Chapter Text
The silence in the hospital room was a suffocating blanket.
Three days.
Three days since Ashton had visited Sebastian.
Three days since the raw, agonizing revelation had sliced through the air like a crucio curse.
"I shouldn't have told him… I'm so stupid," Sebastian muttered, his jaw tight enough to crack a tooth.
The memory replayed on a loop: Ashton’s face, a mask of horror and guilt, when he learned Sebastian and Ominis had been attacked because of him. When he saw Sebastian lying there, battered and bruised, Ashton had left the room, a ghost of his usual self.
Ominis’s hand, warm and reassuring, squeezed Sebastian’s shoulder gently.
"It's not your fault, Sebastian. You know how Ashton can be… difficult sometimes. Just, try to rest and stop worrying, ok? He will be back eventually."
Ominis's voice was steady, but Sebastian could sense the underlying worry. Ominis knew, as the healers did as well, that Sebastian’s body wasn't healing as quickly as it should be. The physical wounds were mending, but something deeper, something inside him, was hindering the process.
"Alright, alright... I will rest, but on one condition," Sebastian conceded, his voice raspy.
Ominis, his brow furrowed with concern, asked,
"What condition?"
"If you go and rest as well. You've been looking after me nonstop. You look so tired. I'll be fine, just please go to sleep, Ominis."
Sebastian winced as he spoke.
Ominis hesitated. He didn’t want to leave Sebastian alone, not when he was so clearly troubled, not when Ashton was nowhere to be found. He knew Sebastian well enough to understand the charade; the offer of rest was more for Ominis's sake than his own.
"I don't…" Ominis began, but Sebastian cut him off.
“Please, Ominis. Do it for me. If you don’t rest, I’ll just worry about you. And worrying isn't exactly helping me heal, is it?" He managed a weak smile, hoping it looked convincing.
Ominis sighed, the sound laced with exhaustion. He knew pushing would be no help.
"Fine," he said. "But I'm coming back tomorrow, and I want you to promise you'll call if you need anything, anything at all.”
“I promise,” Sebastian said, knowing he wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t burden Ominis further. Besides, what he truly needed was Ashton, and he knew, deep down, that calling for him was pointless.
Sebastian took a shaky breath, the cold hospital air biting at his exposed skin. Three days… where was Ashton? Was he racked with guilt? Was he blaming himself? Had he decided that Sebastian was too much trouble, too much of a liability?
He’d waited, agonizingly, for what felt like an eternity after Ominis had finally, left. He'd practically had to force his friend out, but he needed to be certain. Ominis, bless his stubborn heart, had finally agreed to get some rest, promising to return in the morning.
Good. That meant Sebastian had a few hours.
He pushed himself up, legs screaming in protest. He’d downplayed his injuries to Ominis, wanting to ease his worry. The truth was, even the smallest movement sent waves of agony through him. Talking felt like swallowing shards of glass.
But he had to find Ashton. He just had to.
Three days. Three agonizing days, and no sign of him.
He started walking, or rather, shuffling, through the castle grounds. Each step was an agony, but he pushed on, driven by a desperate need to see Ashton again, to assure him that it wasn't his fault. He wandered aimlessly, his thoughts swirling.
Then, he realized where he was.
He'd subconsciously navigated his way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
The air grew colder here, the shadows deeper. A familiar, uneasy feeling prickled at the back of his neck.
This felt wrong. Dangerous. But a gut feeling, a spark of hope, told him he was on the right track.
He pushed on, ignoring the protesting screams of his body. But the effort proved too much. He stumbled, his knees buckling beneath him. He collapsed onto the damp earth, the sudden impact sending a wave of agony crashing over him. He gasped, his lungs burning.
He hadn't noticed. He hadn't noticed that his bandages had loosened, that the wounds were bleeding again, staining the earth a dark, ominous red. The world faded around the edges. Maybe this was a fool's errand. Maybe he was too weak.
