Chapter Text
To say Daria had a favorite class would mean some degree of caring about school at all, something the teen just didn't have the energy for...but if she had to pick the one she tolerated the most, it would have to be DiMartino's English class.
While Lancer famously taught the lower grades in the school, Mr. DiMartino managed to keep his job in educating the upperclassmen of Casper High despite his known anger issues and eternal struggle in getting students to care about the likes of Holden Caulfield.
Because the only thing more unbelievable than ghosts infesting this town is how any of these adults manage to hold down a job...but then again, disbelief in the competency of those around her was Daria's bread and butter.
"Now KEV-in," the only man more high-strung than her father once again over-enunciated the jock's name, all while poor dumb Kevin perked up like some animals did when called. "Do you think you can tell me, in your own STUNTED way, just what the lotus represents in the story of the Odyssey?"
They all knew he didn't, and to Daria the bigger question was why the man routinely called on the slowest of their class almost every day. She had only been in this town a few months and already had a working theory that her teacher, in a desperate attempt to escape his role as an educator, was trying to trigger a heart-attack brought on by one of Kevin's stupider answers. Though, in a town like this one, it potentially ran the risk of him coming back as a ghost who would no doubt be happy to spend his afterlife haunting the football player for the rest of his days.
" - Daria... Daria! "
"Huh?" The brunette blinked her way back to reality and what little it had to offer. It wasn't until she felt the nudge on her leg did she realize her best and only friend Jane was trying to get her attention.
"What happened? You're missing some real Wild Kingdom here. DiMartino's got the poor dope in her teeth and won't let go."
" -IS ex ACTLY why this nation is DOOMED if hopeless balls of MUSH like YOU are destined to be in-CHARGE in just ten short YEARS!"
Jane was right, the man was in top form today. Between his expression looking like a rabid nutcracker and his eye threatening to rocket out of his head, Daria could swear she could hear his blood pressure hit the ceiling.
"What'd I miss?"
"Oh, just Professor Kevin here confusing the lotus from the book with White Lotus and trying to remember which one Sydney Sweeney in it."
"Ah, of course. Exactly what Homer's epic was missing...a whodunnit."
"Hmm, I think he'd be better off if we just set the poor lad free. Clearly he's not meant for containment."
"Yeah, but it's all fun and games until he sprints into the street and causes a multi-car pileup."
The usual banter felt good to engage in after her weird feeling earlier in the day, something she had been unable to shake until just a little while ago. Daria didn't like to think of herself as flapable, even when smack-dab in the middle of Ghost Town USA, but she wasn't a fan of strange premonitions. It was bad enough she had to accept ghosts within the last year or so, she didn't think she had it in her to also have to deal with the occasional message from the universe striking her like a lightning rod.
Then again...maybe she was thinking a little too highly of herself. If anyone in her family was likely to be a chosen one, it was her sister, if only so the universe could make sense.
"Mr DiMartino?" Spoke up another classmate, a Miss Jazz Fenton; overachiever extraordinaire.
"What?!" Barked the teacher, who finally seemed to realize there were other people in the room than the cowering Kevin.
"This seems unnecessary. It's been shown that a better way to encourage students is through engaging with their interests and then -"
"Jasmine -" the educator shuddered with barely repressed rage. Daria was certain the man was about to finally blow that fabled gasket. "You are one of the few shining spots in this black hole of an educational purgatory I call my job -"
"Awww...and here I thought you were the only reason he hadn't gone looking for a nice tall watchtower yet." Jane smirked towards Daria, who reciprocated with an eye roll.
" - but there is such a thing known as a LOST CAUSE, and the SOONER you realize that, THE BETTER!"
Jodi Landon's lone competition for Most Type A of their graduating class sputtered briefly before launching into another attempt to parent both a now whimpering Kevin and a grown man on the verge of his latest heart attack, before Daria found her patience start to dwindle and raise her hand.
