Chapter Text
"What the fuck is going on?!"
As soon as those words left the mouths of Autumn and Nora, Swann was all giddy. This was exactly the reaction she was hoping for; another twist in the tale concocted by her wild imagination.
The others had no idea what was in store for them. The story was set in stone, but the fight? Well, that was all down to luck. Not even Swann could predict what would happen in the fight. Autumn, Nora, and Kat would have to rely on the luck of the dice and their collective coordination to rid Kat of the mysterious Boowray.
So, how on earth could a bard and a cleric defeat a skilled rogue assassin, possessed by a mystical creature?
It was finally time to find out. Initiative had been rolled, and the turn order had been set. With one final look at each other before the combat began, they wished each other good luck.
"Ok, guys. Are you ready? Gosh, I'm so excited for this! Anything could happen..." Swann said, rubbing her hands together with excitement.
"Before we start, I wanna say: I love you guys so much, especially you, Swann. But also I'm so gonna destroy all of you and then pee on your graves afterwards..."
Yes, Kat really did say that. Autumn shook her head as she stifled her laughter, while Nora simply winked and finger-gunned at Kat. And Swann? She was simply blushing as she put her hands over her heart and mouthed "I love you, too" at Kat.
Pleasantries and threats aside, Swann got into character and began to narrate the beginning of combat.
With a long, worrying look at each other, you fear the only way to rid Kat of her Boowray is to defeat her, but that is a tall order. She is a skilled assassin, and while you have experienced your fair share of violence, they are nothing compared to Maria's. So, Maria, you rolled highest in the turn order and you get to go first... what do you do?
Whilst she was busy thinking about her next action, Swann slipped Kat a note. Just like before, she kept it to herself as she read it, then promptly used a candle to burn it before the others could have a chance to read it themselves.
"Oh, Celkaaaaa! Bet you can't dodge this. Um, oh! I got a rapier? You're so dead. I swipe it in Celka's direction."
She grabs the dice and rolls... a 19. A cackle of evil laughter flows from Kat's mouth as Nora looks at Swann.
"Ok... right. Swann, what does that mean?"
Swann points to Nora's character sheet and singles out the Armor Class.
"See that number there? That's the number she has to match or beat in order to land an attack on you. So, um... it says 13 for you, and she rolled a 19..."
The disgust on Nora's face was plain to see. She braced herself for the worst as Swann instructed Kat to roll the damage.
The mumbling of Swann as she tried to calculate everything that was going on prompted the group to look at her in unison, albeit in a sarcastic manner.
"So, she's within range, that's good... oh, and then the damage is this... and..."
Three sets of eyes were fixated on her as she finished her calculations, and when she looked up, she had a bemused look on her face.
"Wait... why are you all looking at me like that?" she questioned the girls.
"And here we see a wild nerd in her natural habitat, crunching the numbers as three eager lesbians..."
Autumn quickly interjected to remind Nora that she was bisexual, but Nora was having none of it and quickly dismissed her correction.
"As I said, three eager LESBIANS..."
There was no point in arguing with Nora, so Autumn admitted defeat, much to the delight of Nora and Kat. She playfully shook her head as she flapped her arms out in resignation.
Eager to get a move on, Swann carefully steered the group back to the fight at hand as she described the attack from Kat.
Maria takes her rapier and slashes it at you. It cuts through your armour and leaves a sizable slash on your skin. Celka, you take 9 points of piercing damage.
Again, a puzzled Nora looked at Swann for help. She pointed to the character sheet and tapped the Hit Points, which read 28/28. Nora finally realised that she had to subtract 9 points from her total, leaving her at 19 out of 28.
As soon as she finished doing that, she looked at Kat in disgust. And then she looked in disgust again as Swann and Kat high-fived each other with a wry smile on their faces.
"Hang on, Swann. Aren't you meant to be like neutral in this? Why are you high-fiving Kat?"
"Nora, don't worry. She just wanted to high-five me, and you can't leave someone hanging, especially someone you love. It's the law, right, guys?"
All four of them nodded in agreement as she turned to Autumn, who was next up in the turn order.
