Chapter Text
Fucking awkward. That’s what this was.
They were finally walking home together again—like it should be—but nothing about it felt right.
Nanao’s eyes stayed glued to his screen, fingers flicking, muffled laughter slipping out at god knows what, but not a single word leaving his lips.
That wasn’t what Kaito wanted—not how it was supposed to be.
He opened his mouth. Watched. Thought. Closed it again. For once, he didn’t know what to do. What to say. With a frown, he forced his gaze to the side, tracking cracks in the sidewalk and the overgrown grass creeping along the edges.
What did he even want? His hands buried deeper into his pockets, as if the answer might be within reach.
Lover.
There it was again.
The word wouldn’t leave him alone since it had popped into his mind an hour ago. He loved shooting. He always had. Caressing the bow, holding it tight—that had always felt natural. Thinking like that was normal.
But when had his thoughts started to… shift like this? When had the line between kyūdō and Nanao blurred? Worse—why did the mere idea of holding Nanao tight burn him from the inside out? Like a fire spreading to his cheeks, coloring them, fingers twitching with the urge to test the sensation.
He was his goddamn cousin.
Kaito bit his lip hard. That was stupid. Stupid to hyperfocus on Nanao. Stupid to even dare compare love and Nanao. Stupid that Nanao even initiated that dumb-ass challenge in the first place.
Everything—stupid, stupid, stupid.
The sand crunched beneath their feet, a steady tap tap tap that grated harder on his nerves than it should. Each step, each second of silence screamed in his mind—wrong.
Everything— wrong, wrong, wrong. Fucking wrong.
Stop screwing with me. Stop being so passive. Stop messing with my head.
Sleep deprivation be damned—his pulse skyrocketed, bubbling over with too much emotion he couldn’t even begin to name. He couldn’t take it anymore. His mind reeled, spinning in endless, repetitive loops, ready to explode his head with one contradiction after another.
It was all Nanao’s fault.
Enough—with a grunt, he snapped his head around. Oh, he was so ready to hurl every harsh word he could come up with at the man walking by his side.
Nothing came out.
Kaito’s mouth hung open without a single sound that left his lips. His breath hitched, eyes went wide.
Peachy-pink stared back at him—wide, innocent, incredibly beautiful. Soft lips curled into that sweet, easygoing smile, with only a tiny nervous edge.
“You want your reward, Kacchan?” Nanao breathed, voice pitched an octave too high, cheeks tinted an adorable shade of red.
What?
Kaito felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. All his irritation vaporized—poof, gone—now he was just… smoking. Confused. Disarmed.
Yes. A kiss.
Another kiss.
A real kiss?
No. Kaito didn’t want a kiss from his cousin. Didn’t need a kiss from him. His heart hammered loud enough to verbally disagree, palms started to sweat for no reason—definitely not because of a kiss.
It was just a kiss. That’s all. But…he did deserve a reward, didn’t he? After all, he had beaten Nanao’s ass.
“Kacchan?” Nanao tilted his head, bangs slipping sideways, revealing more of his pale skin. Not that Kaito stared. He simply noticed—faintly, out of the corner of his eye—just long enough for Nanao’s easygoing smile to change. Those kissable lips stretched into that amused grin he always wore when Kaito did something stupid.
What bullshit. Kaito didn’t do anything stupid.
He yanked his head to the side, eyes zeroing in on the stone wall they were standing by—anywhere but Nanao.
“Whatever,” Kaito mumbled. Those were great stones. Solid ones. Grey, lightly mossy. Really good stones. His shoulders were basically as tense as them. Weird.
He shoved his hands deeper into his jacket—waited, with his stupid sweaty palms and a stupidly racing pulse of… of something. What? Kaito didn’t know. That the stones move? That Nanao... moved?
When was the last time he felt this anxious?
“No?” Nanao’s all too mischievous lilt echoed around him, mocking him for something that clearly wasn’t happening.
Kaito could only scoff. He wasn’t a coward and he wasn’t acting weird. More importantly, his cheeks weren’t as red as his hair. God—why was his body betraying him like that? Showing something that was absolutely not there.
“Yes, dumbass,” he shot back, muttered under his breath, not even daring to raise his voice.
