Chapter Text
"What’s all this, then?" Amerie’s voice sliced through the quiet, laced with confusion, with something fragile underneath. She was staring at the suitcases, the neatly packed bags by the door. Matt swallowed, his grip tightening around the handle of his carry-on. He couldn’t meet her eyes.
"You’re leaving?" Her voice cracked. "We can make long distance work. We—"
He exhaled, long and slow, before finally looking at her. She was searching his face for reassurance, for hope, for something he couldn’t give her.
"No, Amerie" He placed his hands on her shoulders, grounding himself as much as her. "I’m leaving because I’ll be happier somewhere else."
He felt her body tense beneath his touch. Then, after a beat—
"So there is someone else ."
Not a question. A realization. A gut punch of betrayal.
Matt closed his eyes for a second. He had never wanted to hurt her. Amerie was kind, steady, familiar. He did love her. Just… not enough. Not the way he loved him .
Because Chris had always been there, in the corners of his heart he had tried to ignore. It wasn’t a fleeting thing, wasn’t an infatuation he could rationalize away. It was a force. A gravitational pull. Loving Chris had rearranged his entire existence, had set him on fire and dared him to burn for more.
"Yes" he said. Just that. Because there was nothing else to say.
The slap came hard and fast. His face stung, but he didn’t react, didn’t move. He had seen it coming, had made peace with it the moment he chose honesty over cowardice.
"You’re a fucking idiot, Matt." Amerie’s voice trembled, but her anger didn’t waver. She took a sharp breath, blinking too quickly, trying too hard to hold herself together. Then she let out a hollow laugh, one that barely masked the bitterness underneath. "I hope whoever you’re throwing me away for doesn’t last."
That— that —hurt more than the slap. Because she was right.
Matt knew this love wasn’t built for forever. He knew that time would try to pry it from his hands, that the world would push them into separate lanes—careers, expectations, responsibilities. At some point, people would start asking questions. Why he was still single. Why he hadn’t settled down, gotten married, had kids.
And maybe they would fold under the weight of it all. Maybe one day, they’d decide it was easier to let go.
But right now , they had this . And Matt wasn’t going to waste another second pretending it wasn’t worth everything.
There was a time when Matt convinced himself it was just a phase, just two hormonal teenagers getting lost in something they weren’t supposed to feel. He told himself it would pass, that life would pull them in different directions, that they would grow out of it. But he never did. The years only sharpened what he felt, made it clearer, undeniable. He had fought it, overthought it, tortured himself with the weight of it—because loving Chris had never been simple. It had been terrifying, overwhelming, wrong in the eyes of the world.
But Matt didn’t care anymore. Their blood didn’t matter, not to him, not to the way Chris made his heart race or how just the thought of seeing him again made his chest tighten with something desperate and real. He was done hesitating, done running, done pretending this love was something he could control. He was getting on that plane. He was going to show up, unannounced, and wrap his arms around Chris like he should have done long ago. And this time, he wouldn’t let go—not until life forced him to.
Matt had spent the last year pouring everything he had into making this happen. With Nick’s help, he had worked three jobs—morning shifts at a coffee shop, late nights stocking shelves, and weekends at a supermarket—scraping together every dollar until he could afford a place for them in California. Chris had no idea. He didn’t know about the exhaustion Matt had pushed through, the nights he barely slept, the moments he wanted to break but didn’t—because every time he thought about giving up, he thought about him .
About how Chris hated dorm life, how he deserved more than cramped spaces and shared bathrooms. He had chosen an apartment close to Chris’ university, and his too—the one he had secretly transferred to. And, of course, it had three bedrooms. One for him. One for Chris. And one for Nick, who could visit whenever he wanted or even move in after college. Because this wasn’t just about now, this was about building something real, about a future Matt refused to let slip away. He didn’t know how Chris would react, if he’d be overwhelmed or if he’d get it —if he’d finally understand how much Matt had been willing to do for them.
