Chapter Text
one hundred
once you're gone, there was never really an honest word
When you have something to say,
silence is a lie.
- Jordan Peterson, psychologist, traditionalist, and the author of 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
Hinata has a problem.
Guaranteed, it's not actually the biggest problem she has ever had in her entire twenty-one years of existence.
(...Or at least, she thinks it isn't.)
(…um, maybe?)
And it's definitely not the most important one to date, considering she's still mulling her head (and sometimes losing her hairs) over the supposed blackmail that Sasuke has supposedly hung over the heads of the entire Hyuuga Clan — which Hinata has still yet to have a talk with him regarding this, by the way, since it's already been two days after her last dinner with her late father.
But see. That's the thing.
Every time Hinata tries to have the Talk with the most powerful man born from the only dynasty who can topple her own — she gets…distracted.
Or should she say — he gets her distracted.
For instance, the moment she has schooled her features into something grim, serious, and mature — all words instantly leave her mouth the moment Sasuke presses her into their bed and starts pressing his lips against the soft, sensitive skin underneath her jaw. All right before he trails his lips down on the softer skin on her neck, his stronger hand either pressing into the pillow beside her head, her right shoulder or on the bedpost before them.
Sooner or later (and wonderfully so), he would have Hinata completely pliant and submissive underneath him as he renders her docile and obedient in taking every each of his touch, his kiss, and his wandering hands as his legs settle on each side of her hips. Everything eventually comes to an end when Hinata accidentally lets out a moan.
And then it'll be too awkward to have a conversation after that as she will be too busy curling into a ball of pure utter shame by the time Sasuke tries his best not to start laughing at her expense. He’s quite plaintively aware he is as awkwardly new to this as she is, after all.
We aren't even together when none of us technically confessed to each other. Hinata muses ruefully to herself. We're not.
We're…not.
And even though we’re testing the waters with both the emotional and physical intimacy we share, even if it feels like we’ve grown closer in every way considered possible over the last several months, even if he feels safe, inviting, and comfortable for me to be vulnerable with…it's—
It's…
It's—
—something.
Normal. Maybe.
But at the same time, it's not. Normal. That is.
Maybe?
Eughhh.
Hinata could curl into a smaller ball thinking about this each time. Stupid, stupid Uchiha and most importantly, stupid, stupid, stupid Hyuuga!
Hinata was never a person who thinks without leaving any stone unturned, however, so what makes her want to smash her head into a wall even more is the next problem that comes with her…situation with Sasuke.
And it's the reality of what this makes of her.
And if I were to be honest with myself, I…
…don't want to be just one of his girls for the night. I don't want to be just another night to him and to call myself that. A woman he can come into and make his own without so much as making any effort to even try. It is as if I’m the easiest for him to have as much as I am the easiest to throw away once I gave my all to him.
Hyuuga Hinata is a woman of grace, class and dignity before anything else.
And a woman of her character shouldn't have been another body for men to toy around and play with in bed. She was the Hyuuga Heiress, after all.
She was never born to be just a bedwarmer for anyone in her life.
Next time. Hinata chews on her lower lip, mulling her thoughts even longer on this. I’ll say ‘no’ the next time.
“Sooooo,” Inuzuka Kiba grins as he crosses both of his hands at the back of his head and taking a deep breath before heavily letting it all out in great comfort. Akamaru lightly pants at his side, feeling warm from the heat of the summer. “What’cha called us in today for, Hinata-chan? And right in front of the old Konoha gates too.”
“Not to mention, we could've talked about this over breakfast.” Aburame Shino grumbles into his high collars, trying not to glare too prickly at the bright, radiant sun through his black shades. “It's too early not to have any conversation over a meal. It would've been one way to start the day.”
“I can understand how you called for them, Hinata-san.” Tenten makes a well meaning complaint, looking into her old teammate's cousin with fondness despite the confusion in her voice. “But for me too? What's so special about this time that I have to be present with the rest of Team Eight?”
