Chapter Text
Coming home was like coming down from a high, highly reminiscent of the times when Yuu found the house all to himself. His parents had a stash of alcoholic beverages, so he took full advantage. There was something magical about forgetting, not just that he had a home, but who he was. There was a deep desire, etched as deep as the canals that littered his bones, to never return to this place. Home is where the heart lay, he figured the saying went, Yuu couldn’t exactly remember that. He did know, however, that if that was the case, either he never had a heart or this wasn’t home.
After years of strife and misgivings, he wondered if maybe both were correct.
Still, he entertained himself, thinking back to the events of earlier today. Ryuu went on a tangent about the ethics behind proper hygiene and maintenance, accentuating the facts with expressions and gestures to match. Asahi clung to his small paper pad, scribbling away. Yuu still couldn’t remember what the original intent of the night was, but he found himself giving that less thought than he did earlier that morning. His brain chose to focus on the fact that he let himself remain bare, exposed, bags under his eyes and healing marks visible.
And yet all Asahi did was smile, turn a light crimson color in time with attention being drawn to him, and stutter a healthy amount.
There was no commentary, nothing to suggest he cared in a negative fashion. Big toothy grins, fluttering eyelashes.
Yuu chewed on a thumbnail.
His other hand gripped tightly on the strap of his bag. It was far too late to think about something that made his gut twist uncomfortably, especially in light of how absolutely tired Yuu was.
Fingers brushed tentatively over the blonde and black locks that slapped lightly against his forehead, Yuu sighing aloud. If his brain chose to retain any of the thoughts that plagued him tonight, he’d try to spare the energy to interpret them in the coming days. For now, all he sought was refuge, the comfort of his covers, ignoring the little sparks that came off him as he walked.
Yuu dragged his feet up the short steps to his front door, pursing his lips when he found that the front door had been left ajar again. The lights were on on the inside, the TV could be heard blaring from the outside, illuminating a dark inside in a sheen of pale whites and blues. He tread carefully, finding it hard to swallow as he crept toward the open door.
“Yuu.”
The voice caused Yuu to instinctively recoil, the hairs on his back and neck standing up.
A figure looked in the living room, standing tall as it made its way over toward him. He always hated how much taller Nao was than him. Yuu also hated how she could come and go whenever she wanted. The privilege of having a key to the residence, one that Yuu was going to have to revoke, take her key and toss it into the ocean. Again.
“Mom and Dad said you’d probably be gone all night.”
Yuu turned his head away, refusing to make eye contact, “Just let me get to my room, Nao.”
“Oh, now he actually wants to be in his room, does he? That’s cute. You must’ve had a real good time if you actually want to be here,” Nao teased, eyes glinting.
“I–,” Yuu hissed out a haggard breath through grit teeth, “Just want to go to sleep.”
“Where were you? Huh?”
Yuu screwed his eyes shut, “Please..”
“Come on, Yuu-chan,” She sing-sung, “Tell your loving big sister just what you were doing out so late.”
Yuu whipped his head back up to face her directly, “ It’s none of your business, step off,” He growled, digging his nails into his thighs.
“Now he’s getting defensive,” She said in mock shock, “It must have been real nice then. Did you finally get yourself a girlfriend? Better hope she doesn’t come to her senses.”
Yuu took in a sharp breath, lips pressed into a fine line. His head hurt. His heart sped up to match the unbearable pulsing in his head. Blood roared in his ears, body feeling as though it was tumbling down a steep embankment. Yuu just wanted to rest, lay down on the floor in his mess of blankets and clothing. Yuu thought he had earned it, especially for having his homework done for the following day instead of an hour before his class began.
Or maybe he was bitter, realizing that the answer to Nao’s statement was no. There was no girlfriend, no one to hope that they would eventually come to their senses. Nao sounded so sure, and he couldn’t even find himself able to fend off against that. How could he? No one was ever going to see what he himself knew wasn’t there.
Yuu didn’t feel like dealing with this right now.
The breath he had been holding escaped his body, his insides deflating like a balloon as he turned to walk away from the front door.
Nao sounded offended, “Excuse me, Yuu, we were having a conversation.”
“And I decided to end it,” He replied simply, body moving on auto-pilot, “I’ll be back home tomorrow night.”
“And what if Mom and Dad find out?” He could feel her displeasure rake over his skin like needles, doing his best to ignore it.
“They don’t care. They haven’t seen me more than twice in the last three weeks.”
She muttered something, but Yuu didn’t hear it. He didn’t want to respond anyway. His focus was on finding the nearest station before the trains stopped running for the night and heading into town. He had enough money to last him the night, then he’d take the train back and head to school.
It didn’t take long for the station to come into view, Yuu sifted through his pockets for his pass. There was nothing but the soft chirp of bugs, the occasional flying insect that clung for dear life onto the fluorescent lights above. The area didn’t look too hospitable at night, but Yuu had come to learn not to fear it. Even in his most weakened state, he found himself on the platform and felt no fear.