It's now your turn, Ravina. What do you do?
Autumn carefully studied her character sheet, making note of her equipment and spells, as well as the weapon she was wielding. She looked at Swann and said:
"Well, since she attacked my... dear friend, I'm gonna get her back. I use my um... oh! I use my quarterstaff and whack her over the head. Oh my god, that sounds fun!"
With a careful roll of the dice, she lands... an 18.
Swann looks at her as she has a beaming smile on her face. Even she knew that was a good roll. Kat, on the other hand, was pouting.
Your determination to deliver retribution to Maria succeeds as you confidently land a blow on her.
She instructed Autumn to roll for damage... and lands a 4? Autumn let out a deep sigh as Kat began to mock her for such a low damage number.
"Dude, ow! Oh, the pain! If I don't survive this, tell Swann I love her and she can have all my stuff," Kat said, teasing Autumn over the puny damage she inflicted.
Autumn rolled her eyes as Kat subtracted 4 points from her total of 38, leaving her at 34.
Now it was the turn of the impatient bard Celka Drily, who was eager to get stuck in.
She felt inspired. She had so much swagger and confidence as she knew what she wanted to do to get her own back at Kat. Armed with this incredible buoyancy, she growled at Kat before turning to Swann and saying:
"I whack her over the head with my lute."
Silence filled Fawn's Rest as the group digested what she wanted to do...
...
They all let out a burst of laughter as they realised that she, instead of using actual weapons, decided to whack Kat's character over the head... with a lute. A lute.
"Dude! Of all the things you could've chosen to do, you decide the best thing to do was... that? Oh my god, I'm in stitches!" Autumn said as she playfully pushed Nora.
Nora looked around at the group as if to say, "I said what I said". Eventually, they all realised she was being serious, which prompted Swann to try and stifle her laughter and accommodate Nora's... special request.
"Oh, ok. I um... to be honest, none of us were expecting that. Crap, now I don't know how to do this. Um, I guess we can try and class it as an unarmed strike?" she said, still befuddled by Nora's action.
Against all expectations, you decide to sacrifice your trusted lute in order to whack Maria over the head. Let's see if you manage to even hit her first...
She instructed Nora to roll the dice... and she got a 17+3 So, 20!
"Oh, come on! Cheater," an irritated Kat said as Nora threw up her middle fingers in delight. She rubbed it in even further as she did an elaborate handshake with Autumn, who was equally as delighted for her.
Now came the damage roll. It rolled, and rolled, and rolled... until it landed... on 1.
The smug grin on Nora's face was wiped off in an instant, as Kat rolled on her back in an absolute state of unrivaled laughter. Swann eventually realised that an unarmed strike from a Bard using a lute as a weapon... dealt 1 damage. Period.
Even Swann struggled to keep a straight face as she attempted to narrate what had just happened.
Your overconfidence has unfortunately left you red-faced as you whack Maria over the head, damaging your lute. Maria simply stands there, not flinching at all. Maria, you only take 1 point of bludgeoning damage.
Nora planted her head in her arms and let out a scream, much to the enjoyment of the other girls.
It was time for Kat's second turn. She was ready for round two of stabby, stab, stab as she pointed in the direction of Autumn and said:
"Muhahaha! Now it's your turn, dumb cleric. Prepare to be hit!"
She rolled the dice... and got a 14.
Autumn frowns as she nods to the group that 14 exceeded her Armor Class and hit her. Kat rolled the dice again for damage... and got 12.
Maria's rapier slashes at you, piercing your armour and leaving a pretty sizable wound on your arm. Ravina, you take 12 points of piercing damage.
"Ow! We gotta fight back harder, Celka. Use your actual weapon next time, ok?" an annoyed Autumn said to Nora.
A subtle nod from Swann indicated to Autumn that it was her turn to go. Initially, she thought that another bonk of her quarterstaff would go some way towards turning the tide of battle in her favour. But then she looked at her spells, and quickly said to Swann:
"Wait, wait, wait. It says here I've got a spell called Detect Evil and Good. I can use that! Swann, can I use that on Maria? Like, would it work and show me the Boowray that's controlling her?"
