Chapter Text
The next morning was a struggle to just get out of bed, but this wasn’t Chris’ first failed relationship and he refused to let himself sink into depression.
He went for a run, to the gym, spent the rest of the morning working and then—there was somebody at his door.
Foolishly, his first thought was of Luke—Sunday had always been their day—and he shot to his feet only to slump and sigh, hand passing over his face.
Collecting himself he went to answer the door, sadness morphing into pleased surprise at the sight of Rory.
“Rory! Hey, it’s good to see you! I thought you were still in Greece.” He hugged her warmly, kiss pressed on top of her head. “Your hair looks amazing by the way. You do something new? And you look like you actually got some sun—”
“Dad.” Rory pulled away to look at him seriously. “Stop.”
“What? I can’t compliment you anymore?” Chris teased, ushering her inside and closing the door. “Haven’t seen you all summer—didn’t even know you were back yet—” He added pointedly. “—and I’m not allowed to say a few nice—and true—things? What is this world coming to?”
Rory just turned to look at him with the same serious look as before, not moved in the slightest.
“Oh-kay. Not a time for jokes. What’s up, kid? Something wrong?”
“Mom told me that you and your boyfriend broke up.”
Chris froze.
“Dad, why didn’t you call me?”
“You were in Greece.” Chris pointed out, taking the opportunity to change the subject. “You want some coffee? I want some coffee. I’ll make us some coffee.”
His attempt to flee was foiled by Rory not being a standard guest and following him to the kitchen, arms folding as she watched him putter nervously around.
“You should’ve called. This man was a big part of your life and you wanted him to meet me and I wanted to meet him and now, all of a sudden, he’s gone—poof! Just like that!”
“I’m sorry. I probably should’ve called.” Chris conceded as he got out mugs. “It’s not that big a deal—”
“Dad.” Rory interrupted him, upset voice enough to still Chris’ hands as he kept his back to her. “You loved him. It’s a big deal.”
Chris swallowed. “Rory—”
“I didn’t even get to give him the shovel talk or or tell him embarrassing stories about you—a chapter of your life has been closed and I didn’t even get a chance to read it.” Rory deflated. “Sorry. This makes it sound like I miss him more than you and I don’t even know what colour hair he had. I’m just trying to—” She was waving her hands around like Chris knew she always did when she was frazzled.
“I know what you’re doing. And I know that you’re upset that I didn’t call and give you a chance to be there for me.” Chris said, finally turning so he could give his daughter a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry, Rory.”
Rory’s lip wobbled and suddenly she was hugging Chris tight enough to bruise. “No I’m sorry, I came here to be here for you and instead I’ve just been like a brat.”
“You aren’t a brat.” Chris said wrapping his arms around her and kissing her head.
“Yes I am. I’ve been here for what, a whole five minutes and I haven’t even asked you how you’re doing and instead I’ve just come and put salt on your broken heart—you should disown me.” Rory told him gravely, burying her head against his shoulder.
“Eh, think I’ll give you one more chance.” Chris teased.
Rory was quiet and then she pulled away enough to look him in the eyes. “Mom said you were heartbroken.”
Chris didn’t know what to say to that, but his face must have given some of his sorrow away because Rory’s expression turned tearfully sympathetic and then she was hugging him again.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Thanks, kid.” He murmured, choked up.
When they both were able to collect themselves, Chris letting Rory take over making the coffee, she spoke.
“Hey, I know what might cheer you up. You should come to Stars Hollow. We can go to Luke’s and get waffles and pancakes and coffee.” Busy measuring out coffee, she missed the colour drain from Chris’ face. “He has the best waffles. And pancakes. Hm. Actually, he has the best everything. And I’ll look really sad so that Luke will give us extra syrup and whipped cream. He’ll act all grouchy like a bear but that’s just how he is. Even though Mom said he’s been even more yelly and stuff since I left—oh my god, Dad, you look like you just saw a ghost!”
