Chapter Text
One of Tony’s favorite effects that they can really only do when they’re performing at an indoor arena or a stadium with a roof is the snow effect. After he leaves the stage after Ours, to distract the crowd from the large set pieces being moved around and the piano being brought out, they put a winterscape background on the main screen, play a winter wind sound effect, and blow fake snow down from the ceiling. It’s incredibly magical, made even more magical tonight because tonight, their last show before they break for the Christmas holidays, is in New York and it’s snowing outside.
Tony hadn’t known about it until they’d already started the show. The forecast had called for snow, and it had certainly looked like it might when they looked at the grey clouds, but everyone knows that weather forecasts are notoriously unreliable. He’d put it out of his mind. It wasn’t until one of the techies had rushed up to him while he was waiting to go on stage for Mean and told him that it was snowing that he’d really given any credence to the idea, but he loves it. He loves winter; it’s his favorite season, and even though he knows it’s silly, he can’t help but feel like it’s snowing just for him.
The Back to December medley not only brings out the piano for him to play on, but it also brings out the bridge that gets used in Better than Revenge too, and it’s backed by nine violinists, led, of course, by Natasha. It had been T’Challa’s baby, the entire concept. Tony would have been content just playing the song in its entirety on the piano, but T’Challa is the one who brought up the violinists and the addition of Apologize and You’re Not Sorry to the number, and the result is honestly spectacular.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Although the introduction is played with the violins, once Tony starts playing the piano and sings, the violins drop out. The first verse is played completely on the piano, slowly adding the other instruments over the course of the song. Steve’s guitar comes back in first, at the beginning of the pre-chorus.
'Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
He hears Natasha join the two of them, the soft, sad sound of the violin lending an even more melancholy weight to the already-heartbreaking song.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
They bring in the rest of Tony’s band at the beginning of the second verse, but it’s not until the next chorus that they finally use the full weight of the rest of the backing violinists. Snow starts to fall from the ceiling again, harder this time, swirling more than drifting, creating an incredible effect that Tony kind of wishes he could see.
He throws his head back as Clint plays his solo on the electric guitar. His fingers are nearly slamming down on the keys, playing them harder, more dramatically, pouring out every complicated feeling he has about the way he and Bucky ended things—the way he ended things. Bucky hadn’t wanted to end things at all, and Tony won’t let him take any responsibility for it. They’re getting back to a better place now with an entire year behind them and Bucky’s new girlfriend, Kate, that he clearly dotes upon, but Tony knows he’ll still never forgive himself for breaking Bucky’s heart.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand...
Tony stops playing as the violins take over, giving the crowd a devastated, anguished look instead. Back to December is his apology to Bucky, but even though in real life, Bucky had extended so much grace to him in forgiving him, this version of the song asks what would have happened if he hadn’t? The rest of this medley is Bucky’s answer to him, and the building music, the building tension of the violins and the drums, warns them exactly what’s coming.
The sad, blue lights flash an angry red.
Tony yanks the microphone off the stand on the piano, swings his legs over the bench, and stands.
And then he said, "It's too late to apologize"
It's too late...
He said, "It's too late to apologize"
It's too late...
Shang-Chi is providing backup vocals for Tony, so it’s Steve singing those two lines of Apologize over and over again as Tony repeats his apology, pleads for him to forgive him. It’s powerful and raw and makes him want to break down sobbing every time he performs it.
So this is me swallowing my pride
It's too late to apologize
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
It's too late
And I go back to December
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
It's too late to apologize
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
It's too late
He collapses back onto the piano bench and lets one choked sob escape into the microphone before he steels himself and keeps singing.
He said you're not sorry, no, no, no
You're not sorry, no, no, no
You're not sorry, no, no, no
You're not sorry, no, no, no
As he bows his head, darkness falls.
Tony spends Christmas with the Jarvises. While he was in New York for the two concerts at Madison Square, he had put in the requisite appearance at the annual Stark Industries Gala. Maria had asked him if he would be spending Christmas with them, which had made him a little uncomfortable because he’d wanted nothing more than to say yes—he gets asked so infrequently—but he’d had to tell her no. He’d made plans to do a big Christmas party on the 24th with his entire band, any of the dancers who might still be in Nashville instead of home with their families, and Justin. He can’t just back out on that.
