Chapter Text
"Should we go check on Doyoung? He looks like he's sulking." Surprisingly it was Yuta who had suggested this and Taeyong seemed somewhat hesitant before he nods, pulling Yuta with him towards where the black-haired boy sat.
"Having fun?" The boy asks, looking at the two, a tired smile on his lips.
"Yeah, we are." Yuta replies awkwardly, looking over at Taeyong who had a warm look on his face.
"Doyoungie! If you're tired, we can just go home and watch a movie." Taeyong says, wrapping his arms around Doyoung's waist and leaning his head on the boy's shoulder, looking at Yuta for assurance to which Yuta shrugs. It’s not like he’s be invited if Doyoung does decide to go back. His opinion is irrelevant here.
"I don't want to ruin your night. You two seem to be having a great time together. It's okay." Doyoung assures, but there was something about the way he looked at Taeyong that made Yuta angry and bothered, making him regret his own actions over and over.
"No! It was me who wanted you to come and you look like you'd rather take a biology exam than spend another minute here. Let's all have fun together!" Taeyong pouts, using his puppy eyes to win the other over. Doyoung sighs, apologetic.
"Where's Johnny and Jaehyun?" Yuta questions, finally noticing the absence of his other friends while also trying to distract himself from the fire burning in his chest.
"Johnny went back after he got enough for the report and Jaehyun got drunk so Jungwoo took him back to his dorm." Doyoung informs, looking over at Yuta. The Japanese nods in acknowledgment and falls silent the rest of the way.
______________________
"Yo! Are we really gonna watch the conjuring now?" Mark asks, slightly shuddering at the thought of ghosts. It was almost 1 PM when the older ones had gotten back and had insisted on watching a movie. He agreed since there wasn't really anything to do and Haechan also seemed excited at the idea of having a movie night.
He settles himself next to Haechan and grins to himself when the younger one shifts closer, resting his head on the older one's shoulder.
"Yes." Doyoung replies, scooting away from Yuta who was sporting a sour expression on his face. Johnny happily accepts him and cuddles him into his chest, making Doyoung groan in annoyance.
"Johnny! Doyoung is mine." Taeyong aggressively juts his bottom lip and points at Johnny accusingly to which Johnny responds by sticking his tongue out mockingly.
"Yuyu, look." Taeyong insists, turning Yuta's head towards Johnny who had Doyoung in a head lock. The latter was struggling under the giant man's hold, hitting Johnny's arms to get them off.
"You have me, flower." Yuta says, taking Taeyong's hands in his and intertwining them. He places a small kiss on the back of Taeyong's hand and operates the remote with the other.
"Yeah, you have Yuta so Doyoung is mine." Johnny playfully adds, placing a kiss on Doyoung's cheek just for the sake of annoying Taeyong. Meanwhile, Doyoung was still struggling to get out of Johnny's hold, desperately reaching out to Mark and Haechan for help only to get ignored by them.
Taeyong simply huffs and rolls his eyes at Johnny's childish behavior before climbing onto Yuta's lap and laying his head on the boy's chest, happily sighing when the boy's hands wrapped around him.
Johnny takes this as a challenge and pulls Doyoung into his lap, forcing the boy to calm down and just enjoy the attention for the night.
"Our friendship keeps getting weirder and weirder every single day." Doyoung comments, cuddling into Johnny's hold nonetheless. A fresh scent of mild dew enters his nostrils which makes him look up at Johnny questioningly, "Are you wearing deodorant?"
"Yes. Now shut up and act like my plushie. Quiet and squishy." Johnny grunts, tightening his grip around Doyoung.
"But-"
"Plushies don't talk, Doyoung." Johnny scolds, hitting him playfully.
"You're being really weird right now." Doyoung says anyway. He secretly loved the way Johnny was holding him as it felt very comfortable and soft and he just wanted to fall asleep in the boy's warmth instead of watching the movie but his ego was getting in his way.
