Chapter Text
Jiyan's head slumps into his palm. He lets out a weary sigh, struggling to keep his eyes open. Various papers are scattered haphazardly across his desk, a chaotic reminder of all the work he has left to do. A glance at the clock tells him that it's a little past one in the morning. He hadn't even realised how late it had gotten.
His eyes return to his paperwork, and he sucks in a breath. The sheer volume of things awaiting him is suffocating. A part of him wants to push through, to stay awake and finish it all, but he knows he shouldn't. Lihua had already checked in on him earlier, voice laced with concern. He assured her that he'd head to bed soon, however that must have been over an hour ago.
He begins to organize and sort his paperwork into separate neat piles. He forces himself to call it a night and stands up. He'll finish it tomorrow—or well, later today would be a more accurate description.
The halls are eerily quiet as he walks. Earlier, he had told the maids to go to bed and not wait for him, leaving the halls completely empty. His footsteps echo faintly in the hallways until he spots a small figure up ahead in the corridor. Jiyan stops. For a moment, his heart leaps—an intruder? Then he notices the swaying fluffy tail attached to the figure.
It's just Lingyang.
Jiyan exhales as relief washes over him. He let his hand fall against his side. He'd been ready to unsheathe it in case the figure had chosen to attack. Fortunately, that was not the case.
Lingyang notices him and rushes over—careful to not make too much noise with his steps. His hair is mussed, sticking up in places like he just rolled out of bed. Almost like he didn't even bother to check himself in a mirror. It's cute, Jiyan thinks idly.
“Ge-Jiyan,” Linyang greets him, almost slipping up and calling him ‘General’. “Do you know where the bathroom is? One of the maids told me yesterday, but with all these rooms, I've completely forgotten which is which…”
Jiyan chuckles. The house is in fact confusing at first—even he got lost plenty of times when he first moved in. As time passed, he became used to the place, being able to get around even in the dark.
“I understand. Come on, I'll show you.” He turns, walking back the way Lingyang came.
“Oh, I was completely off,” Lingyang laughs, trailing after him. “And thank you. You were heading to bed, weren't you?”
Jiyan hums in affirmation.
“Sorry for keeping you up. I couldn't find any of the maids,” Lingyang says, voice tinged with guilt.
“They're already asleep,” Jiyan replies, glancing over his shoulder to catch Lingyang’s expression. “I don’t like having them awake in the middle of the night. And it's fine—I'd be a poor host to leave you wandering around alone in the dark.”
Lingyang laughs again before pushing a hand to his lips in an attempt to muffle the sound, most likely to not wake up anyone else in the house. That's one thing Jiyan has noticed about him, he's extremely considerate towards others. It's nice to see, some of the soldiers struggle with it yet here Lingyang is doing it without even realising.
“Here,” Jiyan gestures to a door.
“Thank you! Fare thee well, Jiyan. Sleep tight.”
“Mhm, you too,” he smiles, waving goodbye as he heads towards his own bedroom. He knows he won't sleep well tonight though.
——
“General?”
Jiyan opens his eyes at the voice that awoke him, it's Lihua, he registers. He rubs at his eyelids lightly, adjusting to the light in the room originating from the large windows. He's always enjoyed the bright sun. Unfortunately at the front lines, they don't get the time to enjoy it fully.
“Morning already?” he asks, already knowing the answer.
“Yes, it is. You wanted me to wake you up at six,” Lihua replies as he sits up in his bed.
“Right, I see,” he nods, “thank you, Lihua. I'll be up in a minute.’
“Would you like me to wake up Lingyang as well?”
Ah, Lingyang. Jiyan momentarily forgot about him. Lihua’s offer floats in his mind, It's not often he has guests, and he's still not really sure what the appropriate thing would be to do here. It must be waking him up? Right? Lingyang seems like a person who enjoys eating with others.
“Sure, ask him if he'd like to have breakfast. It's his choice,” Jiyan instructs. He doesn't want Lingyang to feel forced into eating with him.
“Of course, General. Breakfast will be ready in a bit,” Lihua nods before walking out and closing the door behind her.
