Chapter Text
It had been about a week, and you’d finally found a few new topics suitable enough for your upcoming essay. The minute you were finished writing them down, you picked up your phone to text Lilia.
Me: Found some that might be good. I’m glad I decided to venture out. . it was an interesting study. Thank you!
y/n
It only took a few minutes for Lilia to respond, but those few minutes felt like hours. You couldn’t stop your finger from repeatedly tapping on your notebook. Why were you so nervous about such a simple conversation? Your mind raced, and then you saw the text bubbles appear.
Professor Calderu: Good work, y/n. We’ll start tonight. I’ll send the address after this.
What? It was almost eight pm on a Sunday, so you certainly hadn’t expected to spend your evening at your professor's house. You figured maybe she’d give you a date for a couple of weeks from now when she could pull herself away from her work that had to top your issues in importance.
You hadn’t even gotten yourself dinner because you were so focused on getting this done. For her, of course. Now you had to magically get yourself ready in twenty-five minutes. You pulled up the address and realized she only lived about ten minutes away from campus. It’s just tea with your professor. You don’t need to get made up. Regardless, you still managed to fit in a very quick shower and a little makeup. You decided on very fitted jeans and a V-cut T-shirt. Once you’d gathered your notes and book bag, you left.
The only thing you could do on the drive over was give yourself a pep talk. You’ve done much harder things. It’s just fucking tea. It’s nothing more than a professor being kind to a student who clearly needed some sort of guidance. Before you could finish your thought, you had arrived.
The house was eclectic. That was the best word to describe it. A cottage that was tucked away at the end of the street. Plants and soft lights filled the outdoor space. Taking a breath, you grabbed your things and started walking towards the door. You knocked, and within a few seconds, Lilia was standing before you smiling. She was wearing a black T-shirt and flowy floral patterned pants. “Come in,” she said, opening the door and stepping to the side so you could enter. Her house was magical. Lamps, candles, crystals, tapestries. Everywhere. It looked like she’d hired Stevie Nicks as her personal decorator. It was perfect. “This is gorgeous,” you smiled, stepping in as your hands awkwardly fumbled with each other. “Thank you, y/n!” I’m going to put the kettle on. Feel free to sit wherever and set your things down. Can I get you anything to eat? I have pasta from earlier.”
You took a seat at the dining table. “Actually, that would be great. I didn’t get a chance to grab dinner. Thank you!” Lilia smiled as she filled the pot and put it on the stove. “My pleasure. You can’t learn properly if you’re starving.” She pulled out the pasta and reheated you a plate. It smelled divine. “Did you make this,” you asked as Lilia set the plate in front of you. She nodded. “I like to cook. Gives me something to do when I’m not reading essays.” You laughed. “So, Professor Calderu," she stopped you. “Lilia. You’re in my home, you can use my name,” she said, letting out a low laugh. “Well…Lilia…about my topics. Out of what I picked, I think that Virginia Woolf is the most intriguing to me. I’m sorry, I guess it’s kind of a waste that I’m here if I already decided. But I really am glad that I am here because this meal is certainly better than one I could’ve made at the dorm. Lilia let out a low hum. “It’s not a waste, baby. We can still do research and get an outline going.”
You spent the next twenty minutes chatting, researching, and eating. After you’d gotten a decent amount of information down, Lilia offered you wine. You accepted. After finishing a few final notes and two glasses, you moved to the living room. Another glass was already being worked on. Shit.
“So, y/n. I wanted to talk to you more about your fixation with witches. As I mentioned, it’s also an area I’ve spent a lot of time studying, and I think I have something that may interest you. I’ve accumulated quite the collection over the years.”
You were only two and a half glasses in and you were almost burning up. Why was her presence alone affecting you so much? Your brain becoming hazy was the only thing that could justify your response.
“You already interest me.”
She smirked. You looked into your glass.
“As flattering as that is, y/n, I’m serious. I have a collection of articles, prints, and artifacts from history involving witches. Follow me.”
You stood up immediately; following her down the hall to a room sitting alone at the end. She opened the door, and your jaw dropped. “You weren’t kidding.” She laughed. “No.” Your eyes darted over the sight in front of you a million miles a second. “Where did you find this stuff? Some of this is like..literally ancient.” She let out a tsk. “Yes, well. I’m older than you’d think.” This statement puzzled you. No matter what her age was, there was no way it could make up for how old these artifacts were. You just nodded. Confusing or not, this was an insane collection, and you couldn’t believe you were even witnessing it. Your eyes drifted to a record that you couldn’t divert your attention from. “The Ballad of the Witches’ Road?” A smile appeared on her face. It was specific…nostalgic. You had a feeling there was a lot she wasn’t telling you. “It’s a coven song. It has a very deep history.” You hummed and nodded. After looking around a bit more you went back to the couch. It was bordering on ten o’clock now and you knew you weren’t in a state to drive home.
Lilia started the conversation again. “Y/n, tell me more about your psychology class. What drew you to explore power dynamics?”
You were red again. “Well. I guess I’ve had some..experience in um..having feelings for people in..less than ideal..circumstances, and I guess it just turned into an interest. It’s like - what draws people to want people who have so much control over them? or what makes people want to control? Often, people who are in control in life prefer to be out of control in sex, and vice versa. I don’t know. It’s fascinating. What draws us to people in power? People like bosses…or professors.”
You didn’t realize what you’d said until it fell out of your mouth.
She raised her brows and tilted her head. “Well, I can certainly see why that would fascinate you. I think it’s good that young people are open. Sexuality is an important part of life and I believe that if we have people researching and discussing things, everyone is better off.”
And then she winked.
