Chapter Text
"Mister! Who are you searching for here?" someone shouted and grabbed Kakashi's attention. Kakashi turned to look towards the source to find a red-headed medic walking towards them, and quickly realized it was an Emergency department doctor.
"I… Rin, Obito. The receptionist told me to find them here. They were in an accident and I am their next of kin," he said in a barely controlled voice.
"So you are Kakashi," the doctor replied softly. "Please, sit down," he requested.
"No no. Take me to them," Kakashi urged loudly, almost begging him.
"Well, Rin is still in surgery and Obito has been taken up for an MRI. I was their attending in the Emergency room. Our best surgeons are doing everything they can as we speak. There is nothing you can do right now. So," he said, gesturing towards the seats behind him. Kakashi's strength died down as she slumped back into the waiting chairs, while the doctor took a seat beside him.
"How are they? Please tell me they are okay. Something-…" he trailed away into a whisper and his eyes fell to the ground, unable to meet his eyes anymore.
"How old are you, and whom are you related to out of the two?"
"I- twenty-five… I'm not- We are all orphans," he mustered as he continued to look at the ground.
The doctor's gaze softened as sympathy welled up in his eyes at those words. "Oh." he said and paused as Kakashi looked at him. "Well. According to what the police said, the car was side swiped and the driver lost control and hit a street light after that. Both of them suffered serious whiplash injuries, and her ribs were broken on impact with the steering wheel. But, there is something of concern in Mr. Obito's case."
"What?" Kakashi's eyebrows narrowed in response. "What is it?"
"Well, the primary reason for Obito's MRI is that he was unconscious when he was brought in. He had a GCS of 3, and X-rays revealed that he broke a few bones in his neck."
"So he might need surgery too?" Kakashi worried.
"No he-" the doctor began, but the sound of a door creaking open alerted the duo to someone walking towards them.
"Dr. Uzumaki, may I have a word?" he said to the doctor sitting beside him.
"Dr. Yagami, hello. Actually, this is Obito's next of kin, Kakashi Hatake," the redhead introduced. "Mr. Kakashi, this is Dr. Ryuk Yagami. Our neurologist. He is attending Obito's case," he said, "I shall leave you two."
"Oh. Thank you, Uzumaki. I think I will take it from here," he said as he shook Kakashi's hand. "Mr. Kakashi-"
"How is Obito, is he alright?" Kakashi pleaded.
"Mr. Kakashi. I understand that this is an incredibly difficult time for you. But I need to discuss Mr. Obito's condition with you so that you have a clear understanding of what's happening."
Kakashi's heart slowed down alarmingly at those words. These were not the words that preceded good news.
"Um. I was told that he has been taken for an MRI, and… and that his GCS was 3 when he was brought in. What does that.. What does that mean?" he asked.
Dr. Yagami took a deep breath before answering. "A GCS of 3 indicates a severe level of consciousness impairment. That is why he was given an MRI."
"Yes. Um- That's what he- he said," he pointed towards the hallway, where the redhead doctor Uzumaki just went. "Is he better now? Do you know what… how to fix it?"
However, the neurologist held his gaze steadily, something that unnerved Kakashi all the more. "It is not that simple," he said. "Please, take a seat."
"No. Tell me. All everyone has told me is to take a seat since I have come here." he argued though he did not have the will. The doctor sighed.
"Alright. There is no easy way to say this but, Mr. Obito's MRI results are concerning. It has become clear that the reason for his unconscious state is that his brain stem has been severed to a great degree. This is a critical part of the brain that controls essential functions like breathing, heart rate, and consciousness. Unfortunately, the severity of the injury is extreme and it is not one that can be surgically repaired. Neither is there any brain activity."
Kakashi stumbled backward. He knew enough jargon from spending time with both Rin and Obito to know that it was something people did not come back from. But Obito. His brother in soul. No. This can't be. Not after everything.
Tears gathered in Kakashi's eyes as the doctor continued.
"His brain is no longer functional. It is unable to maintain any form of consciousness or sustain vital bodily functions. While his heart may still be beating with the help of medical support, he will never regain consciousness or wake up again. Mr. Obito is brain dead."
"No. No. This can't be. This cannot be happening," Kakashi cried as his world began crumbling away. "There must be something you can do. There must be something," he insisted, even though every single word he was saying contradicted itself.
