Chapter Text
Holidays are generally spent with loved ones, and Chūya is no stranger to celebrating with his. However, on a fine year when he has friends that have plans, he spends the most merry of holidays by himself. At least, that is what Chūya believed would happen this Christmas year.
Chūya never had it in his winter plans to receive a visit from his old partner and colleague, Dazai Osamu. In fact, he never once recalled inviting over the brunet. To say that he was surprised to find Dazai waiting on his couch for him would be an understatement.
“Ah, you’re finally back!” Dazai smiles as Chūya closes the door behind him.
“And you’re here uninvited,” Chūya sighs. “Was the locked door not a big enough sign that I wasn’t expecting guests?”
“I didn’t think I was a guest,” Dazai replies. “After all, you never took back my key, nor did you change the locks”
“I didn’t think you’d come to my apartment so that’ll change soon,” Chūya throws his keys into the tray by the door and takes off his accessories. “So what brings you here? Or should I be asking what do you want?”
“I’m here to give you a Christmas gift,” Dazai answers; He holds out a box to Chūya. Chūya raises his eyebrows.
“You broke into my apartment to give me a gift?” Chūya asks back in disbelief. “Since when do we give gifts?”
“Since now,” Dazai replies; A smile still stretched across his face.
“If this isn’t dejavu, I don’t know what is,” Chūya mutters before taking the box. It’s as light as a feather, and he gives it a shake only to hear nothing. “What is it? A box full of feathers?”
“No,” Dazai’s smile widens with the question. “Open it, and you’ll see”
Chūya takes the suggestion and finds a paper taped to the bottom of the box on the inside. The note reads: “Me”
“Oh god, you’re not going to do that stupid tying yourself with a ribbon while naked thing, right?” Chūya turns to him with disgust. “‘Cause I’m not accepting that, it’s weird”
“I’ll never understand why you don’t like bondage. You walk around in a harness and choker; It’s the perfect use of it,” Dazai shakes his head in disappointment. “But no, I never said it was sexual. You get to spend Christmas with me!”
“Oh goody,” The sarcasm drips from Chūya’s mouth like a fountain. “Get out”
“But you’re going to be all alone on Christmas so I’m doing you a favor and hanging out with you,” Dazai tries to make a case. “You have me all to yourself for the entire day and night”
“More like I’d be doing you a favor,” Chūya scoffs. “You only came here because your new friends from work are all busy spending Christmas with their families”
“No they aren’t,” Dazai shakes his head. “Most of them are orphans so they have no family”
“See, this is why no invites you to spend Christmas with them,” Chūya opens his front door and points out. “It was totally not nice seeing you. I hope the door hits you on the way out”
“But Chūyaaaa,” Dazai whines; Staying in place. Chūya shoves him out the door, and slams the door in his face. In a last stitch effort he yells through the door: “I’ll help you build a gingerbread house and listen to Christmas music with you!”
A second goes by before the door opens a crack, and one of Chūya’s eyes poke through. “You have to sing along to at least three songs”
“I will,” Dazai replies with a triumphant smile. Chūya doesn’t open the door.
“And you will make the big gingerbread house; We’re not sticking to the stupid small hut, we’re building a mansion,” Chūya lists off another condition. “And you are only allowed two vetos on songs”
“Why are you turning this into a weird contract? It’s just music and gingerbread houses,” Dazai asks before Chūya shuts the door in his face. “Wait! Slug, I never said I wasn’t going to agree!”
The door opens fully and Chūya is expectant. “Well, you coming in or what?”
“I think you have an obsession,” Dazai states as he comes in. “You’re always oddly anal about Christmas being perfect”
“Because Christmas is a cheerful holiday about giving to others,” Chūya explains. “It’s a special day to celebrate the things that we hold dear in our lives. The traditions are meant to be shared with people we care about. Unfortunately, you were right. My friends aren’t available so I guess you’ll do”
“Should you really be saying that to the one that came here for you?” Dazai asks. Chūya gives him a look.
“Do you want to be kicked out into the snow or are you under the unfortunate misunderstanding that I wouldn’t throw you out into the snow?” Chūya replies with a question.
“Not when you finally got someone to agree to making a gingerbread house with you,” Dazai lets out a small laugh.
“I wouldn’t doubt my ability if I were you,” Chūya walks past him to pull out his custom made mold. “So far, I’ve gotten you to agree twice”
“Both conveniently through the art of threatening to kick me out,” Dazai points out.
“Why do you want to be in my apartment so bad?” Chūya pulls out the ingredients for the gingerbread, and Dazai looks away as he rubs the back of his neck. “Really, I think that says more about you than about me”
“And what does that say about me?” Dazai moves to be just behind Chūya; Placing his hands against the counter on either side of Chūya.
