Chapter Text
TO LOVE AND BE LOVED.
Up to this day, Charles would surely answer Bry’s name if you ask him what love is.
He’s certain that he will always have him every step of the way. May it be in making silly little decisions like what color of shirt to wear tomorrow to big decisions like adopting a child.
It has been his dream to raise a kid of his own, he won’t deny that.
But falling in love with Bry opened the thousand capabilities of being a ‘parent’ in general. Walang naging panghihinayang na sumagi sa isip niya na hindi siya magkakaroon ng sariling anak dahil hindi niya kayang gawin ‘iyon’ sa iba after Bry. Even before him, actually.
They are each other’s first— kiss, relationship, and everything.
Hindi na rin niya ginusto ang ideya ng surrogation dahil if half of the child will not be part of Bry, then Charles would not want to. If that even made sense because in his defense, Bry’s truly insecure for not being able to carry a child.
He does not want to add more by insisting on the ‘process’ that might hurt his husband silently.
..and then Nathan came.
He knew right there and then, from the moment they saw him that it’s gonna be an adventure.
Nathan may not be a flesh of their flesh, nor a bone of their bone but still he is undeniably their own. He may not have their eyes, or he may not have their smiles but he would always, always have their hearts. It was a God-given family that Charles would forever treasure.
That’s why he promised that he will be present at all times.
It’s the least thing he could do because he will admit that in terms of providing for their family, it’s Bry who shoulder it the most.
“You should not think like that, tanga ka ba?” Kenny sarcastically said as he scoffed.
Napailing lang si Charles. “Totoo naman. Kita mo nga, nag-OT pa siya ngayon.”
“Na hindi naman kailangan. Sabi ko sa’yo Charles ha kausapin mo ‘yang si Bryan at hindi na healthy ‘yung pagtatrabaho niya, ang dami na niyang nami-miss na moments ng anak niyo.”
Charles wanted to agree on that but he’s still holding on with Bry’s word that all of this will come to an end after his promotion. Iyon lang naman ang pinagta-trabahuhan nito nang todo kaya ito laging wala. Siya na munang bahalang mag-explain sa anak nila at kaya niya pa naman.
He misses him, sure but that can wait. Umuuwi pa rin naman ito sa kanila at ayaw na makadagdag ni Charles sa pagod ng asawa.
“Daddy, kailan po uuwi si Dada?” six-year old Nathan asked.
First day nito as a Kindergarten student. Bry was supposed to come but again , he missed it because of work.
Kahit si Charles ay gusto na ring magtampo pero iintindihin niya.
“Later po bago tayo mag-sleep,” sagot niya saka kinalong ang anak. “Konting wait na lang anak, lagi na nating makakasama si Dada.”
Hindi na rin siya sigurado kung sino pa ang kinukumbinsi niya; kung anak pa ba nila o ang sarili niya na dahil lumipas pa ang mga araw, linggo at buwan pero hindi pa rin nagbago si Bryan.
Mas nawalan ito ng oras nung na-promote ito. Kabi-kabilaan ang trabaho at kung saan-saan pa ito nade-destino. Minsan may higit tatlong araw itong hindi umuuwi pero ayos lang, kasi nangangako ito na pagkatapos ay magli-leave ito ng isang linggo para magka-family week sila.
Family week. Hindi lang isang araw.
Excited si Charles hindi lang para sa anak niya kundi dahil natapat pa iyon sa Anniversary nilang mag-asawa kaya naghanda talaga siya. Marami na silang plano ni Nathan kung paano sosorpresahin si Bry at ang isa talaga sa plano nila ay pagpahingahin lang ito.
But you know how things will not happen if the person involved does not really want it to happen?
For Bry, it was a divine intervention. But to Charles and Nathan, it is yet again, another broken promise.
Nauna na kasi sila, eh. Susunod raw si Bry pero hindi naman ito dumating. Kita niya ang disappointment sa mukha ng bata pero pinili nitong mag-enjoy na lang kahit silang dalawa lang ang magkasama. Hindi na rin nito binanggit si Bry buong linggo na iyon at iyon din ang isa sa mga kinakatakot niya.
Slowly, their kid is being detached from Bry.