He closed his eyes, surrendering to the darkness.
This was it, wasn't it?
He'd be found, a pathetic, bleeding mess at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
Ominis would be devastated. Ashton…
He heard it then, a desperate, ragged shout cutting through the silence. He forced his eyes open. A figure was running towards him.
"Sebastian!"
Ashton.
Ashton was kneeling beside him, his face etched with fear and anger.
"You fool! What do you think you are doing?" His voice was tight with emotion, laced with a worry that made Sebastian's heart ache.
"Ashton… I finally found you." Sebastian smiled weakly, the effort sending a sharp pang through his chest. The words tasted like ash in his mouth. "You just... vanished after we last talked... I was worried... where have you been?"
The question hung in the air, heavy with unanswered history.
Ashton ignored the question, his hands flying over Sebastian, pressing against the wounds, trying to stop the bleeding. His hands were surprisingly gentle,even though his voice sounded hars.
"Don't talk. Just… just hold on.” He ripped a strip from his own sleeve, adding it to the makeshift bandage.
"Ashton.."
Sebastian grabbed his hand gently, his grip weak but insistent. The warmth of Ashton's skin was a stark contrast to the cold seeping into his bones.
"You didn't do anything reckless, right?" The question was born of a familiar fear.
Sebastian was the reckless one,not him. Ashton looked down at him. This was his fault. Indirectly, perhaps, but undeniably his.
"We will talk once I get you back safe," he said, his voice low and laced with a promise he intended to keep.
He carefully supported Sebastian, trying to lift him, but the grimace on Sebastian's face stopped him.
"We need to get you out of here," Ashton muttered, frustration clear on his face. He glanced around. "Can you stand?"
Sebastian tried, but a wave of dizziness forced him back down.
"Not.. not really."
Ashton's mind raced as he tried to come up with a solution. He couldn't leave Sebastian here, not in this condition.
He wouldn't. He gently lifted Sebastian into his arms, cradling him against his chest as he stood up.
Despite the pain, Sebastian couldn't help but feel a sense of security in Ashton's arms. He knew that no matter what, Ashton would always be there for him, to protect him from anything that threatened to harm him.
Ashton started walking, pushing through the thick undergrowth, the towering trees looming like disapproving sentinels. He moved as quickly as he dared, careful not to move Sebastian too much. Each step was a battle against fear. He had to get Sebastian to the castle.
He muttered calming words, reassurances he wasn't sure Sebastian could even hear.
"We're almost there, Sebastian. Just hold on. I'm getting you to safety."
As he started walking out of the Forbidden Forest, he didn't know if Sebastian would make it to Hogwarts.
The silence was deafening, punctuated only by Sebastian’s shallow breaths. He could feel the dampness of blood seeping through his own robes, a stark reminder of the danger.
Halfway through the forest, Sebastian coughed, a wet, rattling sound that made Ashton stumble. He stopped, his breath catching in his throat.
"Sebastian? Sebastian, can you hear me?"
Sebastian groaned softly, his eyes fluttering open. They were unfocused, glazed with pain.
"Ashton..." he whispered, his voice barely audible.
"I'm here, Sebastian. I've got you." Ashton’s voice was thick with emotion. "Just stay awake, okay? Keep talking to me."
Sebastian tried to smile, a weak, flickering expression. "Dumb... idea... going there..."
"I know, I know. We both messed up." Ashton squeezed him gently. "But we're getting out of here. We're going to be okay."
Sebastian nodded in response.
He needed to get him to Hogwarts fast. Why did he come to look for him in the Forbidden Forest when he was so injured?
He decided to ask.
"Why the hell did you come here anyway? Don't tell me you were looking for me?" Ashton said softly.
"You've been gone for three days, Ashton...I thought something had happened... I thought...you went after those dark wizards alone...or..." Sebastian stopped talking, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
"Or what?" Ashton asked gently, his brow furrowed with concern.