Ah. But first Hinata has to have a different Talk with the people outside of her family but who came just as close to her heart altogether.
“Tenten-sama,” Hinata makes an apologetic smile at Neji’s closest teammate before. “If it's alright, I want to have this conversation with all three of you, knowing this might be the only perfect time for me to announce something this important and imperative.”
“Announce?” Kiba blinks. “Important?”
“You're not…pregnant,” Shino frowns, wording out his sentence slowly as if he’s trying not to let the obvious prejudice in his tone sound a little too obvious. “...are you?”
Regardless of his apparent wariness of simultaneously offending her and her soft spot for Sasuke, Hinata can still hear the ‘with the Uchiha’s child?’ distastefully without the need to hear it directly from his mouth.
Hinata could almost sigh from how her expectations were slowly being met.
Everyone in the Land of Fire knows about her ‘roommate’ situation with Sasuke, after all. And to make a long story short, none of the important people in her life are throwing flowers around and kissing her feet for how the last of the Cursed Clan took her in after exiling herself from her own corrupt clan.
If it isn't ‘Sasuke taking advantage of her run away situation’ or ‘Sasuke exploiting her learned helplessness from her lack of a home since she left’, it's definitely ‘Sasuke trying to leave a part of himself in her body each night, fucking her brainless like any exploitative man would to a helpless and needy woman in this day and age.’
To make the long story even shorter, they're all being awfully annoying to her about this.
All maybe except Tenten.
And that's why she needs her for this.
“No, I am not, Shino-kun.” Hinata deadpans, trying not to lose too much of her gentility and courtesy in her voice. “But…it's fair to say that Sasuke has something to do with this — um, announcement.”
“You know you're making me nervous with how you seem so dodgy about this.” Kiba furrows his brows together as he lowers both of his hands now, palpably worried. “Did that bastard do something to you? Said something to you? Are you ready to finally leave his as—”
Shino cuts him off with a pointy jab to his gut.
“Please don't call someone important to me an insulting and derogatory name when you know he has long tried to redeem himself of his past.” Hinata admonishes not too lovingly and definitely not for the first time either, especially in a while. “He has an actual name for you to call, both of you.”
“Emo-ninja?” Kiba tuts blankly.
“Human exploiter?” Shino drawls out dryly.
“Bastard who forgot the meaning of the word ‘chivalry’?”
“A failed nin who takes advantage of a person in crisis?”
“Piece of shit?”
“An awfully difficult person to talk with?”
“A dog who doesn't know how to respect mine?” There's an unsurprising sourness in Kiba’s tone at that.
“Ah.” Shino smirks a lot less kind-heartedly than he normally would, snorting. “A wet cat in heat, maybe?”
“Sasuke.” Tenten sighs, definitely not in the mood to witness a family fight between family friends this early in the morning. As she tries to gather her thinning patience, Hinata briefly thinks of permanently putting a few specific people to sleep through her taijutsu again, just like what she did at the Church less than fifty nights back. Jerks.
It isn't right to—
—no. Hinata feels a wave of guilt and shame wash over her from such self-serving thoughts. They're concerned for me, that's all. They all are.
And they have a right to be. As much as they rarely admit it, they love and care for me the most since the end of all of our childhoods.
Think rationally instead of emotionally about this, Hyuuga Hinata.
“Did the Supporting Kage make a proposal with the Hyuuga Clan or something? It's the first thought that came to mind, at least.” Tenten finally asks, ignoring whatever series of insults those two idiots spewed about a certain shinobi who could easily take their life so much as he deems it tempting or necessary.
Hinata takes a deep breath, forcibly trying to soothe her nerves before attempting to gain control over it. She makes a sorrier smile after. “It's actually the opposite.”
“Eh?” Kiba blinks again.
Shino raises his eyebrows, his irritation gradually morphing into curiosity now. The ninja beside him cocks her head to the side, entirely amused of what ‘the opposite’ could probably even mean.
