Chapter Text
She froze.
Her hand still clasping the handle, she wanted to pretend that she hadn't heard her name, but etiquette demanded she respond and who was she to deny her upbringing.
"Yes?" She smiled as sweetly as she could, not certain of the words that were about to come out of this young woman's mouth.
"I didn't mean to... I wanted to feel something familiar."
Chelina arched an eyebrow and blinked a few times, certain that she had miss heard her. When she didn't respond, Cinderella continued.
"I mean to say," She stepped forward slightly, "I mean I haven't done this... Kiss... Kiss another woman, that's not what I meant when I say familiarity." She strained her thoughts and began fidgeting with some imaginary piece of material on her arm.
"I am, alone here, you know this, as I've complained to you when I shouldn't have done, but I should be whole heartedly happy that I am here with my betrothed love, it’s just," Cinderella looked at Chelina, "it’s just I don't entirely belong here on all levels, I'm used to hard work and unkind words. I... I think at times I may be to courteous and polite for even the court to understand... And I know that's silly..." She shook her head and smiled at the thought. "My mother... My mother said I should see the world not as it is but as I wish it. And this is what I wished for, this is what I saw. But," Chelina looked into her room then back at Cinderella, who seemed to have difficulty forming the new sentence. She should have just closed the door, but she couldn't. She didn't want to. She still had an infuriating amount of hope.
"But," Cinderella continued forcing Chelina to give her full attention once more. "I am lonely here, and I realise I have not been here long, but I know I am lonely, I have been lonely for such a long time. I seem to have taken a much longer time... to grow up, to learn that the world is harsh, unforgiving at times, and in doing so, everybody I loved or knew is gone. Yes there are those I grew up with and helped, but they see me as the child, perhaps even a simpleton at my belief that things would change of their own accord. And I think it’s by blind luck that they did, that I happened here."
Cinderella stopped, not knowing if her words made sense but unwilling to explain more.
"So you kissed me because?" Chelina pushed forward, perhaps a bit more angrily than intended as Cinderella winced at her tone.
"Because I somehow seem to have learned more about you in two days than I have Kit this last month. I can see you are unique, strong, amiably hilarious, patient, passionate and different. Different in the fact that you too are alone here. That you to are alone in your heart." She walked closer to Chelina, her hand seeking hers, which was found. "In you I see the truest friend and I know friends don't kiss... But it seemed right somehow. An expression of how much you mean to me in such little time."
"...and what if all those words you used to describe me are but falsities I choose to show you?"
"There is no way on earth you could be you and not be all those things I've said and more. So much more." Cinderella smiled a smile that hurt Chelina to the very bottom of her soul. She swallowed loudly, thinking she should quit while ahead, but she couldn't. This girl would not betray her trust, regardless of the truth she began to utter. She hoped, she prayed.
"...what if," she stroked the back of Cinderellas hand with her thumb, a movement to calm her own nerves, swallowing again in a vain attempt to calm her beating heart, "what if I am more different than you think. What if I wanted you to.. To.."
" To what?"
"kiss..." She mumbled the word and Cinderella tilted her head and asked again.
"...what if I wanted you to ki... Kiss me again." Dear lord, where was this strong woman Cinderella mentioned. Perhaps she was left in the carriage?
"Oh."
Puckering her brows in thought, Cinderella pictured kissing Chelina again. The idea wasn't repulsive and it was just a kiss. It would be a kiss between fast growing friends, and there was nothing wrong with it. She was certain Kit would understand if he knew. She smiled and looked up at Chelina, who seemed to have lost every ounce of her composure.
"Who am I to deny a princesses request but a future queen-ly-ness."
"That's not a word." Chelina rebutted quickly, then took stock of the whole sentence and blushed, somehow becoming redder than her lips, which now pink lips seemed to occupy.
This time it was less a peck of lips and more a secret hushed between them. Soft and tender; slow and wanting. The darkest pit of Chelina exploded into light, Cinderella felt something collapse inside her sending forth a wash of want.
Before either of them realised how, the door was shut behind them, Cinderella in her soft cerise and white gown found herself pushed against the closed door, Chelinas hand still clasping hers, the folds of her dress turning into crinkled turrets as a tanned hand dragged upwards. She didn't push her away. She didn't want to. What she did want was to know where that hand was going, and why hadn't the brief kisses with Kit felt like this?
Chelina felt something roam on her back then up towards her neck and tied up hair. She let go of the other hand and allowed herself to embrace Cinderellas slight waist. Finding her desired ones legs bare of stockings she couldn't help but travel up, feeling every inch of soft flushed skin against her own palm.
