Chapter Text
The area surrounding the paddock exit is packed with people as Sebastian, Chris and I come out. Fans immediately surround Sebastian but he is used to it and signs autographs as he strides towards the car which has been arranged for us. Chris and I manage to stay close to him, thanks to Chris's crowd-weaving skill, and the three of us get in the car before long.
We are driven through and out of the bustling central Monte Carlo and arrive at a much quieter harbour. Getting out of the car, Sebastian leads the way past some yachts until we are at a sleek silver one with solar panels on its sides and on top.
Sebastian climbs onto it and then helps me and Chris onboard. We find ourselves on the main deck and are greeted not by Nico but by Kimi Räikkönen. He is a little drunk – cheerily so. He wraps his arm around Chris's shoulders and pats his arm repeatedly. He then smiles at me, hugs me and says, 'I'm so glad to see you again.' If any stranger saw it, they wouldn't think we only met yesterday.
Kimi goes to the kitchen to get some drinks for us and Sebastian takes us up a short staircase to the upper deck where there are two white sofas and a few chairs around a large low table. The roof is made up of multiple solar panels. Sebastian informs us that Nico has been entertaining Rosberg Ventures' guests again today but should be here soon. He sits on one of the sofas and Chris and I take a seat opposite him. Kimi comes in bringing drinks, sitting himself next to Sebastian. We each hold a bottle and raise a toast.
'So, how was your first experience of attending a GP?' Sebastian asks.
'I think,' I reply, 'if I were to try to describe my feelings about it, I would have to write a whole album.'
He beams. 'Really?'
'Definitely. It exceeded my expectations. The race, of course, but really the entire weekend.'
Both Sebastian and Kimi are smiling and looking at us. I wonder if they have seen those photos.
Chris pipes up, 'What would we name the album though? Grand Prix are two words.'
We have given all of Pet Shop Boys' studio albums one-word titles. We want to stick to that tradition.
I come up with some title ideas for fun. 'Maybe "Riviera"..."Glamour"...or "Race"?'
'That's nice. The ticker symbol for Ferrari stock is RACE,' Kimi says.
'Or,' Sebastian says as he gives the cheekiest grin, 'it could be "Kiss".'
OK. They have seen the photos.
Chris bursts out laughing. I laugh too, although I feel myself blushing profusely. I run my hand over my face.
'I don't know what we were thinking; it was like I forgot the world around us existed,' I utter, remembering the moment Chris held me tight on the hotel balcony.
'Isn't that the best feeling in the world?' Sebastian says.
'It was worth it,' Chris says. 'I will hate it when some journalists or fans ask us stupid questions about those photos, but it was still worth it.'
Chris puts his arm onto the back of the sofa, placing his hand on my upper back. It reminds me of some of our interviews in the 1980s. We used to have a lot of interviews where the two of us were squeezed into a sofa, our thighs pressed onto each other's and with Chris's arm on the back of the sofa behind me. He used to give me a sneaky nudge with his foot or his hand while I was answering a question, making me laugh. The interviewer would have no idea what I was laughing about.
I glance at Chris now, sitting beside me, looking as cheeky as he did four decades ago but mellower.
He is right; it was worth it.
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Nico arrives soon after. He looks a little tired but is in good spirits. He hugs Chris and me and then gives us a tour of the vessel. It is an electric yacht made by a Polish company called Sunreef Yachts. He shows us the solar panels and explains how quiet the electric motor is when the yacht is sailing. He also takes us downstairs and into the kitchen, where the majority of units and surfaces consist of recycled materials.
When he has just finished showing us one of the double-bedroom cabins located further downstairs in the hull, he receives a text and announces, 'Lewis is on the way.'
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Lewis arrives about an hour later with Roscoe. He has also brought Charles Leclerc, Alexandra and their dog Leo. We all gather on the main deck to meet them.
Lewis says, 'Sorry; it took longer than I thought.'
'Not his fault,' Charles explains. 'He had to wait while I attended to the last of my home-GP duties. Sorry.'
Charles greets me and Chris with handshakes. We have obviously seen him in the Ferrari garage but it is nice to get acquainted properly. He says he is a pianist himself and wanted to meet us.
'I hear you already met Alex and Leo,' he adds.
We each greet her with a kiss to each cheek.
Everyone takes a seat upstairs. Chris and I get to have Roscoe and Leo on and around our laps. They are delightful. Chris takes off his sunglasses and cap and puts them away in his jacket.
'Neil and Chris, do you want to watch your grid interview? It's on YouTube,' Nico asks.
'Is it? OK; let's see it,' I say.
Nico comes to sit next to us and plays the clip on his mobile phone. The interview plays out just as I remember it, except that both my and Chris's smiles are wider than I thought they were at the time. We watch Martin Brundle saying, as he walks away from us, 'That was lovely. It is so nice of them to talk to us. I've always liked their music.'
'Yay!' Chris is pleased.
'It went well, yeah?' Nico says with a smile.