"Good thinking, Autumn! Yes, of course. But it will use up your turn if you decide to cast it, so you can't attack her if you choose to use this spell. You sure about this?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Autumn replied in the affirmative. Swann began to narrate what was about to happen.
You close your eyes as you let out a deep breath to concentrate. You are able to detect that a Boowray, who is a tiny fey, is right next to Maria. It's moving about in a coordinated fashion. As far as you know, there is only one of them in the vicinity.
Autumn pumps her fist as the group high-fives each other, excited at this breakthrough. But that did use up her turn, so it was now Nora's time to shine, albeit with a wounded lute and wounded pride.
However, she finally realised she had a pair of daggers as weapons. She cursed herself for using the lute before saying to Swann:
"Don't worry, guys. I've got daggers now. Hey, Maria! Eat this!" as she dictates to Swann about stabbing Kat's character.
She rolled the dice... and got a 12. The AC was 13...
Unfortunately, your attempt to stab Maria fails as you attempt to make a graze in her armour, which ultimately does not succeed. The Boowray instructs Maria to scoff at your attempt.
"Fuck! Sorry. I tried my best, though," Nora said, begging the group to forgive her.
Once again, Swann slipped a note to Kat. Nora and Autumn didn't even bother to try and intercept it. Kat promptly read and then burned the note. She had a sinister grin on her face, and promptly explained her next move.
"So, this time I attack Nora... again."
A swift roll of the dice gave her... a 14. Nora gently nodded as Kat rolled for damage... and got 11. But she wasn't done. Now the fight was going to get even more difficult. Swann explained to the group...
As soon as another hefty blow landed on Celka, Maria heard a whisper in her ear and attempted to use a bonus action to hide from you. I'm gonna need you guys to roll me a perception check.
The girls each take turns to roll the dice. Nora scoffed as she rolled a meager 7. Autumn looked confident as she rolled a 15. And Kat... she was grinning, for she had to make a stealth check, and rolled a 19. Coupled with her +9 to stealth, she had an unassailable score of 28.
Plot twist! The Boowray instructed Maria to make for cover. And she succeeded. Now she is hidden from you... what do you guys do now?
Autumn scratched her chin as Nora sighed at yet another plot twist. Kat, of course, was revelling in her starring role, despite being on their team.
"Well, now what?" Nora asked Autumn.
"Chill, Celka. It's my turn now, right?"
Swann nodded. Autumn remembered how wounded Nora's character was and decided to heal her.
"So, like, I'm gonna use Cure Wounds and heal Celka if that's ok?"
"Yeah. You gotta roll for it. I'll tell you how," Swann said, as she showed Autumn how to calculate it.
After Swann had helped Autumn calculate how much Nora was going to be healed, she narrated:
The ever-calm Ravina gently touches your wounds. They disappear right before your eyes. She managed to heal you for a total of 18 hit points! Go ahead and add them back to your hit points total, Celka.
Now that Nora was almost back to full health, it was her turn. But... well, Kat was hidden. She pleaded with Swann for more information on Kat.
"Um, hey. How the fuck do we find her? Like hello? She's practically invisible now, right?"
"Au contraire, Nora. All you need to do is make a perception check and beat Maria's total of... oh. Of 28. Crap..."
There was no harm in trying, Nora thought. She knew she would most likely fail, but she wanted to be a team player and at least make an effort. So she rolled the dice... and got a 16. A valiant effort in the eyes of Swann and Autumn.
But Nora was beginning to get irritated.
She thought the fight was stagnating and not moving fast enough.
"Oh my god. When will this end?! I am hungry, touch-starved, and I need a wee. Ugh..."
"I'm so sorry, Nora. But... you never know what Maria will do. All it takes is one wrong move, and you might be able to see her. Just saying..."
How easy it was to convince Nora. And it was now Kat's turn... the one in hiding with a total of 28 to beat in order to reveal her. Fortunately for the party, Kat was impatient, and the lack of action was hurting her. The Boowray sensed her irritability and decided to whisper once again into her ear.
