Chapter Text
It had been so long since he’d seen him. It seemed impossible, like a figment of his imagination. He had become so accustomed to imagining Suguru in front of him, talking to him, looking at him, that it was bizarre seeing him standing there. Staring. Had Satoru’s imagination failed him? He didn’t remember that scar on his eyebrow. Or the way his lips sat after saying his name. Or his hands looking as rough as they did. Or-
“Satoru, the girls seemed to have disappeared this morning. I can't tell i-if a curse took them, or a curse user, or something else.” he was frantic and shaking, “Maybe your six eyes can help, that’s why I came for you.”
While it hurt to hear it, Satoru was used to it, to people needing his powers. But he didn’t care when it came to him , whatever the reason, he was just happy Suguru had thought of him. Had sought him out. He could never deny Suguru when they were students, and he wasn’t going to start now.
“I’ll do my best to find them,” Satoru said solemnly.
Suguru sighed deeply. It hurt a little, knowing how much the girls meant to him and how small Satoru looked in his eyes. He was tempted to say he couldn't pinpoint them, just to spend more time with him. But he could never lie to Suguru. It was virtually impossible.
Satoru opened his six eyes, looking all over the city for Suguru's daughters. For the people he loved most in the world. Ignoring how awful that made him feel. Searching around, he found something, something faint on the far side of the island, near the sea.
“They’re in Okinawa, funny isn't it?” expecting to see a flicker of something in Suguru’s eyes. Something to tell him that all the time they spent together wasn’t some delusion his lonely mind made up to cope with his parting.
Instead, Suguru looked at him as if he were a stranger, “Let’s go” he said, with an air of finality to him.
Satoru was disappointed. Where was the Suguru who would laugh with him and face all of life’s problems with him. Maybe he was reliving the past, but he still needed him, still wanted him. Did Suguru not feel the same?
They left for Okinawa on Suguru’s dragon. The same creature who had fought with him and saved him countless times. It felt like when they were at Jujutsu Tech again. Messing around, not knowing everything that would happen in the future, just them, enjoying the present. Not worrying about everything that would come. Satoru longed for those days, it lit a yearning in his heart that would not abate. The eternal fire that would stay lit for as long as he lived, and even beyond that. He loved Suguru. That was the plain truth, something he couldn’t deny. It hurt. It hurt so much, even though he was sitting right behind his soulmate. Arms strung around Suguru’s waist, on his way to find the loves of his life.
Regardless, he promised he would find his daughters. So, he enjoyed the moments with Suguru in silence. Soaking in his warmth, the length of his hair, the feeling of his waist around his arms. Every sensation he had missed, he took. Selfishly. Took it as if he were a man drawing and gasping for air. He didn’t care how selfish it was, he had to enjoy it, or he would regret it for the rest of his life. So, even though he was supposed to be surveying the area with his six eyes, he took that time to memorize Suguru. The feeling of his robes against his hands, the warmth of his back over his heart, the rise and fall of his chest against his hands. Taking in the life of his true love, the only person who could ever understand him. Everything was ingrained in his mind. Everything not a single thing-
“Satoru, do you see anything?” Suguru asked, as he interrupted his yearning.
“On the far side of the island, southeast.” he immediately replied.
Satoru felt the dragon veer towards the left, surprised Suguru had followed what he’d said. Granted, this was about his daughters, so he shouldn’t be so shocked.
“They’re at the beach as far as I can tell. No one’s with them except a few low level demons.”
Suguru sighed, took a second, and opened his mouth to say, “I’m- I’m scared, Satoru. What if someone took them, and they’re being hurt or-or they got captured again and imprisoned just like in their village, or-” Satoru laid his head over Suguru’s shoulder and squeezed his waist.
“Everything is fine, trust me. Do you think I would be this calm if something were happening to your girls?” he said, feeling Suguru take a deep breath.
“You’re right. I’m sorry I never should’ve doubted you.” He turned to look at Satoru and his breath caught in his throat. Suguru was the most beautiful person he had ever met. His eyes shone with unshed tears, his cheeks were red from the wind, and his hair moved like clouds in the sky. For once, he was glad his sunglasses hid him from Suguru’s gaze.
It wasn’t fair. He had been such a coward. Why hadn’t he told Suguru what he felt for him at the academy. Maybe if he had said something, everything would be different. Suddenly, boiling rage filled his guts. He wanted to scream at Suguru, beg him to come back. Couldn’t he see how badly Satoru needed him? Did he ever know him at all?
No, he was just trying to rewrite the past to make it less painful. He wouldn’t do Suguru the dishonor of changing his memories just because his heart was fracturing apart. Suguru was always stronger than him, he didn’t need Satoru like he needed Suguru. How could he ask him to turn away from his ideals and run away with him? It was a fantasy he would only let himself indulge in his dreams. Either way, the world dimmed a little, and the colors seemed to leach away from Suguru’s dragon.
Suguru laid his palm over Satoru’s knee, squeezing it before saying, “We’re almost there, Satoru. I need you to look and tell me what you see.” Suguru said.
Satoru opened his eyes to look beyond Suguru. A little further away he saw two little girls, playing in the sand with a low level curse in the form of a- was that a cat?. It was bizarre.
“Um… they’re playing close to the shore, with a… I want to say cat?” he said, confused.
Suguru turned to look at him and raised his eyebrows, “what?” he continued to stare at him, “you’re telling me Mimiko and Nanako got kidnapped by a curse in the shape of a cat to visit a beach?” he concluded, incredulously.
All Satoru could do was nod. I mean, what else did Suguru want him to say? That's what his six eyes told him.
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Suguru muttered, “I would’ve felt the curse’s presence if they had kidnapped my girls.”
His last two words echoed in Satoru’s head. My girls, my girls, my girls, my girls. Maybe it had been foolish of him to answer Suguru’s call. This was too much for him. His best friend, the love of his life, was living what he had once hungered for both of them. It should be Suguru and Satoru out of their minds looking for their daughters. It should be Suguru watching him and the girls playing in the ocean until he finally relented and joined them. It should be Satoru protecting their family, extending his love over the people who made his life have meaning. It should have been Suguru who turned the weapon into a human. Satoru would have been glad to live a normal life, as long as it meant Suguru was by his side.
All of a sudden, the breath got stuck in his throat. His heart was trying to beat out of his chest, and his palms were full of sweat. Huh, he hadn’t noticed. He started to get dizzy, seeing stars in a blue sky and wondering where, among them, he could see Suguru. Right, Suguru, the girls. He forced himself to see this as a mission. Just another assignment he was sent on to rescue two girls. Nothing personal, nothing real. He could send his emotions to the back of his head and lock them away. If he didn’t, every single cell of his body would start to snap, and he couldn’t afford to lose it, not when he felt like a bomb about to go off, not when he was what everyone looked up to. A weapon held no emotions, it only attacked and got the job done. Nothing more, nothing less.
So he built up his walls again, this time out of steel and not glass. Forging an airtight box where nothing would be able to escape and, most importantly, he wouldn’t be able to get into. Folding it away beneath his unending duties and prioritizing his obligations. Satoru could not let Suguru have so much of a hold on him. So, he made a promise to himself and pleaded with himself to keep it. Satoru Gojo would never let Suguru pull his leash ever again.
He hadn’t noticed Suguru was still talking to him until he shook him, telling him they had landed. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his voice already wreaking havoc on his recently fortified walls, “you look…”
Before he could continue, Satoru interrupted, “let’s go find the girls, I have another assignment tonight, and I can’t afford to lose any time.” He got off the dragon, pushed his head down, and walked past Suguru.