Yagami's hand weighed on his shoulder. More burden than he could carry. What would he tell Rin now?
"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "I really am. But in such cases of brain stem severance, there is no chance of recovery. We are here to support you through this difficult time and we will provide all the information you need to make decisions about his care moving forward. However, at this point, we must consider the option of discontinuing life support, if that's a decision you're ready to make."
Kakashi's eyes widened in shock as he looked at him blankly. He had lost his best friend. His constant support and nagging and camaraderie. The first person who ever told him that he was not alone in his grief. The only one who kept saying it and meaning it. That very person had left him today. And however much he had wished and hoped to never lose anyone again, he couldn't even fathom about the life that awaited him and Rin after the loss of Obito.
A sudden sound of a vibration hit Kakashi's ears, as Dr. Yagami pulled out a pager from his pocket. "Ah," he began, but there was an interruption. A blonde woman walked out of the surgical suite, and Mr. Yagami walked towards her. Kakashi's mind was so numb, reeling from this sudden loss, that he did not even care to notice the conversation the two were having. Only, the blond woman walked up to him within the next minute.
"Mr. Kakashi?" she asked politely.
Kakashi looked up.
"I am Dr. Tsunade Senju. Miss Rin's surgeon," she introduced herself. "Dr. Uzumaki, her attending in the ER, explained everything to me. She is out of surgery."
And for one fleeting moment since that ominous phone call, Kakashi felt a glimmer of hope once again.
"Oh my god. How is she, is she okay?" He began with his barrage of questions unsteadily. "Where is she?"
"Kakashi," she said, centering him. "We have stabilized her, for now," she nodded. But the undertone of wariness in her voice still resonated around them very clearly. And Kakashi stilled at that as she continued.
"It might be wise for you to go see her, actually. Her condition is still critical and we cannot be sure about her recovery as of now. This might be the right time to see her."
The numbness that had escaped Kakashi for a while came back to him, only this time, it was determined to stay with him. "What?" he mustered as he looked at her blankly.
"Her condition is delicate, Kakashi. We can't say anything right now. It is up to her and the gods. Please, go see her. She will be waking up from anesthesia," she replied carefully. "But, it will be good if we don't stress her, though. So, no bad news," she cautioned, perhaps knowingly, about the bad news that he held.
He did not know what to even feel anymore. There was no ray of hope. There was only pain that was filling the void Obito had left behind. But if what Tsunade said was true, then Rin could fight it right? Then he would give her the reason to fight it, he decided instantly. He would not wait anymore. He would tell her a good thing instead, right away. That she was his soulmate. There was no way she would reject that. There was no way she could not want to get better after that. Surely she would fight for him. For them. With that, Kakashi wiped away his tears and put on a brave face as he walked into the ICU the surgeon directed him to.
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Kakashi almost shattered looking at Rin just as he walked into the room. There she was lying in a hospital gown, beneath a web of wires and tubes that connected her to many machines around her. The white bandages that were slowly staining red did a terrible job of covering the purple bruises on her chest and collarbone. And the ghostly pale facade she was wearing as she slept through what could only be the utmost pain. For a moment he wondered how he was still standing looking at the sight of it all. If it was not for the periodic beep of her pulse and the slight whirring sound from her breathing apparatus, there would be no other evidence of life in this room.
Kakashi approached her sleeping form slowly and carefully, just as he could see movement behind her closed eyelids. As her eyes opened ever so slightly and she looked around, Tsunade gave him a gentle push to sit down beside her.
Rin slightly turned her face to look at him. With a raspy voice, she spoke finally. "Kakashi", his name rang from her lips in almost a whisper. "Are… you… o…kay? Your.. not hurt… are you?" she breathed through the pain.
Kakashi looked concerned. Why would she think he was hurt when he was not in the car crash? "No. I'm… I'm fine," he assured carefully as he brought his hand to her right and held hers. Yet, he turned to look towards Dr. Tsunade for any help.
"Anesthesia is wearing off, she is in delirium. A little disoriented," she offered an explanation as she looked at the two of them softly. Kakashi nodded and looked at Rin once more, as he took a deep breath laced with courage. She was awake, and she was talking, that was a good sign right? At least he hoped.
