Chapter Text
Liu Qingge was ashamed of the way his body reacted to the image of his shixiong on display before him. He ached to touch the pale jade skin, to run his hands along the lean muscled chest that narrowed to a slim waist. He longed to taste the lips of the man before him, wanted to savor the feel of their flesh becoming one.
The War God pounded his head against the ground a few times trying to dispel the hazy feeling of lust that filled his mind and body. He may be poisoned, but still he was no better than the perverted men who took advantage of the lowly prostitutes forced to sell their bodies. If he somehow survived this, how could he ever look his shixiong in the face again.
He thought of the Qing Jing peak lord in that moment, of how he left the other man asleep in their makeshift camp. It was a foolish thing to do, but he needed the space, to get away and clear his head. And he had been annoyed that Shen Qingqiu demanded they hunt together during the daylight hours, saying it would be safer that way.
They had already been on the road searching for the wraith over a week and the War God was impatient and too confident in his own abilities. But he underestimated the power of the wraith’s effect, of how one small smile from the face of his shixiong had been his undoing. If there had been any doubt about his feelings before this, they were put to rest now. He only lamented that he would never see the real face of his beloved again.
Thankfully, the wraith was still wearing a pair of silky pants as it prowled just above his fallen form. Or was it his mind perceiving the wraith still partially clothed? Did the wraith have any clothes on at all? He wasn’t sure anymore. The whole situation was confusing.
“Like what you see immortal cultivator?” Shen Qingqiu’s face leered down at him like something out of his worst nightmare, or perhaps more from his most tempting dream if he was being honest. “To think you denied yourself this for so many years. How pathetic.”
The wraith kneeled and straddled his waist, bringing an unbearable pleasure to his lower abdomen. He tried to weakly push the other away from his body but somehow, they only managed to get closer. He could feel the breath exhale on his neck as the monster leaned in close to whisper into his ear.
“Should I let you have a taste?” the wraith pulled back to look him in the face with a knowing smile. All Liu Qingge could think was that the Qing Jing peak lord was the most beautiful person in his acquaintance, and how tragic it was that he had wasted so much time for so many years.
“I think not.” Then he felt the sharp bite of the wraith’s teeth sinking into his neck. The pain was all consuming, but it also brought with it a dizzying pleasure that threatened to take his consciousness.
As the monster drank his blood, he considered this was not the worst way to go. After all, he was held in the arms of his beloved. He felt faint from the loss of blood and his vision was losing it sharpness.
“Shidi tastes delicious, unrequited love is always the sweetest.” the monster said with a smirk as it pulled back to wipe its bloodied lips. But before he could return to drink again a look of surprise crossed it’s face as a pained whimper left his mouth. Liu Qingge’s attention was brought to the tip of a sword that now protruded from the wraith’s chest.
The monster, for Liu Qingge could see its true form again, hissed as the sword was pulled back out by the wielder and before the wraith could stand to defend itself, the same bright white sword arced gracefully and cleanly lopped off the head of the wraith.
The real Shen Qingqiu finally came into his view, a worried scowl on his face. He roughly cleaned the blood from Xiu Ya on his outer robe before sheathing it at his side once more. Liu Qingge felt relief and happiness at being saved; he would have to shelve his feelings embarrassment for later. The other man leaned down to grab his wrist, checking the flow of his meridians.
“Idiot shidi, stupid brute. How did you let yourself get this way? Didn’t you take the antidote?” The man’s scowl turned fiercer before letting his wrist go.
“Dropped it.” Liu Qingge barely managed a response. The wraith may be dead be he was still feeling the effects of the poison which was now complicated by the blood loss. He didn’t think he could stay conscious much longer.
Shen Qingqiu reached to shift the war god’s hair aside and look at the bite wound on his neck, bringing the two of them unbearably close. Their sudden proximity was a shock to Liu Qingge who visibly flinched. He feared his current physical state would reveal his true feelings, that being too close to his beloved would drive him to do something crazy. So, the war god turned his head away in shame.
Shen Qingqiu seemed to be surprised by his reaction, moving back a bit to give him more space. He watched as the other man pulled a small jar from his sleeve. Opening it, he brought it to Liu Qingge lips.
“Drink” his shixiong was giving him his antidote. He supposed the other didn’t need it anymore as he swallowed it down. It tasted of burnt spices and smoked fish. Liu Qingge lamented that the awful flavor would stay with him until he awoke later.
Unable to fight anymore, he let himself drift off, knowing that his shixiong was there to watch his back. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard something as he lost consciousness.
“Ah, shidi does have someone he loves.”
***
It had been two months since their mission, the one where Liu Qingge completely embarrassed himself. And he was positive Shen Qingqiu was avoiding him.
