Chapter Text
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Duncan complains as the cameras cut off.
“Hey! Keep the swearing to a minimum, man,” Chris frowns at the delinquent. “Especially on camera. That goes for all of you! This is a family-friendly show, capische?”
“Capische…” the majority of them repeat back.
Noah, however, is not a part of this majority. He simply rolls his eyes at Chris before making his way over to Owen. Owen, who lights up when he sees Noah, and scoops him up into a bone-crushing hug. “Hi there, little buddy!”
“Hey, big guy.” Noah wheezes out. “Oh, sorry Noah!” Owen immediately lets go of him. “Sorry!” he winces, looking down at his friend who’s now a heap on the floor.
“Need a hand, mi amigo?” Noah looks up to see the new guy standing over him, hand outstretched. Noah takes it, allowing the guy to pull him to his feet. Alejandro doesn’t let go of Noah’s hand immediately, staring at him with a funny sort of look on his face.
“Is he okay?” Owen asks Noah, moving to stand beside the two of them. This seems to bring Alejandro back to the present, releasing Noah’s hand. Noah pulls back, wiping his hand off on his vest. “Thanks,” he deadpans, frowning at Alejandro.
Alejandro flashes Noah a smile, bowing. “Why of course.” Noah is unimpressed, scoffing as he turns and walks off. Alejandro stands back up normally, confused.
Noah is…interesting, to say the least. Alejandro can’t quite pin what role he plays in this group yet. He tried watching at least some of the show after having been accepted to participate in the third season. Key word: tried. This show and its participants are laughable at best.
However, there is something about Noah. Alejandro sees promise in him. The potential to rival even the likes of a Burromuerto. Alejandro will have to keep a close eye on him. He may even have to-
“Don’t let yourself get too beat up over what Noah says,” Owen so rudely interjects, making Alejandro scowl, “he’s like that to everybody, heh.”
Alejandro makes eye contact with Owen, his face softening when he sees the other boy is being genuine, offering console in case Noah hurt his feelings.
Unlike Noah, Owen has had plenty of screen time. He is passionate, kind, and incredibly dim-witted. Alejandro could use someone like Owen as an ally. Liked by the others, easily manipulated, loyal to a fault, and somehow friends with Noah. Perfect!
“How kind of you. Fortunately, I did not let his words get to me. Burromuerto men have thick skin. Figuratively speaking, of course. My skin is actually very soft,” he boasts, holding out an arm as if to give proof.
Owen takes this as an invitation to feel Alejandro’s arm, which makes him grimace, but of course he doesn’t say anything. “Whoa, you were right! It is soft.” Owen laughs, letting go of the arm, which falls to Alejandro’s side.
“Yes. I’m glad you…did that,” says Alejandro through gritted teeth. “Now,” he wraps an arm around Owen’s shoulder, pulling him closer, “tell me more about your friends here. Especially Noah, you seem fond of him. I would be thrilled to hear about them all!”
——
After what Chris feels like is a sufficient amount of time for the teens to socialize some, he calls them all back over. The cameras get rolling again and he finally leads them into the airplane, first stop being the common area.
On the way, Chris explains there will be another element of this season that is all-new (to keep that sweet, sweet audience retention at a high). “This season of Total Drama is going to be a lot more vocally intensive, if you will.” Chris says, which gets a mixed reaction.
“Chris, you don’t mean…” Gwen starts.
“Oh I mean!” Chris chuckles as they enter the large room.
“Singing? Really?! I thought Chris was joking about that.” Gwen says, dumbfounded.
Courtney interjects, clearly excited about the news. “Well I don’t have a problem with that!” she chirps.
“Yeah, ’cause you like singing.” Leshawna points out, crossing her arms.
Duncan rolls his eyes. “Well I don’t!” He glares at Chris. “Girls sing. Little birdies sing, hahaha. Duncans do NOT sing!”
“Do you think I’ll get to beatbox?” Harold wonders. Duncan balls his fists in response. “I’ll beat you if you try.”
Heather points an accusatory finger at Chris. “Why in the hell are you doing this to us?!”
Chris simply smiles, clearly enjoying the discomfort from most of the teens. “Singing reality shows are *huge*. And! The worse the singing…the higher the ratings! Which is why on this show there will be NO vocal coaches, rehearsals, or warning. Haha!” This time he gets a wholly upset reaction from everyone. Sadly, he can’t enjoy it for too long because he’s got a schedule to keep.
“Anyhoo…” Chris starts, speaking in his ‘host voice’ again, loudly enough to draw the attention back to him. “This is the dining area where you‘ll enjoy in-flight meals.”
Ezekiel interrupts before Chris can continue, rewarding him with a glare from the host that, if looks could kill, this certainly would. “Not for long, eh? Prepare to lose to the Zeke.” This is apparently taken as ‘everybody-but-Chris-talk’ time, because Gwen speaks up, putting a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder. “Totally not trying to be rude here, but you do know you got voted out *first* last time, right?…” Courtney stifles a laugh, looking in the opposite direction.
Chris groans. That kid is still talking. Something about his plans to win, yadda yadda. Yeah, let’s see him make it past this episode. He (regrettably) tunes back in to what Ezekiel is saying “I’m smarter, faster, stronger—“
Chris does the cutting off this time, crossing his arms. “Chattier, blabbier, can’t-shut-up-ier,” he rolls his eyes. “Now zip it and let me finish the tour so we can get this bird in flight!” Honestly, these kids act like the world revolves around them sometimes. Although…that’s probably what makes them such entertaining individuals to watch. Pros and cons, he supposes.