You look around for her, but to no avail. Suddenly, you hear the sound of a weapon being dragged across the stones of the street. Maria has given up her invisibility... but why? She begins to speak to you...
Another note was passed to Kat. They were becoming more frequent, and despite Nora and Autumn's lack of trying to intercept it, they still remained curious as to what Swann was passing her. Was it just love letters to each other? Or was it part of the game?
"How can evil become more evil? How can the chaotic cause more chaos? They irritate, like a mosquito bite. You've all tried so hard to break me, kudos for trying. But-"
Before you even notice it, Maria stood behind you, Celka. She attempts to grapple you! Quick, roll me either a strength or dexterity saving throw!
Nora rolled the dice for a dexterity saving throw... and got a 19!
"Haha! Fuck you, dumbass." Nora excitedly screamed.
Everyone was impressed.
Well, well... how the turntables... crap! I mean, how the tables have turned. Your mighty score of 19 trumps Maria's score of just 6. Somehow, despite being the inferior combatant, you easily fend off her attempts to grapple your head.
Nora was just about to get up and dance awkwardly before Swann ominously held out one finger, signalling to her that there was just one more thing. One more small thing she wanted to tell the group.
"Damn, Swann, you really can't let us win, huh?" Autumn said, still coming down from Nora's unlikely triumph.
"Hey, guys. I bet you really want to know what was written on the notes Swann gave me, don't you?" Kat said, implying she wanted them to query her about it.
Feeling like it was a setup, Nora and Autumn reluctantly asked her about what was written on the notes. And her answer did not disappoint.
Conjuring up a piece of paper seemingly out of thin air, she proudly displayed it to the rest of the girls as it simply read...
Nora stinks.
"Liar! I bet you just wrote that because you're bored, Kat."
Autumn's accusation was partly true, but Kat simply pointed at Nora and said:
"Dude, she hasn't showered in like forever. I can't be the only one who noticed that!"
"Woah. I shower like every day. It's not my fault it's summer, unreasonably hot, and we're all sitting in a cabin with no fan in sight. Anything else you wanna accuse me of?!" a flabbergasted Nora asked of Kat.
Now they were just flipping each other off. Autumn and Swann just looked at each other with a confused expression.
"Hey, Nora. How's your lute?" Kat teased Nora.
"Rude! Um... well... At least... at least I'm not possessed by some stupid fairy!"
Before they had a chance to throw stuff at each other and hurl more insults, Swann the peacekeeper stepped in to, again, steer the party back to the situation at hand.
"Ok, guys. We've got a story to finish, so if we wanna go home, we better finish it soon!"
They were so engrossed in the game that they forgot about the real world. One glance outside and they saw the gorgeous sun setting over Fawn's Rest. They didn't want to return to the real world, though. There was a mysterious enemy to defeat first...
Insults and arguments aside, Swann readied herself and began narrating what was about to happen.
During the tussle with Maria, you manage to push her away, which knocks the Boowray that was attached to her to the ground. Its concentration has been interrupted... and it's no longer invisible!
"Hell yes! Wait, what does it look like? And can we finally attack it?" Autumn queried.
Little did they know what Swann was about to say...
You see before you a mysterious creature. One that has been tormenting you for what feels like forever. Its intimidating looks send shivers down your spine. It-... I'm just joking. A small, human-like female with green skin stands before you. Basically, it's like a fairy...
Did Swann really just describe the tormentuous creature that had plagued the town of Ravensburg and corrupted its citizens as an innocent-looking fairy? Why yes, she did. Because that's exactly what Boowrays are.
She showed the group a drawing she had done of the Boowray. Green skin, yellow eyes as bright as the sun, and what appeared to be green leaves instead of hair?
Nora was immediately starstruck.
"I wanna marry her. Right now. She's mine, guys! Mine, mine, mine! Who cares if she's a little bit evil? I love her so much."
"You do realise we're not doing fighting yet? Come back to reality, Celka. Remember that looks can be deceptive," Autumn begged of Nora.