“Who’s….the Supporting Kage again?” Kiba scratches his hair, trying to think of anyone who would even come close to being the answer.
“It’s the Uchiha.” Shino rolls his eyes. “Remember his promise to return to Konoha and dedicate his life to help protect the village and its people? Naruto probably started that nickname for him or something.”
“...oh.” Kiba only frowns some more in the end.
“Honestly, sometimes Akamaru’s a lot sharper than the both of us in the morning, Inuzuka.” The Aburame sighs, taking one for both teams.
“Hey, it's not my fault!” Kiba whines, catching into his act of ‘chivalry’ anyway. “It's the empty stomach and my lack of sleep talking for me! Anyways, why don't we just go beat this sorry excuse of a jackass so we can finally put an end to Hinata's predicament once and for all—”
The kunoichi only sighs again and Hinata almost follows after her with her own sympathetic smile. She can patently see how Tenten's patience grows thinner over time the longer this conversation goes on. I can now see how Team Guy definitely wasn't as frustrating as this even with Rock Lee alone.
Especially with how Neji-nii-san became your ultimate favorite because of how quiet, private and a complete stick in the mud he was, Tenten-sama. “What could the Clan even propose to a man with a history of isolation and unpredictability anyway?” Tenten tuts, placing an exasperated hand on her hip.
The eldest descendant of the Hyuuga Main Family takes a deep breath, preparing herself for what she's about to say. This is it. “Well, I’m getting married to him.”
Kiba immediately stops talking.
Shino didn't moved an inch.
Tenten…just stood there for a few seconds, carefully trying to read the expression on Hinata's face.
Everyone lets their silence speak for themselves.
And silence follows after her loved ones wherever they go, she supposes. And if it was scary the first time, it definitely isn't any less scary now. Hinata feels a familiar dizzy spell cast over her, making her feel faint again for the first time in seven years.
After awhile, Kiba was the first to make an outraged (surprised? shocked? unacceptable but somewhat, maybe, possibly, happy for her?) outburst. (Honestly, poor guy looks like he doesn't know what to feel.)
Shino was wallowing in his own thoughts on this matter a lot more quietly — but it was Tenten's next reaction that caught Hinata's attention the most. It made her focus on the other woman specifically, trying not to make it the slightest bit noticeable.
She…doesn't seem all that affected by the news, not after it had finally sinked in on her completely. Taken aback and a little unused to the idea, maybe — but a lot less affected than she would have expected.
I mean, it's Tenten-sama and Neji-nii-san has always said she's calm and level-headed in most situations, if not all. Hinata frowns. Especially in one that would've been seen as common gossip such as this.
But…
There's something strange about her reaction too — and Hinata couldn't put her finger on what it was.
It is almost as if she's saving this topic for a later conversation, maybe? As if she's still trying to process how to bring it up to someone at the end of the day somehow…
“Tente—”
“Does Naruto know?” Tenten intercedes first, stopping Hinata short. The previous Heiress notices how she had ignored the tangible concern on her face. “Does the next Hokage know that his ex-girlfriend whom he threw around like an asshole in the past is now arranged to be married to someone else?”
Shino tries to appease the tension now rapidly growing in the air. “Tenten-sam—”
“He’s married and expecting his first kid. Will it really be such a big deal?” Kiba was also quick to come to Hinata's defense, seeing how she had just grown small from the mention of the blond’s name alone. “Besides, it's been five years since their relationship ended anyways—”
“Well?” Tenten presses, oddly (and ironically enough, gratefully) concerned for her previous teammate's cousin. She's concerned — despite her sheer stubbornness and lack of tact for this specific question alone.
And in Hinata's eyes, that will never ever be a bad thing.
Still, she held on to the ends of her shirt with one hand and curled it into a tight fist. An unwanted surge of emotions flooded her chest. “...I…”
“I…” Kissing the back of her teeth, Hinata tries to wipe away the sweat now pooling both her hands.
