Chapter Text
For a second time, Hinata and I had missed each other at the Olympics.
I blamed Poland.
And Italy.
That hadn’t been my only disappointment.
Japan didn’t make it home with a medal. We didn’t make it into the top five. We hadn’t since 1976. It had been so close…
I returned home without a prize nor the sight of Hinata. Except for, well, the dozens of times I had l seen him on screen.
Somehow, we had never found ourselves in the same place at the same time.
I wasn’t in control of where I went or how long I could stay when we were there. It’s not like I had paid for the flight ticket. Or anything.
At least Hinata had promised he would be visiting soon.
He had earned Brazil a bronze medal. I could tell he had much to do.
I just didn’t know when soon was.
– – –
The atmosphere coming back from the Olympics without a medal… was rough.
It felt like having to pick up and stack the bricks of a Jenga tower again after being so close to putting that last one on top.
There were now another 4 full years of training before we had another opportunity.
This wasn’t our first rodeo, though. You couldn’t be an Olympian if you gave up so easily.
We had learned a lot, and there was still much more to learn. There was no other way to move but forward.
The first few weeks were times to rewatch our matches and reflect on what we could have done better. We analyzed what the winners had that we didn’t.
It was toughest for us Regulars… the only thing on our minds was: will we be replaced? Did we play well enough?
I reached the training gym a half hour before the starting time. The jet lag was still holding on to me, even after almost 2 weeks.
The ball grew and shrunk as I tossed it into the air to myself, it climbed higher and higher each time.
My eye caught a sudden blur of movement to my side. My hands jerked just as the ball came down. I tossed it back awkwardly and it went astray.
The ball disappeared from the sky. My head snapped to the side, following its new direction as it plowed into the ground. An orange streak followed afterwards.
“Ah! That was a nice jump!” Hinata laughed to himself.
He picked himself up casually as if he hadn’t just teleported out of nowhere.
“ You —!” Was all my mouth could form.
“Me.” Hinata grinned. His eyes were warm.
I crashed into him, His arms pinned beneath my embrace, my nose buried in his hair.
“You dumbass , I could have caught that.” I finished.
Hinata chuckled, “Yeah, right.”
I pulled back, we studied each other for a second.
New freckles, a reddish 5 o’clock shadow, same wild hair. Breathtakingly stunning.
I thought I would kiss him blind, but I found myself savouring his lips, my fingers cushioning into his flesh. His hands pulling me in deeper.
“You came to see me?” I held his face, the gears of my brain still processing his physicality.
“A self-absorbed King, aren’t you?” Hinata poked me back. “You think I came all this way just to see you?”
My brows dipped, “You little shithead—“
“Hinata!” Someone called from the other side of the gymnasium. I let go of him in surprise.
Nishinoya leaped, he wrapped Hinata in a hug as my other teammates began showing up. They all brightened upon seeing him. Some of them ran, unable to contain their excitement. Even the ones who had never met him in person made their way toward us.
The whistle of the coach split the air, marking the beginning of the day. I turned to Hinata.
“See you after?” I took one of his fingers in mine.
Hinata began stretching one of his legs. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to practice, dumbass. Where are you going?”
Hinata stood there, changing into a shoulder stretch. “Kageyama, I already told you I’m not here to see you.”
“Then what are you—?” I began until the gears clicked into place.
“Y–you—!”
Hinata grinned. “Yup, me.”
“You didn’t tell me?!”
All at once, it seemed like everyone broke into a laugh. Then, a few whoos went into the air and finally, the entire gym was cheering and clapping.
I still stood there, like a dumbass. Hinata regarded me back.
“You didn’t tell me!” I repeated. My chest began to hiccup and suddenly I was laughing. “You didn’t freaking tell me!” I couldn’t stop, I was cackling loudly, delightfully.
I was lifting him, spinning him. He was holding on back to me.
“How could you not tell me?!” I squeezed him harder.