Uulitin niya, maiintindihan niya ang demand ng trabaho ni Bry kung siya lang pero hindi si Nathan. Ang bata bata pa nito at hindi magandang pinapangakuan ang mga bata tapos hindi tinutupad dahil natatandaan nila iyon. Nalulungkot sila ro’n lalo na sa case ni Nathan.
Kahit hindi nito sabihin, ramdam naman ni Charles na kaya hindi ito namimilit o nagde-demand ng oras ng Dada nito dahil para dito, ampon lang ito.
Hindi alam ni Charles kung ilang beses niya pa dapat ipaliwanag sa anak nila na hindi lang naman nila ito basta inampon— dahil alam niyang mas magkakaroon ng sense lahat ng ito sa bata kung nandito lang si Bryan para ito ang kumausap at magpaliwanag din sa anak nila.
Ramdam niya. Mas hinahanap ni Nathan si Bry lagi kahit siya ang kasama pero anong magagawa niya? Siya rin naman ay naghahanap sa asawa at the least thing he could to do is to be present on his behalf.
As Nathan grows up, Bry’s work responsibility becomes too much to handle.
He reminded him gently. To another reminder and more.
Hanggang sa nagalit na ito isang beses. Na nasundan nang nasundan na parang wala na itong ibang ginawa kundi magalit na lang.
Nung mga panahon na ‘yon, hindi na alam ni Charles ang gagawin dahil malapit nang mawala sa kanya ang lahat.
He’s not performing well in his work due to lots of absence and tardiness.
All because he wanted to be a present parent to their son and there’s no regret in that but as they say, there’s always a consequence to one’s action that’s why Charles is now facing his.
He resigned.
Without Bry’s knowledge because if you will ask Charles, Bry just really stopped caring about him.
While success has been running for Bry the past years, Charles was lost. He only found failures after failures and he had no husband to run to.
He struggled as he only has little and he doesn’t want to ask Bry for much.
Hindi pa sila okay kaya kailangan niyang lutasin ‘tong problema niya nang mag-isa.
“Eh para saan pa’t mag-asawa kayo at nagsasama sa isang bahay kung hindi rin naman pala kayo nag-uusap?” Kenny asked, frustrated about everything he just told him.
He shrugs. “Pagod lang si Bry. Kakausapin ko na lang kapag medyo okay na sa trabaho niya.”
“Tanginang trabaho ‘yan,” sabi nito saka sinamaan siya ng tingin. “Kausapin mo ‘yan, gago. Hindi na biro ‘tong nangyayari sa inyo ha. Twelve na si Nathan! Simula six years old ‘yung inaanak ko trabaho niya ‘yung rason niya tapos ngayon trabaho pa rin? Punyeta ipapamana ba sa kanya ‘yung kompanya, ha?”
Kenny said it again. Through the years, their friend has been reminding him to talk to Bryan but it was Charles who didn’t want to.
Kasi uuwi itong pagod na pagod na at ayaw niyang agawin ang oras na ‘yon para makapag pahinga ito kaya gusto niyang sa day-off na lang sana pero madalas, lumalabas ito kasama si Nathan. Hindi siya sinasama, o siguro mas mainam kung sasabihin niya na hindi man lang siya sinasabihan dahil paggising niya, wala na ang mga ito. Galit pa kapag nagtatanong lang naman siya kung saan ito nanggaling.
Siguro isang rason kung bakit ayaw niyang kausapin din nang masisinsinan si Bryan dahil nahihiya siya. Kasi ang layo-layo na ng narating nito samantalang siya, naiwan siya dahil parang hindi naman siya sinama nito sa mga pangarap, eh. Isang bagay pa na ayaw gawin ni Charles ay lasunin ang sariling utak dahil as much as possible, he wants to give his husband the benefit of the doubt. Lahat ibibigay niya.
But a person can only take so much.
He was just hired at his new job. It’s demanding so much time and effort from him and for once, Charles just wanted to hustle. Baka mapansin din siya ni Bry kapag magkatulad na sila ng lebel kasi nanliliit na siya sa sarili niya.