Do you, perhaps…have someone to pass this answer to? The way you're….
No.
I’m being too paranoid and selfish about this. I shouldn't be throwing around blame when it should’ve been mine alone to carry.
This is my future, this is my marriage, this is my husband to defend and call my own soon. I should answer her like any ninja of my background should.
Besides, Sasuke deserves to be protected in this situation the most, after all.
“I made a promise to myself.” Hinata whispers loud enough for all of them to hear, trying not to lower her eyes from the three most important people in her life only after Hanabi and Sasuke. “That when I meet him the next time, I would only say one thing.”
And this is when I deserved to say a mountain more.
Tenten listens in as the rest of Team Eight gives her the chance to speak for herself. “And it's…”
Are you finally happy now? Are you still healthy now? It would've been my greatest prayer for you.
Thank you for allowing me to know you and learn more about myself. Thank you for allowing me to grow from the hurt. Thank you for making me realize that I should’ve separated the worship from the love.
You made me feel that I had shone with you, that I had let go of the ugly parts of me from the past — because my greatest inspiration had become my only reason to keep on working on how to love myself.
And thank you for making me realize that I changed because of that.
Thank you for making me realize that all heroes aren't made of gold, that I shouldn't have come to know mine so intimately because you were never made of gold, Naruto-kun — you're only made of human skin and a human soul.
Imperfect. And full of human errors.
Just like me.
And I should have held on to those ugly parts of myself back then and tried to understand as to why they became so ugly in the first place.
They were only ugly because of how they belong to a past that I have desperately wanted to leave behind me. And I realized I shouldn't have tried so hard to abandon them from the start, that I shouldn't have forced myself to be free of their baggage and I shouldn’t have ran away just because they seem so unchangeable to me.
With you, I learned too late that I should've made peace with those parts of myself so my past won't cage and imprison me now. With you...
…it became possible for me to finally say this once and for all, for the first time in almost twenty-two years. And it would've been my first words to you after my last goodbye all those nights back.
From the bottom of my own broken heart,
“...I washed my hands of you.” Hinata smiles solemnly as she looks into an imperfect relationship that has long been gone and lost, but never forgotten. This time, however, there's pride and a lesser broken soul from where she stands on her two imperfect feet still. “...Uzumaki Naruto.”
Silence follows her loved ones wherever they go, that's true — but there's an ending to it all and it's always the one Hinata looks forward to the most.
After silence, there's the sound of hope and her freedom from her prison, after all. And how it was only made possible by the same people who have given her the freedom to stand strong from whatever will follow after their silence — for her to build her character, her resilience and her ever growing humility. That she's being given choices again to decide for herself on what to do, what to feel and how to handle this after what felt like being robbed of choices her entire life.
And right now, they have given her the choice of finding either joy or comfort in their relief that they all mutually share from her confession.
“That's our girl.” Akamaru barks happily, seemingly agreeing with the proud, smirking Inuzuka. Shino only nods, a small twitch of his lips hidden from the front of his collars.
And there’s a sense of satisfaction in Tenten’s shoulders too, Hinata supposes. If she were to observe her right now, it was found even more in the sincerity behind her smile. “Neji-sama would've been proud of you for saying that, Hinata-san.”
Hinata closes her eyes into the shape of moon crescents, truly feeling her heart leap in bouts of small happiness from the words of her cousin's favorite teammate. Thank you. I hope in the afterlife, he will be.
“But why did you ask us to meet in front of the gates though?” Kiba asks, scratching his dog’s head this time as Akamaru grunts in contentment and starts wiggling his tail from the act.
“Oh.” Hinata makes a small ‘o’ with her lips. “I actually expected a much more violent reaction to the news of my engagement. That's why if things ever get physical, we can blow some steam in the forest and use it as training too!”
“Don't worry, Kiba’s too stupid in the morning to react with anything else.” Shino snorts.
