he was even trying to prove anything at all, but whatever it was, he did not act with our permission and he does not speak for our family,” Talia said as she sat down on Derek’s back, gently rubbing between Stiles’ shoulder blades to relax him.
“How would he even come up with something so ridiculous?” Derek asked, the wolf inside him whining when Stiles’ scent once more filled with dismay, and it was his grandmother who answered, her tone thoughtful.
“It’s not … completely unprecedented little Bear,” she said and Derek gaped at her at the same time as Stiles’ head whipped around, his boyfriend’s eyes wide as he stared at the oldest Hale woman.
“What? Really?” he breathed and Derek’s grandmother nodded, her expression kind as she patted Stiles’ shoulder.
“It’s been a couple of decades since it happened on this coast, but it’s possible. Rare but possible. However, it does take a little bit more magic than just the full moon and a first time. Actual magic, in fact,” she confirmed, smiling at Stiles encouragingly when the human inhaled sharply.
“It’s a very old spell that has been passed down from emissary to emissary for generations,” Talia explained, “and even then it needs to be a very powerful emissary to pull this off. Werewolf bodies are used to adapt to change, but sometimes we do need a bit of magical help to pull it off.”
“So Deaton could help me and Stiles get pregnant some day? If that’s what we wanted?” Derek asked, his mind boggling at the possibility, and his mother shook her head, her smile fond.
“Alan’s not quite powerful enough to perform a spell like this. However, he did offer to start training our new emissary and he says that the earlier one begins with training the more likely it is that one will be able to perform the more complicated spells later on. So yes, it could be possible,” Derek’s mother said and Derek looked at her questioningly, not quite daring to hope.
“You mean …” he began and Talia nodded, beaming as she patted Stiles’ shoulder.
“I know it’s a little early to make such long-term commitments. You two are young and even though you are in love now that might not be the case this time next year. We will need a new emissary at some point, however, and if you were able to channel the same love and devotion you carry for Derek into protecting this pack then you’d make an excellent emissary some day! If you wanted to, of course.”
“What?” Stiles gasped, wide-eyed and genuinely shocked.
“You’d want me as your emissary? Really? After all this? Are you sure that …”
“You don’t have to make a decision right now Stiles, but yes, we’d be honored to have you as our emissary someday.”
“No pressure, of course, though I must say I’d love to have a great-grand-cub someday! It’s not a requirement for the position, obviously, but I do knit a mean onesie if I do say so myself,” Greta Hale added, winking at Derek over Stiles’ shoulder.
Stiles let out a shaky laugh, his fingers finding Derek’s and squeezing tightly.
“Good … that’s … that’s good to know,” Stiles said, smiling hesitantly at Derek and Derek leaned forward to kiss him, softly and soundly.
“I’m not in a hurry to have kids, I promise,” he said when they pulled apart and Stiles let out a tired laugh, his tension finally seeping away as he slumped against Derek’s chest.
“Trust me, after the month I’ve had it’s going to be decades before I can even think about having children again. At least!”
====================
10 Years Later
“Are you nervous?”
“What? No? I mean, why would I be, it’s not like there aren’t literally a million things that could mess up the spell or anything, so really, why would I be nervous?”
“The fact that you’re making the bed shake is purely a coincidence, then?”
“Absolutely! You have, in fact, never seen me so calm and collected. I …”
“Stiles,” Derek said softly, opening his arms and pulling Stiles closer, naked skin pressed against naked skin as their lips met in the softest of kisses.
“I lied. I’m really fucking nervous,” Stiles whispered against Derek’s lips and Derek held him closer, feeling Stiles’ heart pound against his ribcage and wondering if Stiles could feel his own pounding right back.
“I’m nervous, too,” Derek admitted and Stiles nuzzled against his cheek, his hands gripping Derek’s arms tightly.
“You sure you want this, though, right? We can still stop, we can …”
“I want this. So much,” Derek confirmed and Stiles let out a shaky breath, whispering “I love you,” before he slowly kissed down Derek’s neck, his chest, his ribcage, lingering over Derek’s belly for a moment before he straightened up again, his eyes filled with emotion as he hooked Derek’s legs over his shoulders.
“Hey, Stiles?” Derek whispered, linking their fingers together, and Stiles smiled back, his thumbs rubbing circles into the back of Derek’s hands.
“Yeah?”
“Just … try not to go for a litter, alright?”
Stiles laughed, a carefree sound washing over Derek and soothing his own nerves.
“I’ll try my very best.”