Chapter Text
Mithrun closes his eyes and concentrates. If he tries hard enough he can envision the world Kabru believes in. It's beautiful. Bright blue sky. Thriving crops. Busy people going about their days without a care in the world. But then Kabru disappears from his side. Mithrun is alone in this world.
His eyes snap open. He feels like he was asleep for only a second but their room is darker now. A warm hand caresses his face “Are you okay love? Should I check for nightmares in the bed again?” Kabru looks at him with concerned blue eyes. He's already got too much to worry about. Mithrun is an awful person for adding onto that “Yeah… I'm fine…” his voice feels hoarse.
“You know you can tell me anything right?” Kabru wipes some wetness off his face “I won't be mad…” Mithrun didn't even notice he was crying.
This is such a stupid worry “Do you… do you think in another world if everything was okay we'd still be together?”
“You mean if there was no demon? No Laios? No need to worry about making it to the next day?” Kabru’s eyes soften “I think we'd take our time but in the end yes we would find ourselves together in a peaceful world.”
“But you told me you loved him…” Mithrun whispers oh so very quietly as if speaking that will summon Laios and Kabru will realize what a horrible mistake he's made “In a peaceful world you should be with someone better. More capable… Not ruined. I can only imagine the awful life you'd live forced to care for me-”
He's cut off from his spiraling by a kiss.
I want you so bad. I need you so bad…
When they break away Kabru's eyes are a mixture of love and hurt.
“It's not fair that in order for me to feel a bit of happiness everyone else has to be miserable” Mithrun burries himself in Kabru comforting embrace “I'm so selfish” he groans.
He feels Kabru kissing the top of his head “This is coming from the guy who months ago was convinced he didn't have any desires whatsoever…” Mithrun can't see his face but he knows Kabru has a strange triumphant glitter in his eyes.
“Love you're not the only one whose found happiness in the middle of all the awful…” Kabru yawns giving Mithrun a squeeze “Now let's try to get some sleep before Toshiro or someone else inevitably barges in saying something or another has gone wrong again…”
Mithrun makes sure to savor the moment. A very scared part of him is convinced he won't have Kabru around like this for much longer.
Kabru you have to make it to the end of this war. Even if you decide you don't need me anymore after it. It'll be my one desire that you make it to the end of this war…