Pero ilang linggo pa lang, napawi lahat ng plano niya dahil naalala niya, their life is not theirs alone. May Nathan sila na kailangan niyang gabayan, as Bry doesn’t seem to want to. O baka ginagawa naman din nito sa sarili nitong paraan pero ewan na lang din.
Charles was fed up with his reasons and he just found himself stopped trying.
Ang kanya lang, basta umayos si Bryan sa pakikitungo sa anak nila ay okay na siya. Hindi na siya mamimilit ng ‘kanila’ kasi mukhang wala na talaga pero ayos lang. Sanay naman siya.
Kaya lang matigas talaga si Bry, eh. Bumukod na ito ng kwarto. Walang sinabi, hindi na rin siya kinakausap. Nasa isang bahay pa sila sa lagay na ‘yon, ah.
That shit hurts like hell.
Napapagod na rin si Charles umintindi pero duwag kasi siya. Baka kapag may sinabi pa siya kay Bryan, baka umalis na ito sa bahay nila. Baka iwan na sila nito ni Nathan kaya ulit, magtitiis na lang siya. Basta nakikita niya pa rin itong umuuwi sa bahay nila.
That’s when he met his new co-workers. Young and happy go lucky people.
Charles knew that their habit is a bit bad but he had no choice. He needs to feel that somehow, he belongs somewhere in this world so he accepted every invite of grabbing a drink every weekend. One became two, three and you can tell him how many times it happened for months.
Hindi niya na rin alam at mukha kasing wala pa ring alam si Bry dahil madalas, weekends nito sinasama si Nathan at hindi siya sinasabihan. In his defense, if they can enjoy themselves without him, then might as well make the most out of his day too, instead of staying inside the house getting crazy about their situation.
But one thing, Charles was not aware that what they’re doing is that bad.
He still regrets accepting that invitation until now because if he only knew that it’s what it takes to completely ruin their family, Charles would not dare to do so. Not even once.
He would stay in their house with his son and husband, even though that means Bry is not talking to him.
Pero nangyari na ang lahat ng nangyari. Pinaniwalaan na ni Bryan lahat ng gusto nitong paniwalaan. Naghiwalay na sila, kahit hindi siya pumayag.
It was never a mutual decision because Charles didn’t remember agreeing on the separation, it was Bry who left them.
Kasi para sa kanya iyon, eh. Umalis lang ito bigla. Iniwan siya. Hindi man lang siya binigyan ng chance na makapagpaliwanag. Pero ano bang magagawa niya?
Wala.
Lalo na at sa kanya sumama si Nathan. Mas kailangan niyang maging magulang kaysa indahin ang sakit na iniwan siya ng asawa niya dahil mas mahirap ang sitwasyon ngayon. Hindi na bata si Nathan at nakakaintindi na ito, dapat ay mas maging maingat at handa siya sa mga sagot niya sa kung ano mang pwede nitong itanong.
Four years.
Pero ni isang beses, hindi nagtanong sa kanya ang anak kung bakit sila naghiwalay ni Bry.
Charles also tried hundreds of times to reach out and talk to Bryan but not even once he was able to talk to him about their relationship.
He only talks to him if it’s about Nathan. He will drop the call if he’s initiating ‘that’ talk or he will just stop replying after knowing what he wanted to know about their son.
It was that bad.
But Charles didn’t complain. He was the one to blame here, right? He let the girl kiss him. He let his previous co-workers take control of him that night. It was all his damn fault.
“Alam mo, tangina mo rin eh.”
Gulat na napatingin siya kay Kenny nang bigla na lang siya nitong murahin. “Inaano na naman ba kita?”
Umirap ito saka uminom ng alak sa bote. “Kung kinausap mo lang kasi sana ‘yan si Bryan eh ‘di sana alam niyang hindi ka naman talaga nagloko. Ilang beses ko na sinabihan pero grabe sobrang sarado ng utak! Daig niya ‘yung pinto sa bahay ko!”
Charles can only sigh in response.
No, hindi sa hindi niya sinubukan. Kasi hindi lang daang beses niyang ginustong magpaliwanag pero wala, matigas talaga si Bry. At ang pinaka nakakalungkot pa ay ‘yung pinagpilitan at pinaniwalaan nitong nagloko siya.
