Chapter Text
“Balthazar, I didn’t tell you about this place for you to eat all of my honey. The bees gave it to me as a present.” Castiel sighed as they entered the illusion of a lounge room in their pocket of space.
“Cassie, don’t be stingy. Greed is a sin, you know.” Balthazar reclined on a fainting chair that Castiel had received from one of his vessels’ lineage, a lovely refined lady who worked at a brothel in Europe. Initially, they had not wanted to accept gifts from the species they visited, but soon, Castiel realized the importance of gift-giving. It was not always about need; in fact, more often than not, it was about showing care.
“The bees will be angry if they find out. They are still pissed at you for dropping one of their hives.” Castiel had asked Balthazar, their second-in-command and confidant—ten thousand years ago—to help them smuggle the bees into heaven.
After watching for millennia, they had grown tired of standing by and disregarding the souls of other creatures. At first, they had done it alone, hiding to visit Earth. During their initial visits, they were completely non-corporeal, limited only to observing.
Mesmerized by all creatures, they had been a sentinel, until the mess in heaven at the start of humanity. Castiel had not been able to bring themselves to look at Earth for a long time. The knowledge, as well as the chatter from angels, had reached them anyway. They knew all about Cain and Abel and what had been going on in hell. Weirdly, Lucifer was the archangel they all knew the most about. As humans say, Lucifer had been busy raising hell. Michael was never one to socialize, but now nobody had seen him since the battle. Orders were still being given, the only sign that he was still there. Raphael remained, as eager as ever to take over the top rank. Castiel did not know much about them, not for lack of availability, but for lack of desire to do so. The one they missed dearly was Gabriel—the only one of the top rank who seemed to try to enjoy existence.
During the first war in heaven, Gabriel had stood aside. Castiel alone seemed to have noticed Gabriel lowering their blade, because they had lowered theirs too. After it was over, they noticed Gabriel sway—not in a big way, nor even in a subtle way. It was more of a feeling than anything else. Their pocket of time was safe for them, so they assumed it might help Gabriel in some way.
Without a word, they held onto their brethren and took him. It showed how out of it the archangel was that he could be moved. Neither spoke, but that was the first time Castiel had felt a connection other than camaraderie. That was also the first time an angel had cried. Gabriel had wept and wept, so much so, it had formed a river on earth. It was as breathtaking as it was heartbreaking.
Until their older sibling's departure from heaven, they both had shared more with each other than any other angel. The hole Gabriel left had led to Castiel trying to fill it. Thousands of years after the archangel had disappeared, Castiel found himself enchanted by the sight of a sunset in the Los Andes mountains; they hadn’t noticed for the first five minutes that the angel beside them was also lost in it. With an unspoken agreement, they had both locked eyes on the next forty sunsets. Only after the 3rd day did they start speaking to each other. After the 25th, Castiel had gathered the courage to ask Balthazar a tentative question.
“What do you think is the purpose of a sunset?” The other took their time to contemplate the answer.
“To be beautiful.” Castiel’s form didn’t smile like humans did, but warm waves danced around them. They did not share Balthazar’s opinion, but that was not the point of their question. The fact that the other angel could think of an answer on their own and be confident enough to share it gave Castiel the push they needed to extend an invitation at the 40th sunset. That brings them back to this: Balthazar in their space, eating their honey.
“They don’t have to know if you don’t tell them,” Balthazar’s rings spun in a way that indicated they were playing coy.
Castiel sighed, a habit they had picked up from humans. “I won’t tell them, but I won’t lie if they ask.” For an angel with so many secrets, lying never appealed to them. The art of omission was far more their style.
“Such a goody two shoes.” Balthazar’s form sank deeper into the seat; since going down to Earth with Castiel, they seemed to be picking up more and more from the human world. Castiel gazed upon Earth and reminisced. During their early visits, Castiel contented themselves with just watching, appreciating life. However, the first time someone saw them, they felt elated. Some humans—special ones—could see angels’ true forms without the usual carnage to their eyes that most suffered. They shared a long conversation with a Sumerian woman, one of the first possible vessels that could hold their grace. She was the beginning of their communication and learning from humans, but definitely not the end. She had offered to let Castiel in, and that was the day they felt rain for the first time. They had also learned, unfortunately, the toll it took on a human to let an angel in. Instead of shoving the woman to the back of her consciousness, they found a way for both to be in control. It took a long time and a lot of effort from both of them to find balance. When they did, the effect was immediate. Castiel could enjoy the sensations felt by humans in a way they had never imagined, and the woman felt the lightness of not a single ache or strain in her body. From then on, Castiel had become very good at creating a balance for both them and their host. A nice train conductor who had offered permission around 1890 compared it to the difference between riding on the roof of a train and sitting inside in a cushy seat—same speed and movement, but one being far easier on the body. They then discussed the time Richard, the train conductor, had been dared to ride on top for a few minutes while still learning to drive one.