'Honestly, we couldn't have done it without your help, Nico. Thank you,' I tell him.
'No; it's down to your media skills, I'm sure. You had great smiles too,' he says.
'Actually, we had just bumped into Kylie then, which helped,' I reveal.
Sebastian says, 'I met Ms. Minogue at the Red Bull Energy Station. She mentioned she had seen you.'
'I wanted to meet her!' Lewis exclaims.
We all laugh.
-----
Charles, Alexandra and Leo set off just over an hour later, saying they need to pop in to a party their local friends are holding for them. Alexandra lets me and Chris pet Leo one last time. Charles says he would love us to visit him in Monaco sometime.
Sebastian and Kimi disappear downstairs to fix something to eat. Chris and I are sitting opposite Lewis and Nico, with Roscoe lying on the sofa next to Lewis.
'It's been a memorable weekend,' Nico remarks.
We all nod.
'Chris, Neil,' Lewis says, 'I'm really glad you came.'
'We're glad we came,' I say. 'Thank you for squeezing me onto the guest list last-minute. I hope it didn't cause you and your team too much extra work.'
Lewis laughs. 'Honestly, I was so excited when Chris said he wanted you to come with him. I thought, "Why didn't I think of that myself?"'
'Lewis,' Chris asks, 'you've seen the photos of us kissing, right?'
My eyes widen. Chris has always been unpredictable, however well I know him, and he still is.
Lewis and Nico grin simultaneously.
'Man, I was trying not to refer to it directly!' Lewis giggles. 'But now that you have, yes, I have seen the photos. After the podium, three people showed them to me: Angela, my physio; Valtteri, my former teammate; and a journalist called Buchanan.'
'Buchanan!' Chris cries out. 'He took a photo of us even though I said no.'
'He showed me that photo!' Lewis says. 'I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you had consented to that photo because you seemed to be posing properly in it. You both looked swell, if that helps.'
'I bet he will post it on Instagram and tag us,' I sigh.
'I guess you've seen the photos too, Nico?' Chris asks.
'Yes, Vivian showed them to me.'
'Oh, those photos are everywhere!' I groan.
Nico adds, 'She was impressed! She said they were like a movie scene. I agree.'
'You are joking!' Chris laughs.
'No; seriously, look at them again. I know it's not nice to get paparazzi-type photos taken and whoever took them shouldn't have, but those are very romantic photos. You both look great in them and also the lighting is just right,' Nico says with a straight face. He seems to really mean it.
Nico brings up the photos in question on his phone and hands it to us. Looking over the photos again, he is right about the lighting. The low light from the floor lamp in the hotel room behind us gives the photos a smooth, dreamy feel. You can just make out our facial expressions and our movements are clearly visible. The gradual progression of the closeness of our bodies, the culminating kiss, the snugness of our embrace and the ensuing giddiness are obvious to see. As for whether the photos are romantic or not, well, I cannot be so objective so soon after the event. Did it feel romantic? It was more like elation, relief, gratification and euphoria, all mixed in and flooding my senses.
'It was euphoric,' Chris says, as if he read my mind.
'Nico! Shall we go and check how Kimi and Sebastian are getting on with preparing food?' Lewis says, standing up.
'Yeah!' Nico springs up too.
They disappear downstairs with Roscoe in tow. Of course we know what they are doing: they are giving us some privacy.
Chris rotates his body towards me on the sofa and wraps his arms gently around me. I put my arms around him too. The warmth of Chris's body, the curves of his arms and the familiar smell of him fill my senses. I craved this all day. Although we had held each other in bed all night, it hadn't felt enough. I don't know if any amount of hugging him will ever feel enough.
There were many times, in every decade of our partnership, when one of us would support the other emotionally. Whenever I was feeling miserable or overwhelmed, Chris would make sure to be there for me, often staying over at my place so that I would not be alone. I would do the same for him whenever he was going through a hard time. We never had to say much to each other; we needed no explanation. We would often just sit together. Sometimes we would pat each other's shoulder or back. We would, however, never hold each other in our arms – not after we came to a mutual unspoken agreement to cease the romantic aspect of our relationship. So many times though, I wanted to reach out and hold him in my arms, like we are doing now.
I take off my glasses and place them on the table next to us. He scoots up and his forehead touches mine. We stay like that for some moments, enjoying the closeness and the quiet. It is nearly the sunset. Shadows start to fall, bringing on the night.
Slowly he tilts his head back, staring into my eyes. His eyes are two swirling pools of passion and tenderness, laden with our history and all the more gorgeous for it.
He moves his arms and places his hands on either side of my face, not firmly like he did on Ferrari's balcony but fondly.
'I love you, Neil,' he whispers.
Butterflies. I feel a million of them inside me.
'I love you too, Chris.'
His face moves closer and we kiss. We kiss for a long time. Eventually we hear some noises when Lewis, Nico, Sebastian and Kimi sit around the dining table downstairs but they don't disturb us. It feels so good to be just the two of us. Anyone else around would be superfluous.
Together we are safe, whatever we do.