Rory hurriedly went over and held onto his arm like she’d be able to keep him up if he collapsed.
Chris waved her off. “I’m okay. Didn’t eat any breakfast.” And it wasn’t even a lie.
“See? I told you, you need breakfast foods. And the best place to get them even at lunch time is at Luke’s.”
“Rory, I can’t—”
“Oh come on, Dad! It’ll be just what you need—waffles and your lovely daughter that you haven’t seen in a month.” Rory gave him puppy dog eyes.
“I—”
“Please?” Seeing he was going to protest again she hurriedly continued, voice coaxing. “Dad, you know how much you love waffles and how much you love me, it’ll be a day filled with love, now how can you say no that? Or to this face?” She somehow managed to look more pitiful and forlorn.
Chris frowned and then sighed and hung his head, heart squeezing painfully as he thought about how he was going to have to pretend that he and Luke were still only vague acquaintances and not…
“Fine.” He couldn’t disappoint his kid.
Rory hugged him. “We’re going to have a great day! No being sad or thinking about sad things allowed.”
If only it was that easy, Chris hugged her back and tried not to think about sad things.
The time seemed to fly by and suddenly they were in Stars Hollow and Chris was being discreetly gawked at as he drove to Lorelai’s house to leave his car, Rory dragging him inside to wait as she changed into an apparently more diner friendly outfit. Whatever that meant.
Unfortunately, that meant that when Lorelai came back home, he was trapped.
“Chris! To what do I owe this pleasure?” She asked giving him a hug and then looking at him with wary curiosity that didn’t feel quite right. “Is something wrong? Where’s Rory?”
Chris narrowed his eyes. “Interesting you should ask. You know, you never told me she was back.”
“Didn’t I? Oh. Well. Forget my head if it wasn’t stuck on by coffee rings.” Lorelai said quickly. “Anyway. So you guys talked then?” She was prying as subtly as she could and still failing.
Chris sighed. “Yeah. We talked. Would’ve been nice to have some warning.”
“Hey, that’s what I told her, but she swore me to secrecy—” Lorelai started to say one hand upraised. “Swear to god.”
“Someone’s talking about me!” Rory yelled from upstairs. “Mom, we’re going to go to Luke’s and drown Dad’s sorrows in syrup!”
Lorelai grimaced. “Uh-oh.”
Chris frowned, confused. “Uh-oh?”
“Uh-oh?” Rory repeated as she came downstairs, outfit changed and hair pulled back.
“Rory, you know I told you Luke has been all moody and like a waiting volcano wearing plaid, I just don’t think that he’d appreciate seeing Chris—”
“They got along fine at Grandma’s party.” Rory pointed out, frowning a bit as Chris coughed.
“Sorry. Dust.” He explained, willing his face to stay a normal colour at the mention of the party.
“Which was a weird aberration, I agree—”
“You used the word aberration, I’m impressed.” Rory interrupted, impressed.
“Hey, I can read the dictionary the same as anyone else.” Lorelai said with mock defensiveness. “But, Rory—”
“They’ll be fine.”
“Your mom might be right, kid. Why don’t we just spend our day somewhere else—”
“No can do, mister. I promised you waffles and you are getting waffles.” Rory said determinedly.
“I can make him waffles.” Lorelai suggested.
“Real waffles, not Eggos.”
“Ouch.” Lorelai said, really offended now even though, yes, okay, she had a point.
“Come on, Dad, Luke’s never mad at me. You coming, Mom?”
“Oh, well. Agh, fine. But only because you need a buffer.”
“And because you need more coffee.” Rory added as she opened the front door, her parents following her.
“Pfft. Yeah, well. That’s a given.”
Chris let Lorelai’s and Rory’s chatting wash over him, only actively participating when required as his feet started to feel heavier and heavier the closer they got to the diner. To Luke.
When the diner in question finally came in view, he had to give himself a pep talk just to make it to the door.