That wasn’t awkward or anything. Kaito would just claim the reward he deserved. That was all. Nothing special. Who would care about a kiss from his cousin? That’s not why he had been so unfocused the past few days. It was only Nanao’s challenge. Obviously. Absolutely.
Everything that followed felt like someone had pressed the fast-forward button. Like Nanao used to do when he got too excited during a movie and couldn’t wait for the resolution. Kaito always scoffed at him. But he couldn’t even scoff now.
A soft chuckle. A light rustle of clothes. A weight that landed on his shoulders, giving him no choice but to avert his gaze.
Spring met Summer—then, silence.
That was all it took.
His knees went weak, trembling like his arms after holding his kai for too long.
But… it was just the lack of sleep, right? Nothing else. He had seen Nanao up close a million times. Had stared into those eyes—watched the trillion shades of peach dancing inside them. A soft deer-brown at the edges, pink specks scattered like puzzle pieces waiting to be connected. Thick, dark lashes framed it all, casting shadows that made them seem darker than they really were.
Luckily. Because if those eyes looked any brighter right now—if he stared into that universe in direct sunlight—Kaito might actually faint.
Why… why does it feel different?
How long had they stayed like this? Wrapped in each other’s arms, noses almost touching—not quite, but close enough to stare. Close enough to take in. Close enough to feel—too much and too little, all at once. The moment stretched long enough for his traitorous, racing heart to calm, but not long enough to make sense of anything.
Before he could understand, Nanao leaned forward. A petite figure that somehow fit so perfectly in Kaito’s arms, pushing himself onto his toes, just to…
Kaito’s eyes fluttered shut. He wanted to feel everything—wanted to memorize the sensation, hands already poised to pull Nanao closer onto his chest.
Lips met.
Flush and soft, and sweet and… and…
Short?!
Nanao pulled back just as quickly. His cheeks were dusted in a faint, shy red, those stupid, kissable lips curved into a warm smile. When his heels touched the ground again, it landed with a quiet thud that felt like a gong in Kaito’s heart.
A peck. A fucking, short peck? Worse—Nanao stepped back. That fucker dared to step back.
“Screw you!” Kaito blurted, already grabbing Nanao by the collar and yanking him forward. Rough. Unpredictable. Enough to make Nanao stumble—enough to almost face-plant into Kaito’s chest if he hadn’t been held that tight.
“What the hell was that crap?! If you say you’ll kiss me… do it properly! You know damn well I don’t do half-assed shit.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Kaito panted, breath coming out in ragged bursts. The faint hum of cars and distant chatter from around the corner swept around them. A bell rang somewhere. Crickets chirped in the tall grass nearby.
But no words. No confessions, no excuses.
They just stared—eyes locked, like they were the only ones who existed in that moment.
The world blurred out, like a camera lens struggling to focus. Focus on the right things. Focus on the way Nanao huffed, breath brushing against Kaito’s neck before he lifted his chin, a crooked grin tugging at his lips.
“For that,” he dared to coo, voice low and teasing, “you’ve got a lot to learn, Kacchan~.”
Kaito’s left eye twitched, his grip tightened, the white cords of Nanao’s green hoodie pressing into his fists, grounding him. That bastard wanted to act cocky? Fine. He could match that crap.
Without warning, Kaito shoved him sideways. Nanao’s back hit the stone wall with a thud. A low huff escaped his lungs, his bag slipping from his shoulder on impact.
“Wha—”
Then—Kaito leaned in.
Lips met again. Less sweet this time… definitely clumsier. His hands braced against the stone beside Nanao’s head, feeling the cold, mossy texture under his fingertips. He had Nanao exactly where he wanted him.
Now what?
Should he move his lips? Open them? What the hell was he supposed to do with his tongue?
Panic flared with every passing millisecond, his fingers digging into the cracks in the wall. He would never recover from this if he didn’t do something—anything. Now.
A saccharine chuckle vibrated against his lips—sweet enough to make him momentarily forget how awkward and cheesy their pose was. “So helpless,” Nanao purred, before licking over Kaito’s bottom lip.
He took the lead—and Kaito let him. He simply copied.
Their lips moved in sync, pressing against each other like it was the most natural thing in the world.
His chest felt lighter than it had in days. Who was he kidding? He wanted this—needed this. To take in Nanao with every fiber of his being. Everything felt like cotton candy—like hugging a cloud. Soft and warm and better than anything he had ever imagined.
