Chapter Text
The following rules have been set forth by Starfleet:
1. I will remember that I am 17, and will not attempt to engage in activities I am not of the legal age to do.
2. Genius is a gift and I will not use it to count cards.
3. I will plot routes so they are the quickest, safest, and most efficient paths to our destinations. Not the most challenging.
4. I will not plot courses so they spell out words.
5. I cannot plot unauthorized pit stops.
6. Sometimes, just because I can do that, does not mean I should.
7. I will not refer to my commanding officers as “Mom and Dad.”
8. I will not claim new planets in the name of Russia.
9. Transporters are not toys and I should not listen to Lt Cdr. Scott when he tells me otherwise.
10. I am not the USS Enterprise mascot.
11. Tribbles are not for throwing.
12. I will not start a “tribble fight.”
13. I will not use tribbles to reenact famous battles from russian history.
14. I will try to use the facilities as quickly as possible when potentially dangerous, highly irritable strangers are aboard the enterprise.
15. Shipwide announcements should not be “Hold on for the ride!”
16. I am to refer to more experienced officers as “Sir,” if they are my superiors, or their rank if they are my inferiors. Not “Grandpa.”
17. Tribbles are not to be given burials in space and I will not commandeer any airlocks to do so.
18. Vodka is not a standard part of away team packs.
19. If medical tells me to drink more water, they do not mean vodka.
20. Rank is not determined by IQ.
21. I will not tell new recruits that the Enterprise can transform into a giant battle space robot to deal with especially large lifeforms.
22. I will not replicate 25 tons of snow so I can show people what a real winter is like in any of the rec rooms.
23. I should not tell away teams going to cold climates that it is good luck to lick metal objects in the snow.
24. Playing tetris during long shifts of duty on the bridge is frowned upon.
25. I am not allowed to have a tribble cover my shift.
26. Even if we are only doing routine work.
27. The difference will be noticed.
28. If the Captain, Lt. Sulu, and I all decide that something would be “awesome” to try, I should not do it.
29. I will not spend on duty time changing the markings on Starfleet products to say ‘Made in Russia.’
30. Even if I was only correcting their obvious misprints.
I hereby swear to abide by the above stated rules in their entirety.
Signed: Ensign Pavel A. Chekov_____________________________________
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The following rules have been set forth by Starfleet:
1. I will get down from there.
I hereby swear to abide by the above stated rules in their entirety.
Signed: Lieutenant Keenser of Royla__________________________________