“Come on, Dad, this is the perfect time because the lunch rush is already over—” Rory was saying as she pushed open the door and led the way inside.
And there was Luke. Arguing with a customer and looking pissed and—the best thing Chris had seen in weeks.
“—asked for sunny side up eggs.” Kirk said.
“And?” Luke growled.
“And I got scrambled.”
“So?”
“So I don’t think I should have to pay for them.”
“Are you out of your mind? You come and you tell me, after you eat the eggs, that they were the wrong sort of damn eggs and expect me to just let you have them for free? No way!”
“But my order was wrong.” Kirk pressed on, apparently blind to the danger he was in.
Luke exhaled as he gathered what shreds of patience he had left. “No one told you to eat the eggs, Kirk.”
“I was hungry.”
“Then you pay for them! You eat them, you pay for them, it’s that damn simple! Jesus Christ—does anyone else have a problem?!” As Luke looked around angrily for anyone to dare to say ‘yes’, customers suddenly avoiding his gaze and studying either their menus or their meal, his eyes caught on the three newest patrons of his diner.
His gaze flickered over to Chris, posture stiff and expression going through a gamut of emotions, Chris finding himself holding his breath.
“Hi, Luke!” Rory said brightly.
“Uh—oh, Rory. Hey.” Luke’s gaze was firmly on Rory now, his expression distracted but pleased as he gave Rory a hug. “When you’d get back?”
“Just a few hours ago.”
“Only a few hours? Jesus, you should be home sleeping off the jetlag.”
“It’s better to fight against it.” Rory told him seriously. “With waffles and pancakes.”
Luke gave her an exasperated but fond look, and patted her arm. “Extra syrup and whip cream coming up.”
“How come she gets extra?” Kirk questioned.
“Get out, Kirk.” Luke snapped at him without turning around.
“But I haven’t paid yet—”
“It’s on the house, beat it.”
“I—”
Luke glared at him.
“I’m going.” Kirk hurried away.
“Three orders of welcome home waffles and pancakes coming up.” Luke disappeared into the back as they sat down at a nearby table, Chris finally aware of the eyes that had been on him since he saw Luke. His gaze slid over to Lorelai who was watching him with her mouth faintly pursed and her head slightly tilted.
That is not good. “So, Ror, tell me what you got up to in Greece.”
As Rory happily talked about her trip, gushing about the culture and the people and the academic programs, Chris acted normal and not like seeing his ex was making him want to pass out or run.
“Here we go.” Luke brought over three plate and set them down, Rory’s and Lorelai’s with an obscene amount of whipped cream and Chris’ with sliced strawberries.
“Hey, why’d you put fruit on his?” Rory questioned immediately.
Working in a diner was hot work so Luke almost always had a slightly red face—or maybe that was because of anger—but Chris saw how his face got just a little bit redder at that.
“Sorry. Musta mixed up the order.” Luke muttered reaching to take the plate back.
Chris stopped him, hand raised protectively over the plate. “I actually like it better like this. Think I’ll steal it—since it’s already here and all.”
There was a beat of silence, Luke looking somewhere past Chris.
Giving a terse nod and a grunt, Luke left.
“Weird. Luke usually never messes up our orders—we’re like VIPS here.” Rory observed looking after Luke as she started digging in.
“Yeah, that’s pretty darn weird, isn’t it, Rory?” Lorelai put in slowly. “Kinda as weird as Luke letting Kirk go without paying. Isn’t that weird, Christopher?”
“I wouldn’t know. I’m just visiting Stars Hollow remember? I don’t keep up on the subtle nuances of its many denizens.” He quirked a smile at Rory. “I’ve been reading the dictionary too.”
Lorelai was suspiciously silent and for a moment all three just enjoyed the food and then she cleared her throat.
“Chris, you never told us the name of your boyfriend.”
“Mom! I promised Dad that today would be happy!” Rory admonished her.
“I get that, but maybe if he talked about him maybe he would be less sad. Whenever I go through a breakup it helps me.” Lorelai said very matter of factly, gaze returning to Chris.