Kaito’s hands loosened, slipping from the wall as if repelled, drawn instead to something far warmer. His right hand slid over Nanao’s shoulder, snaking around his neck, thumb brushing over the soft angle of his jaw, down to his Adam’s apple—desperate to feel more of him. A low moan vibrated between their lips.
Now that felt like a real reward.
But it was seemingly not enough. Nanao’s hand shot out, grabbing Kaito’s blazer and yanking him closer—if even possible—chests heaving against each other, already begging for oxygen. Not that Kaito cared. He wasn’t about to listen—he could die here and that would be fine.
Nanao had other plans. He nibbled at Kaito’s bottom lip, then pressed gentle hands to his chest, asking all too sweetly for him to step back. Kaito didn’t want to. He was ready to stay here, kissing Nanao forever, feeling those honeyed lips move against his—he might be addicted at this point.
Sadly, his lungs agreed with Nanao. Damn lungs. The moment they parted, he sucked in a sharp breath. A soft, whispered “Nao…” slipped out somewhere between hurried gasps.
Fine. He gave in to his useless body’s demand for air—but he refused to let go. No way. Instead, he leaned in again, doing his best not to look like a lovesick idiot as his right arm snuck around Nanao’s neck, pulling him in, nose buried in his soft, peachy hair. That fruity scent he loved filled his lungs.
His other hand was still on Nanao’s hip. When had that even happened?
Not that it mattered. Nanao didn’t shy away—no, he only nestled closer into Kaito’s chest, as if they were physically bound together. Soft fingertips reached up, brushing through his red hair and playing with the strands. It was almost enough to make Kaito purr, just like Lucy would when he gave her a good scratch.
It all felt… amazing. Everything. And ridiculous. When you start something for the first time, you suck. Kaito knew that. He sucked at kyūdō when he started, too. So if this was the “bad version” of a kiss…?
Nanao’s sly chuckle ripped him out of his thoughts. “Man,” he said, wiggling in Kaito’s arms, clearly ready to step back, “didn’t think my first kiss would be with Kacchan.”
Kaito’s brain short-circuited. “First?…” His arm loosened, just enough for Nanao to slip free—but he barely noticed.
How first?
What first?
His mind reeled back to Sunday. Nanao. On his bed. Soft hair spilled across the mattress. That honey-sweet grin tugging at his lips. It hadn’t been his usual teasing smile—it had felt different.
Kaito had gotten jealous. Had practically accused him. Asked what they even did together. What had he said again? What was Nanao’s answer? “Hmmm~? Done? …Like kissing?”
Kaito’s jaw dropped.
“I wouldn’t kiss someone who can’t even beat me in Kyūdō.”
His red eyes snapped to Nanao’s—so wide they might fall out of his sockets. He had never kissed her? Never done… anything? Did they even go on a real date?
“Took you long enough~.” Nanao stuck his tongue out with a wink, then flashed his classic peace-sign pose. “Merha~!”
With that, he grabbed his bag—and dashed off.
“Wait!” Kaito’s body reacted before his brain caught up. What were they? Fucking kids? Playing tag?
They darted along the walkways, dodging pedestrians and ignoring the scolding from old folks. Rounding a corner close to home, Kaito clicked his tongue before a breathless laugh slipped out. What are we doing?
Nanao must have heard him. “So slow, Kacchan!” he taunted from ahead, daring to throw a cheeky grin over his shoulder.
That little fucker. Kaito lost it right there. He leaned forward, heels digging into the asphalt, anything to propel himself faster. He wasn’t on the athletics team, but he was absolutely going to tackle Nanao to the ground. This time, it wouldn’t take four days to beat his ass.
His breathing synced with the rhythm of his steps. The wind pushed his bangs aside, keeping them out of his face and giving him a clear view of his target. Tap tap tap—another reason why it was a benefit to be taller than Nanao. Long legs did have their perks.
It didn’t take more than a minute.
A high-pitched squeak escaped Nanao when Kaito’s chest collided with his back. They stumbled—almost eating dirt if Kaito hadn’t shifted his weight. One arm snaked around Nanao’s waist on instinct, pulling him close, holding him upright. His other hand scraped along the metal fence before finding his grip. He probably burned his palm in the process—not that he cared much.
