Chapter Text
Nagi.
i.
“Would it be so bad for you to tell him why you did everything you did? To tell him the reason why you went and dedicated yourself to this courting card thing?” Zantetsu adjusts his glasses and frowning, adds. “Mikage Reo adores you.”
Nagi looks down, and sprawls over his study table. He feels like shit. “He has a boyfriend now.” His words come out muffled.
Reo has a boyfriend.
Reo has a boyfriend now. And they kiss and do what boyfriends do. And Nagi doesn’t want to think too hard about what a loving couple does in their free time.
Nagi doesn’t want to think about Reo for now.
“I don't get it,” The son of Japan's top dentists, looks suspiciously at the books on his study table. “Well, that's nothing new though.”
Nagi half-raises his head. Zantetsu is a nice guy. One of the few alphas Nagi tolerates for long periods of time. “What is it?”
“Ah well, I thought you guys were a couple since we were in high school.”
And wouldn’t that have been nice?
Nagi's alpha whines sadly. His alpha side has been unbearable lately.
“No.” Nagi sighs long and hard, burying his head in his books again. “We weren't.”
---
Nagi doesn’t think he can make it alone.
All he has wanted since he was very young is to see Reo happy. To see Reo fulfill his dreams, and to accompany him in doing so.
This new reality. Nagi on his own.
Is a hassle.
Before Reo, Nagi didn't mind the loneliness. His parents were never very attached, always letting him make his own decisions and live alone.
After Reo that feels like another life. Like another Nagi.
The popular, pretty, perfect, smart, millionaire boy -- Nagi has seen all his sides but to him, Reo he is more than that. The boy with purple hair and a huge smile who painted his world of whites and grays with a huge splash of color.
Nagi stirs in his bed and sees the empty walls of his university dorm room, and it just reminds him of his high school days when Reo used to tell him that his room was more like a cell than a home.
He has not improved in the aspect of decorating interiors. His walls are white, simple and not very personalized. Reo would be aggrieved to see that. Nagi misses him. Nagi misses him a lot.
The black courting card seems to be laughing at him in the bottom of his dresser drawer.
Nagi closes his eyes and tries to remember better times.
It is very rare for him not to be able to sleep.
So, as he stirs again trying to find a comfortable place to rest, he remembers, remembers the many times he fell asleep in Reo's arms with the purple-haired boy humming a lullaby in his ear.
---
Some days it gets easier.
But not really.
Nagi has counted the days since they parted. Sixty-eight days. It feels like more than that.
He wants Reo back.
He wants an easy, quiet life with Reo at his side.
Isagi and Bachira try to comfort him, every time, after soccer practice. The alpha, ever the optimist, has taken to giving him pineapple candy every time he sees him.
Nagi receives the candy and appreciates the intention. They are not his favorites but Bachira could not know that his favorites are the ones that Reo has always bought for him. Lemon tea flavor. Nagi doesn't even know what brand they are, only that Reo always had one to give him.
---
Lonely days talking to Choki have become routine.
Boredom has taken up permanent residence in his life.
Soccer has lost all its fun.
Nagi goes to class, goes to practice, comes back, sleeps, plays the new game that has been eating his attention lately, studies half-heartedly for his historian degree, sleeps some more, reads a manga and sleeps again to repeat it all the next day.
Nowadays, it weighs on him to live.
Without Reo, without all the promises they have made together, it all seems meaningless to Nagi.
ii.
Nagi does not intend to this so or so he says to himself. The truth is that he does. His alpha demands it and his heart protests that Reo belongs to him. He wants him back.
That is not good.
Maybe is not the best for the purple haired boy but, Nagi is an egoist like all the other boys in his soccer team; is only that his egoism is of a different brand.
Nagi can't (won't) do anything without the beta.
One of his teachers once explained the term codependency. He finds it quite apt regarding his situation and yet he doesn't give a damn.
Nagi sees him from a distance.
He watches him and waits.
He's been doing it for a week. It's not his finest hour. He's not proud of it. It gives him a little cringe. But he can’t help it.
Reo looks good.
Maybe a little thinner. He has changed the way he styles his bangs and has let his hair grow a few inches. His smiles are few and far between and his boyfriend who seems to follow him everywhere with fervor is an entitled jerk.
Reo could do so much better.
Nagi doesn't like violence but would have no problem with a little boyfriend bashing.
The boyfriend touches Reo’s face. He kisses his cheek, and hugs him tenderly. Nagi hates him.
It makes his alpha sick and yet he continues to see. Hoping.
He's always been good at it, at seeing the beta without Reo noticing.
His chance comes one afternoon when Reo is finally alone, plugging in his laptop and grabbing a table to study in the most popular library on campus.
Nagi thinks if not now, then it will never happen.
He walks over and sits in the chair opposite. Like this, they face each other.
Reo looks up, and when he sees him, his beautiful purple eyes widen in surprise.
"What do you want?" He is curt and unfriendly.
"Even video games aren't this much fun now." His tone is monotone but sincere.
Reo frowns. "That has nothing to do with me."
It does have to do with him. When it's about Nagi it always does have to do with Reo.