“Hey, jackass! I can be sharp and smart when I want to be too—”
“Of course.” Shino hums, nodding. “I never said you were anything less—”
“Well, I’m off.” Tenten makes a small wave, already walking away. Now that all has been said and done, she knew when to take an opportunity to leave when she sees one. “And good luck with your wedding, Hinata-san! Let the Uchiha have a taste of his own medicine and make your uptight cousin proud in the grave!”
Hinata could only do nothing but laugh. “Mm.”
She hardly means it, knowing the other ninja only means well.
“Right, whatever. How about buying us breakfast next since I’ve been feeling hungry for some good, old, tasty burgers—” Kiba declares, smirking wistfully at his taller teammate. “And so I declare we eat at Lightning Burger!”
“We should start thinking about buying the worst gift for the Uchiha too.” The more solitary shinobi agrees, even with his usual opposition to Kiba’s preference for restaurants. “How about a clan of kikaichū to spy on him while he takes his time on the toilet?”
“Oh!” Kiba cackles. “That would be sick! I can give him Akamaru's shit wrapped in Hana-chan’s paper bag too! Or—”
Hinata basks in on a much lighter and easier ambiance her team has settled into now that the cat’s out of the bag. Privately, she instructs herself to later warn her Baba about Team Kurenai’s plan of buying him the absolutely worst wedding gift.
That's one task down. Two more to go!
𓇢𓆸
“Welcome home, Sasuke-kun.” Hinata smiles as she pressed her two oven mitten-covered hands softly against her chest. “How was your mission today?”
“D-rank as always.” Sasuke huffs, clipping off his dark cloak before carelessly tossing it over the couch. He proceeds to take off his shoes and slips in his slippers before eventually walking towards his all-in-one kitchen and dining room. He runs a lazy hand through his damp hair.
He’s more than eager to eat supper after having a long, boring, but taxing day fixing broken spots in the bridge connecting the Land of Fire with the Land of Waves. And with how they often fall into this routine, Hinata trails after him with familiarity as per usual.
“But Hokage-sama says you’ll have your first C-rank mission next week though?” Hinata mentions kindly, taking off the food cover basket from the center of the table and setting it down on the counter behind him. Her fiancè got his plate and chopsticks ready in the meanwhile.
They're having simple donburi, oden and a side of tamagoyaki for dinner tonight. “Only a few days left until then.” Hinata beams.
“Mm.” Sasuke says noncommittally as he snaps his chopsticks in half with one hand, his muscle memory already making it a lot easier than when he first lost his other limb. “How was your day?”
This is it. Hinata thinks to herself again as she sat on the opposite end of Sasuke with her own plate and chopsticks ready. Time to cross off the second task on the list for today, Hinata-san!
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about…um, something important.” The previous Heiress says slowly, avoiding his eyes for a few seconds before eventually steeling herself enough to finally face them head on. “About…what my father said two days ago during our last dinner.”
Hinata sees the way tension pool in his body immediately — like acid from a rain — from the way his shoulders squares, his back straightens and how he unconsciously forces his height to sit a little taller.
“He finally convinced you to abandon me once and for all and find a better home, huh?” Sasuke tries to say it with the littlest of concerns Hinata has ever heard from his lies, trying to come off as unsurprised and bored of the whole thing even.
“It’s—” Hinata cuts herself off, blinking. “What? No.”
It'll only be a matter of time before his panic and anxiety kicks in — and Hinata only realizes that a second too late.
“Then what did he say?” Sasuke asks harshly as he gazes into her eyes, closing his only hand into a tight fist. Hinata sees the anxiety finally come flooding in with the strongest of tides and soon enough, she can read his next thoughts quite relatively well.
That I won't be good to you? That I won't be capable enough of taking care of you once you’ll live with me for the rest of your life? That I’m not even worthy of anything when I’ve burned every bridge and connection I’ve had in my life? That I’ll hurt you, that I’ll tear you down eventually, that I’ll—
Insecurities — from your past, is a pain Hinata understands the most in this world only after Uchiha Sasuke.