"The lotus represented an escape."
Two intense stares snapped over to her, leaving Kevin alone with his handful of thoughts. One thing Daria wasn't a fan of regarding her reputation as one of the quiet kids in school was that whenever she did opt to speak up on her own volition, folks tended to notice. "The men of Odysseus's ship had been lost and unable to return to their home for years, already having lost several of their numbers before even finding the flowers. The literal reading of the text is that the magic of the flower trapped them in a dreamlike state, but the metaphor is about looking for an escape from the disappointments of life while out of your gourd on a mind-altering substance."
"First one's free, they say." Murmured Jane as she bent back over her latest sketch. Meanwhile, DiMartino seemed to have been somewhat soothed by an actual competent answer and did his best to settle back into a semi-professional state.
"Excellent as usual, Daria...and excellent job the REST of you for being the usual bunch of gaping FISH I've come to know you as."
The buzzing of the bell signaled the end of the day's latest attempt to drive DiMartino over the deep end, but what Daria wasn't expecting was for Jazz Fenton to make her way over to her and Jane.
"So...um, I feel like I might need to warn you guys about… something ."
Now, Daria only knew Jazz Fenton in the academic sense, in that she only sees the girl at school and has never really had an interaction with her. It's only thanks to Jane that she even knew about the redhead's relation to the two scientists responsible for crafting a Stargate in the town and setting ghosts loose...as if the youth of America didn't have enough on their plates.
"Uh oh...I knew my free spirited ways were going to catch up one day. The Man's finally onto me, isn't he?"
"Do I need to warn Trent?" Jane raised an eyebrow, easily following along with Daria's snark. "He's been squirrely about the government tracking him ever since phones started recognizing facial features."
"Oh, well...nothing that drastic." Nervous giggles escaped the teen as though she was floundering with her words, which made zero sense to Daria but she wasn't about to poke whatever emotional bees nest that might be hiding under the surface. If her familiarity with Jodi showed her how tightly wound one overachiever is, she felt little need to peel back the veneer on another bubbling volcano of nerves. "But, well...I have this little brother and he has this friend -"
" - Who has a friend, and we all live in the house that Jack built." Daria couldn't help herself as they made their way towards the hallway.
"No, Jack's my father. I'm talking about my brother Danny." Jazz blinked back innocently, somehow blind to how much Daria's sarcasm flew over her head. "But he had this friend, Sam, and well...look, I respect Sam's passion, and she had a lot of it - "
" Ruh-roh ." Daria didn't miss Jane's murmur, as the two shared a look that they both saw that big fat BUT on the horizon.
" - but I think she's working up all this passion for something might not want to get involved in."
"Makes sense. I'm not known to get involved. Getting up takes enough energy sometimes."
"So why's she targeting us then? If this was just some campaign or whatever, I don't think you'd be warning just the two of us about it, so why are we in this girl's sights?"
Jane had a good point. Her and Daria are known loners, despite the best efforts of some of their fellow students they inexplicably have the attention of, but while the likes of Brittany and Jodi would phase in and out of conversation with them from time to time, most of the rest of the student body kept their distance. Meanwhile Jazz was making it sound like there was a heat-seeking missile coming their way and they needed to head for a bunker.
"Well...she read that article in the paper..."
Twin stares were the response she got for her words, and whatever the lanky redhead was expecting as a response, it clearly wasn't enough dead silence that spoke for itself.
"Y'know... today's issue.. ."
"Oh, sorry. I don't think I had time for that this morning. The Boston Globe crossword was particularly difficult this morning and I just couldn't put it down." Daria droned back, silently praying that Jazz would notice the particularly thick amount of snark she slathered on.
"Wait a second...this thing?" Jane spoke up, pulling out said paper, to Daria's mild surprise.
She seemed to quickly catch her friend's stare and met it with a shrug. "I need more paper for a piece I'm working on at home."
"The paper mache Dali piece?"