The man had missed every one of their weekly spar appointments. Every time he went to Qing Jing peak, he was turned away. Their master was not in; their master was too busy.
It occurred to him that Shen Qingqiu could have discovered his secret during their mission, perhaps he had witnessed who the wraith looked like. But when asked, Mu Qingfang had settled his fears, assuring him only the victim could see their loved one in the face of the wraith. Its appearance was different for everyone. If that was true, then why was his shixiong hiding from him.
One day he overheard some of his disciples gossiping about the Qing Jing peak lord visiting the warm red pavilion. It had been a while since he had heard those rumors; was sure the other man hadn’t visited that place in a very long time, or at least was more discreet. Of course, this news deeply hurt Liu Qingge, again wishing he could be more for his shixiong. But he had to remind himself he had no true hold over the other man.
Finally, the bi-monthly peak lord meeting arrived and Liu Qingge laid his eyes on Shen Qingqiu.
The other man was as gorgeous as always, dressed elegantly with no hair out of place. But he did look a bit more pale and severe than usual. Was Shen Qingqiu sick? Is that why he had been missing in action for these last 2 months?
As soon as the meeting came to a close, Shen Qingqiu disappeared. The man who normally preferred to walk back to his peak after meetings, jumped on his sword and flew off.
Liu Qingge had enough, they were friends if nothing else and he wouldn’t stand for the cold shoulder anymore.
He caught up to the Qing Jing peak lord as he landed in front of the bamboo hut and before the other could close the door, the War God barged in roughly pushing the other man back from the entry.
“Why are you avoiding me?” Liu Qingge asked while stalking over to sit in his usual seat.
“Who is avoiding you? I have been busy.” With a sigh, Shen Qingqiu moved to his small stove and placed his tea kettle on to boil.
“For two months? And you haven’t sent a note once to cancel our weekly spar and tea.” He whined a bit too pitifully.
He watched as the other man opened a cabinet to remove the satchel containing his shixiong’s favorite tea. Something was wrong, the man was too tense, his movements stilted and ungraceful.
“Perhaps shidi should look to spend more time with other people, we wouldn’t want others to get the wrong idea.” It seemed his martial sibling refused to face him, instead keeping busy with his tea preparations. The War God got up from his chair to move toward the other man, determined to figure out what was wrong.
“I thought we were friends. What is wrong with us spending time together?” Shen Qingqiu made a small sound of surprise and quickly spun around to face him, clearly startled by his sudden closeness.
“You don’t need a friend like me. Shidi should seek other company and leave this master to himself” Shen Qingqiu walked past him, setting two tea cups down on his small table. Liu Qingge didn’t understand why he sounded so sad.
“Is this about the wraith mission? Fine, I was a dumb brute who as usual didn’t listen to your warnings, but why would that change anything between us?”
“Liu Qingge should find someone else to spend time with, perhaps the one he is in love with. Leave this master alone.” There was a bite of anger to his words as he swiftly passed by him to return to the tea kettle.
Wait, how had this conversation turned to love? Why did Shen Qingqiu sound so mournful one moment but then angry the next? He had a revelation that brought a small hope to his heart. It couldn’t be?
“Are you jealous?”
“What! You… I don’t understand what you are talking about. Why would I be jealous.” The Qing Jing peak lord sputtered ineloquently still facing the wall.
His small hope started to bloom fully in the war god’s heart at the sight of the blush on the other man’s cheek. He suddenly remembered those words he heard before passing out.
He came up behind the other man and turned him forcefully around by the shoulders. Although Shen Qingqiu refused to look at him as he held his fan up, he tried to read the expression on his beloved’s face, looking for clues of the other’s feelings.
“Because, you would only be jealous of yourself.” Liu Qingge breathlessly admitted with all the sincerity he could muster.
With those words, finally Shen Qingqiu met his eyes, looking up at him with a sort of confused shock that slowly turned to wonder.
“You” Shen Qingqiu stuttered, then pointed at himself with his now closed fan. “With me?” Liu Qingge thought the man he loved never looked more beautiful with his rosy cheeks and glassy eyes.
“Tell me, then, have I no chance of ever succeeding?” The War god whispered like a prayer.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but a silent and frozen shixiong was not it. When after a few more moments there still was no response, Liu Qingge gathered the other man into his arms hugging him close. Perhaps he would need to be clearer.
“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am.” The War God spoke into the ear of his beloved. He smelled off bamboo and ink and having him in his arms, the world felt right. Liu Qingge felt immense joy and happiness when the other man brought his arms up to hug him back.
“Hmm.” His beloved whispered. “My brute.”