“I'll let you go if you're uncomfortable." Johnny says, seriously but a little hurt nonetheless. He wanted to lash out and complain about how Taeyong clings to him so much and hugs him all the time while Johnny rarely ever gets to but he keeps quiet, not wanting to ruin the happy and playful atmosphere. Doyoung immediately panics and shakes his head. "No, it's comfy. Was just wondering why." He tries to hide the blush that was growing on his cheeks by pressing his face against Johnny's chest but fails when Johnny shifts his arms to hold Doyoung by the waist.
"I just wanted to hold something."
"Stop fucking flirting and watch the damn movie!" Haechan yells suddenly, annoyed at the whispers already.
"Yes, Listen to Haechan. Stop flirting Johnny!" Taeyong adds, glaring at the boy.
"Hyung, I swear to God-"
"Haechanie, it’s okay. It's nice seeing them all bicker like this after a long time."
"Only because you say so, Mark. Only because you say so." Haechan sends a threatening glare towards his brothers before turning towards the TV screen.
"Damn. Haechan's whipped." Yuta snickers.
"That's it." Haechan grabs a pillow from beside him and smacks Yuta right on his face with it.
"Haechan!"
Doyoung knows that Taeyong likes him. He’s asked for a kiss for god’s sale! That was private. He has the privacy to deal with his feelings within the comfort of their room. Now, every time he made a comment about Taeyong or even said anything remotely related to the boy, the others would immediately start teasing him and make flirty gestures and poke fun about it and if he were to be honest, it was starting to get to him. First it was only a few nudges and teasing smiles here and there directed at him by his inner circle of friends but now half the campus knows about it and they also surprisingly have people supporting their companionship. He's not sure what to make of it.
One thing he knows for sure is that whether he reciprocates Taeyong's feelings or not is his business and nobody can force him into this apparently popular 'ship' for the sake of other's weird desires.
So for now Doyoung ignores the way Taeyong's body presses against his back as the boy circles his arms around Doyoung's waist.
"Are you nervous?" Taeyong asks, lips dangerously close to Doyoung's ears. Doyoung leans away.
"Kind of. My parents are visiting." Doyoung replies, grabbing onto his strawberry ChapStick. Taeyong presses himself closer and rests his head on the boy's shoulder letting Doyoung relish happily in Taeyong's scent. It was really comforting, the way Taeyong smelled.
"Would they watch my performance too?" Taeyong questions, eyes looking into Doyoung's through the mirror. Hope; that's what Doyoung saw.
"I would think so. My mom holds high regard for you." Doyoung smiles comfortingly, sensing Taeyong's sadness. He guides Taeyong to his bed and grabs hold of his phone before he settles down next to his best friend.
"Why?" Doyoung squints at his screen for a second to check his notifications and then turns to Taeyong, a soft understanding smile on his face.
Doyoung knows the exact thoughts circling around Taeyong's head right now. He's experienced the boy's insecurities beforehand; the desperation to matter to people just because. It was Taeyong's biggest desire - to be loved without any reason. To simply matter just because. It hadn't made sense to him or Johnny before and maybe it doesn't have to. Doyoung likes how Taeyong looks for things in people that most people don't or how charming these things make him. If it were someone else, he would have probably found it weird but it was so weirdly Taeyong and he loves it.
"I don't know. She just likes you. She once told me you're a very nice boy with good manners." Doyoung snorts, in playful disbelief. He opens his notifications and reads through them, swiping out everything except his messages.
A few minutes of silence pass between them. Doyoung focuses on replying to his messages while Taeyong plays with the penguin plushie on Doyoung's bed.
Taeyong breaks the silence, "Kun said he wants to come." He looks up at Doyoung with worried eyes and hugs the plushie to his chest for comfort.
"Isn't it good?" Doyoung absentmindedly asks. Johnny had messaged him something about the finals and he was having a hard time reading through the whole thing.
"It's nice." Taeyong says, timidly. He runs his fingers through the plushies fur, watching as the colors went from dull to vibrant.
"I've never had someone from family watch me. It's scary." Taeyong pouts, using the Penguin's flippers to nudge Doyoung's knee. Doyoung looks up from his phone and finally looks at Taeyong. The boy was drowning in his sweater, only the tips of his fingers poking out through the sleeves. Surprisingly, Taeyong had worn actual joggers today rather than the shorts he prefers to wear at home. Doyoung smiles to himself at how cute some if Taeyong's habits were. It was endearing.