He shifted Sebastian slightly, trying to adjust his grip without jostling him too much. The forest floor was muddy, and his boots were sinking with each step.
Sebastian winced, a spasm of pain crossing his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his strength.
"Or...or that you decided to leave..me." he finally managed, the words strained. "I couldn't...just...stay there...wondering."
He knew Sebastian carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, the guilt of his past actions a constant companion. He hadn't realized it ran this deep.
Three days.
Just three days, and Sebastian had already jumped to the worst possible conclusions.
"Sebastian,"
Ashton said, his voice softer now, almost a caress.
"Look at me."
It took a moment, but Sebastian slowly opened his eyes. They were glazed with pain and worry, a haunted look that Ashton hated to see.
"I would never leave you, not like that," Ashton said, his voice firm and unwavering. "You hear me? Never. I just... I had to deal with those wizards. I was trying to do… better."
He hated admitting it, sounding like a boy seeking approval, but the vulnerability washed away the carefully constructed walls he usually kept up.
Sebastian blinked slowly, as if trying to process Ashton's words.
"Better?"
"Yeah, better. For you, mostly,"
Ashton confessed, the confession a raw ache in his chest. He hadn't meant to say it, hadn't even realized he felt it this strongly. Now he worried he'd scared the man.
Before he could overthink it, Sebastian reached up, his weak hand finding Ashton's cheek. The touch was light, almost feather-like, but it sent a shiver down Ashton's spine.
"Don't blame yourself," Sebastian whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "You're the best thing that’s ever happened to me."
Ashton swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. He wanted to say something, to reassure Sebastian, but the urgency of the situation held him back.
"Hold on," Ashton said, his voice regaining its strength. "Just a little further. I'm getting you back to Hogwarts."
He could see the lights of Hogwarts flickering in the distance.
Once he got them to Hogwarts, Ashton burst through the hospital wing doors, shouting for help. Healers, startled but efficient, came running as they ushered him towards a free bed.
He gently laid Sebastian down, his movements achingly slow, as if afraid of shattering him further. He backed away slowly, his eyes fixed on Sebastian's pale face. A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm him. He'd almost lost him.
Again.
Then, he saw it. The faintest hint of a smile playing on Sebastian’s lips as the healers administered a vial of shimmering potion. Relief, sharp and intense, washed over Ashton, leaving him weak and trembling. He hadn't realized how close he'd been to breaking until the danger had started to recede.
He turned to leave, his steps heavy.
"I'll wait outside," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
He couldn't bring himself to look at Sebastian any longer.
"I'll wait until you feel better, and then we can talk."
He didn't wait for a response. He fled the sterile, brightly lit room, seeking refuge in the dim corridor.He leaned against the cool stone wall, closing his eyes, and finally allowed the weight of the day to crash down on him.A sudden, frantic voice jolted him back to reality.
"Ashton! What happened?"
He opened his eyes to find Ominis, his usually composed face etched with worry. Ominis ran towards him.
"How… how did he leave the hospital? I was with him a few hours ago. He told me to go and rest, and look what he decided to do! I shouldn't have listened to him. I had a feeling he would go looking for you."
Ominis’ voice was laced with a potent cocktail of anger and fear. Ashton could practically feel the heat radiating from him. He understood. He felt much the same.
Ashton pushed himself away from the wall, his legs feeling unsteady.
"It's my fault. He thought I left... But what he didn't know was that I was here, every night, I was here while he was asleep..." The last words came out barely a whisper, lost in the echoing silence of the room. "I couldn't face him. Not until..I was sure they are gone."
He was referring to the dark wizards, the ones who had hurt Sebastian and Ominis. Ashton had spent days hunting them down, tracking them through the Forbidden Forest, ensuring they would never pose a threat again. It was a dark path, one he couldn't bear for Sebastian to witness.
Ominis stopped abruptly, his face softening, though the anxiety still lingered.
"You were here? All this time?" He reached out, his hand hovering hesitantly before grasping Ashton's arm.
