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Dad,
I think i messed up.
Me and Ellis had an argument a few days ago and he hasn’t spoken to me since. We were on the train when it happened and I got mad because he was being all depressed. I lashed out. I said some things i regret and, well, he slapped me. I still have the mark. I don’t know why is said everything i did- it was like I was out of it. like i was high or something. But I wasn’t. I was sober, but for some reason, I got mad and it was like i was all out of wack. It felt like my brain was full of fog and i really, really, regret it.
Silenus noticed something went on between us, I guess, and has us holed up in some 3 star hotel for the week so we can ‘recuperate’ (whatever that means) and Ellis hasn’t even looked at me.
After we fought, Ellis ran off for the rest of the train ride and didn’t come back (i think) until we reached our destination 2 hours later. He looked like he had been crying and I tried to apologise but he didn’t listen to me and just- walked off like i wasn’t there. It annoyed me, but i didn’t say anything.
When we got to the hotel an hour or so later, Silenus gave me my own room and went off with Ellis, but he joined me after a bit because Ellis was crying again. I tried to, again, apologise but he only cried harder. I think i really hurt him- which is kinda surprising, because what i said was bad, yeah, but it wasn’t horrible. It was about his mum, though, so it might’ve messed him up? I don’t know. I really don’t know.
I miss him terribly, and i miss you too. I’m nervous about the camp- Silenus has tried talking it up to be but it just gets worse and worse. There’s all kinds of sporty activities that we have to partake in, and im seriously regretting my enthusiasm. Not to mention everyone seems really… competitive? I’m worried ill stick out like a sore thumb- i mean, is there going to be any other muslim kids? Any other trans kids? I dont know. I dont want to meet my cabin mates/siblings or whatever, but ill do it- for you.
Bismillah, my travels have only just begun. I’ll update you as I go, okay?
Respond quickly,
Mai
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My daughter,
You have been having a tough week, it seems. You have many challenges, but you’re strong.
Is your cheek okay? I hope Ellis didn’t hurt you beyond a light bruise, or I might get him.
I hope you prayed after- do you still pray, my love? I know this situation is confusing, your mother being a Greek god and that. I’m still confused on how you took it so well- I expected you to react more like Ellis, if i’m being honest. Still, Allahu Akbar, I am so happy you understood. You are an amazing girl, and don’t worry about your half-siblings! I’ve been in correspondence with one of the heads of the camp, a man called ‘Chiron.’ He’s very kind!
He assures me that your siblings will love you. The head councillors are 2 girls your age- Piper, and Drew. Chiron tells me they are quite kind, and reassures me that Camp Half-Blood is accepting of all.
However, if they are unkind to you- tell me right away. I have no tolerance for bigots and you know that, my darling. You are a beautiful young girl, and anyone who says otherwise has yet to meet you. Keep your head up.
Now, regarding Ellis-
From your descriptions, what Ellis is going through is something similar to his mother’s current ‘ailment.’ It’s a mental illness, I suspect- which one? Allahu alim I do not know.
I’ve been able to speak to her, and she is gradually getting better. She misses Ellis, and plans to write to him soon- make sure he gets it, please? I fear she may fall apart if Ellis ignores her as he is ignoring you.
Does he seem depressed? If so, I recommend giving him a few of the DVDs I tucked away in your bag. They’re his favourites. Watching movies when she’s like this usually helps his mum- I pray it helps him too. If not- try talking to him. Don’t mention what happened, just tell him about your day, about some weird guy you saw or a strange bug that landed on you- anything. He’ll feel less… trapped. Trust me. I’ve been friends with his mother as long as you and Ellis have been alive (sort of) and I've dealt with many episodes like his. He’ll be okay.
Your cousins are visiting, they asked about you. Ramadan is starting soon. I miss you.
Love,
Dad
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Dad,
It worked- kinda.
I gave Ellis the DVDs (i shoved them under the door awkwardly) and Silenus said Ellis was watching them when he returned for the night. He said he laughed. Its a good sign, right?
We have a few days before we head out again- were getting a plane to America. I won’t be able to respond for a while because we need to be careful- something about monsters? I dont know.
I miss you, and yes, I still pray. I think of you when I pray, and of Ellis, and of my family, and of the future. Tell my cousins I say hi, by the way. How are they? I haven’t been able to check the times for suhoor and iftar this year. Are they good? In sha Allah i hope theyre good. Let me know, will you?
In all honesty, im struggling. Everything i know has been flipped upside down and im flailing trying to find something to hold on to. Im scared. Im really scared, but i think ill be okay- i mean, i have you, and Ellis, and Silenus (i guess) so ill be okay.
Piper and Drew seem nice, and so does Chiron. Thank you for looking out for me. Oh, and my cheek is fine!!! It was a small red mark for a day or 2 but its completely gone now, and don’t worry, i think Silenus scolded Ellis over it!!
I’m glad Bronagh is okay, ill let Ellis know shes planning to write soon.
I miss you more,
Mai
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Ellis.
I don’t know why I'm doing this, but Charlie told me to.
I’m sorry. For everything. I should have explained what was going on rather than kicking you out like a dog. I’m sorry. I love you.
I’ll explain anything you want, I know this is all very confusing.
To start, I'll start with your dad.
We met when I was 20. I was at one of Charlie’s parties, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He was beautiful. He had long lashes (like yours) and the most gorgeous hair I had ever seen. I was jealous. He was a smooth talker and bought me a Dr Pepper instead of a beer. He was funny. We exchanged numbers and… well, after a while we got ‘married’ and had you. We loved you- still do, but things changed after you were born.
He spent most nights pacing and checking your room almost feverishly. It was like he went mad. He was cagey, and skittish. I tried asking him what was wrong and he brushed it off. I’ll admit, I assumed the worst. I came to conclusions I should have never come to, and I exploded. He left me like this- blinded, that is, and I regret it everyday.
If I had trusted him more, we’d probably still be a happy family.
You loved him. Jumped into his arms the first chance you could get and would babble away at him. I’m sorry I took that away from you. I’m sorry I never told you who he was or where he went. I’m sorry I kept you from him.
The spell he put on you was to keep your godly blood hidden, I think. It made you mortal temporarily, and was supposed to last until you were 19. Your dad said that was because he wanted to see one of his children live past 18. He said he was tired of seeing his children die while he sat idly by. He wanted to save you.
In a way, it did.
I don’t know why it's wearing off now- I don’t even know if it actually is. It could be some lie from your dad to get you to visit, and I've been torturing myself over it daily. But I decided I trust him. I trust you.
I love you, please write back
Bronagh (your mother)
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Mum,
Thank you. I’m sorry for worrying you and I understand where you’re coming from. If you told me that my dad was a Greek god when I was younger, I would have never believed you. But I believe you now.
It’s not your fault. It never was.
I love you,
Ellis (your son)