But Matt couldn’t wait to show him, to prove that this wasn’t just a reckless feeling, wasn’t just a passing thing. They would figure out the rest together. They could work to keep paying the rent, to keep this dream alive. Matt had done his part. Now, all he needed was for Chris to say yes.
Matt had fucked up before— badly .
He had stayed behind when he should have followed, let doubt creep in when he should have held on. Both of them had been scared, unsure of what the future held, of what their love meant beyond stolen moments and whispered promises. They were young, and the world made them feel like what they had wasn’t built to last. So Matt hesitated. He convinced himself that staying was the right choice, that distance would give them clarity, that if it was meant to be, it would survive the miles between them. But all it did was leave them aching, waiting, drifting.
This was him fixing it. He wasn’t staying behind this time. He had made his choice, and it was Chris. It had always been Chris. He had spent too long letting fear dictate his life, overthinking until he had almost lost the one thing that made him feel alive . But not anymore. This time, he was running towards what he wanted, towards who he wanted. They were going to be together. No more waiting. No more what ifs. Just them .
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹
The apartment was nearly empty, but to Matt, it already felt like the beginning of something real. The essentials were there—their beds, a couch, a TV, a few decorations to make it feel less like an empty space and more like a home. But it wasn’t one yet. Not without him . Chris was the missing piece, the one thing that would make these four walls theirs .
As soon as they stepped inside, Nick let out a low whistle before turning to Matt with a grin, his excitement impossible to hide. Then, without warning, he pulled him into a tight hug, clapping him on the back with enthusiasm. "Matty, I’m so fucking proud of you" he said, voice full of something deeper than just pride—relief, happiness, maybe even a little awe.
Matt exhaled a small laugh, though nerves twisted in his stomach. "You think he’ll like it?"
Nick pulled back, looking at him like he had just asked the dumbest question in the world. "Are you kidding? He’s gonna die " Then he smirked. "Though, he’s definitely gonna be pissed you did all this on your own."
Matt shrugged, a small, guilty smile playing on his lips. "I wanted to surprise him."
Nick shook his head, but there was no real disapproval in his expression—just that older brother kind of fondness.
Matt cleared his throat, suddenly feeling a little awkward. "Uh, by the way… I got a room for you too. I mean, you don’t have to move in or anything, but it’s there. Whenever you want."
Nick’s teasing grin softened into something real. "Matt…" He hesitated for a second, then nodded. "You need to be damn sure that I’m moving with you guys as soon as I’m done with college.”
They stood there for a beat, the weight of the moment settling between them. Then Nick clapped his hands together. "Alright, let’s do this. I’ll go find Chris, tell him I’m in town and I wanna take him somewhere. He won’t suspect a thing."
Matt nodded, running a hand through his hair. His heart was pounding, but he knew— knew —this was the right thing. "Yeah. Let’s do it ."
Nick gave him one last reassuring smile before heading out, leaving Matt alone in the empty apartment.
Matt sighed, looking around. He could picture it now—Chris stretched out on the couch, complaining about his classes, the sound of their laughter filling the space. It was going to take time to adjust, to settle into this new life, but for the first time in a long time, he felt like something heavy had lifted off his shoulders. He had made his choice.
He was in California. And everything was going to be okay.
Matt had never felt this kind of nervousness before—not the shaky, uncertain fear of doing something wrong, but the kind that came with knowing he was about to change everything . He paced the living room, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, his mind racing with a thousand different versions of how this could go. Would Chris be overwhelmed? Would he be happy ? Would he be pissed that Matt had done this all behind his back? His heart was practically jumping out of his chest, but underneath all the nerves was something deeper—pure, unfiltered joy . They had planned to see each other at Christmas, counting down the days like it was some distant dream, but Chris had no idea that he was about to get his biggest surprise yet.
Needing to distract himself, Matt took a long shower, letting the warm water calm his nerves. He changed into something comfortable—soft sweats and a hoodie, exhaustion from the trip still lingering in his body. But as soon as he pulled the hoodie over his head, he heard the door open and ran to the living room.