“Dad, you don’t have to talk about—” She paused as Luke came over with the coffee. “Thanks, Luke.”
“Sure. Anything else?” Luke was directing his attention only at Rory and Lorelai.
“More coffee.” Lorelai joked, full cup in hand.
“Ha.” Luke said deadpan.
“Hey, Luke?”
About to leave, Luke looked at Lorelai questioningly. “Yeah?”
“I was just talking to Rory and Chris and we all agreed how funny—not funny haha but like funny weird—it was that you happened to mess up our order with another order that had a plate just the way Chris liked it.”
Chris almost choked on his coffee.
Luke stood unmoving for a moment and then spoke in an even voice. “It happens.”
“Oh yeah, of course.” Lorelai agreed. “But did you know that strawberries are Chris’ favourite fruit?”
Rory paused in her chewing, Chris trying to look completely unbothered by everything.
“That’s right, they are. You love strawberries, Dad.” Rory said after swallowing, expression curious. “Huh.”
“A lot of people love strawberries, Lore.” Chris tried to deter the woman but it was no good.
“Hey, what order did that come from?”
“What?”
“Oh you know the order that you mixed up with ours. Which table is for?” Lorelai looked around at the sparse customers. “Funny.” She said turning back to Luke. “Almost looks like everyone has their food already.”
Luke’s hands twitched.
“Huh. You’re right…but then what—” Rory broke off, eyes abruptly widening as they looked from Chris to Luke, her bite of pancake falling off her fork and back onto her plate with a swandive into the whipcream. “Oh my go—!”
“You know what might be fun, eating upstairs.” Luke practically dragged Rory and Lorelai from their seats, face pale.
“Oh, good idea, get us away from the crowd.” Lorelai said tightly, voice angry.
“Mom—Luke—”
Christopher gave Luke a hand and tried to force the heat away from his face as he felt curious eyes on his back as he ascended the stairs to Luke’s apartment.
The moment the door closed, Rory and Lorelai exploded.
“How could you not tell me that you’re gay?! How long, Luke? How long?”
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god—this is not happening! You—and you—oh my god.”
“Would you two cut it out?” Chris snapped as he saw that Luke was close to having a panic attack. “It’s none of your damn business if Luke is gay and if he didn’t want to tell you that is a decision that is his, not yours.”
“Uh, yes it is my business.” Lorelai countered. “My ex is dating my ex, both of whom used to be straighter than a very straight thing, and now Luke—Luke—is gay.” She said accusingly.
“I’m not!” Luke denied desperately.
“Oh. So you haven’t slept together?” Lorelai demanded.
“Oh, ew! I did not need that visual!” Rory interrupted looking a little green.
“Would you stop?” Chris glared at Lorelai. “You have no right to be pissed here. If anyone does it’s Luke who you probably just outed to the entire town!”
Luke looked sick and ran to the bathroom, door slamming behind him.
Lorelai at least looked a bit chastised at that, both her and Rory looking worriedly in Luke’s direction.
Before either of them could say anything, Chris stopped them with an upraised hand. “Don’t.”
Moving towards the bathroom and leaving them staring after him, he tried the bathroom door, relieved when it opened.
Luke was sitting on the edge of the tub with elbows on knees and head held in his hands.
Closing the door behind him, Chris hesitated and then took a step closer.
“I can get rid of them.”
He jumped like he hadn’t heard Chris come inside, head snapping up and showing a distraught expression that quickly turned to anger.
“Get out.”
“I already am.”
Confusion took over Luke’s face and then understanding passed briefly and then the anger was back.
“This isn’t a joke! You don’t have to live here with these people!”
“Neither do you.” Chris said seriously, heart aching for the man.
“Yes I do. This place is my home. I’m not going to leave for—”
“Me?” Chris said softly, hurt.
Luke’s hands curled and uncurled into fists, angry expression slipping. “That’s not—that’s not what I meant.”
