Chapter Text
Regulus listened from his room as Sirius came down from the room above. His back hurt as he rolled out of bed, from mother punishing him after Sirius passed out from the fight that night. Regulus knew what was about to happen, Sirius was going to leave.
Sirius had always been his protector, his staunchest ali, his everything. But Sirius was a bit nieve when it came to escaping this house. They lived in the most ancient and noble house of Black, and mother would not let the family die with them. If they both left mother would hunt them down and drag them back into the house. Regulus HAD to get Sirius to stay otherwise their mother would never cease hunting them.
Regulus also knew that he couldn’t survive in this house alone, he’d die without his brother, he’d be the sole target of his mothers rage, so he ran to the stairwell to stop his brother.
As Siri walked past he whispered “Sirius.” His brother whipped around and suddenly he came face to face with Sirius. He looked worse than ever, a black eye and bleeding nose, limping and crying. For quite possibly the 1st time he realized just how young his brother was, just a child. Despite being 15 he looked so young, like a child needing a hug.
Regulus knew that Sirius and him were different. He wasn’t like Sirius, brave and noble, he was a coward, terrified of speaking up. Regulus remembered the first time Sirius went off to boarding school. He was alone without Sirius for the first time. Sirius was usually the target of our mothers wrath, especially since he took the punishment for Regulus when he messed up. Regulus had always known Sirius had it worse than him but he had never truly realized until he left. Mother broke him that year, Regulus tried to be brave, to speak up like Sirius but in the end mother always got her way. Regulus became her perfect puppet. Always in misery. He needed Sirius to stay with him, he couldn’t escape and he needed his everything.
Sirius looked at him,“Reggie I have to go.”
“But-,” Regulus started his argument.
His voice turned hard, “She will kill me if I stay here any longer, you know she will.”
Regulus knew he was right but he couldn’t let him go, “No, you just have to stop acting out-.”
“Acting out! Regulus, She. Is. Hurting. Us. We will die if we stay in this house! It doesn’t matter what we do, we will never be good enough for her!”
“You have nowhere to go,” he said, grasping at straws.
“The Potter’s will take me in,”
Regulus immediately got annoyed, of course Sirius’ real brother James Potter, the person who stole Sirius from him. Potter got to have him at school, he couldn’t have him at home too, “of course, your best mate James Potter,” He immediately closed off, hiding his sadness and jealousy.
Regulus was getting desperate, he had no leverage, he was going to leave, he didn’t no what to do and was so scared. Sirius opened his mouth but before he could get a word out Regulus grabbed his hand and looked at him with all the terror and desperation he was feeling.
“Don’t stay for her, stay for me, please, just stay for me,” He felt broke and when Sirius looked back at me, his eyes filled with the same terror, he again saw how small he looked, only a child.
He pulled Regulus towards him and looked him dead in the eye.
“Reggie come with me, we can get out together, we can go to the Potter’s, I know they’ll take care of you too. Please, i’m asking you to leave”.
His heart lifted at that, he imagined it, them running away and being together. Hanging out at the Potter’s and having fun with James, just getting to be teenagers. that they could escape the plan written for them. I was ecstatic at the thought of it until he came back to reality and saw me and Sirius, caged birds. Regulus suddenly came to a realization, Sirius deserved that life, he deserved to have someone, a brother worth loving. Their mother wouldn’t let them both go but she would let one leave. He knew I wouldn’t survive alone but that was what he had to do. A sacrifice, one brother for the other. Regulus had to let him go. he looked at Sirius, he felt broken and trampled when he looked up at Sirius and just shook his head.
“I can’t stay,”
“I can’t leave,”
Regulus watched as Sirius fled out the door, being free at last in the great wide world, he crumpled on the ground and sobbed, for everything he could’ve been, him and Sirius could’ve been, and because he’d never make to adulthood.