His breath caught in his throat.
Then—
“Nick, what the fuck —” Chris’ voice came from the entrance, muffled but full of annoyance. “Why do I have to be blindfolded? If this is one of your stupid jokes, I swear to God—”
“Shut the fuck up and keep walking” Nick snapped, his voice edged with amusement.
“I will walk straight into a wall just to spite you” Chris threatened, his steps cautious as he was led forward. “Why does it smell nice in here? If this is some elaborate setup to get me killed, at least tell me how you’re getting rid of the body.”
Matt smiled at that. Even blindfolded, Chris was still Chris .
Chris took a few more hesitant steps inside. “Can I please take this thing off now?”
“No, fuckface, wait” Nick said, exasperated, before glancing at Matt like, Well? What now?
Matt swallowed hard, his hands trembling as he took a step closer. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, imagined a hundred different ways it would happen, but now that Chris was here , just inches away, he didn’t know how to move, how to breathe, how to speak .
He wanted to run to him. He wanted to pull him into his arms, bury his face in his shoulder, kiss him until he couldn’t breathe. But more than anything, he wanted to see Chris' reaction.
So he stood there, his heart pounding against his ribs, too nervous to do anything but stare, waiting for the moment Chris would finally see him.
The room went silent, an electric stillness that hung between them like the calm before a storm. Chris stopped moving altogether. Matt watched, his heart hammering in his chest, as Chris stood there, his breath quickening, eyes still covered. For a moment, it felt like the world had stopped, like Chris was holding his breath.
Then Nick, sensing the shift, looked at Matt with a furrowed brow and then he directed his attention to Chris "What’s wrong?" he asked, his tone now softer, more concerned.
Chris’ voice, when it came, was barely above a whisper. “I… I felt like Matt was here. ”
Matt’s heart melted in an instant, and everything seemed to slow down. It wasn’t just the words—it was the way Chris had said them, like he had somehow known , even before Matt had spoken a word. How did he know? How could he sense him, even without seeing him?
Matt’s chest tightened, and the sudden rush of emotion made him feel dizzy, like he was standing on the edge of something too big to grasp. He didn’t collapse from it, though. Instead, he found his voice and said softly, “It’s because I’m here.”
At that, Chris’ hands moved instinctively, his fingers reaching for the blindfold, tearing it off in a flash. When their eyes met, it felt like the universe shifted. Chris stood there, frozen for a second, his face pale with disbelief, his eyes wide. Then, as if he couldn’t hold back any longer, his body surged forward, hands grabbing Matt with a desperation that broke Matt’s breath in half.
"Oh my God , what are you doing here?" Chris murmured, his voice raw, shaking. He kissed Matt’s face like he was trying to memorize every inch of him—his forehead, his cheeks, his lips—his mouth frantic against Matt’s skin as if he couldn’t get close enough. Every kiss was a promise, every touch a silent vow that this was real, that they were finally here. And Matt, trembling with emotion, kissed him back just as fiercely, as if he, too, had been starved for this moment.
Matt pulled back slightly, needing a moment to look into Chris' eyes, needing him to understand the depth of everything he had done. Chris was still holding onto him like a lifeline, his hands trembling against Matt’s shirt, his breath shallow from the intensity of the moment.
Matt opened his mouth, his voice low and filled with the weight of everything he was about to say. "I’ve been working, Chris. Working for us. For this. I wanted to surprise you—I didn’t want you to know until it was real. I didn’t want to just say I was doing it, I wanted to show you. I’ve been saving for months, working to make sure we had a place. It’s here. It’s ours. We’re gonna be together, no more distance. No more waiting. I want this. "
Chris blinked rapidly, the words barely registering at first. His eyes searched Matt’s face, disbelief written all over him. “You… you’ve been working for months ?” he asked, his voice cracking with a mix of awe and confusion. “For us?”