He likes to think that she had been disappointed to hear that, but she’d been three glass of champagne in by that point and hadn’t had much emotion even when asking him let alone when he gave his answer.
He’s very excited for the Christmas party, in all honesty. Beyond the fact that he just really loves Christmas, he and Justin will be rounding the big two-month anniversary at the beginning of January, which is a big deal for Tony, who doesn’t often have relationships that last that long.
For the first time, Justin will be meeting all of Tony’s friends at one time at the party. Tony just hopes he can live up to his expectations. Ever since Thanksgiving and overhearing what Sasha really thought about him, he’s been trying to act more mature, more deserving of the trust that Justin placed in him when he said that there was nothing wrong with them because Tony was so wise. It’s not always easy. Despite being mature for his age, Tony is still twenty-one, and there are times when he wants to act his age but has to stop himself so he doesn’t embarrass Justin. He’d met Justin’s friends at a dinner party at the beginning of December, and the less said about that, the better
He’d been overwhelmed! How could he have possibly been expected to carry the conversation around all these older, cooler people with million-dollar couches and organic shoes, talking about the meaning of life and a book that Tony had never even heard of but apparently saved their lives? He’d thought he was doing the mature thing by keeping his mouth shut, but apparently not.
They’d broken up for the first time over it, actually, and Tony had been terrified that that would be the end for them, but Justin had called the very next night, apologizing for overreacting and telling him he still loved him. So things are better now, and Tony is trying his hardest to be someone Justin can be proud of.
Of course, it’d be a lot easier to be someone Justin could be proud of if Justin were actually here.
At first, Tony hadn’t even noticed that Justin wasn’t at the party, which is a horrible thing to say about his boyfriend. But he’d been so busy trying to be a good host, making sure that everyone had a full drink in their hands, setting out food, double-checking that the white elephant gifts were still under the tree, that he hadn’t noticed Justin hadn’t arrived yet until Rhodey, drunk on eggnog, which should be impossible given Tony hadn’t put any alcohol in it (he suspects Thor), hollered, “Where’s that boyfriend of yours, anyway?”
And then he notices.
He notices a lot. Like how Justin is running two hours late. Like how he hasn’t gotten a text from Justin all night. Like how exhausted he is because he hasn’t sat down for even a second, not even when Ana offered to spell him out for a bit (he wouldn’t be acting like a good host if he sat down, obviously).
“I’m not sure,” he says, forcing a laugh. “Hang on, I’ll go call him.”
To his credit, Justin at least picks up immediately. “Sweetheart, hey!” he says, sounding guilty. “I was just getting ready to call you.”
“Where are you?” Tony asks, skipping the niceties. “I don’t remember the weather being that bad.” Although it’s been a while since the last time he checked—shit, should he have beds made up in case there’s a blizzard and people have to stay here?
“No, it’s—I’m sorry, I’m not even in Nashville.”
“You’re…” Tony trails off, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Did you get grounded somewhere?” He knew he should have sent someone to pick Justin up at the airport, but Justin had insisted on taking a taxi, and Tony, like an idiot, had agreed. At least he would have known that the flight was delayed if he’d sent someone.
“Ah, no,” Justin laughs nervously. “I, uh, I’m still in LA.”
Tony must have misheard him. “You’re still where?”
“LA,” he repeats. Tony’s heart drops into his stomach. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Filming ran late, and by the time I got out, I realized how late I’d be, so I decided not to stress you out even more.”
“But… I wanted to spend the holiday with you,” Tony says hollowly. Who even films on Christmas Eve?
“Aw, don’t be sad, I wanted to spend it with you too,” Justin coos. “But I promise I’ll make it in time for New Year’s, okay? I’ll talk to you later. Go have fun at your party!”
He hangs up before Tony can stop him. He blinks down at his phone, feeling like he’s going to cry.
“Tony?” Jarvis asks carefully from behind him. “Did you find out when he’d be coming in?”
Right. The party. Because Tony’s hosting it, and he has to be a good host.