“It says that you’re either desperate for my company, my apartment, or both,” Chūya turns to face him; Looking up at him with a unfeeling gaze. “Judging by the way you’re putting yourself out there like this, I’d say it’s the former over the ladder. But maybe you do want both?”
“I came for you to have my company not the other way around,” Dazai answers. The two stare at each other for bit longer before Chūya turns away to continue the recipe. Dazai’s breath becomes curiously close to his neck, and it takes a lot of effort from within for him to not give into his will of kissing Chūya’s neck. He pushes away from the counter. “But I’m starting to feel unwanted by the very person I’m giving this gift to”
“Congratulations,” Chūya mixes the ingredients in a bowl as he speaks. He didn’t even make an effort to look at him. Even so, Dazai saw the slight twitch of Chūya’s eye, and he knew the following statement was a lie, “It took you eight years, but you finally realized that I’ve wanted you leave since we met”
A few moments pass by as Chūya rolls the dough out, and cut it into the needed shapes before baking it. The moment it was in the oven, Chūya pulled the previous batch out to sit. He placed them on a rack; Turing to Dazai with a sigh.
“You like to break things,” The words brought a furrowed brow to Dazai’s face. Chūya places a large bowl with homemade candy in front of him, “Break up the candy I made”
“Don’t you make a ridiculous amount of sweets during the holidays and it takes you hours? Why would you want to crush this?” Dazai asks the question but still decides to breaks the candy anyway.
“I made it for the windows,” Chūya moves back to attend to the other parts of his baking. “Plus the sweets won’t be coming out yet. That’s not until tomorrow”
“Seems like more hassle than it’s worth,” Dazai shrugs his shoulders. Chūya looks back at him before pressing up against Dazai’s back.
“Maybe for you,” He grabs Dazai by the wrist, and puts more force behind each slam of the mallet. Dazai feels his heartbeat speed up, and his muscles tense. “You’re not putting enough force into it. Pretend it’s the hands of the people you hate”
“Chūya crushes the hands of those he hates and bakes them into cookies,” Dazai says the thought aloud. “That’s such a brute thing to do, of course you would”
“What are you? A clickbait article?” Chūya scoffs as he places his hands on either side of Dazai on the counter. He leans in slightly more, and a heat rises in Dazai’s face. “Actually, that sounds exactly like you”
A smile traces Chūya’s face before he goes back to baking. Dazai quieted down for a while after. He was so quiet that Chūya had forgotten he was there at one point. By that time, Dazai was sitting at the island, and watching Chūya bake in silence.
“I thought you said we would listen to Christmas music?” Dazai reminds him of one of the agreements. Chūya looks at the two finished pans of gingerbread, and turns back to Dazai.
“Tomorrow,” Chūya gestures towards the gingerbread still in the oven. “We’re going to listen to the music and make the mansion. Then, we’re going to make a shit ton of desserts before finishing the night out with Christmas caroling”
“Since when do you go caroling?” The judgement in Dazai’s voice is evident.
“Since someone decided to join me this year,” Chūya shrugs his shoulders. Really, he wasn’t planning on going caroling at all, he just wanted Dazai to think that they are. Serves the bastard right for barging in.
“Sure.” Dazai didn’t believe it for a second. Going out into the cold to sing on people’s doorsteps is not something he cares about. The thought of Chūya making a failed attempt to trick him, made a smile creep onto Dazai’s face.
As the gingerbread cooled, the two had made their way to the couch. Watching a Christmas movie was Chūya’s idea, but the excited feeling at the beginning had already died down at the middle of the movie. Dazai was leaning against the couch, silently watching the movie when he felt a head rest on his shoulder. The thumping in his chest was suddenly heard in his ear, and he could feel the excitement bubbling in his stomach.
A peek at Chūya revealed that he had fallen asleep. With that confirmation, Dazai leans into the touch more. Dazai heard every click of the clock above the front door. His heart pulses twice with every tick of the second hand.
Chūya values his sleep. Even when he’s excited for holidays like Christmas, he would make sure he always went to bed at an acceptable hour. Along with the quantity, he also places importance on the quality of his sleep. He has only the highest quality of material for his bedding, and the best mattress he could find.
Chūya’s surprise is immeasurable when wakes up on Christmas morning, and he’s not in his bed. In fact, he's sprawled out on his own couch with a blanket only partially covering his left leg. As he blinks a few times, his memory from the night before begins to come back to him. Where the fuck is Dazai now?
“Good morning, Slug!” Dazai’s voice comes from Chūya’s kitchen. Even after hearing the voice, Chūya makes no move to face him.