Matt nodded, his heart in his throat. “For us. For you. For me . For a life we can actually live together, without all the bullshit, without waiting for the right time. I don’t want to wait anymore, Chris. I don’t want to keep wondering what if, what might happen—this is it. This is us."
Chris’ eyes started to glisten, tears welling up, and he blinked them away quickly, as though trying to hold on to his composure. He shook his head, a soft laugh escaping him. “I thought I was crazy, missing you so much… I thought you were just busy or something. But it all makes sense now. The long hours, the late nights... you were working for us. ”
Matt gently cupped Chris’ face, his thumb brushing the tears that had begun to slip down his cheeks. “I wasn’t just working, Chris. I was building something. Something that’s ours. I was building our future, together. So we could wake up every morning and not wonder if we’d made a mistake. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
Chris closed his eyes for a moment, taking a shaky breath, his chest heaving as if he was holding something in. When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with that familiar mixture of love and something deeper. “I can’t believe you did all of this... Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me help? I would’ve... I could’ve—"
Matt shook his head gently, his voice soft but firm. “I didn’t want you to think I was doing it out of guilt or pressure. I wanted to show you, Chris. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to do anything. This is me showing you how much I love you, how much I want this with you. All of it. No more hiding. No more pretending I’m not scared of messing it up.”
Chris’ lips parted, his emotions so open that it felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I don’t even know what to say. I... I can’t believe you did this. It’s—it’s insane, Matt. You’ve been working your ass off for months and I had no idea.” He let out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief. “All this time, I’ve been thinking about Christmas, thinking I’d just see you then, and now you’re here. This... this is real?”
Matt’s heart swelled. “Yeah. It’s real. And I’m here. With you. We’re here. This is our chance. No more waiting. Just say yes, Chris. Just say you’ll be with me.”
Chris took a deep breath, his hands still gripping Matt’s shirt like he was afraid he’d disappear. “Of course I’ll be with you. Of course, Matt. But… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you—"
“I wanted it to be a surprise” Matt interrupted softly, almost shyly. “I wanted to show you, not just talk about it. I wanted to do this for you, for us. I didn’t want to just tell you I was doing it. I wanted you to see it. To feel it, you know?”
Chris’ face crumpled slightly, his eyes full of awe, gratitude, and that overwhelming love that had always been there, simmering just beneath the surface. “You’re insane” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. “You’re crazy , Matt. But you’re everything I ever wanted. And you know that.”
Matt’s chest tightened with relief, with joy. He kissed Chris softly, briefly, just to feel him there, to make sure this was real. When he pulled back, Chris’ smile was broken, wide, and full of so much raw emotion that Matt couldn’t help but smile too.
“I’ve been waiting for you to say yes” Matt said, voice barely above a whisper, but full of everything he needed. “And I promise, we’ll figure out the rest. Together. No more doubts. Just us. Always.”
Chris nodded, tears still shimmering in his eyes, but now with a soft smile on his lips. “Yeah. Always. ”
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹
Matt led Chris through the apartment, showing him each room with a nervous excitement that bubbled up whenever their eyes met. But Chris, unable to pull away from him for even a moment, his hand firmly pressed to Matt’s waist from the back, his fingers brushing the fabric of his hoodie, holding him close. Every time Matt tried to step ahead, Chris would pull him back slightly, leaning in to plant soft, lingering kisses on the side of his neck, making Matt giggle despite the nervous tension still settling in his chest. He could feel the warmth of Chris' breath, the tenderness of each kiss, and it made everything feel right . This was real. This was them.
They walked around the apartment like that, tangled in each other’s presence. It didn’t matter what room they were in or what it looked like yet. All that mattered was the two of them, together, in this space that Matt had worked for just for them. Every now and then, Chris would press another kiss to his neck, whispering a soft, "I can’t believe you did all of this" making Matt smile even wider.