Tangina naman.
Tatagal ba siya sa relasyon na hindi niya halos makita ito at mahawakan kung may balak siyang magloko? Magse-settle ba siya sa pagturing nito sa kanyang parang hangin kung hindi niya ito mahal? Mananatili ba siyang asawa kahit hindi man lang siya nito matingnan sa mga mata?
Kasi kung gano’n lang din, ang babaw-babaw pala ng tingin ni Bryan sa pagmamahal niya.
Ngayon pa talaga kung kailan umabot na sila ng isang dekada, ngayong may anak na sila at may pamilya na. Doon pa talaga naging sobrang sigurado si Bryan na magloloko pa siya na parang hindi siya nito kilala?
Iyon din. Galit si Charles sa parteng iyon pero dahil nga nasa kanya ‘yung sisi at lahat ng bintang kung bakit ganito ang pamilya nila, nilunok niya lahat ng galit na ‘yon. Kinalimutan niyang galit siya saka nawala na rin naman ng kusa dahil nga mahal niya ang asawa.
Doble pa sa pagmamahal niya kay Nathan, kung tutuusin.
Kaya sa hindi inaasahang mainit na tagpo noong gabing nagyaya ang anak nila ng hapunan, hindi alam ni Charles kung anong gagawin.
Umalis na si Nathan at gusto niya itong sundan.
Tumayo na rin siya.
“Charles, sandali!”
Napalingon siya kay Bryan. Punong-puno ng luha ang mga mata nito, pati ang buong mukha.
“Susundan ko si Nathan,” wala sa sariling sabi niya.
Umiling ito. “Hayaan muna natin siyang mag-isip.. kailangan niya ng space, Charles..” humikbi ito.
Nag-iinit pa rin ang sulok ng mga mata niya dahil hindi pa siya tapos umiyak pero hindi pwede. Kailangan niyang maging ama at mabuting asawa.
Umiling siya. “I already lost you, Bry. I can’t afford to lose our son, too. Mababaliw na ‘ko,” he said as he followed Nathan but the moment he heard Bry’s cry, he immediately stopped and turned his back…
…only to find himself hugging his crying husband as he whispered, “I’m here,” repeatedly.
Mas lumakas ang naging iyak ni Bryan nang makulong ito sa bisig niya. Ang tagal tagal na nung huli.
Charles gave in when he felt a pair of arms hugged him back. Parang ito lang din pala ‘yung kailangan niya.
In the middle of their unfamiliar dining room, with the uncontrollable sobs in the background and them hugging each other as they cry— one in silence and the other one is loud, Charles could only close his eyes and feel the moment.
It was never the ideal nor a beautiful scenario that he once pictured when he’s given the chance to hug his husband again but he’ll take it.
“Charles..” Bry sobs. “I’m sorry, Charles. I-I’m sorry.”
..and maybe, that’s all he needs for now.
Because amidst the tears that’s falling, lips shivering and his insides trembling, Charles wholeheartedly kisses Bryan’s forehead as he mumbled the words, “Tahan na, mahal. Nandito na ako.”
They say that healing comes through many forms. It may be something that’s really unexpected because no one told Charles that it could also be from the person who hurt you— the stillness and calm that his heart has been longing for was found right here, right now— inside Bryan’s embrace.
..and it was really, really peaceful.
———
FORTY-YEAR OLD Charles would have a different answer if you asked him if he would want to marry Bry at a young age.
Of course, the answer would still be “Yes” but not ‘that young’.
As life continues to show him what went wrong with everything that happened in their family, slowly, he’s beginning to understand why it happened that way.
However, there’s no excuse for being a bad parent as what they inflicted on their son’s childhood cannot be repaired by simple sorry nor a thousand apologies because he grew up with it. Nathan suffered a lot. He can’t even imagine how awful things were to him.
One thing he knew, he should’ve let Bry spread his wings first.
He should have let him explore first to broaden his horizon. That’s his only regret in marrying Bry at that young age.
They could have avoided all the things that happened— only if they were ready enough to make grown up decisions such as getting married and being a parent.
Maybe, they were just all over the place when they agreed to do it.
Maybe, it was the adrenaline rush that made them decide to have it.