You don't have to tell me the things that hurt you a lot when they have been mine as well, Baba.
Insecurities and handling it is her greatest and worst forte after all.
Knowing touching him as of now will only worsen his fears then relieve it, Hinata decides to murmur her next words quietly to him instead. “I still choose you at the end of the day, you know.”
Waiting for a few moments to allow her words to sink in, Hinata smiles in amusement when Sasuke blinks in surprise once he understands the sincerity behind them.
Finding that she couldn't help herself from how endearing this all is to her, Hinata stands to quickly bend over the table and gives him a small kiss on the cheek.
Cute.
“As I was saying,” Hinata cuts herself off again with a shy, embarrassed giggle when Sasuke groans before burying his flushed face into his hand, cursing himself under his breath.
“Don't do that again.” Sasuke grumbles in a surprisingly gentler manner to her. (Only her, if both of them were to be pleasantly realistic.)
“Why?” Hinata unconsciously whines out her confusion.
“If you want it so much,” Sasuke scoffs after some time, having finally gathered enough of himself to lower his hand and look straight into her eyes — with, honest to Kami, the most boyish arrogance known to man. “You can enjoy my body all you want for the rest of the night on our wedding night.”
He follows with a mocking scoff, smirking. “Not like you’ll have to wait too long anyway.”
Hinata realizes then and there — that Uchiha Sasuke can get over any short little kiss she can give him as quickly as he can slip his hands under her shirt to run his fingers over her flat tummy like it's nothing. With how his annoyingly attractive smirk has her heart racing and curling against her chest so pleasantly, making her feel warm and tense at the same time — Hinata grew to despise how the heartthrob has so much control of her without even being granted permission!
She jumps out of her seat and weakly slaps the shinobi in exasperation. “Stupid Uchiha.”
Feeling a little comforted (and entirely unmoved by such a slap), Sasuke merely chuckles at his future wife before adding, “Ah, what's this? Acting so shy again?”
“I never would've thought the Hyuuga Princess could be capable of being so bold when she wants to be.” The jerk cooes. “Is this how you flirt your way into a date with your men, Hyuuga?”
“Uchiha.” Hinata tries to hide her extremely blushing face from his teasing eyes, groaning. It's her turn to bury her face into her hands. “O-of course not.”
“Don't be shy.” Sasuke tuts playfully, leaning back onto his chair as he gazes at her with an interest only unique to men. Hinata regrets taking that rare chance of kissing him off guard now. “You know I always like it like that.”
“Can we please stop talking about this? Please?” Hinata hisses softly, coming off kind and sweet despite the urgency behind her tone.
“Hn.” He shrugs noncommittally, couldn't stop himself from breaking into a laugh to the side after — and it has Hinata’s chest tightening and curling for the second time again. Stupid, charming, and handsome Uchiha.
Stupid attractive Uchiha for making me feel things!
“Alright, um.” Hinata takes a long, deep breath to get her thoughts back on track.
Having more control of her emotions, she finally allows to turn the tides of the conversation into something actually worth its weight. “Sasuke, Father has confided in me about your counter proposition on our marriage a few days ago.”
Sasuke doesn't say anything how she had brought this up two days too late but she can see the understanding surrounding his dark eyes immediately. He already knows where she's taking this.
“And…h-he’s mentioned to me about you having something in your hands that can make it consecutively null and void.” Hinata takes a few moments to breathe in again, trying to soothe the mothflies in her stomach. There's no turning back on this now and she has long accepted that. “Sasuke, Father said you blackmailed them into silence.”
Sasuke observes her — from the way she communicates her thoughts through the determination in her face, the tension in her own shoulders, and through the uneasiness in her stiff back. She can see it all clearly from the way his eyes linger on her entirely.
His eyes, though quiet, are the most expressive thing about him, after all.
“And I don't understand.” Hinata finally admits to him, still so utterly confused about this. “If you found a way out of this, why even decide to proceed with the marriage anyway? You’re free now, Sasuke-kun.”