He pastes a smile on his face and turns around. “He’s not coming,” he says. “He got held up. But that’s okay. We can still have a good time without him.”
Unfortunately, Jarvis doesn’t look reassured. “Tony,” he says slowly. “I know you love him, but I can’t help but feel you’re trying to turn yourself into someone you’re not to make him happy. It’s supposed to be fun, being twenty-one. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up.”
“I’m fine,” he insists, even though he feels like he’s going to crumble. “Let’s go start the white elephant.”
“Tony—”
“I’m fine.”
Tony doesn’t really change under the bell after Haunted, though he knows that’s what his fans think (he really enjoys reading their theories about the outfit and guitar taped to the inside of the bell). What it actually is, is that he’s standing right on top of a lift, and the lift takes him belowstage for him to get changed, grab the rhinestone guitar, and back up in the space of about thirty seconds. It’s one of the fastest changes in the entire show, not least because the lift alone takes about half the entire change.
He saunters down to the microphone stand at the front of the t-stage, absently adjusting the strap on the guitar so it hangs flat across his back instead of getting all twisted. Not only does that make for a bad picture—which Maria drilled in his head when he was younger was the Worst Possible Thing that could happen at an event—but it’s also just uncomfortable.
“Hello again,” he says affably. By now, he has to imagine that much of the crowd is going hoarse, but they still cheer just as enthusiastically back at him. “You guys have been such an incredible crowd tonight, Nashville. Really, it brings tears to my eyes—happy tears! Obviously. Um, this last album, Speak Now, was inspired by a lot of things that happened to me in my life, but one thing that inspired a song was when we went on our very first headlining tour. And I used to stand there before I’d go on stage, and I’d listen to the crowd making the most amazing noise, and I’d think to myself that I can’t believe I got to hear that even just one time in my life, but especially not every night. And then I got this melody stuck in my head—and anyone who knows me knows that I’m always writing songs—but I started writing this one, and I called that song Long Live. Thank you for screaming for us tonight! This song is completely, one hundred percent for you.”
I said, "Remember this moment"
In the back of my mind
The time we stood with our shaking hands
The crowds in stands went wild
He jerks his chin at his fans, who obligingly go wild for him. Tony grins and ducks his head bashfully, feeling so honored by their enthusiasm and their praise. Whatever else might be going on in his life, stress about the next album or about Justin or whatever, he knows that his fans always have his back.
We were the kings and the queens
And they read off our names
The night you danced like you knew our lives
Would never be the same
On the screen behind him, he knows they’re showing never before seen footage of the Fearless tour. That had been one of his suggestions, to peel back the curtains and show the audience just how much fun they had had on Fearless before embarking on this most recent part of their journey.
You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age
He throws a conspiratorial look over his shoulder at Steve on the main stage as the music builds to a crescendo.
Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered
As they start the second verse, his band starts to make their way down the ramp to join him. One at a time, first Steve, then Natasha, taking up their places on either side of him. Then Clint and Bruce and Scott and Shang-Chi, until they’re all gathered around him, excepting Thor and Sharon, whose kits are, as usual, too big to move so far. But he knows that they’re being spotlighted on the main stage, feeling like part of the band with him, and that’s what matters to him.
He steps away from the microphone and spins around, repeating the spin that he used to do when he was performing Fearless during the last tour. It’s a favorite of his fans, something that they call back to all the time when he sees their posts about the last tour.
Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall
Tony pauses and steps away again so that the microphone isn’t blocking his face. “We have absolutely loved spending time with you tonight,” he says. “And we wanna say thank you for welcoming us home the way you have, Nashville. No one could hope to be from a better town than this. You know all the words, and you’ve danced this entire night, and it means so much to me and every single person you see on this stage. Thank you!”
Will you take a moment? Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if, God forbid, fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children some day
When they point to the pictures
Please, tell 'em my name
Tell 'em how the crowds went wild
Tell 'em how I hope they shine
He looks over at Natasha and shoots her a wink, laughing when she sticks her tongue out at him. Fuck, but he’s going to miss her once this tour is over. He hopes they never lose contact with each other. She’s such an important part of his life, and he doesn’t want to say goodbye to her forever.
Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Singing, "Long live all the mountains we moved"
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live that look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day
He slings the guitar over his shoulder, as the drums crash to a stop, and holds it up high in a triumphant battle cry.
We will be remembered
Tony hosts a New Year’s Eve party just as he’d hosted the one over Christmas. It’s a little more lowkey despite the usual raucousness of New Year’s parties because he wants Justin to think that he’s grown up and doesn’t need to drink to have a good time, but he does provide plenty of champagne, which is the important party, right? He read that somewhere.
And hey! Justin does manage to make it to this one! He doesn’t seem like he’s having the best time, which is worrisome, but Tony can’t expect him to get along with his friends immediately, right? After all, Tony didn’t connect with his that quickly either. It’s totally okay. It’s not the end of the world.
Maybe if he keeps telling himself that, he’ll believe it.
“You’re looking way too sour for someone whose boyfriend flew in from California just to see you,” Clint says, jumping over the back of Tony’s couch to land neatly next to him. “Fuck, you always have the best furniture.”
“This is a good party, right?” Tony asks worriedly, eyeing Justin, who’s been on his phone all night. “This is a good, mature party that adults would throw?”
“Oh boy, I’m not drunk enough for this.”
“Go take one of Maggie’s,” Tony says, pouting. “She hasn’t drunk any of the champagne all night. Do you think she doesn’t like the brand? It was expensive.”
“Maggie isn’t drinking, and you think that’s because she doesn’t like the champagne?” Clint asks slowly. He shakes his head. “Sometimes, I forget you’re only twenty-one.”
Tony brightens up immediately. “Oh good, that means you think I act older, right?”
“Where’s Steve and Natasha when I need them?” he sighs.
“They’re talking to Pepper about her internship at SI. Why?” He eyes Clint warily. “What crisis do you have that you can’t solve on your own?”
“Uh, how about the fact that you’ve got it in your head that you have to act like an incredibly serious law student who only wears dark colors so that your boyfriend likes you? Which, I’ve got news for you, kiddo. If you have to change everything about yourself to make them like you, they don’t like you, and you’re better off without them.”
“I’m not changing everything!” Tony protests.
“Tony, you’re not a serious person, and we love that about you!”
“I can be serious! Haven’t you listened to my songs?”
Clint gives him a flat look. “Tony. You rhymed ‘actress’ with ‘mattress.’”
He crosses his arms, sulking. “I thought that was clever.”
Clint sighs and runs his fingers through Tony’s hair, smoothing out the tangled curls. “Okay, look, I’m gonna give you some wisdom that took me a long time to learn. Hopefully, you’ll get it through your head faster than I did. If—”
“Attention, everyone!” Scott calls, clinking his glass so hard it cracks. He immediately puts the glass down, patting it reassuringly. Tony winces but obediently turns his attention towards Scott and his wife. “We were going to wait until announcing this, but we’ve been getting some questions, so! Maggie and I have an announcement to make! I’m retiring!”
“What?” the entire band exclaims. Natasha retiring is old news at this point, and at least she’d given them an entire year’s warning. For Scott to suddenly decide to retire too—it just feels like everyone’s leaving, even though it’s only two people.
“Yep, yep,” Scott says, grinning way too much for such sad news. Tony narrows his eyes suspiciously. He’s up to something. “Tony, I have loved working for you; I really think you’re going to go far, but we can all see the direction you’re taking your new album in, and something tells me you don’t need a fulltime banjo player. And now, you know—” He shoots Maggie a conspiratorial grin—“with the baby on the way…”
It takes a moment for that to filter through everyone’s minds. But when it does? Tony would have thought the house exploded if he’d been standing out on the street. Everyone crowds around the two of them, loudly exclaiming their congratulations and wishing the two of them all the best as they become parents, holy shit, that’s so amazing. He can hardly believe it.
They almost miss the countdown, they’re all so excited for Scott and Maggie (and somehow Paxton features into it too? Tony doesn’t know how, but he’s standing with the two of them like he contributed to it, so he makes sure to congratulate him too). But someone hears the countdown on the TV and starts shouting the numbers and then everyone is shouting along, moving together in one amorphous blob.