Or maybe, they were just too in love with each other.
Too much love that destroys them along the way because they were not able to handle it properly.
Both of them have too much to give at first that it overflows. The other ran out and the other kept giving. Not to mention, it’s not only for the two of them.
They also entered the world of being a parent in which they should sustain more than what they are giving to each other.
They were not really ready, as painful as it was, Charles will admit that they were not ready when they decided on those things in one snap.
But he will not also deny the fact that in the process, he also gets to know the version of himself he’s not aware that he’s capable of being.
Like being a Dad, in particular.
Maybe, the age twenty-five is already an ideal age to raise a child. Maybe it really is, if you were also to start from the beginning, like having a new-born kid that you will shelter, as you also discover how to be a parent for the first time.
So again, as painful as it was, Charles and Bryan were not capable of being a parent at that age, especially of a five-year old kid. There’s so much to learn, so much to discover if only they didn’t rush.
But the Charles that he is right now is already mature enough to pick up the pieces and try again— even that means starting from the scratch, where it’s only him and Bry again with no regrets.
No Nathan, just him and his ‘husband’.
“When’s your flight pala?” Bry asks.
He shrugs. “Tomorrow night.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata nito. “Ang aga mo naman? Akala ko ba sa isang araw ka pa kasi sabay kayo ni Kenny?”
“Akala mo lang ‘yon,” Charles smirked. “I miss Nathan. Kailangan ko na siyang makita.”
Charles will not deny that his heart skipped a beat when he saw the sparkle in Bry’s eyes.
“Okay. Hintayin ka na lang namin,” sabi nito saka kinuha na ang bag na hawak niya. “Salamat ulit sa paghatid. Ingat ka tomorrow, sabihan mo na lang si Nathan.”
Tumango siya. “Safe skies. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow?”
Bry shyly smiled as he nodded. “See you.”
Ngumiti na lang din siya. “Sige na pumasok ka na. I’ll message Nathan na lang din na naihatid na kita.”
“Sige, mag-message na lang din ako kapag nakapag-board na ako. Thank you, Charles!” Bry beamed widely once more.
He nodded. “Bye.”
After waving each other goodbye, Charles turns his back but before he can even make his third step, he hears Bry call his name.
“Yes?” he asked as he faced him again.
He looks hesitant like a lost puppy— but he kinda seems happy? Ugh, Charles really needs to be better at explaining because it’s not good to do this.
“After this.. can you love me again?” Bry asked, as if it’s a normal question.
Charles smiled widely. “I never stopped.”
With that, as their eyes talk to each other, Charles turns his back again at the same time as Bry. Only this time, he’s sure that there’s something more meaningful that’s about to happen.
It’s been roughly three years since Nathan told them he wants to study abroad.
That was the most heartbreaking part of being a parent, seeing your kid go but Charles knows that it’s for the better.
Natatandaan niya na ayaw niyang pumayag, he’s ready to man up and make it up with Bry if that’s what will make their son stay but Kenny talked to him and Bry.
Unang beses iyon na nakausap sila ng kaibigan nila nang magkasama simula nung maghiwalay sila. Their friend explained why they should let their kid go.
For Nathan to grow and heal.
Charles can still remember how Bry wept that day. It was awful to see.
But eventually, maybe after a few months, they were able to compromise and let their child do what he wanted to.
And no— it was not an easy decision. It’s never easy to let someone go, especially if you want to keep them with you all the time.
Pero ang isang depinisyon ng pagmamahal ay pagpapalaya.
Pagpapalaya sa lahat ng sakit na naidulot nila kay Nathan sa maling pagmamahal na naipakita nila rito sa paglipas ng ilang taon.
Hindi naman nila papabayaan ang anak kahit malayo na ito. Hindi rin naman sila nito kakalimutan. Pamliya pa rin— na magpapagaling muna nang hindi magkakasama.
One thing he learned while healing is to be completely honest. Though he’s still learning, Charles can say that slowly, over the past years, he was able to communicate the things he wanted to say. The things that really bothers him— may it be from anywhere, or anyone who’s involved.
Kung tatanungin kung bakit ganito sila ni Bry?