"Why? Why didn't you say anything? He's been beside himself. He kept asking about you, convinced you'd vanished. The healers were barely able to keep him in bed."
The truth hit Ashton like a physical blow. He had been so caught up in his self-imposed mission, so consumed by the fear that he had neglected the person who mattered most. He had compounded Sebastian's pain with his silence, his absence.
"I..I thought I was protecting him," Ashton stammered, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. "From what I was doing. From the… the things I had to do to keep him safe."
Ominis’ grip tightened on Ashton’s arm.
"Protecting him? By disappearing? Ashton, you know Sebastian. He'd rather face any danger with you than be safe and alone."
Ashton knew he was right. Ominis had known Sebastian longer than anyone. He understood their bond in a way Ashton hadn’t fully grasped.He had underestimated Sebastian's strength, his loyalty, his unwavering..love.
He had let his own fear cloud his judgment, blinding him to the simple truth that Sebastian needed him more than he needed "protection." He’d treated him like something fragile, something to be shielded, when he was, in reality, a force of nature, capable of weathering any storm as long as he wasn’t alone.
" I know.. I will talk to him as soon as he feels better. " Ashton said, the words a fragile promise hanging in air laden with regret.
" If he feels better.. "
Ominis mumbled, biting into his cheek. His blind eyes, usually serene and knowing, seemed clouded with a pain Ashton had never witnessed before.
" What do you mean if? " Ashton raised an eyebrow, a cold dread creeping up his spine. Had it been more than just injuries?
" Ashton.. I heard healers talking the other day.. it seems he was..cursed. That's why his injuries are not healing.." Ominis’ voice was hushed, as if the very walls had ears.
The blood drained from Ashton’s face.
A curse?
He had been so focused on hunting down the dark wizards, on silencing those that would dare to hurt them, that he’d been blind to the insidious magic that was eating away at him from the inside.
"What kind of curse?" Ashton demanded, his voice a low growl.
Ominis shook his head, his pale face etched with worry.
"They don't know. It’s… subtle. It masks itself, mimicking a slow healing process. They said…" he hesitated, "they said it's eating away at his life force, slowly but surely."
Ashton felt his knees buckle.
He stumbled, catching himself on a nearby wall. A thousand thoughts crashed through his mind, each more terrifying than the last.
He had failed.
He had failed utterly.
He had been so busy playing the hero from afar that he hadn’t noticed the enemy lurking in the shadows. Now, Sebastian was dying because of him.
In the end, he couldn'tdo anything.
" No..no this cannot be..there has to be something we can do," Ashton said, his voice regaining some of its steel despite the tremor that ran through him. "There has to be a counter-curse, a potion, something!"
He looked at Ominis, pleading for a solution, for any glimmer of hope in the darkness. Ominis only shakes his head slowly.
"No, I am not gonna sit here and wait for him to die! " Ominis grabbed his arm. " Don't you see what you are doing right now?! You are acting exactly like Sebastian did for Anne."
Ashton ripped his arm away, the raw pain fueling a desperate anger.
"Don't you dare compare this to Anne! This is different! There has to be something we can do!"
He paced the room, his mind racing, grasping at straws. Ancient texts, forbidden rituals, obscure potions - he would scour the world if he had to, anything to save Sebastian.
Ominis remained still, a statue of sorrow.
"And what if that 'something' costs more than you're willing to pay, Ashton? Sebastian wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself for him."
Ashton froze, the truth in Ominis' words hitting him like a physical blow. He knew Sebastian. He knew his reckless, self-sacrificing nature. He knew he would rather die than see Ashton compromise himself.
But the thought of simply standing by, of watching him fade away, was unbearable.
"Then what do you suggest I do, Ominis?" he asked, his voice a broken whisper.
"Just sit here and hold his hand while he dies? Is that what you want?"
Ominis sighed, the sound heavy with the weight of their shared history and the impossible situation. He remained in shadow, his blindness a constant reminder of the limitations they faced.