"It's no good." Nagi scratches his neck uncomfortably. It's hard to put his feelings into words but if he doesn't Reo won't come back. Spring will be stuck in the past and winter will reign unrelenting. "I need you."
Reo looks at him in disbelief. "I don't know what you want Nagi, but I don't care." He stands up, begins to gather his things.
This time Nagi can't help but frown. "Please."
That seems to stop Reo's attempt to leave. He waits and listens even though he is not happy to do so.
And Nagi with many feelings crowding in his chest struggling to get out without much success, says the most obvious one of all. "I can't live without you."
His heart, will wither without Reo by his side.
Nagi swallows hard and looks him straight in the eye. “It's no good without you. I need you.”
Reo frowns, there is agony in his gaze. “You made your choices, that has nothing to do with me, so don't use my feelings to manipulate me.”
Nagi shakes his head. He pulls out his wallet and takes out the black courtship card. “Everything I did was so we could be together.”
Reo sits down again. His gaze wavers looking down at the laminated black card, and his lips quiver. “Explain yourself Nagi.”
Nagi hands him the courting card. “I just wanted to win one of these and be with you. I thought that by having it, you would accept me as your alpha and we could finally get married.”
“Really?” Reo sounds so small, Nagi’s heart aches.
“Yeah.”
The purple-haired beta tries to hold back tears. “What about Isagi?”
Nagi frowns. He doesn't understand Reo's problem with the omega but tries to explain as best he can. “Isagi has a courting card and helped me and other alphas get one. Reo, Isagi helped me get the card so I could be with you. He and his alpha are good people. They fatigue me quite a bit but it would be bad manners to complain about that to them, wouldn't it?”
Reo seems to understand what he is telling, but he still looks close to tears anyway. "You aren't in love with him?"
"No." Nagi stares at him and speaks the truth. He does not like the omega that way. Isagi and Bachira are his friends. “Reo?”
“You've grown a lot in my absence.” Reo covers his eyes with the palm of his hand and takes a few seconds to compose himself.
Nagi hovers close but doesn’t dare to touch him just yet. “Reo?”
Reo lowers his hand and blinks several times, trying to wipe away his tears. “So, you want me?”
Nagi nods. “Will you accept my formal marriage proposal?”
Reo takes a deep breath, gets out of his chair, and approaches him until they end up in a tight embrace. “Yes.”
“What about your jerk boyfriend?”
Nagi pulls Reo tighter into his arms. He won't share a minute of Reo's attention with anyone else.
“Oh,” Reo grabs his gray hoodie and doesn't let him go. “We broke up a day ago.”
Nagi wants to ask why, but assumes it's not that important. “What do you want to do now?”
“Just let’s stay like this a little longer, treasure.”
Nagi rubs against Reo's neck, trying to reestablish his ownership, erasing the jerk alpha boyfriend's trace. His inner alpha is finally pleased. “Yes boss.”
Reo
i.
They have been hugging each other all afternoon. Reo finds it quite unbelievable and yet here they are, in Nagi's personality-less room. In his bed, cuddling, and watching a movie in Reo’s laptop, without really watching it.
Reo has a ring on his finger now. Nagi’s ring. He still can't believe it.
Maybe he is dreaming.
Perhaps he is dreaming, and when he wakes up, he will realize that everything he has always wanted has vanished like the morning mist.
Nagi presses pause, stirs and hugs him tighter. “Don't think about it.”
“Nagi?”
“Just put your attention on me.” Nagi tells him petulantly and Reo feels his heart skip a beat.
The kiss when it comes catches him off guard. It's just a soft brush of lips against lips. It's their first kiss, and it sends an electric shock through his whole body, from the base of his head to his toes.
Nagi kisses him again and again, in his lips and in his face, in small intervals, short, chaste kisses. When they pull apart Nagi finally asks him. “Hey Reo, where else did he kiss you?”
Reo is red as a tomato, he is having a hard time assimilating this forward version of Nagi.
Yes, they kissed a little and one time specifically Reo allowed his previous boyfriend a little kissing on the neck and caressing on the torso but then asked him to stop. He couldn’t do it. He couldn't force himself to have sex with someone he didn't love just out of spite.
Reo doesn’t think Nagi need to know all this.
“Just the neck.” He says soft.
The white-haired boy seems to study his face carefully and after a few seconds nods. He opens his button-down shirt a little and kisses his neck without leaving any skin untouched. Reo trembles in his embrace and lets Nagi do what he wants.
After a few minutes, Nagi finally stops kissing him. “I'm tired.” He admits sleepily.
Reo nods sympathetically and they both switch positions, removing the laptop, and this time with Reo letting Nagi rest on his chest, still hugging.
Reo wants to concentrate on this feeling and remain in this happiness forever. He raises his right hand and begins to stroke the soft locks of white hair. Nagi nuzzles against Reo's chest and murmurs just before he falls completely asleep. “Hey Reo, hum me a lullaby.”
And Reo, as in love as ever, does.
*
Sleep, pretty darling, do not cry,
And I will sing a lullaby.