One of their favorite people to visit was a psychic with whom they spoke frequently before her death in 1892. She was not a viable vessel for them; regardless, she could see their true form. “Castiel, why is such a lovely creature like you so interested in an old woman like me?” Shennong asked.
“Why is a noblewoman with so many other people to talk to offering her stories to a stranger like me?” Deflection was another thing Castiel really enjoyed, yet, in this situation, her question was genuine.
“Because you really listen, dear. That is so rare in this world.” Her hand did not quite touch him, but it comforted her to lay hers close to his form.
“You make it easy, Shennong. I listen because you talk to me. So many talk, but rarely do people share themselves through speech.” She didn’t express the gratitude trapped behind her teeth; instead, she talked. Until her last breath, on the steps leading down to the courtyard, she talked to Castiel. Her final words expressed her joy at seeing her fallen children at last—the two babies who had been born cold as stone and had felt like shackles on her legs for the rest of her life.
“You shall meet them, and they shall meet their mother.” Stillborn babies usually shared the same heaven, the feeling of their mother’s voice and the warmth of her chest. People did not share heavens. Every soul had a heaven of its own, since peace could easily be broken by unrest. Humans, despite their many strengths, had a major weakness: conflict.
This was the beginning for Castiel; he had smuggled bees, beetles, dogs, cats, and so many other creatures into others’ heavens. That was easy. Their existence didn’t make a blip in the vastness of heaven. Human souls, on the other hand, were the shining beacon within it. The illusion required to trick the babies’ heavens took a long time to create and consumed a lot of the angel’s energy, but at last, they had done it. Two replicas—they held up against passing eyes—but they weren’t sure if the illusions would withstand scrutiny. Angels had never visited any human’s heaven before, except for Castiel. They just hoped it stayed that way. Finally, they arrived in Shennong’s heaven. She was looking at the babies she had hoped to meet for so long, but the projections in her heaven were not enough to fool her. She was crying silently.
“Castiel.” She didn’t need to turn to see him. “You said my children would be here.” Her tone was cold enough to pierce through Castiel, the sharpness as lethal as an angel’s blade.
“Please forgive me; it took longer than I expected to fool their heaven.” She turned abruptly in the direction of her friend’s voice. Nestled in two of their wings, two sleeping babies lay. Her tears did not stop, which confused him at first. He had thought this would bring her happiness.
“Thank you.” It wasn’t sadness that caused her new wave of tears after all. Castiel had never been prayed to personally, but perhaps, somehow, the way she had said thank you must be what it feels like.
It wasn’t the last time. How could it be after that? That first year, Castiel had reunited a dear friend with his wife—two lovers not allowed to be together in life for the simple fact that they were both women. A family had died in a train crash on their way to the first trip they were able to afford. Time ran differently in heaven; one single memory could last for centuries, but the comfort would stay the same. Some people’s heaven seemed to be each other. What a complicated and beautiful concept they had witnessed. Balthazar had been helping as much as they could. They couldn’t ask for a better friend and ally, but the task they had given Castiel would be so much different from any they had faced before.
Only nine years after they started their quest to reunite human souls, Castiel was called by heaven to assist some field agents from another garrison. One of the angels who had been watching Earth and gathering intel necessary for heaven had defected; it was rumored that a child had been sired by them. Castiel had been summoned due to the importance of the task. Since they were of the highest rank among them, they were deemed to be the strategist and judge. The sentencing would be in their hands.