Reluctantly, Nora put the brakes on trying to marry the Boowray, having been reminded there was still the matter of defeating it and ridding Kat of its corruption.
With the Boowray dazed and no longer concentrating, there's a window of opportunity for you to attack it while it is no longer invisible. What do you do?
"Um... it's my turn, right? So... is it still in possession of my thoughts and actions? Or can I finally attack it?" Kat asked Swann.
"Oh, right. You are not free from it right now, but until its next turn, it cannot whisper any actions into your ear."
Kat was finally ready to shed the skin of chaos and become a team player. She told Swann of her desire to slash at the Boowray with such force. She rolled the dice... and got a 17, which beat the Boowray's Armor Class of 13.
The damage dice was rolled, and the total of 9 seemed perfectly fine for Kat. She looked eagerly over at Swann, who began to describe Kat's actions.
You raise your rapier into the air with a steely determination. With such rage, you attempt to pierce the Boowray's green skin... and it does nothing. Sorry. It's um... it's kind of immune to piercing damage.
Three stern, crossed faces all stared in unison at Swann. How could a tiny little fairy be immune to the types of damage all of their weapons did? How was that fair?! And how on earth were they going to defeat it if all their damage was just negated? What a cruel game this was.
"Shit! Shitty, shit, shit! Hey, Swann... care to explain how we're meant to win?!" an irate Nora asked Swann.
As much as Swann wanted to help them out, she had to restrain herself and remain neutral.
"Um... Autumn, it's your turn now."
Autumn decided to change tack. With her attacks being negated by the Boowray, she turned to her character's spells, and told Swann:
"Well, since my attacks are pretty much useless, I'm gonna cast Message at the Boowray. It says I can whisper a message that only it can hear and reply to? Can I do that, Swann?"
"Yeah, of course, Autumn. Hey, why don't you write down what you wanna say to it on a piece of paper and then pass it to me?"
"Sure thing. Ok, I've got an idea on what I wanna say to the Boowray..."
She carefully writes out her message, making sure to keep it to herself, before she hands it to Swann.
Swann reads the message while taking the time to appreciate Autumn's neat, tidy handwriting. She then began narrating.
Ravina points at the Boowray, who is startled by this. She whispers a pleading message to it. The exact words of the message remain a mystery to everyone but Ravina and the Boowray. Upon hearing your message, it stares at you with an offended look. Your message only furthered its belief in unruly chaos.
"Great..."
"Well, Celka, it's your turn again. The Boowray's turn is after yours. What do you do?"
What could Nora do? A broken lute was of no use. The damage from her daggers would not even hurt the creature. She finally studied her character sheet instead of defaulting to trying to attack it with just weapons.
Then she had a eureka moment. She looked at the few spells her character had learned and found... Vicious Mockery.
That sounded absolutely perfect to her. It would have been ideal for Kat, too, except it appeared to be a spell where you... you simply insult your opponent, and they take psychic damage?
"I cast vicious mockery. Dude, if this lands... you all better cover your ears because I am not gonna hold back!"
"Cool! Well, you know... it still has to hit first. Let me roll the dice and see if the Boowray manages to dodge it..." Swann replied as she prepared to roll the dice...
She simply looked at Nora and said:
"It hits!"
Everyone looked at each other with excitement as they prepared to listen to the insulting monologue Nora was about to say to the Boowray.
"Hey, you! Stupid little fairy. Hands off my friends! You're so small, I could crush you with my bare hands. You're all brain and no brawn. You stink, and you're mean! Let go of Maria or else I'll hunt your kind down and kill them, then poop on their graves!"
Applause broke out, which turned into laughter. Nora briefly stood up to take in the applause, bowing to them, before sitting back down.
Your words take the Boowray by surprise. Even as an agent of chaos, it did not expect to be so personally insulted. It now must take psychic damage.
Swann instructed Nora to roll the dice twice to see the damage dealt... and it landed on 3... and 6.
"That... is that good? It doesn't seem like much," Nora said, appearing dejected so soon after her masterful insults.