“Isn’t it? Then why the hell did you break up with me?” Chris demanded, anger of his own rising.
“Because sneaking around was never going to be enough for you!” Luke exploded right back. “I was never going to be enough for you.”
“How can you say that?” Chris asked sharply, anger waning in light of this bizarre confession. “Luke—”
“I was never going to be like you, Christopher! You came out to everyone, damn their reactions—me? I hid. I didn’t even let you hold my stupid hand in public!” Luke told him, ashamed and angry with himself. His gaze softened, a hand starting to reach for Chris like he wanted to caress his jaw. “You—” His hand dropped, gaze turning sorrowful but determined. “You deserve someone who can love you all the time, not just behind closed doors.” He finished quietly.
Chris felt blown away, heart feeling like it was being twisted in half.
“When I broke things off, I told you that I couldn’t do it anymore. That still stands, Chris.” Luke said roughly looking away from him.
“…this is a hell of a way to tell me that you love me.” Chris said, voice more emotional than he wanted.
Luke looked at him, all deer in the headlights and looking seconds away from bolting.
Luckily, Chris was between him and the door so the instinctual step he took towards the nearest exit actually just brought him closer. Chris could work with that.
But the first touch of his fingers on Luke’s hands had Luke shying away him. “Christopher—” He whispered warningly.
“I know you’re scared, Luke, but maybe, together, we’ll be all right.” Chris told him softly, gently. “We’re behind closed doors now, don’t hide from me. Please, Luke.”
Luke squeezed his eyes shut, one hand taking off his cap as he ran an anxious hand through his hair. “And when the doors open?”
“You’ll have me. And I’ll have you.”
“What if that’s not enough?”
“What if it is?” Chris countered quietly.
Luke pressed his hand to his eyes and then looked at Chris, eyes bright with emotion. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered raggedly. “Not again.”
“Luke—”
“Chris—I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Feeling heartbroken again, hearing the finality in Luke’s words, Chris took a step back, eyes closing briefly.
“I’m sorry too. But…I understand, Luke.” He said once he felt he could keep his voice from cracking.
“Chris, don’t—don’t look like that.” Luke said wretchedly. “This way—it’s better for both us. I can stay in denial and you can find someone else.”
Chris laughed humourlessly. “Yeah. Sure.”
“You will.” Luke told him, face showing some pain at the thought even though he tried to cover it up. “It might take time, but you’ll move on.”
“I tried. Didn’t pan out. Too stuck on you.”
Something unpleasant curled in Luke’s gut. “You tried?”
“We broke up, remember?” Chris pointed out, hearing the jealous tone. “Forget it. I don’t want you changing your mind because you don’t want anyone else to have me, I want you to want me.”
“I do want you.” Luke told him sharply, jealousy curtailed at Chris’ hurt tone. “Jesus, Chris, I’m in love with you.”
Chris took another step back and shook his head, expression pained. “Stop saying that, it’s just making it harder.” He swiped at his eyes. “Lorelai and Rory are still out there, we should—”
“Damnit, Chris!” Luke tried to pace but the area was too small for more than a couple of steps in either direction. “You think this is easy for me? Got news for you, it’s no goddamn cakewalk! When I saw you downstairs, you know what my first thought was?” He demanded angrily, getting close Christopher with a finger jabbing at his chest. “God, you’re beautiful. And all I wanted was to reach out hold you because, god, Christopher, I missed you. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t.”
“What would’ve happened if you did?” Chris asked quietly.
Luke paced away from him again.
“No one who matters is going to care if you’re gay, Luke.” He said gently. “Not if they care about you.”
“They’ll look at me different. They’ll poke and they’ll prod and they’ll nose around and ask me a million questions when they aren’t staring like I’m some animal in a zoo.”
“And is that the end of the world?”
“Yes!”
“For who?!” Chris shouted back. “You? Living your life like you want to is the end of the world to you?”
“That isn’t what I meant!”