“How could you not know, you idiot? It’s everywhere.” Hinata said with the biggest grin ever.
– – –
My eyes found it impossible not to steal a glance at him every half minute. His orange firework-explosion mass of hair was like a light post to my eyes. They caught him zipping around the court and could feel his presence even when he was behind me.
But how could I not be hyper-aware of him? Just yesterday, Hinata had been someone hundreds of miles away from me. And now, he was just at a toss of a volleyball’s length.
How could Hinata look so concentrated? How could he not be affected in the same way?
At the first whistle for break, I seized his hand and pulled him into a hallway away from the court.
“What is it, Tobio?” He sounded preoccupied, but it was probably from how quickly I had taken us out of sight. I hadn’t wanted people to wonder.
My insides also did a flip at the mention of my name. It wasn’t like I hadn’t heard it from him before in calls, but it was the first time in person.
“Hinata,” I wasn’t used to doing the same, “Is this for real?”
His eyebrows furrowed, “What’s for real?”
“You,” I said, “Here, practicing with us.” I tried to rectify but I couldn’t make myself clear. “Are you really joining our team?” I held the ends of his fingers in my hands.
He pressed his lips together and nodded. My mind swam a bit.
“So you’ll stay? Here, in Tokyo?” I pressed.
“Yeah,” He said with a soft smile creeping onto his lips.
I had a hard time forming the next question.
“With me?”
The blush blooming on his cheeks made my stomach leap again.
“If– If that’s what you want, too.”
“Of course it’s what I want, dumbass!”
“Well, I had to be sure, you idiot!”
We held each other tightly, neither saying another word. Then, in one swift movement, Hinata reached out on his tippy toes, planted a kiss on the corner of my mouth and disappeared out of the hallway.
I would have run after him if I hadn’t been left so paralyzed.
-
The coach did not hesitate to try out his new weapons.
Maybe he wanted to give the team some sort of hope, or maybe he was just anxious about the expensive choice he had made by bringing Hinata onto the team, but he wasted no time pairing us up. He wanted to see just what moves we could pull together.
So we gave him just that.
I made Hinata spike my quickest tosses, drove him to jump and hit as high as I wanted, pushed his legs to travel to the farthest corners just to avoid a blocker.
The feeling of freedom had sparked back into my fingertips.
“You really are a bunch of freaks.” Was all the coach said when he whistled that he had seen enough. Our backs were bent over, our chins dripped with sweat and we were gulping for air.
Both fists on his hips, but the satisfaction in the coach’s voice was all we needed.
“Hey Kageyama! Why don’t you toss like that to me?” A teammate of mine asked. I had played alongside him since my second year on the National team.
“Can you hit those tosses?” I replied dryly.
He looked around uncomfortably. “Well, I— I guess you’re right.”
My blood turned cold. I hadn’t meant to—
Another teammate pinched his own chin, “So when you kept telling me ‘run faster’, this is what you meant?!”
Hinata burst into a cackle, he was still sweating profusely, “Still a ruthless King, huh?!”
I was about to bark back, but someone approached from behind.
“Hinata and Kageyama manage to unlock each other’s full potential, it’s what makes them a powerful combination.” The coach pitched in. I had not noticed he was still there. “What Kageyama meant to say earlier is that he will give you the type of toss depending on his assessment of your current ability.”
“Isn’t it hard to get those types of balls across though, Hinata?” Someone asked.
Hinata cocked his head in thought, “Almost always, all I have to do is reach the ball. Kageyama is the one who makes sure it’s where it needs to be to make it across.”
“It takes more than that, dumbass…” I mumbled.
“Sure, but I’ve played with setters who make me decide where I want to jump, and honestly that’s so much more work.” He complained. “I'd rather just focus on my spike! That way I can sprint faster and jump higher!”
– – –
Sometimes fans can do great things. Like convince the FIVB to let your boyfriend switch Olympic teams. I don’t know how their powers work, but they’re pretty good.