"No, Ashton," he said softly. "That's not what I want. But sometimes, letting go is for the best."
Ashton scoffed, a harsh, disbelieving sound.
"Letting go? Is that what you tell everyone who's about to lose someone they love?"
There.
He'd said it.
Admitted to the depth of his feelings.
The realization hung in the air, thick and heavy. He’d never been one for grand pronouncements or sentimental gestures. He usually masked his affection with teasing banter and insults. But now, stripped bare by grief and fear, the truth had finally surfaced. Not even Ashton could believe he just said it.
Ominis remained silent for a long moment, and then, a weak smile touched his lips. It was a sad smile, a knowing smile.
" I never thought I would hear you say that." He paused, the smile deepening slightly. "Love, huh...I think you should tell Sebastian as well. He deserves to know, now more than ever. "
Ashton’s breath hitched.
Tell Sebastian? The thought was terrifying. He'd always kept those feelings locked away, shrouded in layers of friendship and shared adventure. Revealing them now, with Sebastian lying pale and weakened in the next room, felt like a betrayal, a selfish act.
“He’s… he’s dying, Ominis,” Ashton stammered, avoiding eye contact even though Ominis couldn’t see him. “He doesn’t need to be burdened with… with this. It’s just going to make things harder.”
“Harder for you, Ashton,” Ominis corrected gently. “Sebastian deserves to know how you feel. Don't you think he would want to know that he is loved?”
He had a point, of course. Sebastian, beneath his bravado and sometimes reckless choices, was deeply sentimental, fiercely loyal. He treasured connection, thrived on affection, even if he wasn’t always the best at expressing it himself.
Ashton ran a hand through his already disheveled hair.
“Alright, fine. But what if… what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” The question hung in the air, fragile and raw.
Ominis chuckled softly, a dry, humorless sound.
“Honestly, Ashton, if you haven’t figured that out by now, you’re blinder than I am.” He paused, and his voice softened.
“But even if he doesn't return those feelings, the comfort in knowing will be enough for him.”
Ashton swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to breathe. He was still terrified, but Ominis’s words had chipped away at the wall he’d built around his heart.
“And what about the ‘letting go’ part?” Ashton asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How am I supposed to do that?"
Ominis shifted slightly, the sound of rustling robes the only indication of movement.
"Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring, Ashton. It means accepting what you can’t control. It means supporting him in his choices, even if those choices lead to an ending you don’t want. It means..."
He hesitated, searching for the right words. "...it means honoring his life by allowing him to live it, even until the very end, on his own terms. Now go and talk to him. I will be here if you need me. "
Ashton nodded, a single, jerky movement. He felt like he was walking to his own execution. Each step towards the door separating him from Sebastian was heavy, laden with the weight of years of unspoken words. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath, trying to steady himself.
Letting go.
Honoring Sebastian's life.
It all sounded so noble, so… impossible.
He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
Ashton approached the bed slowly, his chest aching at the sight of his..friend in such a weakened state. He pulled up a chair and sat beside him, his hand hovering hesitantly above Sebastian’s. Finally, he reached out and gently took Sebastian's hand in his, his fingers intertwining with Sebastian's. His skin felt cool, almost clammy.
"Sebastian?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Sebastian's eyelids fluttered open, his eyes, dull and clouded with pain. He focused on Ashton, a faint smile gracing his lips. "Ashton," he murmured, his voice raspy and weak. He squeezed Sebastian's hand gently.
Sebastian coughed, a weak, rattling sound that sent a fresh wave of fear through Ashton.
"Don't," Sebastian managed to say, his voice strained. "Don't look so worried. I'm fine..ish"
Ashton forced a smile, though it felt like a grimace. "Just ish?"
Sebastian chuckled weakly. "Maybe a little less than 'ish'. But you're here. That makes it better.” He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his strength. “Ominis told you, didn’t he?”