While Kaito panted hard from his athletic showcase, Nanao just let his head drop back onto Kaito’s shoulder, laughing—loud and free, like he was having the time of his life.
Somehow, that was all that mattered. The warmth radiating off him. The way his laugh echoed through Kaito’s chest, shaking his whole body along with it.
Too sweet. Too endearing. Too fucking comfortable.
His hand slipped off the fence, only to wrap himself tighter around that soft body—arms brushing over green fabric, nose buried somewhere deep in his hoodie. He didn’t know what he was doing—didn’t know what the right step would be.
It was so wrong. But it felt so right.
“Nanao, I—”
A scuff of shoes on pavement stopped him mid-sentence. A sound that popped his dreamy bubble in an instant and hurled him back into reality.
He was standing there, wrapped around another guy, in the middle of the street.
Panicked red eyes shot up—only to be met by another man’s stare. Maybe mid-sixties. Raised chin. Arms crossed. A stranger by the traffic light ahead, full of judgment for their affectionate display.
Kaito’s whole world froze. Just for a second. Just long enough for ice to crawl up his spine and shatter his soul somewhere between shame and reality.
Then he shoved Nanao away.
“You’re a guy,” he muttered, stuffing his hands back into his pockets, already turning away—ears red.
Nanao didn’t bother. He wasted no time falling back into step beside him. “Worse. I’m your cousin,” he added with that easygoing smile of his. It almost fooled him—almost sounded like Nanao thought nothing of it. No big deal. Doesn’t matter.
Except that nervous edge in his voice said otherwise. It was the same one from earlier—the same one he had used when he asked if Kaito wanted his reward.
Kaito sighed, head drooping together with his shoulders. “That’s fucked up,” he mumbled to himself. His eyes stayed locked on his shoes as they walked side by side—just... somehow... not close enough.
Yes. This should be it. A tiny little slip. The end.
Two guys. Cousins. Even if it wasn’t technically forbidden in their country, it sure as hell wasn’t… normal. It was wrong—wrong on so many levels, he couldn’t even count them. But still… even if society had their pitchforks ready—his gaze flickered sideways. Searching for his favorite color.
Peach.
Nanao was already watching him, just like earlier—just like always. He waited, observed, brows slightly lifted. “You know, Kacchan, we—”
“My bed doesn’t smell like you anymore,” Kaito blurted out, pretty much without thinking.
“Huh?”
Urgh. Dumbass. Guess that was his decision. Blame his sleep-deprived brain. “It’s… bothersome,” he added, trying to sound casual. He always picked fights—so if it had to be with the whole damn world just to keep Nanao close, then so be it.
“I could come over, Kacchan.”
“Damn right,” Kaito muttered, lifting his chin, straightening his shoulders as if a weight had been lifted. “As you should.”
The laugh that slipped from Nanao's lips was small—but relieved. Reassuring. Exactly what he needed in that moment.
“I don’t even know myself, idiot,” Kaito admitted in a small whisper, already feeling that damn blush creeping up his cheeks. Worse, it was probably the softest voice he had ever heard leaving his mouth.
Fuck, Nanao made him weak.
Before he could process that embarrassing revelation, Nanao jumped in front of him—almost enough to send them both crashing into the asphalt again. Under normal circumstances, Kaito would have yelled, or at least raised a eyebrow.
Not this time. Not when Nanao was smiling at him like that. Bright and warm, like the sun itself. Almost too beautiful to look at.
“Then let’s just figure it out together,” he beamed up at him. “Like we always do.”
...Yeah. ...Okay.
Maybe he just rendered Kaito speechless. With a tiny—enormous—chance that his heart just went into retirement.
That idiot really was going to be the death of him.
“It sure as hell won’t be easy.”
Nanao’s grin stretched into pure mischief. “Not if you suck at it like in Kyūdō.”
A growl rumbled in Kaito’s throat. “Nana—”
“Also…” He poked Kaito’s cheek, right under the eye—completely ignoring the murderous intent in his blazing gaze or that Kaito was ready to bite off his finger. “We need to fix your sleep. You look like a panda with those dark circles.”
With a sly wink, Nanao skipped away, hands crossed behind his back, humming a soft tune under his breath.
Kaito stared after him. Jaw locked tight. Two beats of silence.
“NANAO!” he shouted—but stomped after him anyway, with a wide, hopeless grin plastered all over his face.