With a frown on her face, Swann looked at Nora and simply said:
"It dies."
"Fuck. Off. What the-"
All eyes were on Swann to explain what just happened.
"Guys... it only had 6 hitpoints. That's it."
"Dude... you did it! Oh my god. I'm so proud of you, Celka!" a very proud Autumn said to Nora.
"Yeah, way to go, Nora. You crushed it like the badass you are!" Kat said, with a beaming smile.
Despite appearing to be on the back foot, the group had managed to defeat the Boowray that had corrupted Kat and turned her against her own party. All that was left was for Swann to narrate the events that followed.
You seemed to be outmatched. You were at each other's throats and constantly scuffling with one another. And despite the Boowray's best attempts to destabalise the party and sow the final seed of chaos in the town of Ravensburg, Celka unleashed the greatest weapon of them all: words. As soon as the final word left her mouth, the Boowray dies, leaving behind a few of the leaves that made up its hair. Suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching you...
"I owe you not just an apology, but an endless debt of gratitude."
It was Gus.
Swann explained to the group how Gus had watched the fight go down from behind a table in his tavern. Having been liberated from the Boowray, he felt confident they were all gone.
"Thank you, adventurers. From the bottom of my heart. Please, tell me your names. I wish to thank you personally."
Autumn spoke on behalf of the others and told Gus all of their names.
"I'm Ravina, the little menace to my side is Maria, and the gorgeous girl to my other side is Celka Drily."
But before Swann had a chance to narrate the next event, Kat finally realised something...
"Oh my god, Nora. I finally figured out what your name meant. It's an anagram..."
"Hahahaha! Come on, tell everyone what it means," Nora replied.
"Ugh... fine. Guys, her name is an anagram... of lady licker..."
"Pffffffffft."
And Nora just sat there, with the biggest grin on her face. She had successfully gotten her crude name into the game and was surprised it took them that long to finally figure out its true meaning. Then again, they weren't really focused on it...
With that... mystery out of the way, it was finally time for Swann to wrap up the narrative and narrate the final scenes of the unforgettable first adventure they had in Dungeons & Dragons.
You feel victorious and on top of the world. Gus extends his gratitude personally to each one of you and informs you that you won't ever have to pay for a drink in his tavern. You look at each other with a sense of accomplishment; you feel like you have successfully managed to free Kat from the Boowray and prevent any further damage to the citizens of Ravensburg.
Everyone, apart from Swann, was too busy high-fiving each other and praising one another for their eventual teamwork. For them, they had done it. They felt they had won the game. That is... until Swann started to speak again...
In the midst of your celebrations, you see the citizens of Ravensburg emerge from their barricaded homes. But instead of flowers and gratitude, they were carrying pitchforks, makeshift weapons, and lit torches. There were so many of them that by the time you tried to escape, you were already surrounded.
Autumn, Nora, and Kat's faces were now filled with dread, and their hearts sank. They had celebrated prematurely...
The sky is an ominous dark grey colour. The citizens of Ravensburg have you surrounded. In the moment you declared yourselves the victors, you failed to take into account that there was more than one of the Boowrays. Remember how Kat was drawn to the forest, and you all failed to ask her about that?
"Guys, how the hell did we forget that? We got so caught up in our moment of triumph that we forgot to ask such an important question!" Nora said. Autumn tried to reply to her and offer her some comfort, but couldn't find the right words. Even she was feeling guilty...
"Sorry, guys. I mean, you could've asked her right after Nora defeated the Boowray... um, sorry. I shouldn't get involved," Swann apologetically replied.
The girls desperately wanted to rewind to that conversation and ask Kat about the forest... but it was too late. The damage had already been done...
And for one final time, Swann narrated the ending of their adventure in Ravensburg.
The crowd looks at you with hatred. Their pitchforks in your face, the heat from their torches close to your skin... You look at them, and you see so many Boowrays, each attached to one citizen. Your eyes begin to close as each of your bodies jolts. Three Boowrays attach themselves to each one of you. Before your eyes close for good and fade to black, you hear these final words in your ear...
"Long live the chaos."
The end...