“So why choose to fall into this prison with me?” Hinata’s aware that she could’ve worded this out a little better but the truth still remains. “Why?”
She expects him to let silence answer for him again, at least for some time. She expects to see him gather his thoughts first before ultimately disappointing her with what he has to say at the end (selfish and inconsiderate, she knows — but she's at her wits end.)
To Hinata’s surprise, however, Sasuke answers her as soon as she finishes raising her questions in the open air. “I can't tell you.”
“Eh?” Hinata frowns as she whimpers softly, blinking in confusion.
Sasuke only hums at her, lips twitching into an amused and enchantingly fond smirk. “At least not until tomorrow.”
“Eh?” Hinata’s even more confused now.
Sasuke slowly reaches for one of her hands on the table and she allows him to carefully intertwine their fingers together and hold onto her as if he loves her and because he loves her, it's why he has to hold her as if she's fragile to him. And as content and happier as he looks as of this moment compared to eight months ago, she still feels the same hollow sadness in the warmth of his hands. “What I’m trying to say is…”
Sasuke licks his lips, his jaw now tight. “...don't rely your happiness on me too much.”
Hinata twitches her mouth into a scowl, not understanding what he means by this. “Why would you say that, Bab—Sasuke-kun?”
Sasuke hums in solemn amusement at her little slip, at least.
“One hundred Thursdays, give me that time to keep giving my best to make you happy.” He answers vaguely but there was never any difficulty for her to comprehend the mystery behind them somehow, perhaps because she's grown a bit more familiar to him than before and how his temperament and personality completely compliments her own. “Besides, aren't I already on my 33rd one next week? If we're going to count from the first Thursday eight months back until now.”
“...ah.”
“But…” Sasuke winces, it feels like he's trying to communicate himself for the first time since the day Itachi took everything from him. And to put it lightly, it's a huge fucking pain in the ass. “...understand there’s only so much I can give you. There's only so much happiness I can give you.”
“I have never known what it is to continue living for anyone but for the sake of one fucking goal — and even after achieving that, it feels like I still haven't left that fucking hollowness in my past. There's shit in my history, there's shit in my present and there’ll be more for me to throw against you in the future.”
“But—if I were to be honest with myself as well, if it weren't for you…I wouldn't have anything else left to live for. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't even still be here. Breathing. Alive. Broken. Prideful and a piece of shit still, maybe — but alive.”
“And I will hurt you. It's a package that comes with choosing to be with me. Or something.” Sasuke swallows with difficulty, trying not to run away from this any more than he already had by lashing out at her and using her attachment for him as a weapon against her. The past has taught him that lesson, at least.
And the present taught him to handle the only person left who can convince him to stay as if she's human too.
“And I will keep hurting you for as long as you’ll keep choosing me.” Quietly, Hinata listens to him without making another word. And instead of opting to listen to her fears from where this is going, she decides to listen to the only man left who can actually convince her to leave the village once and for all. If the old Heiress can convince him to stay, the current Head of the Uchiha Clan can convince her to leave. That’s just how it is for the both of them. “Besides, young as I was, I made a promise with the Lady of the Hyuuga Clan then that if I were to keep you, it's only inevitable that I will also have to make mistakes with you.”
Sasuke grimaces at the end. “As pathetically cheesy as that sounds …”
“You made a promise with my mother?” Hinata widens her eyes, surprised.
Sasuke hums dryly before nodding; the small smirk on his lips looking more bitter than sweet. “I guess you can call it that. I was ten years old, pretty dark thoughts for a brat my age, huh?”
“I…” Hinata tries to think about it, trying to look more into the conversation of the two most formal people she never thought would even share one in the first place. “What else did you say to her before she died?”
“That's where tomorrow comes in to answer for me.” Sasuke lets out a deep breath from his chest before releasing Hinata's hand and leaning back in his chair again. “Don't be afraid, though. Didn't I say you won't go through tomorrow alone anymore? It won't be bad, you won't have reasons to be anxious about it.”