And then it’s New Year’s, and Pepper is swooping in to kiss him on the cheek, and Rhodey is planting a big ol’ wet one on him because he has zero shame when he’s had too much champagne to drink, and somehow, in all the commotion, Tony forgets to look for Justin for a proper New Year’s kiss, but then again…
Justin doesn’t come find him either.
The last night of the tour is in Auckland. They’d kicked off the Oceania leg at the beginning of the month, and now they’re already at the end of the entire tour. It feels like it’s flown by. The album hasn’t even been out for a year, but the tour is already over. Tony can hardly believe it. He’s looking forward to having some downtime though and focusing on his life with Justin. Things are hard sometimes—they’ve already broken up another two times and gotten back together afterwards—but he’s sure that most of that is because they’re not in the same location as often. It’ll be fine. For now, he wants to focus his entire attention on making tonight the best show he can.
After the concert the previous night, Tony had found out that some people were panicking because they’d been tracking his outfits and realized that he has no more unique combinations. He’d grinned at the deep maroon ballgown hanging up in his dressing room, set aside for the last night, and thought that they had no idea what was coming.
He emerges from the lift, smiling to himself at the shocked gasps as his fans realize that he had one last outfit in store for them. It really is an incredibly beautiful ballgown. Giancarlo had done a truly incredible job pulling this one together when Tony finally contacted him with his thoughts after meeting Justin.
He’s been thinking about love as a shade of red. About that flash in the pan, wildfire moment when things come together so perfectly. And when he’d gone to Giancarlo to say what color he wanted the last ballgown to be, that’s what he’d been thinking of.
Red.
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say, "Hello"
Little did I know
Jules and Jordan get him strapped into the suspended platform (made to look like a balcony, obviously, because what else would it be?), making sure that he won’t go anywhere. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Bianca and Tiana, paired with Zane and Zilong, gracefully suspended by their silks.
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you, "Please don't go," and I said
And then he’s lifting into the air, looking down at everyone. He waves to a small child in one of the first few rows, winks at a young alpha another couple of rows back.
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"
It’s always incredible, being this high up. Other than his journey back to the b-stage, this is the closest to his fans that he gets to be all show (and even then, when he’s going to the b-stage, he still only gets to see the people on the floor; up here, he can see everyone).
Down below him, he can see a couple getting engaged. This song always brings out those emotions in people. Something about the magical mysticism of Romeo and Juliet makes people want to get down on one knee and propose to the love of their life. He hopes that one day, he gets a proposal as magical as that.
Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"
Justin had told him on their second date that if they were just as compatible in bed as they were everywhere else, he could easily imagine getting married in just a few years. They’ve had their rough patches, obviously, Tony won’t deny that, but he thinks that maybe a proposal as magical as the ones he sees during Love Story aren’t too far behind.
But I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town and I said
"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think"
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, and said
Confetti shoots from the cannons, a celebration of the show and the tour and everything that Speak Now has come to mean to so many people.
"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say 'Yes'"
The suspended balcony comes back to the stage, fireworks setting off behind him, lighting up the sky in red and gold, just like they did at the beginning of the show. Tony steps off the platform and makes his way back to the main stage, turning around to finish the outro loud and strong.
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you
The guitars keep playing as Tony hurries up the stairs to the top platform. The dancers from Love Story walk out onto the t-stage to take their bows, followed by the rest of the dancers. The violinists are next and then Natasha and Shang-Chi. Steve and Clint together, still playing their guitars, then Bruce and Scott, also still playing. Everyone together indicates Thor on the drums and then Sharon on the keyboard. Tony blows kisses to both of them.
Then it’s his turn.
He takes his first bow from the platform, unable to stop himself from beaming at how much louder his fans get for him. He hurries back down the stairs and out to the t-stage to join the rest of his team, Natasha on his right and Steve on his left. They wave and mouth I love yous and give high fives to anyone holding out their hands as they all head back together to the main stage.
Together, they clasp hands.
Together, they bow.
And together, they stand there, united, as the curtain falls.