Chapter Text
“what.”
Is she fucking serious, him a homosexual…and by the looks of it this is “common knowledge” among the table of idiots
“It all makes sense!”
“Don’t worry Bakubro we accept you for who you are, you’re still the manliest dude i know!”
”Who knew you swung that way, i guess that’s why you didn’t hold back against Uraraka”
Godammit he hates dealing with the mentally challenged, and not in a “oh i hate people with disabilities” way but people who were apparently in the the top hero class but can’t seem to use their brains as well
”What the hell i’m not gay???”
Everyone at the lunch table just gave him blank stares raising an eyebrow at him, the n Mina spoke up
”Blasty… there’s this river in Egypt…”
”Don’t you dare finish that i’ve had about enough of tik tok slang”
“Ok but seriously Bakugou were here to support you and it’s ok if you’re not ready to be out of the closet yet!”
Katsuki once again had to remind himself that he was a hero in training and was supposed to be nice, so he tried being as nice as possible
“Shitty hair and company i’m going whoop your ass in training and you best pray that we use quirks today, cause trust and believe these hands quirk or not will rip ya’ll apart.”
”Blastyyyy Just because we figured you out doesn’t mean you have to kill us, can’t you trust us with a secret”
Mina whines pouting
”Plus it makes sense for you to be a gay man, no straight guy has that good of a skincare routine, i’ve never seen you with acne once! and don’t even forget the eyeliner”
“That’s apart of my quirk dipshit! Nitroglycerin has moisturizing properties and fuck off about my eyeliner it’s just to fill the space in my mask”
Mina gasps and giggles thinking of a great rebuttal
”What’s so surprising Pinky”
”Here’s one you can’t deny! I’ve heard from a little birdie that girls would always confess to you and you’d never say yes! Ha! Can’t refute that!”
Fuck… Katsuki has a feeling the “little birdie” is green, stalkerish, and squeaky. Stupid fucking Deku telling all his business, Katsuki sends a glare his way from across the Cafeteria a chill running down Izuku spine as he turns to look at Katsuki looking worried
”Woah! did i make the Explosion murder god dynamight speechless?!”
”Can it chewed up bubble gum, i was only quiet cause no one plans a murder out loud…”
Kirishima and Kaminari give him a look
”Dude your so hardcore, it’s kinda scary…”
”Bakubro… that’s not super heroicccc”
Ughhhh god forbid he makes a sarcastic comment…, maybe he should consider letting his guard down a bit, only a smidge
”Bakubabeeee don’t kill me i’m too sexy die!”
”Not talking about you, talking about that fucking word vomiter Deku”
”Ooo romantic tension~ Blasty be easy on him!”
Romantic what now…
Roamntic with whom????
He fucking hopes she doesn’t mean the leech, Deku…
His clear disgust must’ve made a quest appearance on his face cause Mina laughs at him
“I’m just messing around! You’d probably eat him alive…, and i wish that was an exaggeration”
“Huh Bakubro and Midobro…”
”Ah, if that really did happen i’d hate to see them have a couple fight the dorms would be missing half the living room”
The idiots were talking about him and Deku in a- a ugh he’s gonna be sick Relationship.
Ew Ew Ew Ew! He feels icky!
God he feels like a teenage girl and the creepy weird kid keeps trying to sneak glances at her and talk to her
Like the whole idea is just… NO?!
Deku the little wretch, and him???
He unfortunately thinks of Deku as a younger annoying cousin or sibling and that a whole other thing he doesn’t want to get into either
But seriously he felt it was a bit obvious that Deku and Uraraka had some sort of thing going on, though he’d rather they stay friends or whatever because he swears if he has to hear any horrible attempts at flirting, sees them being all lovey dovey he might actually hurl
.
.
.
Ok but that sounds like he’s being a jealous girlfriend… or in the case boyfriend, he’s really gotta stop with this whole hating on everything persona cause it’s starting to get a little hard to defend
__________
Well after that whole lunch room fiasco and training (luck was unfortunately on his stupid friends side because they had quirk training so he had to hold back some) He decided to grab a quick snack before going to his room
He definitely had enough human interaction for the day…
But of course Katsuki and his world’s shittiest luck here comes Deku and Round face… holding hands shoulder to shoulder…
Please god, I usally hate begging but please tell my eyes are deceiving me
”Anyway Uraraka should we tell some of the others we’re you know dating… or we don’t have to whatever you want” Izuku said looking nervously blushing
”Hmm maybe we should take it slow and try to be a little under the radar? Ah! not that i’m embarrassed by you are anything it’s just i want it to just be us you know!”
Round face i have terrible news for you…
Fuckkkk He really had to stop being so nosey he keeps over hearing awkward conversations, then he’s responsible for keeping more secrets, and oh my fuck he’s already tired of keeping Shitty Deku’s secrets… maybe he try to sneak away from this conversation
Katsuki tries to sneak out of the kitchen his plate with apple slices and peanut butter on it and he inches towards the elevator, but as usual Izuku has a sixth sense for Katsuki…
“Ah! Oh hi there Kacchan nothing to see here!” Izuku’s voice cracks as he and Uraraka quickly let go of their intertwined hands looking in opposite directions blissfully unaware of the agony Katsuki’s in
What the shit, he was totally quiet he even did that embarrassing cartoon shit where you sneak on your tippy toes, dammit he doesn’t want to deal with Deku and more of his bullshit
Sigh… maybe he can just ignore him, yeahhh sounds effective enough
Katsuki flips the new couple off then continues his walk back to the elevator
Deku and Uraraka sigh in relief
“Ah. Well bye i guess Kacchan…”
”Ahhh! That was a close one i hope he didn’t hear anything…”
”Don’t worry we should be ok, i think…”
Wait a minute Izuku thinks to himself if Kacchan had a snack then that means he was in the kitchen, and Kacchan makes it back to the dorms first, since He and Uraraka decided to leave a bit earlier from class so they’d have time to talk, they arrived around the time Kacchan would’ve still been down here meaning… Oh no.. Kacchan knows their dating!
“What do you mean he knows were dating?!”
”Oh! Sorry i was mumbling out loud but yeah i think so!”
”Maybe he won’t say anything???”
Both He and Uraraka sigh but soon jump up hearing the rest of their classmates and pretend to talk about hero training
____________
Katsuki feels a sudden chill, ah fuck hopefully Deku’s annoying over analyzing ass doesn’t figure it out, cause god forbid he starts acting more weird than normal than fucking Mina will be on his ass again
Well at least he can relax for a bit, he’s already done his homework because why the fuck would anyone want to do homework at home when he could do it in school
Plus he had some research to do he was going to get to the bottom of this whole love thing, well at least the whole confession part anyway, he’s got youtube, a pretty yummy snack and his sanity…
ok maybe all of those aren’t the best combination to understand love more but fuck anyone who thinks their better than him just because their all sappy and shit
Now time to do get searching…
”Valentine’s day special, school confession compilation”???
”fuck it let’s get to work”