Ashton’s bites inside his cheek. "Told me what?” Ashton asked cautiously.
Sebastian opened his eyes again, a knowing look in them.
"Told you… that I'm… well, that things aren't looking great. That I... haven’t got long.” He coughed again, a wracking, painful sound.
Ashton squeezed his hand tighter.
He couldn’t lie. Not now.
"Yes," he said softly. "He told me. And... Sebastian, I..." He choked on the words, the confession he’d held back for so long now bubbling to the surface. "I need to tell you something."
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the rejection, the awkwardness, the potential destruction of their friendship.
"I... I love you, Sebastian," he blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush. " More than a friend. More than a brother-in-arms. I... I'm in love with you."
The silence that followed was deafening. Ashton kept his gaze fixed on Sebastian’s hand, afraid to look up, afraid to see the disappointment or pity in his eyes. He braced himself for the worst.
Then, he felt a slight pressure on his hand. Sebastian was squeezing it back. Slowly, hesitantly, Ashton lifted his gaze to meet Sebastian’s.
Sebastian’s eyes were bright, not with anger or disgust, but with… emotion. Tears welled up, shimmering in the candlelight. A faint smile played on his lips.
"Took you long enough," Sebastian whispered, his voice barely audible.
Ashton’s breath hitched.
"What?" he breathed, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing."So… you…?"
Sebastian coughed again, then managed a weak nod.
"Yes, Ashton. I… I love you too. Have for a long time."
He tightened his grip on Sebastian’s hand, afraid to let go, afraid this was all a dream.
"Why didn’t you say anything?" Ashton asked, his voice thick with emotion.
Sebastian sighed, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling.
"Fear, I suppose. Fear of ruining our friendship. Fear of rejection. Fear of… everything."
He looked back at Ashton, his eyes filled with a deep, heartbreaking sincerity.
" Well.. now it's pointless I guess.. knowing I don't have much time left.."
"It’s not pointless," he said fiercely. "It's the most important thing I’ve ever heard." He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And you’re not dying, Sebastian. I won’t let you."
Sebastian managed a weak smile. "Brave words, Ashton. But even you can't cheat death."
"Maybe not," Ashton said, a fierce determination hardening his voice. He knew he couldn't reveal his true nature, not now. But he could use his knowledge, his… unique perspective, to his advantage. “But I can certainly try."
Sebastian smiled weakly.
"Ashton… don't," he murmured. "Don't waste your time on false hope. I… I've made peace with this."
"No!" Ashton’s voice rose, echoing in the room.
"No, you haven’t. And I won't let you. I won't let you give up. Not now, not when we finally…" He stopped, unable to voice the word 'love' again, but the sentiment hung heavy in the air.
He stood, his hand still clasped tightly in Sebastian's.
"I'm going to find a way to save you," he declared, his eyes burning with fierce determination. "I don't care what it takes, what I have to do. I will not let you die."
Sebastian watched him, his eyes filled with a mixture of love, gratitude, and a lingering weariness. "Ashton…"
But Ashton wasn't listening. He was already formulating a plan, running through ancient texts in his mind, recalling whispered rumors of forbidden magic, that girl.. He knew it would be dangerous, that it might even be impossible. But he had to try.
He owed it to Sebastian, and he owed it to himself.
He leaned down and gently kissed Sebastian's forehead, his lips lingering for a moment against his cool skin.
"I'll be back," he whispered. "Just… just hold on. Please."
He released Sebastian’s hand, a pang of regret showing on his face, and turned to leave the room. He knew he was walking into darkness, into a world of forbidden knowledge and perilous magic. But he was driven by a love so powerful, so desperate, that he was willing to risk everything.
As he reached the doorway, he paused, looking back at Sebastian one last time. He saw the faint smile on his lips, the love shining in his eyes. And in that moment, he knew he could do anything. He had to. His Sebastian was depending on him. The reaper in him would not lose the love of his life.