There’s a few people asking about a restroom as the group starts moving again. “Perfect transition into the next stop on our tour! Right this way, folks.” Chris leads the group through the galley, down a small corridor that leads to two restrooms.
One has a freshly painted door, sign hanging on it marked ‘Staff Only’, and the other sports a door that is chipped and most certainly coming off its hinges. Multiple teens rush to the second bathroom, Leshawna getting there first.
She comes out of the bathroom a minute or so later, fuming, shouting about the ‘complete lack of privacy on this show.’
Once they’re all done at the bathroom area, Chris gives the group a tour of the economy class cabin, first class cabin, and to finish it off—his very own living quarters. He leads the group back to the common area afterward.
The teens are all sitting together at the dining tables in the center of the room, huddled close together to be able to hear Chris.
“And that’s pretty much it! I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I’m sure you’ll find those exciting destinations later…when I ‘accidentally’ lock you in them!” he chuckles to himself.
The plane starts making noise and, before anyone knows it, they all begin tumbling around the room.
A group of contestants fall into a heap beside one of the dining tables, Owen steamrolls another few before crashing into a dining cart, and the rest (including Chris) are being thrown about the room.
Alejandro, who had been standing, slams against the nearest wall. He recovers quickly enough to see Noah, Lindsay, and Bridgette all hurtling his way. Alejandro reaches out and grabs Noah, who is closest, before he slams into the wall nearby.
Lindsay and Bridgette unfortunately collide with each other before collapsing in front of Alejandro and Noah.
“Ay…lo siento, ladies.” Alejandro helps the two girls back up to their feet, hand lingering on Noah. “Are you three alright?” he asks, voice full of concern. The girls giggle, assuring Alejandro that they’re fine because of him—even though he didn’t really do anything, Noah points out—before thanking him and joining the reforming group.
Heather looks on from the sidelines of the group, glaring at Alejandro.
---------- Begin Heather Confessional ----------
“I can see RIGHT through that guy!”
…
“You know, this extra confessional is a thousand times nicer than talking in the toilet.”
“Maybe for you,” Chef interjects, “I’m trying to prep for a flight here.”
Heather scoffs. “Hello!? Venting. Shhhh! Anyway…the new guy is SO transparent, SO fake, SO-“
“Deliciously seductive?” Chef suggests.
“That is exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say!” she huffs.
“Handsome guy to boot…I’m just saying.”
“Ugh, whatever! Forget this.”
---------- End Heather Confessional ----------
Alejandro looks down at Noah, whose arms are crossed. “And what’s the matter with you, my pouty little friend? Did you get hurt? Or are you perhaps jealous?” he tries joking, but the way it comes out does not sound like one. *Hopefully Noah does not think anything of it.*
“Pssh…it’s nothing, don’t get too cocky there…guy.” Noah rolls his eyes at Alejandro, but hesitates on the last word, to which Alejandro raises an eyebrow in response.
“It’s Alejandro, in case you didn’t know.”
“I knew that.”
“Sure you did.”
“I did!”
“I believe you.”
“Fuck off, Alejandro,” Noah huffs, overly emphasizing his name, which only gets an amused smile out of Alejandro.
Noah scans his eyes across the room. “Do you think you could let go of me now? Thank you for saving me from breaking a bone or whatever earlier, but Chris has started saying things and I doubt he’ll repeat his words just for us.”
Alejandro looks down and, sure enough, he still has a hand on Noah. He immediately pulls back. “My apologies, I did not realize-“ Alejandro starts, but Noah cuts him off. “It’s fine. Just…come on. Let’s get back over to where everyone else is.” Noah grabs Alejandro’s wrist and pulls him over to the back of the group.
Alejandro reflects on his exchanges with Noah so far. He has learned virtually nothing about Noah other than random trivia from Owen (that Alejandro has already committed to memory (to have information on the enemy, of course)) and that Noah’s skin is surprisingly soft. *What?!* Alejandro quickly abandons that train of thought in favor of actually paying attention to Chris…
“The elimination ceremony,” Chris continues, “takes place right in there my friends.” He points to an adjoining room that was not a part of the tour. “I saved this extra special stop for last! Let’s take a look.”
“Are you sure you didn’t just forget about this ‘stop’ on the tour?” Courtney asks as they all start making their way into the new room.
“Shhhhhh!” Chris glares at her. “A-ny-way…” he clears his throat before explaining the elimination ceremony of the season. “If you don’t receive a barf bag full of airline peanuts—“
Chris is swiftly cut off YET AGAIN by Ezekiel, complaining of a peanut allergy…sensitivity…whatever. He frowns, not giving a single fuck about whatever it is Ezekiel has to say. “—you will be forced to take the drop of shame.” Chris grabs Ezekiel by the front of his sweater, sticks a parachute in his arms, and shoves him out the plane. “Kinda like this!” Chris stands by the open hangar door as he listens for the sound of Ezekiel’s screams. “Ahh…music to my ears. Now!” Chris claps his hands together, turning to face the contestants still standing in the room, “Know that all eliminations are FI-NAL. Got it?” The group nods. “Perfect!”
Chris turns to face the camera. “Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride because we’ll be right back with a fun-filled exploit to kick off this season of…Total! Drama! World Tour~!”