Once the door shuts, he sighs deeply. It's exhausting just thinking about the amount of things he has to do today, one of those things being meeting with Madam magistrate.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he gets up. Getting ready for the day is more important than dwelling on the future.
The expensive fabric of the clothes feels nice on his skin, the metal feeling cold instead but still pleasant.
Four or so maids are in the hall outside of his room as he steps out. They all greet him with sweet smiles, though none of them are quite like Lingyang's—the one he gives during his performances, that makes his dimples appear, appearing alongside the bright blush on his cheeks.
Jiyan is awoken from his thoughts when Lihua greets him again. He glances at the table and sees the same boy he was thinking of a second ago.
“Jiyan! Good morning!” he waves, lips curved into a smile.
“Morning,” Jiyan replies, settling into the chair next to Lingyang. “Did you sleep well?”
“Mhm, in fact, I think that's the best sleep I've had in a while!” Lingyang chirps. He starts spreading butter on a piece of cut loaf, albeit hesitantly, like he's unsure if he's allowed to. “And thank you, again, it was really kind of you to let me stay here.”
“It's no problem, I enjoy the company,” Jiyan curtly responds. He cuts a piece of bread for himself, Lingyang hands the butter-knife over to him before continuing to speak.
“Aren't the maids company as well?”
“It’s different. They work for me, you don't,” he explains with a shake of his head.
“I see…”
“That performance of yours is today, isn't it?” Jiyan questions, quick to change the subject.
“Oh, yes! Ah- I'm okay enough to perform right?” he asks, mouth full of bread. Jiyan suppresses a smile at the sight.
“If you aren't planning to fall again, then yes, you'll be fine,” he answers, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he did so.
“Right,” Lingyang grins with that bright smile of his, the same one Jiyan adores.
He wishes he could see that smile everyday—no, he wishes he could see Linyang everyday. Jiyan knows it's irrational, Lingyang has a life outside of what he sees but that doesn't make the feelings any less real. He wants to keep him close, he wants to hear his chatter during breakfast, he wants to see him perform more. That’s what Jiyan wants, but he knows it won’t happen.
Fortunately, breakfast passed without casualties. Lingyang—once again—was the one that spoke the most, but Jiyan likes it that way.
“Anything planned for today? Other than the show?” Jiyan asks after Lingyang finished chewing, partially hoping for him to say no.
“Hmm.” Lingyang puts his hand up to his chin in a thinking motion. “Just rehearsals for later today. You're free to attend those since last time…”
“Since I didn't get to see the whole performance last time, yes I remember,” he finishes for him. Jiyan gets up and gestures to Lingyang to follow him.“I’m rather busy today but I’ll see what I can do.”
“You don’t have to,” he waves his hands in front of him, shaking his head. “But, if you do have the time, I’d be very grateful to have you as a part of my audience,” Lingyang continues.
“Of course. See you then, Lingyang,” he nods. Jiyan finds himself smiling at the suan'ni before he opens the large front door for him.
Lingyang cheeks redden slightly. “Thank you. Fare thee well, Jiyan, blessings swell,” he bows slightly, heading out the door a second later with a wave.
Jiyan waves back. It hurt to see him go, but it’s not like Jiyan can keep him forever.
——
The words on the screen blur together as Jiyan looks them over again. He sighs, closing his eyes and tilting his head back towards the ceiling and closing his eyes. Dragging his hands over his face, he plants his elbows tiredly on the desk with a low groan.
Paperwork had never been a problem for him—until now. Lately, he’s barely been able to focus, his mind constantly drifting off to a specific someone, again and again. Jiyan spares a glance at the screen only to sigh louder and drop his forehead onto the office desk.
He’s too far gone, and he knows it. His feelings towards Lingyang started off as a harmless, small crush when Jiyan witnessed him perform for the first time. After getting to know him, his feelings seem to go deeper than just a simple crush.
His gaze flickers to the clock, it's been six hours since Lingyang left. Just six hours, and Jiyan is already falling apart. Pathetic, he thinks to himself.