This is what I learned after practice, when everyone was finally free to flock around Hinata in the locker room and swarm him with questions.
At the airport, a little over a year ago, someone had taken a picture of our goodbye kiss. You could classify that under ‘pictures of me that have gone viral’.
Not only had the fans begged, but the Head Coach of the Japanese team had apparently personally scouted Hinata at the Olympics, with the JVA and JOC and a bunch of other acronyms in agreement that he was better off switching teams.
There was only one issue: Brazil did not want to let go. They claimed Japan was just buying talent. But Japan claimed they had bought Hinata off of them in the first place, and that he belonged in Japan.
I personally wouldn’t have liked to be in Hinata’s position.
But instead of receiving criticism for switching teams, almost everyone seemed to agree that it was the right thing to do. That’s where my popularity came in.
Videos of our old high school matches resurfaced from the internet. We were the freak duo, meant to play side by side again. And then when the picture of us at the airport was finally tied together with the rest, even Brazil couldn’t deny the chemistry.
The team was ecstatic to have him. He was the only one among us to be an Olympic medalist. He carried himself like he radiated a bronze aura.
“Don’t worry guys, I’ve come to carry you to the finalists!” Hinata joked around. He stood above everyone else on top of a bench in the locker room.
“Isn’t Brazil angry at you for leaving them?” Nishinoya asked. He was shirtless and had his towel over his shoulders, ready to go into the shower.
“A little.” Hinata winced. “In the end though, I’m only here because they agreed to it.”
“They’ve been a powerhouse for ages. It hurts, but they’ll get over it.” A teammate said.
“Yeah… let’s just hope we don’t play against them. I don’t really wanna face my old teammates like that.” Hinata hopped back down from the seat. “Especially not Javier.”
“Who’s Javier?” I asked.
“My ex.”
“The setter?” Nishinoya peeped from behind the door frame of the shower room.
My mouth fell open. Hinata retreated backwards into Nishinoya.
“You did not date another setter,” I shouted to the door he had slammed closed. “Hinata how could you!”
– – –
“C’mon, you big idiot. He’s just a backup setter, normally all he does are float serves.” Hinata trailed after me.
The fallen leaves crunched under my boots. Fall had come sooner than usual.
“Did he toss minus tempos to you?” I crossed my arms.
“Of course not! Just regular quicks. We didn’t even have our own hand signals.”
I squinted my eyes, but allowed him to hook his hand around my bent arm.
“I can’t believe you dated someone who only does float serves .” I scoffed.
“Shut up. They were really hard to receive.”
– – –
At the end of the day, our feet carried us toward my apartment without prior word of agreement. Our fingers were entangled together, yet at some point our walking became fast-pacing. And the fast pacing became a speed-walking challenge. We pushed through the door of the building and our hands yanked apart as we raced up the flights of stairs.
Hinata curled around like he weighed feathers, I was biting the back of his heels.
We rounded a corner and Hinata kept climbing unknowingly as I stopped and reached my door, key in my hand.
“Hey!!” Hinata leaped back down. I couldn’t contain my laughter as I frantically unlocked the door. Just as I was about to slip inside, Hinata jumped on top of me and held on like a leech. His inertia and weight were more than I had anticipated and I stumbled around struggling to breathe as Hinata choked me with his arms trying to stay above.
I threw him onto the bed, and he pulled me along.
“I won, dumbass! Stop trying to bite me!” I tried to rip free but Hinata kept grabbing at me with his hands and even feet and biting any bit of my skin that reached his mouth. It wasn’t helping that I couldn’t stop the bubbles of laughter erupting from within me. “You’re like a freaking dog!”
He growled in agreement. “I reached the top first, you cheater! So now you get bitten!”
“It’s whoever reaches the door first.” I managed to snatch a hand away, finally. I used it to hold Hinata’s forehead back.