Not from the station itself, or it’s inhabitants.
The bug, the lights, the man that sat off alone, quietly strumming his guitar as he walked past.
That very same man that decided to speak up when Yuu was a few steps away from him.
“Oi, aren’t you a little young to be hanging around here by yourself so late?” The man asked.
Yuu turned around to get a good look at him. He looked small in an over-sized coat, shaggy, long black hair curtained his eyes partially. Beard, guitar, he almost looked like a hermit. If it wasn’t for the fact he spoke with clarity, Yuu might have assumed he was just a random drunk.
He narrowed his eyes at the stranger, stress and lack of sleep making him irate and bold, “I’m not sure you have much room to comment, Scruffy-san.”
The older man let out a laugh, giving the guitar situated on his lap another brush of his fingers, a light singular tune ringing in the air, “You’re probably right, I have no room to pry,” He said with a smile, “Call me Saaki, by the way.”
Yuu quirked a brow, resisting the urge to smile in the light of being right, “No, I didn’t think so, Saaki-san,” He agreed wholeheartedly with a nod, fingers fiddling with the shoulder strap of his bag.
“How about this then, might I ask where you’re headed instead?” Saaki said bemusedly, though his tone lacked any real venom to add to the amusement.
Yuu chose to oblige
“To town.”
“Is something interesting happening in town?”
“No,” Yuu shook his head, “Nothing interestin’. Where are you headed, Saaki-san?”
“Me? I’m headed home,” Saaki answered, Yuu canting his head to the side in curiosity.
The older man caught Yuu’s expression, laughing once again, this time louder than the first, but the sound deep all the same, “Y’look like you don’t believe me. Not that I can really blame you when I look like this. I can only expect to be judged.”
Yuu felt a stone or two dislodge themselves, falling into the black ocean. His lips pursed briefly, deciding a stranger was a better place to pick up and toss rocks to–easier to–than someone whom already knew him. A stranger meant he never had to see them again, nothing more than a passing face in a sea of bodies.
“Saaki-san. You have a home?”
“Yes. I do,” He said proudly, eyes filling with a soft emotion Yuu couldn’t quite place. One that made his stomach twist as he went on, “And a son to go with that home, a very bumbling son.”
“Is that why you asked me where I was going? Do I remind you of your son?” Yuu pressed on, earning yet another chuckle as Saaki shook his head.
“No, no. Not exactly. My son and you look vastly different. I was speaking more in reference to myself.”
That caught Yuu off guard, “How come?”
“When I was younger, I liked to frequent stations in the middle of the night for no real reason. A rebel, I suppose. I liked to think of them as my great escape, at the time,” Saaki explained briefly, “I’ve been out at this hour for much of my life after my son was born. You don’t normally see young people here, unless they’re looking for a great escape of their own.”
Yuu hummed thoughtfully, rubbing a hand over his forearm, “Sometimes a great escape is what you need.”
Saaki went on to strike another cord, “Absolutely, but everyone must eventually come back home.”
Yuu scrutinized the older man under the pale lights that illuminated the platform, a judgmental stare. Saaki only smiled in return, unfazed by Yuu’s apparent distaste.
“Even on days where I feel the need to escape, I remember my son. He’s taller than me, much stronger, and someone could probably confuse him for my brother, but he’s still just a boy. A boy that rests his hope with me, and truly makes that home, home. I imagine you might also have someone that would very much like to see you in the morning.”
At that, Yuu thought back to Rei, the youngest of the Nishinoya children.. How eager she was to help him with the foundation for his face on days he couldn’t be bothered to get it on right. She even snuck snacks into his room for him when the whole family was home but she knew Yuu wouldn’t be leaving his room any time soon. Even on days where he felt like he was going to suffocate, she was there. She made home feel like home, just like Ryuu did.
Ryuu, who would probably kill him if he found out that Yuu didn’t at least come over to his place after his brief spat with Nao. At least until Nao left. Rei would understand then, she was small, but she wasn’t stupid. Yuu went as far as to consider her brighter than anyone he knew.
Then there was the budding sphere that contained another name. It was scrawled in illegible lettering, but he didn’t have to read it to know who it belonged to. A fleeting burst of cool, just like the ice cream from the fridge. Concrete blips of bright white happiness over a sea of dark. Something Yuu couldn’t understand, yes, but not all of it. There were segments he already knew, senses of familiarity, it was all he needed for now.
Yuu stepped closer, sitting down next to Saaki, who looked down at him with an understanding he didn’t know a human could possess. The power of strangers, he found, someone who would bring another blip, something to tide him over. Something to help Yuu continue on.
He’d head to Ryuu’s house in an hour or two.
“Saaki-san?”
“Yeah, kiddo?” The older man responded, Yuu smiling softly up at him, gesturing at the instrument in his hands.
“Can you play a song on that guitar?”