"You're finally admitting he's family, huh?" Doyoung teases, grinning big. " Judging from what I know about him, he'd be very excited to see you on stage like a proud mother hen."
"He deserves it. I gave him so much shit for something that isn't even his fault." Taeyong says, making the penguin dance on Doyoung's lap. "I'm kinda mean, aren't I?"
"You are." Doyoung agrees, earning a soft slap to his back. He pays no mind to it and counties scrolling through his messages until he finds one that intrigues him.
"When did you and Hoshi get so close?" Doyoung questions, lifting his eyebrow for more effect.
Taeyong furrows his eyebrows in confusion at Doyoung's question. He opens his phone and goes back to what Doyoung had found and raises his eyebrows in further confusion at the dubious text message.
"Hoshi and I are academic rivals. He challenged me when we first met at a business meeting between our families. We placed a bet and our dads just hyped us on. It was supposed to be a joke at first but somehow it developed into something much worse when our dads started going against each other. Now he won't let me back down." Taeyong explains, shrugging at the end as if it wasn't a big deal.
"And you didn't bother to tell me this because?" Doyoung asks, folding his arms across his chest in an intimidating manner.
"I didn't think you wanted to know such stuff about me." Taeyong smiles, making cute sounds as he played with the penguin with childish enthusiasm. Now, how could Doyoung get mad at him if he was acting this cute? But he does, this cold heartless monster.
"I seriously can't believe you! It is a big deal, Taeyong. Of course, I should know these things. You're going against Winwin with business involvement! It's politics. This is a serious matter. If you fail, who knows what the Kwons would do?" Doyoung yells, frustration building up in those pretty almond eyes of his.
"I don't care, Doyoung. I don't owe them anything." Taeyong answers, inching closer to the other boy to place his hand on his shoulder.
Doyoung sighs deeply. He didn't like yelling at Taeyong but he just makes it so hard not to. " Taeyong, you have to win this. They'd drag your name to the ground if you don't. Take this seriously please."
"What do I get if I win this?" Taeyong asks, sitting cross legged next to Doyoung so that his knees are against Doyoung's thighs.
"What do you mean? You'd get to stay at the top of everything. The school will be happy for you, your parents would be happy. I'm sure your dad would dance with joy and spoil you to the brim."
"I don't want any of that though." Taeyong frowns. He looks down at his own hands, disappointment clear in his tone.
"What do you want then?" Doyoung asks, hoping to hell and heavens that Taeyong wouldn't dare say his name. He doesn't want his life to become a real K-drama.
"I want to be happy." Taeyong looks into his eyes as he says it.
Well, damn.
Doyoung winces.
6:40 PM
Doyoung had been immersed in his books almost the entire day. After the small conversation he'd had with Taeyong, the boy had wordlessly retired to his own room, the air in the room; suffocating.
Around 6, he leaves his room and calls for Taeyong so they could leave to the community hall for whatever announcement the others had for them.
"I'll be out in a minute." Taeyong answers back from behind his doors.
Doyoung decided to inform Haechan about their whereabouts in case the boy looked for them later. He knocks on the boy's door and waits, only to be disappointed with a heavy silence.
"Haechanie?" Doyoung yells out loud, placing his hands on his hips, ready to nag at the younger for taking to long. But when he doesn't get an answer, he starts to worry.
He immediately rings Haechan and tries to Listen to his ringtone through the door to check if Haechan was indeed inside. A faint sound of music emerges from inside the room, confirming Haechan's presence or at least his phone's.
"What-" Taeyong begins to ask, emerging from his room only to get cut off by Doyoung.
"Get Haechan's key card!!!" Doyoung orders, frantically calling their dorm security. Meanwhile, Taeyong rushes to the box where they kept their spare cards and brings it to Doyoung.
Doyoung swipes the card through the scanner and bursts into the room, followed by Taeyong. When they don't find him inside, Taeyong rushes to the shared bathroom and pushes it open, accidentally breaking the knob.
Taeyong's heart breaks at the sight before him.
Doyoung rushes past him and falls to the ground next to Haechan's almost lifeless body, bleeding through his wrists; turning the entire tub of water a bloody crimson.