“That’s what it boils down to!”
“It has nothing to do with me!” Luke exploded, rounding on Chris.
“Seriously? Your sexuality has nothing to do with this?!”
“Yes! No!” Luke fumbled desperately. “It—I don’t—it’s not—it’s complicated, okay?!”
Chris’ face softened as he saw how the man was struggling. Exhaling slowly, he let his anger go. “Is the problem that you think that they’ll care or that they won’t?”
Luke flinched like he’d been slapped.
“Being gay—it isn’t some terrible thing, Luke.” Chris told him gently, daring to take a half step towards him.
“I know that.” Luke snapped. “But that isn’t—that isn’t me.” He looked over at Chris, expression wavering. “But when I’m with you…when I think about you…”
“So don’t put a label on it. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.” Christ told him fiercely. “It’s none of their goddamn business.”
Luke slowly shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, it’ll still be in my head. I feel…Jesus, I feel like I’m being forced to be two people in one body. Luke who owns the diner and Luke—Chris’…just Chris’.”
Chris’s heart fluttered. “Which one do you want to be?” He asked barely above a whisper.
Luke looked at him, want and need in his eyes. “The one I can’t have.”
Chris bit his lip, hands jammed into his pockets so he couldn’t reach for the other man.
There was heavy silence.
“I think you should see someone.”
“No.” Luke said firmly. “I’m done with dating.”
“Not like that. I mean a therapist or psychiatrist.”
Luke shrank back and balled up his fists like Chris was about to physically drag him to a shrink immediately.
“What? To talk about this? I can’t talk about this!” He hissed.
“That’s why you should go. It could help you stop feeling like you can’t be yourself.”
“I can be myself!” Luke deflated at Chris’ look of incredulity, hand running through his hair. “Mostly.”
…
“It’s just an idea.” Chris turned to the door. “I’ll go and talk to Lorelai and Rory—”
“Wait.”
Chris closed his eyes but didn’t turn around.
“I can do it. I’ll talk to them.”
Surprised, Chris silently moved out of the way, taking in the freaked out but determined look in Luke’s eyes.
But before the man could leave, he was pressing a hand to his arm, suddenly worried. “Luke, please don’t do anything rash out of some kind of need to prove yourself to me. You don’t have to—you’ve never had to. I never planned on coming here and forcing you into a relationship. I don’t want—”
“This isn’t about what you want. This is about what I want—what I want out of this life. My life.” Luke told him softly, fingers brushing lightly over the back of Chris’ hand even though he wouldn’t look at him still. “It’s my life.” He repeated to himself.
He opened the door, both of them able to see how Lorelai and Rory tried to scurry away from the door and obvious eavesdropping.
Luke deflated, face heating up. He’d been planning on coming out to them with a what-the-hell-do-I-care attitude but now they’d heard everything already. Knew about him. Knew about him and Chris.
They both looked as emotional as Luke felt and suddenly he felt angry. They had no right listening just like they had no right to pry into his personal life. He wasn’t going to come out on their terms, he was going to come out on his.
Bracing himself and straightening up determinedly he glared at both of them.
“Luke—”
“I am so sorry—”
“Stop it. You listen, I talk. That’s how its going to go.” Luke told them sharply, nerves fluttering up and down his insides and making him feel sick again. “I’m gay. I’m with Christopher and that’s it. End of story.”
“…’With Christopher?’” Chris repeated, hope surging up into his chest.
Luke didn’t bother to look over at him, just reached out and tugged him to his side with a hand curled around his hip.
Rory gasped and covered her eyes. “I’m not ready for this! I mean, it’s beautiful, because you know, love and all that jazz, but Luke—and you, Dad—and Luke.”
“This is completely unfair, you know.” Lorelai complained sniffling. “How can I stay all mad and bitchy when you two are a cuter couple than I was with either of you?”
“I know!” Rory agreed, peeking out between her fingers.