“But…” Sasuke looks into her eyes with a tension that reminds her of what she saw in him the night the blood moon arose when they turned eighteen all those years back. “Don't take my words too lightly right now. There will be consequences for loving a person of my name.”
“And you’ll see just how easy it is to hate me just as how easy it is for me to love you.”
Hinata tries not to melt at the self-deprecation in his words, at how her insecurities and her views of the ugliness of her past seem to be equally shared by Sasuke with his own. And not for the first time, Hinata sees herself in Sasuke's eyes and she realizes right then and there that that's the reason why she has a soft spot for him.
Why it's exactly hard for her to admit that — because she's easy to be loved by him, he doesn't realize how easy it is for him to grow tired of her too.
Both of us are broken. Hinata shares a quiet, somber peace with the tired, torn down man. But because we are broken together, it doesn't feel lonely anymore.
“Through thick and thin.” Hinata makes her first promise to him. “This is my promise to you, Uchiha Sasuke.”
“That I’ll be with you through thick and thin.” She always wears a smile on her face despite how life was never really kind to her — and it's probably another reason among one hundred why Sasuke has chosen to stand by her. “Through the best and worst times, through your ugly and your beautiful. I’ll be with you.”
Sasuke doesn't look like as if he believes her. And that's okay.
“But don't let me just say it.” Hinata says with the most love and loyalty for a man she’ll ever have and feels it surround her eyes.
“But instead, let me show it too.”
𓇢𓆸
Laying in bed and comfortably entangled in each other's limbs once more, Hinata hums in contentment as she nuzzles her cheek against the softness and coziness of Sasuke's pillow as she allows the bigger man to nuzzle into her.
Just when Sasuke started peppering demanding kisses against the skin on her neck again, Hinata suddenly gasps as she instantly remembers something important. She quickly turns around to face the darker man completely, all laid down underneath him and everything — and lets out a very bright, very excited, “No.”
Sasuke blinks, as his hand slowly lowers to naturally settle beside her head to support his weight. He ignores how his lower body is pressing against hers a little more hotly now. “What?”
“No.” Hinata repeats just as brightly and excitedly, beaming with the same radiance from the moonlight itself. Can't believe I almost forgot this one. “You can enjoy my body all you want for the rest of the night on our wedding night.”
“...” For a while there was silence.
And that's when Sasuke suddenly bursts out laughing.
And Hinata can't help but to quietly smile at the sincerity behind it all. It makes her feel more peaceful and pleasant that Sasuke's feeling a little lighter and at ease too.
Eventually he falls back to his side of the bed as his amusement eventually subsides into a simmering chuckle, a lingering smile still ever present on his handsome face. “Fine. I’ll have you all to myself for the rest of my nights anyway.”
Hinata ignores the blush on her cheeks as she nods. “M-mm!”
Third task down. All complete!
“Where are you having breakfast tomorrow?” Sasuke asks after his chuckling has died down, turning his head to look at her impertinently. “You won't have another mission outside the village again, will you?”
“I won't have them anymore until the wedding. I informed the Hokage about it already and will only be helping around the hospital until then.” Hinata informs him, slowly turning on her side to face him too. “I’ll be spending breakfast tomorrow here if you’ll have me.”
“Mm.” Sasuke hums noncommittally, intertwining his fingers with hers while they lay above the blankets. “I have somewhere to take you before you eventually leave for the hospital.”
“Hm?” Hinata perks up in curiosity. “Where is it, Baba?”
Sasuke's only answer was a sentence and a smile. “That's where tomorrow comes in to answer for me again.”
…I love you. Hinata’s only reply to him was a radiant smile and another kiss on his cheek.
I love you. For the first time in her life, it's the first thought that came to mind when Hinata looks at Uchiha Sasuke.
And from the bottom of her broken heart, she knew it wouldn't be her last.