After a while, when they finally said goodbye to Nick, who had stayed long enough to share in their joy, Matt and Chris retreated to the bedroom. They didn’t need much. It was a quiet, intimate space—new, but filled with the promise of what they would make of it. They rested down together, tangled up in the sheets, with Chris’ arms wrapped around Matt’s waist and his head resting against his chest. The feeling of being so close to each other, of being in this place together, felt like a new beginning. There was something inside Matt’s chest, soft and delicate, like a flower blooming. A sense of peace and certainty he hadn’t realized he was missing.
They talked about everything and nothing, about their love, their memories, and their future. Chris still couldn’t quite believe it. His voice was soft, almost incredulous. “I just... I still can’t believe you’re here, in our place. It feels like a dream. Just saying it out loud makes me feel like I’m dreaming.”
Matt smiled, running his fingers through Chris’ hair as he gazed at him with nothing but affection. “It’s real, Chris. We’re real.”
Chris’ voice faltered slightly. “Yeah, but we—we still have so much time. What happens when we don’t have this? When everything changes?”
Matt’s heart tightened. He had been thinking the same thing, but he didn’t want to say it out loud. He didn’t want to acknowledge the ticking clock that was always in the background. “I want to spend as much time as I can with you, before people start asking questions, before it all changes” Matt said softly, his fingers tracing patterns on Chris’ back.
Chris went silent for a moment, and Matt could feel his gaze shifting, searching him out. He looked down at Chris, noticing the intensity in his eyes, the way his lips pressed together like he was holding something back.
"What?" Matt asked, his voice quieter now, a little nervous.
Chris met his eyes, and for a long while, they just stared at each other, no words spoken, the weight of the silence growing thicker with every passing second. Finally, Chris spoke, his voice low, almost hesitant.
“I never want to see you get married... or with kids.” He said it like it was a raw, aching truth that had been sitting in his chest for a long time. “I don’t want someone else to have the kids with your eyes.”
Matt’s heart clenched painfully at his words, a sudden sharp ache filling his chest. He didn’t know how to respond at first, but he could feel the sincerity in Chris’ voice, the depth of emotion behind his words. It was possessive, yes, but it wasn’t about control. It was about love— his love, the kind of love that wanted to keep them together forever, without anyone else ever taking that place.
Matt swallowed hard, feeling something unspoken pass between them. He gently cupped Chris' face, bringing him in for a slow, lingering kiss. "We still have so much time."
Chris, unable to resist any longer, slowly pushed himself up, his body moving with a mix of urgency and tenderness, as though he couldn’t get close enough, as if he needed to feel Matt in every way possible. He leaned in, his breath warm against Matt's lips, before kissing him deeply.
The kiss was slow at first, tentative, but then it quickly grew more desperate, as if they were both starving for something that only the other could give. Their mouths moved together in an unhurried rhythm, each kiss more intense than the last—wet, hot, and full of emotion.
Chris pressed his body closer to Matt’s, his hands gripping the back of his neck, pulling him in tighter, as if he were afraid of losing the connection. Every touch, every movement was a wordless confession, an expression of everything they’d been holding back for so long. The kiss was messy with emotion, full of need, as if they couldn’t wait another second to express how much they meant to each other. Matt responded in kind, his hands roaming to Chris’ sides, holding him close, deepening the kiss further. It was intimate in the most vulnerable, desperate way—two souls colliding in the most perfect, fragile moment of togetherness.
The urgency in their kisses grew as they slowly began to undress each other, hands trembling with anticipation and longing. It had been too long since they'd been this close, this intimate, and it felt like it was the first time all over again.
Matt’s breath hitched, shaky and uneven, as his eyes traced Chris’ lips, wanting more—needing more. He kissed him again, deeper this time, as if he was trying to taste every part of him, to make up for all the time they’d spent apart. The weight of their closeness, the feeling of their bare skin brushing together, sent electric shivers down Matt’s spine. His fingers were restless, fumbling slightly as they moved to the waistband of Chris' jeans, tugging them off with a delicate urgency.