“All this time and I never—” Lorelai gasped, hand going to her heart and the other to clap over her mouth. “Oh my god—does that mean—when I came over looking for Luke—he was the girl in the other room?!”
“Hey, I never said it was a girl.” Chris pointed out, both men blushing and Rory attempting to cover both her ears and eyes at the same time.
“I don’t want to know!” His daughter said firmly. “Parents do not do that—that. Their romances stay completely platonic all the time, forever. No hanky and definitely no panky!”
“Could we stop talking about this?” Luke cut in, face on fire. “I just wanted to tell you both that I was gay, not get into specifics about my relationship!”
“Yes, I agree, no specifics.” Rory agreed adamantly.
Lorelai gave Chris a look that said that she was going to corner him at some point and get very specific.
“Prudes.” She said with a pout.
Silence fell, not the tense and charged silence from before but more curious and unsure.
“…so you two don’t have a problem with me being gay?” Luke asked quietly, Chris looking over to see how vulnerable he looked, arm slipping protectively around his waist.
Both Gilmores stared.
“What? No! Why would you think that?” Lorelai demanded.
“Well, you were pretty mad when we came up here, Mom.” Rory pointed out helpfully. “Me on the other hand, I was just confused, and shocked, and surprised, and doubting my ability to pick up on social nuances when distracted by waffles and whipped cream.”
“I wasn’t mad because of you being gay—okay, fine, I was a little mad about that too, but not because of like homophobia or whatever, I was mad that you couldn’t tell me.” Lorelai told him honestly. “And that you were seeing Chris behind my back. And yeah, I know we aren’t together anymore, but Chris is a big part of my life, of Rory’s life, and the fact that two of the people that mean so much to me could just shut me out and lie to me hurt.”
“I wasn’t trying to lie to you.” Luke told her quietly. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. To tell anyone. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly doing too great at this whole—coming out thing. And I made Chris swear he wouldn’t tell either of you.”
Lorelai looked at him guiltily. “Yeah…about what happened downstairs. I’m sorry, Luke, I was angry and I lashed out and acted like a total bitch—”
“It’s okay.”
“No it’s not. I was just thinking about myself and not you and now Stars Hollow’s grapevine is probably going crazy.”
Luke moved to squeeze Chris’ hand at his waist, exhaling roughly and nodding. “Yeah…”
“Hey, if I didn’t figure it out until it was staring me in the face, I doubt anyone downstairs did. If Babette had been there, she probably would’ve but she wasn’t so I think you’re good, Luke.” Rory said kindly.
“She’s right you know, nothing was said that couldn’t be explained away.” Chris added encouragingly.
Luke looked doubtful but he nodded shortly. “Guess there’ll only be one way to find out.”
Rory looked from her dad who was gazing at Luke with a soft worried look and Luke who looked like he was holding onto her dad’s hand tight enough to bruise.
She glanced at her mother pointedly who seemed perfectly fine staying where she was, fascinated by the two men’s easy slip into intimacy.
“Uh, Mom and me will go and check it out. And finish those waffles.” She said tugging on her mom’s arm to pull her towards the door. “We’ll see you down there.”
“I’ll make you fresh, those are probably cold—” Luke started, not moving and feeling a flip of unease at going downstairs.
“No, that’s okay. We like them cold.”
“What? No we don’t—”
“Okay, well, bye!” Rory shut the door behind them firmly.
Leaving Chris and Luke…alone.
“How do you feel?” Chris asked after a quiet moment. “About coming out?”
“Sick. But…” Luke finally released his death grip on Chris’ hand to run a hand down his face. “I think…relieved too. If that makes sense. It’s like…I don’t know. A weight has lifted off me or something.”
Chris exhaled slowly, a weight of his own lifting away. If he’d thought for a moment that Luke was just doing this for him, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.
“I needed this push.” Luke admitted softly. “I was going crazy without you. So thank you.”
“I wasn’t that great without you either.” Chris told him just as quietly. “Luke…I love you.”