"Haechanie please please." Doyoung sobs, lifting the boy out from the tub into his arms as gently as he could. He slaps Haechan's face a few times, trying to get him to open his eyes. "What is this? What did you do? Why-"
Taeyong slowly steps closer to the other two, trembling hands dialing the emergency numbers. He places his phone to his ear and answers the officer's questions as best as he can in his own mind numbing state. Once the call ends, he visibly deflates, knees buckling, unable to hold on any longer. His body gives up and he willingly collapses down to the floor, eyes fixed on the little one.
"Will he be okay? Taeyong, please tell me. Tell me if he'll be fine. He's not even opening his eyes!" Doyoung pleads desperately, shaking Taeyong's arms with his free hand. The black-haired boy was a sobbing mess, big drops of tears flowing past his flushed cheeks as his hands cradled the younger one in his arms.
Taeyong doesn't bother to assure Doyoung, ignoring the pain stabbing at the back of his head - his own memories starting to cloud his mind. Instead he peers into the tub and sinks his hand into the water and searches around for a bit. When he finds what he's looking for, he grabs it and spills the contents of it into his hands.
"Lift him. lift him! Fuck." Taeyong rushes abruptly, pulling Haechan up along with Doyoung.
"He took my Dothiepin!" Taeyong cries out in trepidation, lifting Haechan's body outside. The security catches up with them and soon they send him off in an ambulance.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Taeyong curses, bringing his shirt over to his face to rub harshly against his cheeks. " This is all my fault. I should have Listened more, noticed more, cared more! He came to me and I failed him. He trusted me, Doyoung! It's my fault-"
They're rushed to somewhere, adults swarming all over the place, talking over each other. It's obvious that they know about it now. Doyoung could visualize the headlines in his mind tomorrow morning and he wishes he could stop, stop reminding himself of this terrible ordeal.
Johnny is here now, hands on Taeyong's shoulder, yelling something at the other boy.
They're fighting. Words flying everywhere. Doyoung wishes they would stop, wishes he could see Haechan smiling up at him and a pain shoots up his heart.
"Doyoung?" Yuta's questioning tone startles him from behind and he flinches, scared eyes meeting concerned ones. Forgetting the low lying bad blood between them, Doyoung crashes into Yuta's body, clinging to the Japanese boy for any kind of comfort the boy could possibly offer.
"Are you okay?" Yuta's voice was too soft, like a warm blanket on a cold night- comfort, he's comforting. "What happened?" There's other people around them but Doyoung couldn't bring himself to care. All his mind could do at that moment was fixate helplessly on Haechan's lifeless body in the bathtub, head tilted to the side, eyes rolled back and blood seeping through the sides.
Haechan could die.
Doyoung's hiccuping painfully and he's suddenly aware of it, throat scratchy and dry from a the crying he's been doing. Exhaustion creeps upon his body, weighing upon his bones. "Haechanie." He ends up whispering, clutching hard at Yuta's clothes, fisting them and bunching the material under his fingers. Warm.
"Doyoung, I'm going to go get Taeyongil hyung so he can drive us to the hospital. Is that okay?" Yuta says, voice assuring and understanding. He waits for Doyoung to respond and when he receives an affirmative response, he slowly unwraps himself from Doyoung's hold earning a tired whine from the rabbit boy.
"Come here." Suddenly Yuta's pulling him and before he could register everything around him, he's pushed down to sit next to someone. The unknown person takes his hand into his own and the familiarity of the touch showers him with a sense of security and relief. "Just hold onto each other, okay? I'll be back in a second."
And then Yuta's leaving, his footsteps echoing down the empty parking lot.
"Will Haechan be okay?" Doyoung repeats his unanswered question, willful with a stubborn need for answers. He didn't want to ask this question. It was mean, cruel even- for Taeyong to be confronted with things that he knows still haunt him, but he still finds himself expecting an answer and he feels bitter, disgusted at his own selfishness.
"I don't know." Is that Guilt?
"Did you not notice any of the signs?" Doyoung asks, unaware of the growing thickness in Taeyong's chest. There's a curious silence that burgeons between them, trapping them in an uncomfortable bubble devoid of oxygen.