"Nah, that petered out. I'm pivoting towards more of a - hey! "
Whatever endeavor Jane was planning on using the school's rag for was stifled in the face of Jazz grabbing the paper and opening it to a particular page. " This ," she pointed towards a particular article that, to her growing annoyance, mentioned Daria and Jane by name.
"Oh Hell...this is about that stupid poster competition."
That damn poster was going to haunt her worse than the actual ghosts in this town, Daria just knew it.
"She's mad about our poster?" Jane raised an artfully sculpted eyebrow, annoyance just barely starting to color her usually sardonic tone. "That thing didn't even win the contest."
" Exactly, " Jazz's teal eyes widened with naked earnestness as she leaned forward almost conspiratorially. Why though was unclear; if the usual din of students walking to their destination was any indicator, it was unlikely that they were going to get much attention paid to them. "Somehow Wes Weston, the guy behind the article, learned about the school's attempt to censor your poster and wrote about it. Sam saw and now she's all riled up about exposing censorship and is looking for you two thinking you're going to band together and take down some kind of corrupt system or something."
"...I'm sorry...Wes Weston? "
But while Jane balked at the arguably most unfortunately named student in the school, Daria skimmed the article. In so many overly flowery words, it called attention to how the two girls were unfairly treated regarding their "controversial" poster and how being unwilling to address eating disorders with the teens of today is likely to blah blah blah .
"Well...it's nice we were asked our opinions on the matter before publishing this article. What a sterling career in journalism this young man has in store."
"Truly a symbol of integrity." Went Jane as she took the paper back and stuffed it into her bag, along with the rest of the various papers that made up the bedrock of her backpack.
"My point is just keep an eye out for Sam," Jazz sighed, clutching her books to her chest like something out of a cartoon. "She tends to get these strong ideas in her head and struggles when reality doesn't meet her standards."
"She should do like us; just lower her standards to get through reality." Jane hefted her bag with a shrug.
"We'll keep an eye out." Nodded Daria, hoping that was enough of a signal for Jazz to take as her out of the conversation. Thankfully her prayers were answered, this time, and the redhead skipped off towards her next destination, leaving the two on their own again. Resuming their slow plod towards their next class, Daria couldn't help but consider Jazz's words.
"Was really hoping we wouldn't have to deal with that stupid poster anymore."
"Yeah, but you know how it is in stories like these; the hero needs to confront her past to bury it once and for all."
"Can I just bury Wes instead? With a name like his he might not be against it."
Unfortunately, with the recent news, the once soothing snark seemed unable to smooth out Daria's unease as it did before. "...the hell does this girl think is going to happen once she tracks us down?"
"Who knows?" A brief flair of envy made itself known in the face of Jane's indifference; somehow the taller girl always seemed more successful in letting things run off her back than she did. While Daria rarely allowed her emotions to make an appearance outside of her typical apathy, sometimes she carried things home with her and found them difficult to shake off. "But I get the feeling like things might just get interesting."
"Here? In Amity? You're dreaming Lane."
As if summoned, off in the distance went the sound of a not-insignificant explosion, shaking the school somewhat while the cackling sound of some ghostly menace echoed across the neighborhood. Who among the typical menaces was unknown as safety sirens called out in the halls, pre-recorded messages blaring through loudspeakers to remain calm and indoors until the ghost is contained.
None of this did anything to stop the majority of students in the room from mashing themselves against the window to see if the local hero makes an appearance, but by the sound of cheering a moment later and appearance of a dark streak as it sped towards the noise, it seems like their gawking paid off.
"But just in case," Daria murmured as she turned towards the window, against her better judgement, dimly aware of Jane doing the same out of the corner of her eye. "If this is all a dream, then I'm ready to wake up."
But unfortunately, the world only seemed to respond to her wry statements just to prove her wrong, leaving her and Jane to their own devices while students cheered on Phantom in his distant ghost fight.