The group—composed of Ishim, Mirabel, and them—had been tasked with finding the location of the supposed Nephilim born from Akobel. Castiel came down and found Ethel, a direct descendant of one of their vessel’s family lines. They had spoken before, often sharing stories and hopes. Ethel was fascinated by the angels' ability to fly. They had taken her on many trips using their wings at a slower speed than usual to let her feel a gentle breeze on her face. In exchange, she had taught them how to drive a motorcycle, a beautiful all-black 1901 California.
When Castiel asked her for permission, they emphasized that it would be dangerous for both of them if she were in control or if she made the other angels aware that she was conscious. This would be difficult for a person as opinionated as she, but Castiel promised to listen to her inside their shared mind.
Here they were on Earth, with a half-cooked plan. If Castiel needed to sweat, they would be soaking by now just from nerves alone. Balthazar was a very trusted ally, but this was the first time they had asked for something quite this significant—something that could get them killed if they received the most merciful outcome. Copying the illusion of a human and leaving it in a Heaven that would most likely not be visited by anyone was child’s play compared to this. The plan consisted of Castiel finding Akobel first and convincing him to trust them enough to accept a fake baby illusion they had created. The human mother would be killed; there was no other way around it. If the birth didn’t destroy her, then the other angels would. It was a fate Castiel couldn’t save her from if they wanted the baby to be safe. Originally, Balthazar was going to talk to Akobel first, but they had never interacted in Heaven. While Castiel wasn’t his garrison's direct captain, they had made a point to talk to all soldiers at some point. For a long time, Castiel had felt alone in their doubt. The only other one had been Lucifer, and he wasn’t the best example around, but they should have known. After Gabriel, after Balthazar, they should have realized how presumptuous it was to think that they were alone. The only one fascinated by the otherness of the world.
Castiel had barely enough time to convince Akobel to try going along with their plan. The birth was just a couple of hours away from starting. The angels had agreed to meet at the front of the house that the human and Akobel shared. By Heaven’s law, an unborn nephilim could not be judged, but as soon as they were brought into the world, they could answer for their existence. If you asked them, it didn’t make much sense. What crimes can you commit by just existing? Not for the first time had they wondered what Heaven was for if not for forgiveness.
One thing they had become very good at was going unnoticed, which benefited the task at hand. They appeared behind Akobel, who was standing at the sink in a beautifully decorated kitchen. “Hello, Akobel,” Castiel tipped their head in greeting. “I should have assumed they would send you, Castiel. I did not expect you alone, however,” he said slowly, turning. Not surprised, and if you didn’t know him, he might have even looked relaxed.
“Yes, I was sent for you. Not just me, but Ishim and Mirabel as well.” Akobel subtly looked around, but Castiel caught it anyway. “They are not with me.” She could feel the suspicion emanating from him, which made her tilt her head slightly. “I have no reason to lie; an ambush would not be necessary.”
“As blunt as always, I see.” She had learned the art of indirect speech and small talk, but this situation hardly called for it. Castiel avoided using it when there was no need. “Don’t make that face; I meant it as a compliment. What brings you to my house without an invitation?”
“I apologize for being rude; this matter is urgent, you see. I cannot feel your lover or child’s presence in this place, but I assume they are not far.” Akobel’s brows raised slightly.
“Why are you asking?” His stance was more relaxed than before, but his guard was still up, not that she blamed him.
“I want to help.” The arms uncrossed from his chest. “I can’t save your lover.” Grief seemed to pass over his expression. “But I can try to make sure you and your child see her again.” The hair on Akobel's arms stood up. Were he human, that wouldn’t mean much, but the loss of control of his vessel was very telling for Castiel. “I can’t promise anything, but I want to help you save your child.”
Akobel’s impassive face crumbled. If they had the time, Castiel would like to comfort him, but it wasn’t in their favor today.
“How?” He steeled himself again. “I’ve looked everywhere, tried everything I could think of or find.”
“I might have a way to trick them. I’ve been making illusions to smuggle other people into each other’s heaven.” Before she could continue, he interrupted her with a low whistle.
“Castiel, you are something else.” The lines in Akobel’s temple, which shouldn’t have been there to begin with, smoothed out.
“Is that a compliment as well?” Castiel’s vessel was always inclined to small smiles, almost smirks, but they were always far too soft for them. It was partly the muscle memory moving her features, but it would be a lie to say she wasn’t slightly amused as well.
“More fact than anything.” Akobel extended his hands to her; with a firm shake, they had an agreement.