Chapter Text
3 weeks later, Halloween night
Whatever Evan was having with Barty was real. It was realer than his last flings and that scared him, it was dangerous… to catch feelings like that, he needed to do something about it and fast. So Evan decided he would throw a Halloween party and for once Pandora was on board as well, not complaining about having their flat trashed.
Evan needed to take his mind off of things, and the only way he knew how was sex, drugs and alcohol. He needed Barty, and bad. He had to impress him so he wouldn’t end up broken-hearted again.
—
barty <3
Wednesday, 6:30 pm
halloween party tn at mine!!
bring people pls i don't want my sister im dating a loser lol
7:15pm
okay rude first of all were not even dating
2nd of all im not a loser i'm far from that princess, i'll be there don't worry. :3
—
Those 4 words… “were not even dating” when Evan read them he freaked, in a bad way. Self doubt, insecurities, bad self imagery… it all downed on him like a tidal wave, and it drowned him. So what did he do… that's right pregame and get ready, snort coke and do his makeup.
3 hours and a bottle of champagne later he was ready, clad in the sluttiest thing he had in his closet he drew a red joker like smile while having a psychosis episode because of some bad coke and black eyeliner smudged around his pretty blue eyes he opened up the door and smashed his lips against Barty’s when he opened the door.
His house was a mess, hot, sweaty bodies dancing around, neon lights and a disco ball illuminated the room poorly. The bass from the speakers was making the floor shake like there was an earthquake happening.
Barty immediately grabbed Evan's waist, not even having time to introduce the people he brought with him before he was getting pulled into Evan’s living room where it was all going on and shoved against a wall as he slid knee in between Evan's legs.
“Where’r your friends?” Evan asked with a fucked out looked on his face as Barty looked around for them and quickly spotted the small group.
He grabbed Evan by the waist and led him towards them and for once in his life Evan thought he wasn’t going to be disappointed when getting introduced to his… someone's friends… how wrong he was.
Before they arrived in front of the group Barty let go of Evan’s waist keeping an arms length of distance from him. Evan immediately noticed a cherub-like boy with ethereal white skin and wavy black hair, a bit shorter than him, who looked at Evan like he was going to eat the blonde boy in one bite.
“Regulus Black,” Barty spoke, pointing towards said boy “this is Evan. Evan this is Regulus, I’ve known him since highschool he’s my best friend.”
“Pleased to meet you Evan.” Regulus said clearly not pleased to make his acquaintance “And who might you be to our darling Barty?” he asked with sarcasm clear in his tone.
In that moment Evan forgot how to speak, he couldn’t say Barty was his boyfriend, he made that very clear in their messages.
“Uh…” Evan mumbled “we’re friends I suppose…” he said unsure of himself as he hugged his own arms, something he used to do a lot when he felt intimidated by somebody.
“Yeah whatever I don’t actually care.” Regulus said, looking Evan up and down like he was wearing a trashbag.
“S-sorry… I-I’m gonna go for a bit you guys have fun” Evan stuttered as he excused himself poorly from the situation and stormed off to the bathroom with tears welling in his eyes.
He locked the door and immediately wiped his eyes the best he could without messing up his makeup. Evan hated mean people and he hated feeling uncertain in a relationship, or whatever the hell he had with Barty.
The problem with Evan is that he does not know how to properly cope, at all. He even surprises himself at some of the choices he makes, it is astounding how they get worse the more it hurts him. And another thing you should know about Evan is that he always has cocaine on him. It’s what he does when he feels bad, and considering the fact that he’s been doing coke since being 17 does not help whenever he feels unconsolable. Evan hopes he’s going to die of an overdose somewhere far away from this place, he just wants to feel safe and happy… coke helps him with that, she helps with everything. A small part of Evan wants to do something so bad that Pandora will finally have enough with his stupid ass and kick him out or forget about him, part of him wants that so that he won’t hurt her when he’s finally going to kill himself.
So Evan does what he does best when he hurts, he cuts and snorts. He slices his pale wrists and ankles until red crimson blood drips out, he smudges it on top of the exaggerated smile he painted on his face with red lipstick, the blood dries and cracks there, stains his skin. After he reaches one of his veins with the blade he had gotten from a razor he snorts three lines of coke like it was nothing and in that high he even sprinkles some into his open wound hoping it would stop the bleeding like it stops all his other problems, and it did, momentarily, just like his other shut.
When he unlocked the bathroom door he stumbled into a tall pretty mexican boy with warm brown skin and black curls that was crying.
“I-i’m sorry” Evan mumbled as he tried to wipe the blood that was running down his forearms and dripping onto the floor.
“Y-you’re fine, ‘m sorry for leaning on the door didn’t know anyone was in there.” the boy said, wiping his pretty face.
“I’m Evan” he said, extending his stained hand, and for the first time in his life he made the acquaintance of someone he didn’t want to have sex with, he didn’t know that was possible.”
“James” he said sniffling and wiping his nose with the sleeve of his Lighting McQueen shirt. And that’s when Evan saw it, the reason James was crying: Regulus pushed against the wall and Barty kissing, no not kissing, eating his face out. Evan forgot how to breathe, for real this time, he wanted to actually kill himself, but he couldn’t because they weren’t together, Barty had every right to go and do that, it’s not like he was Evan’s boyfriend.
In that brief moment Evan couldn’t think straight he grabbed a bottle of whatever he saw first, pushed past James and went out to his fire escape, tears streaming down his slim hollowed cheeks. But of course before he opened the window that led to said fire escape he made eye contact with Barty. It felt sickening, seeing somebody you care about so much shamesly do that in front of you, knowing that the person that’s supposed to only be fucking you is going to have somebody else in their sheets tonight. In those five seconds in which their gazes collided Evan felt the music slow down, he couldn’t feel the bass make the floor shake anymore, he only imagined Barty and Barty’s lips on his… but then that moment ended, the eye contact broke, Evan got out onto the fire escape and Barty kept making out with his ‘best friend’.
Evan wanted to jump off the fire escape, maybe then Barty would actually give two shits about him instead of some other boy. So he snorted another line and sliced another future scar into his forearm and moments after he leaned his head on the bars of the railing and passed out.
“Happy fucking Halloween…” he slurred as he lifted the bottle of whatever as if making a toast and accidentally dropped it from 4 stories up on somenoes car. He would soon find out that it was Regulus’ car, I guess not only bad things come from drinking.