Matt bit Chris’ lower lip gently, a teasing motion that made his pulse race, before he pulled back just enough to look at him again. Chris’ eyes were dark with desire, his hands already moving to Matt’s shirt, pulling it off him with similar desperation. It felt unrestrained, every movement a reflection of how much they had craved this moment. There was no hesitation now—just the pull of their bodies, the need to feel each other in a way that only they could understand. The world outside had faded, leaving just the two of them, tangled in the most vulnerable, powerful intimacy.
Matt loved to feel Chris inside of him, how it made him lose control completely. His thrusts were slow and romantic, and as he did it he kissed every inch of Matt’s neck, he kissed him passionately on the mouth and touched what was his: Matt.
Matt loved the feeling of being so connected to Chris, of how everything around them seemed to disappear when they were together like this. It was as if time itself had slowed down, and he could only focus on the rhythm of their movements, the closeness, the shared warmth. With each kiss, each movement, Matt felt how his stomach heated, it was a pleasure he couldn’t describe with words. Chris' hands roamed over him, caressing him with a reverence that made Matt feel seen, cherished in a way that words couldn’t capture. The kisses they shared were slow and full of affection, every one a quiet promise, and in those moments, Matt felt like he was finally whole again, finally with Chris in a way that was so profound it nearly took his breath away. It wasn’t just physical—it was about everything that had led them here, all the love and yearning woven into every touch, every soft kiss.
Matt’s eyes rolled back as he came and a growl from Chris confirmed he had came too. Matt held Chris’ sweaty back firmly. He didn’t want him to pull out yet, he wanted to feel him inside a bit longer. He knew this was going to be his everyday now, but he was going to savor and enjoy every moment to the fullest.
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹
The morning light filtered in through the curtains, and there was an empty bed beside him. Matt stirred, blinking his eyes open, but the warmth of Chris was gone. A pang of anxiety crept through him as he sat up, heart racing. Where was he? He stood up quickly, glancing around the room, but there was no sign of him. Without thinking, he hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, his mind running in a haze.
There, he found Chris, standing in front of the stove, a few eggs and a mess of ingredients in front of him. He was trying to make breakfast—clumsy and unsure—but the sight of him there, so alive , so real , stopped Matt in his tracks. He leaned against the doorway, just watching, unable to believe that this was his life now. This was the person he was going to wake up to, the one he would share his mornings with. It was surreal, but it felt right. He couldn’t stop smiling, his heart swelling with pure love.
Without making a sound, Matt slowly approached Chris from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him close. He pressed his head against Chris' back, inhaling the familiar scent of him—a mixture of soap and something uniquely Chris that made Matt dizzy with affection. He never thought he’d find this—this peace, this certainty.
“Good morning” Matt whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Chris giggled softly, turning around in Matt’s arms, and wrapped him up in a warm embrace. His hands gently cupped Matt’s face, his eyes locking onto his. "I’ll make you the happiest man alive" he said, a playful, yet sincere smile spreading across his face.
Matt smiled back, feeling his chest tighten with love. " You already do ."
Chris leaned in, kissing him lightly on the lips before pulling back to look at him again, his eyes soft with affection. "I love you, baby."
"I love you too" Matt whispered, the words more than just a promise—they were a reflection of everything he felt deep inside, everything he knew they were meant to be.
It was never envy. It was never about wanting to be Chris. It had been always about loving him so deeply, so completely, that Matt was willing to do whatever it took to make it work. The pull of their connection was undeniable, and the depth of his feelings for Chris was something that couldn’t be ignored or hidden away. Time would pass, and things would inevitably become more complicated—life, their futures, the challenges they would face—but with Chris, every complication felt worth it.
With him, Matt knew they could navigate whatever came their way. The love they shared was strong enough to carry them through the rough patches, and Matt couldn’t imagine a life where he wasn’t fighting to make it work with his own brother.
Matt had made many mistakes during his life, but he did one thing perfectly right: falling in love with Chris.