Hinata struggled against my palm. “I will never accept that!” Then suddenly he went slack, and just as I loosed up, he burst and toppled me over.
We wrestled each other, yanking shirts and tugging on hair. As much as I tried, I found I couldn’t overpower his arms.
He pinned me, a cold foot that had lost its shoe at some point nailed down my thigh and his hands gripped my wrists in awkward angles. I tussled until I ran out of breath. Hinata gritted his teeth the entire time, his face had turned the same shade of red as his hair under the ceiling light and even a vein had protruded on his temple.
The pressure Hinata had on me eased when I stopped struggling, but I had drained my last bit of energy to attack again.
Our breaths were loud. Hinata’s hair looked crazier than a bird’s nest. His blinks were slow.
“Jesus…” Was all I could breathe out. “I’m kinda scared of you…”
Hinata’s lips spread out into a wide grin. “Really?”
I didn’t have enough oxygen in my brain to reply.
His hands that were encircling my wrists slid upwards to lace our fingers. Hinata reached down to place a fat kiss on my neck.
My lids fluttered.
My body felt like it had been activated after a winter of slumber.
I saw the realization of it spark behind Hinata’s eyes. He gazed back at me as if he were going through the options of my control manual.
Heat spread across my chest as he took my mouth softly, tugging on my lower lip.
All my other limbs were temporarily inoperative, so I did with what I had available.
I kissed him back, until I heard a moan rumble behind his throat.
The little spark of jurisdiction I felt crumbled when his knee dug into the mattress in between my thighs and pressed upwards.
A disgraceful noise got away from me.
I buried the side of my face into the sheets.
I was caught split between never wanting that to happen again and wanting it again very badly, very soon.
With shame climbing up my face in the shape of rosy-coloured circles, I cracked open an eye to peek at Hinata’s hovering head. He was biting down on his lower lip, and when he saw me looking, the edges of his lips stretched to cut into his cheeks. I knew that smile, I had seen it plenty of times on the court. He was enjoying himself.
I was just beginning to understand that maybe I could make him jump higher or run faster when we were on the court, but at that moment with my back against the bed, Hinata had overridden the controllers.
I closed my eyes.
– – –
I glanced at the dishevelled bed from where I stood behind the kitchen counter. It had been perfectly made just an hour before. Now the sheets were draped over one corner, the quilt lay crumped entirely on the floor and a pillow was missing.
…I didn’t think I could look at the bed the same way again.
I heard the rush of running water stop and not long after Hinata came out of the bathroom with a towel tied around his waist, just below the concaves of his V-line. He waggled the last droplets of water from his hair as he approached me.
I remembered a time when I used to look away at the sight of Hinata’s bare skin. Back then, in the high school locker rooms, I didn’t understand why it made me uncomfortable.
My eyes didn’t jerk to the side anymore. Instead, I admired the way his tan skin glistened with moisture, the way his muscles settled and bunched when he rested his elbows on the countertop.
“Checking me out?” He inquired with a raised brow.
“Put on a shirt before you catch something,” I said back.
“But I love the way you look at me.” He batted his eyes a few times, then noticed the goosebumps blooming on his skin. He went for my drawers and began rummaging through the stacks of nicely folded T-shirts. Or at least they were nicely folded. I glared at his beautiful sun-marked back.
“There was something I’ve been waiting to do,” Hinata said as he picked up an option. “‘Cause I wanted to do it with you.”
I perked up. “What is it?”
He didn’t reply until he had put on a shirt. Somehow, he had found one in my drawer that fit him tightly. How? I didn’t know.
“I want us to upgrade our Olympic tattoos!” He pulled back his sleeve to show the rings on his bicep.
I blushed, remembering the kisses I planted in the center of each hoop not long before.
“Upgrade how?”
“Add a little something to it to commemorate our second time in the Olympics.”
I grinned, “I like the idea.”
–
We were about to leave to get our tattoos when I noticed it.
“Wait a second, that’s my shirt!” I pointed.