"You'll… You'll be fine, Rin," he mustered through a smile, "You are going to be perfectly fine," he said.
It was only when something wet dropped on his hand that held hers did he realize that tears slipped from his eyes unknowingly, and that was when she responded with a smile of her own, knowingly.
"Okay," she still replied, as usual. She would never counter him.
As her hand tightened its grip on his every so slightly, Kakashi stilled once again. "You know… Obito was up- -set that he didn't have a soulmate," she told him again. Of course, the delirium. "I said- next year. Tell- him, okay? And- You- -keep him company," she stressed.
Oh how he longed and wished for those words to be true. That he could give Obito company. But that was not possible. Not after everything. This would be the one thing she asked that he would not be able to do. But he could not tell her that, could he?
"Okay", he accepted anyway, as always. Don't stress her. Her condition is delicate. "Okay."
"One of us has to, you know. Or he will be lost without us," she said delicately as she tried to laugh.
Her words hit him like a freight train as he realized what the universe was trying to tell him. She thinks she won't make it. No. No Rin, not you too. Please stay. Stay for me. The blur in eyes intensified unstoppably after that, tears had no place with him anyway.
"No. No." he pleaded in a whisper as he gripped her hand tighter. "You- You have to make it out Rin. You- You have to-" he began as noticed that her grip on his hand had begun to slack a little.
Kakashi pleads again. Maybe if he tells her. It will be enough for her to fight through. "You.. You have to, Rin," he began again. To hell with everything. He would tell her. He would tell her right now that she needed to stay for him. That he needed her to be okay. That he could not lose her too. "I cannot- Without you… No, Rin, please. You- You- My soulmate-"
"-She will love you, Kakashi," she rasped strongly, stressing every word as she interrupted him only to fall into a wince as she sank into the mattress. "No one… can… not love you… Kakashi," she breathed hazily, and her fingers released their slacking grip around his hand as a cruel display of the power the universe wielded. "Be happy, okay?" She asked, not that Kakashi could find anything else but her to look at. "Promise me," she voiced one last time as the sound that made out of her lips disappeared into thin air.
"Pro…mis…" a whisper came, and it became the only thing that broke the eerie silence that suddenly settled within the room.
Until a continuous beep from the machines suddenly broke the air and pierced his ears. And Kakashi's whole world faded away just like the light in her eyes.
"No- No Rin-" he began to shake her hand, her, and her face, "No no no no no… come back to me Rin. You cannot leave me like this. You CANNOT leave me like this Rin," he cried desperately, as the doctor rushed forward to check for a pulse.
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Her name was the only thing that lasted on his lips. Perhaps the only thing he would say until he died. That, and the echo of the machines seemed to be the only things left in the air. It was only a medium that brought him this misery. He could not breathe anymore. His death could not be that far away now that she was gone, could it? There was nothing here for him to stay for. There was nothing here for him to live for. There was nothing else here that was worth fighting for.
As a flurry of feet rush in, "No need. She has a DNR bracelet," he heard the doctor say before the beep stopped indefinitely and silence filled the room once again.
"She is an organ donor. Inform the Transplant coordinators," came another voice. "Call it."
"Time of death - 2:02 pm".
And Kakashi was sucked into a black hole. Ripped apart over and over, yet falling into a never ending void all the same.
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Present
Minato was there to pick up the pieces, Kakashi remembered. Perhaps he also remembered telling the doctors that Obito was an organ donor too. He thinks the bodies were cremated after that. Kushina had taken him to the woods to spread their ashes, so that must be true. According to Minato, Kakashi did not move for over a week. Maybe the soul was not necessary for survival. If nothing could make a difference, then why change anything?
Kakashi ran on autopilot for a while. Or maybe Minato was the pilot. Picked him up, put him to shower, put food in front of him.
He did not remember how long that lasted.
But now that he could think back, he remembered what changed the tide.
Kushina. Her words pushed through.
'Respect her last wishes, Kakashi.'
And when did Kakashi ever fail Rin?
So there were parts of him that molded himself the way she wanted him to be. He was powerless like that. They will both be with him, as they promised too.
And a small part of him that was left, stayed close to truth.
"I don't have a soulmate," Kakashi repeated to the gang. It was the truth anyway, wasn't it?
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