“You better not be making anything,” Chūya sits up and stretches before making an attempt to rub out the crick in his neck. “You know better than to cook anything after setting fire to an otherwise flameless meal.”
“I told you, lighting it on fire is a technique!” Dazai huffs. Even with his nose telling him that there is no burnt food, Chūya couldn’t help but think that Dazai probably destroyed his kitchen. The pure fear of what he would find has kept him from turning around.
“And I told you that it’s only a technique when it’s meant to be cooked,” Chūya growls. “Not when it’s fucking salad”
“I was going for grilled veggies,” Dazai rolls his eyes.
“Grilled vegetables need vegetables and you—” Chūya finally looks back at Dazai to find a fully cooked meal behind him. “How-you-since when have you known how to cook?!”
“What do you mean ‘since when’? I’ve always been able to cook,” Dazai crosses his arms, and sits at the table.
Chūya joins him as he takes in the food in front of him. A spoonful of soup later, and Chūya learns the difference between ‘being able to cook’ and ‘cooking well’. He drops the spoon spits out the soup that just entered his mouth.
“What the fuck did you put in this, Dazai?!” Chūya tries to remove the flavor by eating some of the toast Dazai had made as a side, but all he got was the burnt side of the toast. He flips it over to find an almost completely black side of the toast. “How the hell did you burn it this badly?!”
“I followed the instructions the recipe gave me, and that’s how I made the soup.” Dazai shrugs after his bite. “And I forgot that I needed to flip the toast over halfway so it burned. Honestly, you’re just being dramatic; It’s not that bad”
“Are you sure you followed every direction?” Chūya glares at Dazai, and he wrinkles his nose.
“Well..” Dazai looks towards the kitchen as he decides whether he should tell the truth or not. “I didn’t know how many eggs you would need for the icing and baking so I substituted it with water. I also forgot to add in the dashi”
Chūya looks down at his bowl. No wonder it tastes so bad! It’s just watered down sake with soy sauce and salt! He sighs, and takes both their bowls and adds the needed ingredients before reheating the soup and mixing.
“If you’re wanting to ruin my Christmas, you’re going to have to try harder than fucking up breakfast,” Chūya places the bowls back on the table after fixing them up. Dazai shakes his head before tasting the soup.
“Can’t I just do a nice thing for you?” Dazai hums with delight at the taste. Much better. Chūya’s food is always better. “I’m your gift, remember?”
“And your idea of a gift is to make crappy food then have the receiver fix it,” Chūya snorts. “How about you do the thing we agreed upon, and then leave?”
He did just that. They listened to Christmas song after Christmas song, and Dazai watched Chūya carefully ice the roof of the gingerbread house to be perfect. A day that felt oddly comfortable for both of them had passed. By the time the sky grew dark, and the lights around the house lit up bright, Dazai had made his way back to the couch with a plate of cookies in his hand. Just as he was about to take a bite into one of the sugar cookies, Chūya stole it from his hands. He placed it back on the plate, and took the plate back into the kitchen.
“Nice try,” Chūya comes back in with a different plate, and shoves it into his face. “You’ve been eating cookies all day long. How about having actual food?”
“It’s not my fault you didn’t feed me,” Dazai shrugs as he begins eating the food given to him. “Unless you wanted me to cook again?”
“You know the way to the restaurant down the street,” Chūya picks at some of the food on his own plate.
“Weren’t you the one that started judging me because I tried to go to one a few Christmases ago?” Dazai tilts his head before smirking at the frustrated Chūya.
“That was when we were partners,” Chūya rolls his eyes. “It made me look bad when I would leave you out in the cold to eat Christmas dinner by yourself, but with you being traitor and all now..”
“How mean of you!” Dazai grabs at his chest with fake hurt. “How could my dear dog say that about me?!”
“Call me a dog one more time, and you will be sitting in snow for the rest of the night,” The glare from Chūya brings another smile to Dazai’s face before he places the plate of food on the coffee table.
Dazai and Chūya both knew that the threat was empty, yet Dazai quit the dog jokes. The company was something that Chūya had been wanting for Christmas. Leading up to the day, he found that more and more of his friends were unavailable. Dazai on the other hand had been invited to three separate parties that he didn’t show up to. If it wasn’t for the fact that Ranpo started an argument between Yosano, Kunikida, and Atsushi about who’d throw a better party, he would have celebrated with the Agency again that year. All the arguing was fun to watch, but he found that some of the more simpler evenings he had spent with Chūya years ago were much more appealing.
With the soft lighting, Chūya and Dazai were able to laugh and joke around like they hadn’t in a long time. Come daylight the next morning, and Dazai was gone. The two never spoke of their company through the holiday again. It became a night to forget.