Siguro ang tamang isagot ay nagpapaka “magulang” dahil hindi pa rin naman sila nagbabalikan bilang “mag-asawa.”
When they send their child off, Charles and Bry have been in touch with one another. He cannot really remember how it happened or who said something to who but it just happened naturally.
One day, he found himself in a group video call; him, Nathan and Bry.
Their communication has been more often when they were not together unlike before. They were able to spare at least 30 mins to 1 hour or more a day talking as a family. It was pure joy. It was really a moment.
Until it continues to something more— Nathan’s first Christmas and New Year alone in New Zealand supposedly but Charles and Bry found themselves booking a flight to spend the holidays with their son.
It happened again on Nathan’s birthday.
Bry went to visit Nathan on his birthday. Charles did the same on his birthday, too.
Parang kahit hindi sila magkakasama, mas nabubuo sila bilang pamilya. Ironic but it is what it is.
Malapit na gr-um-aduate ang anak nila.
Kung tatanungin si Charles kung anong estado ng puso niya ngayon, ang masasabi niya lang ay masaya siya.
Kasi lahat din ng nangyayari sa kanila ni Bry ngayon ay pinapangarap niya lang noon.
“Ano, nagbalikan na ba kayo?”
Umiling siya at ngumisi. “Kenny manahimik ka nga.”
“Arte mo,” sabi nito saka inirapan siya. “Ikakasal na lang kami’t lahat ni Yixing wala pa rin kayong ganap ni Bry? Pag-untugin ko kayo, eh!”
Natawa siya. “Hindi naman namin pinag-uusapan actually. Though kahapon tinanong niya ako kung pwede ko ba raw siyang mahalin ulit pagtapos ng lahat ng ‘to, ‘di ko lang sure kung alin ba ang gusto niyang tapusin—”
Nagulat pa siya dahil hinampas siya ng kaibigan.
“Anong sabi niya?!” Napatayo pa si Kenny at napalipat sa tabi niya. “Bryan asked what?!”
“In verbatim he asked me, ‘after this, can you love me again?’ Gano’n,” sagot niya habang hinihimas ang nasaktang braso.
“OMG kayo! Anong sinagot mo?!”
Charles’ was not able to hide his smile. “I told him I never stopped.”
“Ang landi!” tili nito. “My ghad! Ito na ba? Ito na ba ‘yon Charles?!”
He shrugs. “What’s meant to be will find its way, Ken.”
Because Charles also learned not to rush things.
He learned it the very hard way.
So if it’s meant to be that Bry will fall back in his arms, then maybe it’s another chance by the heavens to dream again and get their family back together.
Kasi kung tatanungin si Charles, gustong-gusto niya nang magbalikan sila ni Bryan dahil mukhang ayos naman na pero hindi niya mamadaliin.
‘Cause other than missing his husband, he also wants to give this to Nathan as a gift.
A complete family— the healed version.
So he will take all the time they need. He will not make any impulsive decision anymore. He will give and receive accordingly. He will love their family more.
And as to their marriage, he is very sure that it will not end up with separation again. Not when he and Bry are slowly and completely falling in love with each other again.
True to that, on their 19th anniversary, Charles found himself lying on his bed.. with Bryan in his arms, completely naked under the sheets.
Oh, what a wonderful journey of loving someone and being loved back.
———
FINALLY, HE’S BACK.
Four years.
Four long years of journey to figure his life out, to heal, to make the most out of life, to discover more, to grow, to learn, and most of all, to be a better person than he was yesterday.
It wasn’t easy but it became bearable, especially having his parents in every step of the way.
When Ninong Kenny offered him this scholarship, Nathan had no idea that it’s gonna be something wonderful for all he knew that time was to escape— from his parents, more specifically, to the pain they’re causing him.
What he was not prepared for is that accepting this opportunity will give him more than what he imagined.
Nagkaroon siya ng pag-aari sa sarili niya.
Nathan saw how big the world is. He can be everything. Anything. He can own something and he can definitely be something.
As he always says, one of his insecurity being an adopted child is knowing that everything he owns is just borrowed from his parents.