Hinata looked at me in confusion. “This one I grabbed from your closet?” He tugged at the one he was wearing. “This is my shirt.” He put his hands on his hips. “Why do you think it fits me so well?”
“No, you left that shirt last year. It’s mine now, you can’t take it.”
“ I left it last year. I knew you would keep it.”
I tried to fight the rosiness building up on my cheeks. “Exactly, you left it. So it’s technically mine now.”
“It doesn’t even fit you! Look how tight it is on me!”
“I don’t use it to wear it, dumbass. I use it for— for other things! And you’re gonna ruin it if you use it.”
Hinata’s eyes turned to suspicious slits. “What other things? Naughty things ? ”
The blush reached its peak. It was spreading to my ears. “That’s none of your business.”
“It’s literally my shirt, how is it not my business? And it’s totally obvious that you use it for naughty things now.”
“I do not!”
“Eugh, should I even be wearing it? Is it sanitary?!” Hinata tugged the collar away with a finger.
“Of course it’s sanitary, you can wear it!”
“Oh, in that case… thank you for your blessed permission. I’ll continue to wear it.”
“What—? Wait, I— I didn’t mean— Fuck.” I growled, crossing my arms over my chest.
Hinata bit back a winning grin. I could practically see him give himself a pat on the back.
“You’re gonna change the scent…” I grumbled.
“I’m going to change the scent of my own T-shirt?”
“Yeah! You don’t smell the same anymore!”
Hinata gave me the puppy-eye pout. “You don’t like how I smell now?”
“It’s—It’s not that,” I said, trying to stay strong despite how stupidly cute he was. “It just brings back memories…”
“You’re so nostalgic.” Hinata exhaled dramatically as he pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it in a scrunched-up ball to me. I brought it to my face and inhaled it. The scent was faint but reminiscent.
“Am I supposed to use one of your shirts now? I’m gonna look like a little kid!”
“You’re not going to look like a little kid.”
Okay, Hinata did look a little like a kid. But maybe that was an exaggeration. With one of my shirts on, he shaved off like 6 years, turning him into a 17-year-old. Basically a year older than when I met him. His chiselled body was completely hidden beneath the loose fabric. The sleeves drooped over the most muscular part of his arms. And because his facial hair was almost translucent, you couldn’t tell he had any unless you came in real close. The oversized shirt also covered a few inches of his thighs, making him appear even shorter.
I could understand why he dressed the way he did.
“You look so cute,” I said, encouragingly.
“You look like a pedophile.”
My face fell into a frown. “Let’s just freaking go already.”
– – –
It was a warm Saturday and Hinata had already fallen asleep against my shoulder. The train shuddered as it made its way through rows of countryside houses.
The pressure of his body was a constant reminder of his presence. Hinata had only arrived 3 days prior, and I was still getting accustomed to the fact that he was really there beside me, not somewhere behind a screen. It was even harder to grasp that he was here to stay.
Hinata had wanted to visit his family in Miyagi, and I hadn’t been ready to let go of him so soon again, even if it was just for the weekend. So I took the train with him.
It was probably a good idea to visit my own parents, too.
We arrived at the station and Hinata’s mother and younger sister were already waiting for him.
Natsu jogged with open arms to greet him. They hugged each other tightly, dancing like marigold flowers beneath the sun.
It was a strange sight to see her bending over Hinata. She was a few inches taller than her older brother.
Then, Hinata received his mother’s hug. I addressed them and bowed my head.
At that moment, I realized that I had never mentioned our relationship to them.
I presumed they already knew, Hinata must have told them, for sure. Still, even if he hadn’t, I feel like it wouldn’t have taken long for them to catch on. Hinata held my hand like I was a kid at the risk of getting lost and he shoved his mother’s cooking into my mouth before even taking a bite himself.
As much as it embarrassed me, I loved the surprise I felt when he hugged me from behind, the unexpected caress of my hair, and the soft syllables of my first name spoken by his lips when he wanted my attention.