Luke’s head snapped over to look at him, eyes wide and for all the world looking like he hadn’t said the same thing to Chris not ten minutes ago.
Giving in to the urge to lean forward, Chris met Luke halfway, their lips falling together like they had always been meant to.
It was one of their painfully tender kisses that took all reason from Chris and left him feeling sappy and sentimental, knees wobbling.
Luke’s shaky breath when they broke apart showed he was just as affected, the love he’d been denying finally letting his heart beat easy.
He reached a shaking hand up and caressed Chris’ cheek, the man’s eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into the touch, their foreheads resting against each other.
They quietly breathed in each other’s air, Chris’ hands gently squeezing Luke’s hips, Luke’s thumb brushing across his cheekbone.
“…I should get back down there. If people weren’t suspicious before they definitely will be now.” Luke stole another kiss and then pulled back, both of them loath to let go of the other, fingers of one hand twining together.
“Can I see you?”
“I hope so. If this is a dream, I’d rather not wake up.” Chris joked softly.
Luke huffed. “No, I mean can I see you? Here? Well, not here…but before you head back to the city?”
“Dinner at Lorelai’s?” Chris suggested uncertainly. “They already know and all…but if that’s too much—”
“No. No, it’s fine.” Anything would be fine as long as Luke could see Chris. “If Lorelai’s okay with it.”
“Are you kidding? I could already see those two planning our wedding—crap, I wasn’t—” Chris panicked.
Luke’s lips were suddenly on his and as a contrast to their other two kisses, this one was passionate and filled with longing.
They clung to each other like they were both the only thing holding the other up, and then they broke apart, Luke smiling against Chris’ mouth as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
“I love you.”
Chris blinked away sudden moisture from his eyes and just held onto Luke.
“I love you too.” He whispered wetly, suddenly overwhelmed with the sudden emotional whiplash from being heartbroken to feeling like his heart would burst from love.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Luke asked, rubbing his back, worried. “If it’s the wedding thing, I think I already made it clear how I feel about that—” And that was surprising in itself considering his usually slow and methodical approach to relationships.
“No. It’s just—” Chris couldn’t finish, a lump in his throat.
Luke pulled back, Chris reluctantly letting him move the small distance.
His hands were on his face, thumbs brushing away the stupid tears that Chris was trying to get a handle on.
“Talk to me, Chris.”
Chris sniffed and held onto Luke’s hips. “I—crap, I don’t know. I just started to think about how yesterday was a disaster and today is amazing and and—I don’t know, it just got to me.”
“What happened yesterday?”
“I tried to get over you.”
He didn’t have to say anymore, the flash of jealousy passing over Luke’s face quickly washed away with guilt.
“I never meant to hurt you. I really did think it was for the best.”
“I know that, I’m not blaming you for anything, it’s just such a turnaround I’m still trying to get my head wrapped around it.” Chris told him hurriedly, squeezing his hips. He smiled lovingly at the man. “It’s not easy to suddenly realise you have everything you could ever want.”
Luke blushed and pressed another kiss against Chris’ more than willing mouth.
“I really should go.” He said as they broke apart.
“Mm.”
Luke sighed and then reluctantly drew away from Chris.
“Stay up here as long as you need, I’ll tell them you got a business call or whatever.”
Chris wiped at his eyes. “I look a mess, huh?” He said ruefully.
“You look beautiful.”
It was Chris’ turn to blush but Luke didn’t often stay for the aftermath of his compliments and this was no different, the man slipping away before Chris could even get words to make sense in his mind.
When Chris finally came down, waiting until he hadn’t looked like he’d been crying, he tried to act as normal as possible and went to sit down by Rory and Lorelai who immediately shut up the moment they saw him.
“Sorry. Work.” He apologized kissing Rory’s head before sitting down.
“Must’ve been a good call.” Lorelai said innocently, Chris realising that he was smiling.
Trying to stop smiling only made him smile more so he gave up trying to cover up. “Yeah. It was.”