Her body language was open. Her legs loosely crossed over each other, one arm over the couch holding her wine, the other drifting smoothly over her thigh. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her.
“You know it’s rude to stare, y/n.” She was almost pouting. Was she drunk? She was definitely drunk.
“Yeah…I- uh. I’m sorry. I was just…distracted and thinking.”
“About?”
“My research. I agree with what you said. I’ve always tried to be open-minded, specifically about sex. And what you said got me thinking about something that’s been playing in my mind. That’s all.”
You figured that you should just be open. Although it wasn’t what had you distracted, you stood by those statements, and you figured you should at least appear collected.
“I see.”
Her tone sounded stiff. Like she didn’t believe you, even though she accepted your response without combating it.
You scrunched your brows together, pulling a confused face. “Don’t believe me, Calderu?”
Either her lack of belief or the wine made you feel very bold, very quickly. It was the wine.
“Never said that. Why wouldn’t I? I’m sure you’re a… well-researched individual.”
“Well researched?”
“Expierenced.”
That was when you realized that Lilia Calderu wasn’t simply a professor kindly helping you out, but she was a really fucking hot older woman who seemed to be genuinely interested by you.
“Well. I can be quite good at things when I put my mind to them.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhmmm.”
She chuckled before taking a breath. Her gaze was intense on yours. As if she was studying the view in front of her.
“Okay.” She shifted slightly closer. “Then tell me what got you interested in the mind to begin with. What does it stem from?”
“I don’t know. I mean, it started with women. My focus lies mostly on the female mind. I’ve had experiences, if you could call them that, with different women; and the human mind just interests me. Women interest me. Their minds, their bodies, their hearts. Everything about them. Research by association of being a lesbian, perhaps? It’s silly. I don’t know where it comes from; it’s just me.”
It was true. You’d had experiences with several people who varied greatly. Some from school, random women from bars that you’d brought back to your dorm, several of whom you’d held some regret over the next morning. But this was different. Lilia was different. Or at least it felt very different. You hadn’t necessarily gone after older women in the past. Not that you weren’t open, it just wasn’t a big importance to you either way. But with Lilia, as much as you tried, you couldn’t stop yourself from being drawn to her. You knew it was probably going to become an issue during your second class. Lilia had called on you to get your opinion on a topic she was discussing, and when you gave your answer, she stayed in place with her eyes locked on yours, a soft smile, and her undivided attention. That was what did it.
“I understand that. We’re very interesting. I spent a decent amount of time studying the mind. I’m sure it was very different when I was doing it. I’d be curious to see some of your work.”
“I’m sure there are noticeable differences, but I imagine there are certain things that transcend time.” You got lost in your thoughts again but snapped out of it swiftly. “Does that sound completely stupid? Probably…but really. People have always been feeling, experiencing, knowing, loving. I’d imagine that no matter what a person is going through, there’s someone out there who’s had the same experience. Someone who could connect to them, and feel for them. We need each other. People need other people.”
Lilia hummed. You could tell what you said had her thinking about something…someone. Someone she had who understood her? A lover? A friend? Her face held such a history. Her eyes alone held a history.
“You’re very smart, you know that? I wish I’d figured out half of what you were talking about when I was your age. It feels like a lifetime ago. I’m glad you aren’t wasting it. I think people like you are rare, though. It’s hard to get students to do the simplest work now, you know? Not even the work, but the thinking. Why don’t people actually want to make themselves think now? I figure if you’re spending the time and money to go to higher education, you’d want to use it, no?”
“I know. It’s bewildering. I’ve had conversations with classmates before. Some of them have said that they find it hard to think because they don’t understand their professors or what’s being taught to them. I get the confusion. Sometimes certain people are just hard to connect to and understand. That being said, I’ve always viewed it as my job as a student to make my mind bend. To take what’s in front of me and twist it to understand if I need to. There has to be work put in by everyone, or we’ll never progress.
“That’s what makes you special. Professors notice that stuff. I can see you thinking in my class. It really is appreciated, y/n. In an age where so many people refuse to do it, you stand out.”
You chatted for another twenty minutes. Just conversation. Sharing random facts about yourselves. The usual stuff you’d ask someone you wanted to study. And you wanted nothing more than to study Lilia Calderu. You asked Lilia about her career. What made her become a teacher, and how she got started. She asked about your future plans for college.
“This was a lovely conversation, y/n. Thank you. As much as I’ve enjoyed this evening, it’s late, and I have people to lecture tomorrow. There are spare blankets in the cabinet by the bathroom. Feel free to use whatever you need. The spare room is down the hall to the right.
Lilia Calderu just offered for you to spend the night. Well, no, actually. She didn't offer. She told you. “That is so kind of you, Lilia, but you really don’t need to. It’s a short drive to the dorm, and you have class tomorrow. It’s late. I don’t want to overstay.”
“You’re not leaving, y/n. You’re not sober, and I’m not going to have you drive and risk your safety when I have a room. It’s not up for debate. I’ll be leaving at seven to get to campus, but you can stay until you’re ready to go back. That being said, I expect you to be in my classroom on time tomorrow.”
You knew there was no point in fighting her. Beyond that, you really didn’t want to. The wine was the only thing blurring this enough to help you process it in a relatively normal way. Your words were slurred, and so were hers. This wasn’t going to seem so casual to you in the morning.
“Thank you, Lilia. I had a really good time. I really appreciate it. All of it. I won’t be late. Have I ever been late?”
She laughed and shook her head before reaching out to grab your glass. She put both glasses in the dishwasher, as well as your plate from dinner, and then she headed to her room. “Goodnight, baby. Sleep well”
“Goodnight, Lilla.”