The hand that had hung limp at Cinderellas side came to life and deliberately traced its way up the dressed stomach, desperately wanting to feel what was beneath. A throaty low moan escaped her as she felt Chelinas' tongue carefully caress her own.
Forcing herself to breakaway, Chelina stopped. She took two large steps backwards, her cheeks glowing along with every other part of her being. She could see the dissatisfaction in the figure by the door. She could tell that had she not deterred off this path, Cinderella would have been more than a willing partner. The idea of it almost made her step back, but she could see in the dim firelight that had been lit earlier in the evening that Cinderella realised she had been on the cusp of something she may not be so willing to explore. Besides, she was a liar. She was here to lie and steal from this gorgeous woman. She knew now she couldn't steal the King, she could see that he loved her. She could see that Cinderella loved him.
"I should take my leave." The silence was broken, the desire they both had now hissed like the slow dying fire. Cinderella straightened her dress and smoothed it out, unconsciously wiping her lips then touching them softly.
"Yes. I am sorry. I should not have said what I said."
" No. Don't apologies Chelina. We are true friends. Perhaps tomorrow we shall laugh at this." Her sudden chipper demeanour was unsettling to say the least. Chelina smiled and bobbed her head in reply.
"Goodnight then." And before a response could be given, she was out the door, leaving a distressed wide eyed foreign princess alone to muse over her true reason for being here and whether or not she could truly do what she intended.
That night neither woman slept well.
***
The ink dripped onto paper forming dark blotches. A quill tipped with the same liquid hovered above its counterpart, illuminated by the early morning light and what was left of a tallow candle. The words never seemed to find a way through the harsh questions she asked herself, her dark tresses' loose about her serving as a curtain to block everything out. What was she blocking out? Why couldn't she jot down the simple words to request her fathers’ assistance?
She dipped the quill once more and brought it out starting her sentence anew.
*Dearest father.
I feel that failure has plagued me from the moment I set foot on soil. I have become distracted, allowing myself to fall prey to passions I do not wish to hinder your mind with. I find that doubt has crept into every crevice of my creature.
Mother would not be pleased, nor would you. I know you love me, but how could you love a creature that is far from right, far from what you dreamed of. Perhaps I am filled with canker and rot. Could it be cut out?
I wish for something that has no part in my future, I crave that which is impossible. I do not speak of the Crown. Although the better part of whom I am knows it easier and better to want that instead.
Can I truly be considering discarding my dream as you suggested? To marry some poor old sod and become a duchess to someone's Earl. To spend my life giving pleasure to a man I most likely will not love, will not respect me, will not love me and somehow raise his children and not eye them with contempt at a life I could not have?
Shall I resign myself to a life of loneliness instead then? To pine away for what I never actually had.
Dare I say shall I try to get what I find to be newly flourished in my chest, would it be a fault? Is it returned? How would I? With every answer I find far more questions.
If yo- *
The pen stopped as the door swung open to reveal Abigail. It was too late to burn the letter as Chelina planned, so she would feign unimportance and attempt to destroy it some other way.
"Milady!"
"Yes? What is it Abigail?"
"N...nothing! I was just surprised to find you awake so early." She curtsied her way into the room.
"Would you like me to take your letter to the courier milady? Once you’re done of course."
" What?" Chelina looked down at the blotchy scrawled message. "No. It’s merely a rough draft, more akin to chicken scratch." She smiled in what she hoped was a dismissive smile. "I'll throw it away once I'm done."
Abigail was at the height of her suspicion but as a handmaiden she had no right to continue pressing the matter.
"As you wish milady." She curtsied again. "Oh yes I am meant to inform you that the Kings fiancés' fitting will take place after breakfast in her chambers."
The Kings fiancé. She had to keep those three words in her mind or she may find herself in a new sort of situation.
"Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me."
"Oh, but milady am I not to help you dress?"
"I am more than capable of throwing on a dress, Abigail." Chelina hissed at her impatiently. This woman had a tendency to annoy every ounce of her being.
"Why don't you go find out the latest castle gossip?" Her eyes narrowed as Abigail curtsied and dashed away with a yes milady.
She looked back down again at the paper that held confessions, her strength to write the last few sentences that still burdened her, failing.
Her lungs took in a sharp breath as she dipped the quill again.
*If you could see it in your heart to understand. Or you could see it in your heart to accept, and then perhaps the answer would be easy.
But I fear it is not. For I lust, perhaps even more so than that, for the girl in the glass slippers.
Forgive me
Sincerely Chelina *