Chapter Text
The distinct twang of Yukari’s bow was always a comforting sound when Minato was thinking too much. As he’d gotten to know her better, he had started to appear at her archery practices just to watch. It was nice to see her show off her skill in a situation that wasn’t life or death. Also much easier given he wasn’t focused on keeping everyone alive.
“Who is it today?” He asked while munching on some Pocky he had stowed away in his bag. He shouldn’t be eating at practice, or even in it, but for some reason no one ever bothered to stop him. Turns out if you pretend like you’re supposed to be there, people really will just ignore you.
“That one creep from class 2C. Ugh.” The next shot had more force behind it than it probably needed. “Can you believe he had the audacity to-” the next hour was spent with Yukari, listening to her complain about everything from her pencil sharpener breaking to the price of radishes. He didn’t realise she could be so passionate about radishes. The more you know. Eventually she exhausted both her arms and mouth, finally letting both his ears and the poor archery target rest.
“Thanks for listening, Minato.” She said while they walked back to the dorms. Minato had asked to go grab something to eat afterwards, but Yukari insisted on repaying him for his time by cooking him something. No doubt it would be edible, and likely involve an unexpected amount of radishes. The thought was nice, at least, even if a bowl of ramen would have been better.
“Soooo, what's on your mind?” Yukari asked while Minato snacked on a candy bar. He briefly stopped to finish chewing. “Junpei needs to get laid.” He responded. Yukari looked only mildly disturbed. “That’s what you’ve been thinking about this whole time?” Minato just took another bite of the candy bar, which was all the confirmation she needed.
“I mean, you’re not wrong. I’m so tired of all his stupid comments.” She muttered something offensive under her breath about Junpei that Minato pretended not to hear. “He’s lucky I’ve dealt with enough pervy guys to know exactly what kind of look they give you. Junpei’s not actually enjoying himself.” Minato nodded sagely, having heard that particular comment many times. He wouldn’t have noticed how hard Junpei was trying to act “normal” if Yukari hadn’t pointed it out one day. “Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Kenji.” Chomp. Damn now he was out of snacks. He looked over to Yukari to see her looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Didn’t he like, date a teacher or something?” Minato just said “Tried.” in response while trying to ignore the fact he had to wait until they got back to the dorms and then some for a proper meal.
“That’s stupid. I’m sure they’ll be perfect for each other.” Minato nodded in agreement as if that wasn’t an insult. “So what’s your plan exactly?” The ever-intelligent leader of SEES stopped in his tracks as he realised he had no plan to speak of. Most of his thoughts had revolved around how relieved he would be when they stopped talking about women and started talking about each other. Not how to get them there.
“Don’t worry about it.” He decided on the spot not to involve Yukari in whatever mess this would turn out to be. Kenji wouldn’t be too hard, but getting Junpei out of the closet would be like pulling teeth from an alligator. As easy as drawing blood from a stone with only fluffy pillows. Simple as getting Akihiko to stop obsessing over protein.
Distracted by his own increasingly absurd metaphors, Minato had not noticed that he was currently walking face first into a pole until it quite literally hit him. As he reeled from the self inflicted blow, he couldn’t help but think that there was a metaphor somewhere in that as well.
“I think I have plenty to worry about.” Yukari deadpanned at the sight, used to Minato’s strange antics. This was the boy who spent a good portion of the dark hour staring at a wall for no apparent reason before popping out with new Personas. This seemed almost normal in comparison.
“Silence, radish lesbian.” Minato muttered while rubbing his bruised nose. Fortunately he had been walking slow enough that it wouldn’t leave a mark, but it might be bruised for a bit. “Is that supposed to be an insult?” Yukari asked with just enough venom to get Minato’s attention. “Do you think radishes are insulting?” She just sighed at his response. “I will never understand men. Especially not you.” Minato just shrugged. He had far, far more confusing men to deal with.
“Look, do whatever you want, but if you need help just ask, alright?” Yukari knew she wouldn’t be able to force her way into whatever Minato was scheming. But she would be a bad friend to not at least offer her assistance. Minato just nodded, the smallest of smiles forming on his lips. Not only was he comforted by knowing his friend had his back, but she seemed to think he had a plan! Which meant there was probably a way to make this work. Maybe. He’d think about it later. Later most likely being the last possible moment.
The two soon returned to the dorms, with Minato firmly sat in a dining chair and told not to move for a bit while Yukari prepared her secret new dish. The scent of radishes faintly wafted through the dorm halls from the kitchen.
Wait, since when did radishes have that strong of a scent?
A sudden pang of regret struck Minato as he realised what he’d signed up for. Maybe he should have focused more on his friends homosexual homophobia and less on whatever Yukari was saying. Then he might be literally anywhere else.
Minato briefly wondered if he could have one of the dark hour coffins used at his funeral to save on money.