With a harsh scrape to the floor, he pushes himself away from the desk and stands. He quickly organizes the scattered papers somewhat neatly and shuts off the screen before heading out of his office that he spends too much time holed up in.
As he descends down the stairs, Lihua spots him from the living room. She puts down her duster and meets him at the bottom.
“Paperwork finished?” she questions with a tilt of her head—a gesture that reminds him far too much of Lingyang.
Jiyan hesitates before nodding. “Something like that.” He wasn't. He still had a mountain of paperwork that needed to be signed and written. Jiyan isn’t sure why he even left, he should be up in his office, but he can’t get himself to go and sit back in that chair.
“I see,” Lihua responds, giving him a knowing look. “Heading out?”
He looks over to his right, at the grand front door. Is he?
“Yeah,” he answers after an awkward moment of silence. “I think I need some fresh air.” Hopefully it’ll help him get his thoughts together.
She nods, a small, understanding smile tugging at her lips. “Alright. Anything specific you’d like for dinner tonight?”
Ah, dinner. It almost slipped his mind. Now that Jiyan thinks about it, the last time he ate was during breakfast with Lingyang. Six hours ago.
“Anything’s fine,” he says, shaking his head. “Farewell.”
He steps outside, just barely catching Lihua’s goodbye. In hindsight, he should’ve told her he hasn’t eaten for hours. He knows Lihua and the other maids would gladly cook something on the spot, but for some reason he couldn’t get himself to tell her anyway. Maybe he’ll pass by some open food stalls.
Jinan’s legs take him forward with no real destination in mind. Except they do have one, he just doesn’t realise it until he’s standing in front of the theater. The stage is mostly empty, save for a few poles. No one is performing at the moment, but he can hear the chitter chatter of people from behind it.
Lingyang mentioned earlier he had rehearsals today, but didn’t specify a time. Is Jiyan too late?
“Ah, Jiyan! There you are! I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up,” Lingyang’s voice greets him on his left. “Not that it's a bad thing! I completely understand that you're really busy,” he frantically explains himself.
“I am, but that doesn't mean I don’t have time for a break once in a while.” Jiyan decides to not mention the fact that he almost forgot about attending the rehearsals.
Lingyang brightens. “I’m glad! Taking time to relax is important. Anyway, you’re just in time—this will be my last rehearsal for today!”
“Ah, perfect timing then,” he smiles warmly.
“Yup! C'mon,” Lingyang exclaims, grabbing his hand without hesitation. “Let's find a good spot for you to sit!”
Jiyan lets himself get pulled along, his heart thudding a little too fast. He leads him to a table with two chairs near the front before rushing off, leaving Jiyan to sit down and wait.
Leaning back in the chair, he can’t help but smile. Lingyang enthusiasm warmed his heart. He briefly entertains the ridiculous thought to donate a fortune to the theater—just for Lingyang. But Jiyan knows dumping money impulsively like that would be irresponsible.
Occasional donations, however… that wouldn’t hurt.
“General Jiyan, are you here for Lingyang's performance as well?” A voice speaks up from beside him. He turns to find Verina. Her smile is hesitant, most likely put off by the general sitting among them so casually.
“Ah, Verina. Have you been well?”
“Mhm! What about you?” she replies, tone cheerful.
“I’ve been alright. Feel free to sit down,” he says, gesturing to the chair across from him. She nods politely and sits down; as she settles Jiyan notices her feet don’t even reach the ground.
The theater comes to life after Lingyang and the crew finish setting up the poles. Music swells, and both him and Verina turn their attention to the stage—along with a few other bystanders. The suan’ni moves the dragon head along with the rythm with practiced grace, a radiant smile stretching his lips. As he jumps from pole to pole, it almost seems like he’s floating. Every step and leap is effortless.
More civilians stop and gather to watch, drawn in and captivated by Lingyang’s beautiful performance.
Eventually, the music comes to a stop and the small crowd bursts into cheers, and Jiyan claps along with them with a genuine smile he hasn’t been able to do these past few weeks.
Lingyang bows with a gleam of pride in his eyes, before disappearing backstage.