Wala siyang matatawag na sa kanya talaga kasi lahat naman ng meron siya ay binigay lang. Kahit hindi siya tinuring na “ampon” ng mga magulang niya ay nakatatak sa isip niya na ampon lang siya.
But living the life that he lived in the past four years proved to him that he’s more than what he thinks he is.
He’s not just an adopted child.
He’s not nobody.
He’s not weak.
He can be everything— especially when his parents, both of them became more present than ever.
Suddenly, he was enlightened.
He’s found. He’s loved. He’s free.
Nathan was sure he’s gonna celebrate the holidays and the special occasions alone for years, but his parents were there. On Christmas, New Year, his birthday.. he also got to celebrate his parent’s birthday with them.
Doon pa lang, panalong-panalo na siya sa buhay.
Kasi parang lahat ng naipong dasal niya nung bata siya, sinagot ni Lord sa apat na taong malayo siya sa mga magulang— na hindi niya sobrang naramdaman dahil lagi siyang pinupuntahan ng mga ito at lagi niya ring nakakausap through video call.
The thing with prayer is that sometimes, we thought it would remain unanswered because we’ve been uttering about it nonstop for years, watering it with tears all the time and somehow along the way, we grew tired of it.
We are the ones who forget about what we prayed for but the One who we said our prayers for never will. He will answer our prayer when we are ready and not when we are lonely.
Like in Nathan’s case, he was not aware that the tears his eyes shed for the past years when he was begging God to have a complete family watered his daily prayers— and it fully bloomed at the time he least expected it.
It was like having something you always wanted; only this time, you’re ready to receive the answer to your prayers wholeheartedly.
Nathan didn’t ask why his parents are doing what they are doing but he will never deny that he’s happy. Very.
Jam knows everything as they’re communication has been continuous. Of course, you cannot just abandon someone who is now your boyfriend, right? He’ll save the story some other time but yes, Nathan and Jam found love beyond all reason.
Grabe. Hindi na madetalye ni Nathan isa-isa ang nangyari sa buhay niya sa nakalipas na apat na taon pero sobrang daming blessings. Hindi niya mabilang.
Mas marami na ang mga panahong masaya siya kaysa malungkot siya.
Now he’s back where he belongs.
Nathan was surprised when his parents drove home— to their first house.
Medyo expected niya kasing baka sa condo lang ng Daddy niya or ni Dada siya muna tutuloy hanggang ma-settle niya lahat pero hindi. Umuwi sila sa bahay nila dati nung bata pa siya.
… and it feels home.
His parents are not saying anything but Nathan can see the look on their face. The happy smiles. The small giggles and their meaningful glances.
Something happened, he’s sure and he needs to know.
Wala naman siyang nababalitaang nagkabalikan na ang mga ito dahil hindi pa nagsasabi sa kanya…
Feeling strange about it— but good kind of strange because he’s feeling happy and excited, he messaged Jam and he replied immediately.
from: my constant ♡
Yay! Glad to know you’re home safe, my love! I miss you so much. Will see you tomorrow so get some really good rest because I’m gonna hug you so tight for soooo long!! ANDDD OMG!! Baka sila na ulit!!! Hindi malabo ‘yan lalo sa mga kwento mo sa ganaps these past few years hahaha but anyways, rest up na ha! Promise you’ll see me tomorrow. I love you so much today, too! Good night :)
Nathan and Jam exchanged a few more messages before they decided to finally sleep.
Pero nauuhaw na si Nathan kaya kumuha muna siya ng tubig sa baba. Pabalik na sana siya ng may marinig siyang parang may nag-uusap sa living room— only to see his parents whispering sweet nothings to each other. The little giggles and the suppressed laughters! It was a situation that he never imagined to see but Nathan just found himself stole a picture of the two as he catches his own breath with the sight.
“Teka lang naman!” nabulong ni Nathan sa sarili bago nagmamadaling bumalik sa kwarto niya habang hawak ang isang bottled water.
That night, instead of confronting or questioning them, Nathan found himself on bended knee, uttering a prayer of thanks for how far their family had come.
It was never a perfect story. But it was saved always, always by grace.
Truly, it’s sweeter this time.
How he wishes this kind of love and redemption for everyone— the one that will fall like manna from heaven.