We went back home Sunday afternoon after throwing a few balls with Natsu in their backyard. She reminded me a lot of Hinata. She was energetic, loud and enthusiastic about pretty much everything. Not to mention that at a quick glance, I could confuse the pair of them from behind.
After gulping down a few sticky pork buns on the train back, Hinata nestled his head against my shoulder even though he had the window seat this time. Our hands were clasped underneath the table. I wondered if his touch would ever not make my stomach flutter.
My mind also pondered other thoughts. Mainly one that had been churning my insides, but not in a fluttery way. I turned over the idea that maybe Hinata had come to be the saviour of my position as a Regular setter. As much as I didn’t like the idea of relying on someone else, I saw it as a possibility. I didn’t think I played incompetently at the last Olympics, but the truth was that we had placed 6th place, and it was only natural that the coach would decide to change things up with a new team rather than risk wasting fresh potential for another 4 years.
But I had hope in our duality. Just in the two days we had practiced together again, I felt a spark I had forgotten I had.
If Hinata was the sole person who could bring that out of me, I was okay with that. At least now that we were on the same team.
– – –
The beginnings of fall carried a cool breeze through the air that prescribed for a light sweater in the evening. Hinata and I walked to the train station together which took us both home, but in opposite directions. I appreciated the walk even more on the days when we didn’t spend what was left of the day with each other.
Hinata liked to warm up our enlaced hands in the pockets of his sweater, so winter was looking promising.
“You know Kuno, right?” Hinata brought up. His finger gently rubbed mine inside his pocket.
“Our teammate?”
“Yeah.”
“What about him?”
“Well, he—um…he keeps giving me weird looks.”
I pictured Kuno in my head, but I couldn’t recall him ever giving me a weird look.
“What makes you say that?”
“I’m not sure… I just have a feeling he doesn’t like me very much.”
I shrugged, “You can be a bit loud during practice sometimes.”
Hinata twisted my way with a glower. “I don’t think I deserve that type of a stink eye for that!”
“That other time you finished up most of the Gatorade from the dispenser, maybe he was thirsty that time.”
“That was both of us!”
“I dunno then. He’s pretty kind and attentive and brings me a bottle of water from time to time when I don’t notice I’m thirsty. That’s why that came to mind.”
“He’s awfully kind and attentive to you, huh?”
“Yeah, he used to wait for me to walk home together before.”
“Like how we’re doing right now?” Hinata’s finger pointedly waggled between the both of us.
“Pretty much. Minus the hand holding.” I added quickly, noticing his eyes turn to slits.
“Yeah, I think I understand now…” He looked away with a disapproving face.
“What? What is it?”
“He’s jealous, you dumbass.” Hinata quickened his pace. I made my strides longer.
I was about to object when I remembered something. “He did confess about having a crush on me,” I said, recalling the moment while feeling heat rush to my cheeks. “But that was over two years ago, or more.”
Hinata’s eyes widened. “What?!”
“Nothing happened between us after that!” My hands ripped away from his sweater pocket to cool down my face. “He was pretty understanding.”
“I don’t think he’s over you, Tobio.” His hands were on his hips.
“He probably just doesn’t like that I’m tossing more to you now.”
“That definitely isn’t helping.” Then Hinata dropped the sullen look and he cracked a smile. “I mean, that’s just what I get for dating such a hunk.” He beat up my side with a series of punches. My ears probably lit up as bright as red Christmas lights. “Who else do I need to watch out for?”
I bunched up my shoulders. “Inoue-san and…Tsutsui, maybe? It’s just what I heard from Kuroo…”
Hinata’s blows came to a halt. His hands went to sandwich my face. “You better start calling me by my first name. Starting like right now!”
“If thas wash shu wan.” I tried to say with my lips mushed.
“Who else? Do I have to be careful of your vengeful exes on the streets?”