"Didn't you?" Taeyong shouts abruptly, gelid. Then in a flash, it's gone. Kind eyes returning, replacing any trace of anger they seemed to hold just seconds prior. "M'sorry."
Doyoung wonders how many times he'd missed these hot flashes of temper that seemed to capture the older boy in what he assumes as surreptitious situations. They're like the wild crashes of thunder on a stormy night, appearing and leaving at the speed of light long before he could process what had transpired.
"Let's go see our little fox!" Yuta's faux cheerful tone does nothing to dismiss the suffocating Tension in the air, both boys stuck in a civil war within their own minds.
Taeyong's hand slip away first and Doyoung finds himself missing the touch almost instantly.
Haechan was okay. He hadn't taken the pills. He had lost a lot of blood but they had gotten him medical assistance on time and now he was back at the hospital resting. They hadn't been able to see him yet as they had to attend the meeting for the carnival next morning and were escorted ( against their wishes) out of the hospital by their teachers. However, Haechan was kind enough to leave them a text message about his situation presumably after he'd woken up.
From Haechan:
Hyungs, I'm sorry for scaring you.
Please don't be mad at me.
They told me I have to be kept under observation for a while.
It's kinda scary. :(
All the best for the performance!
I'm sad that I won't get to watch it live.
Come see me soon!
Doyoung almost freaked out when Haechan's name popped up on his phone, fingers shivering with nervousness as he slid the notification open. The message put their frenzied minds to rest, relieved that their little sunshine was fine.
Taeyong had been the most worried out of all of them, to the point that he refused to go to sleep or eat anything until they received the green signal to Haechan's state. The boy was stricken with guilt, having been through a similar experience he understood the depth of emotions one had to go through in order to revert to such a horrible decision.
By evening, everyone had calmed down. The school was yet to reveal any information about the incident and Johnny had personally asked his father to keep the matter quiet until Haechan and his family consent to it. But people have noticed, especially since Taeyong and Johnny were involved.
Doyoung and Johnny's parents were delighted to see their sons in costumes, complimenting them and teasing them simultaneously. To Taeyong's surprise, his friend's parents didn't leave him out in their affections, squishing his cheeks and offering him boxed of various sweets that he had to politely decline since he had go get ready for his own performance.
"Doyoungie?" Taeyong reaches out his hand towards the slightly taller man, mouth stuck in a small pout.
"Hmm?" Doyoung blinks back at him through the mirror where one of their classmates was helping him with his makeup.
"I'm scared. Kun said he's ten minutes away." Taeyong says, taking Doyoung's hand in his easily.
"It's okay to be scared, Taeyong. This is big for you." Doyoung squeezes his hand tightly before letting it go. "But try not to focus on Kun's existence so much."
"It's hard not to!" Taeyong whines, pathetically. He grabs Doyoung's hands again, seeking the other boy's comfort.
"Try to focus on your boyfriend then." The makeup girl remarks, grinning down at Taeyong. She moves adjacent to Doyoung to fix his hair so that now she's facing Taeyong who couldn't help but roll his eyes at the comment. She was obviously joking and Taeyong absolutely despised jokes like that.
On the other hand, Doyoung visibly flushes red, the discomfort on his face crystal clear under the bright lighting.
"Please refrain from making comments like that. We don't like it and it's disrespectful." Taeyong glares at her, the harshness in his tone enough to cut a stone. She gasps in shock, having not expected Taeyong to react negatively and apologizes quickly before leaving them alone.
"It's okay, Taeyong. Calm down." Doyoung says softly, getting up from his seat. " Now, I have a responsibility to Johnny to not fuck this up. He's dedicated a lot of time for this and I'm not planning on letting him down anytime soon. So I need you to focus on your performance and only that. Forget everyone else. You're the best dancer I know.( Don't let Ten know I said that. )You're more than capable of putting a graceful show out there. So just go and do it. It's going to be amazing, no matter what." Doyoung gives him a bright smile and nods at him reassuring before he leaves and Taeyong realizes he's absolutely foolishly ridiculously in love with Doyoung.