I took Hinata by his wrists. “I don’t have exes.”
That took him aback. “You didn’t date anyone? Before me?” My stomach did a flip.
I looked away, somehow Hinata’s sincerity had me sheepish. “No.”
“I just assumed…because you’re so popular…” Hinata walked on ahead, then spun around and faced me. “Then why do you kiss so good?” He demanded, then gasped. “Tobio are you a player? Are you a ladies’ man…? A mans’ man?”
My blood spiked with electricity. “Of course not, dumbass! I’ve only ever kissed you!” My voice practically echoed across the city. I recoiled into myself.
“You have not!” He punched my guts again, but rosiness spread across his face.
“I have!” I hissed, my previous shout still ringing in my ears.
“Why didn’t you tell me!”
“‘Cause you didn’t ask, dummy.”
We had reached the train station. We tapped our cards and a second later Hinata took my hand.
“My platform is the other way.” I pulled back.
“I know. But I’ve decided you’re coming with me tonight.”
– – –
My heart beat against my throat. My mind kept skipping over to that other night in my bed. Hinata’s mouth on my skin, his legs wrapped around me and his hands just everywhere. I had never been so mind-blowingly overwhelmed.
How could those images not flourish behind my lids every time he touched me? I was just thankful that volleyball wasn’t a contact sport.
I could see it in his face now when Hinata was preparing to kiss me. His mouth slightly parted. His lids halfway over his eyes. Just the sight of it washed me in a warm wave.
Hinata stood on his tippy toes and pressed his lips against mine. I pushed them apart and pressed further. I bunched his hair in between my fingers, saw the blur of his freckles from behind my lashes.
“I feel butterflies when you kiss me,” Hinata said as he pulled back. “Like ones with big wings. They go woosh .” He made imaginary circles with his hands over his stomach.
I resisted the urge to say Me too . Instead, I asked, “Always?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled delicately. “You?”
“Yeah.” Butterflies danced around as I said it.
“Well, always since now,” Hinata corrected himself. “I definitely didn’t feel butterflies when you were an annoying jerk.”
“When was I—?! You were an annoying dumbass as well!”
“You were a stuck-up King.” He poked out his tongue.
“And you received with your face.”
He pinched my cheek rather forcefully. “But you’re cute now. I couldn’t see that before.”
The butterflies fluttered in a rouse. “W—Why?”
“I guess… because I was too jealous before. You were already being called things like King and Prodigy before we even started our first year. You were always a step ahead of me and you were climbing much faster. You were being sent to training camps and I was sneaking into them…” The butterflies settled in the pits of my guts. They closed their wings.
“You were my closest friend outside of the court but… you were also my rival. Someone I wanted to best. I wanted to be ahead. It was hard to see anything else.” Hinata played with his hands.
My outlook on him had been unlike his towards me. I couldn’t say I ever felt jealous of Hinata. He didn’t have something I felt I lacked. Maybe that had been my self-absorbed opinion of myself, but that’s what it had been like at the time. Instead, I had always felt like I needed to keep pushing myself. In the blink of an eye, Hinata could suddenly pounce higher, spike more forcefully, read blockers before I even touched the ball... Even his receives were becoming more solid and grounded with every week. My competitiveness drove me to work harder. If Hinata was going to stay after practice and perfect a skill for a few more hours, I was going to, too. If he was going to arrive an hour earlier to get a few more spikes in, so would I. I couldn’t let him get ahead. I had to be the one who carried the smug grin. Because if Hinata wasn’t my rival, if he wasn’t obsessed with beating me, would he even care about me?
Hinata made volleyball fun. When he was on the court and we pulled our moves, thrills coursed through my body. I could play a dozen sets and not get tired of tossing to him.
I realized I wanted Hinata to be better, to be the best . If he stayed behind and I moved on ahead… we wouldn’t play on the same court anymore.
The competitiveness between us had somehow just been an excuse to spend more time together all along.