Chapter Text
“Holloweyes! Holloweyes!”
The cheering of his clan mates to celebrate his warrior name did not comfort the new warrior. He looked down at his paws, ears pinned to his head. After all his work, all his effort, he’d only be remembered as Holloweyes. What a cruel name for a cat who could barely see.
Ever since Holloweyes was a kit, he had trouble focusing on objects in sight. It only got worse when he was an apprentice, and now he could only make out blobs. Not to mention a dark rim had begun to form around the edges of his sight, and with it the rest of his vision darkened; the tom couldn’t even see at night anymore.
Holloweyes was told that his eyes were large and milky, distracting, or weird. His mother must’ve known his fate when he was born, or had some sort of sign from StarClan, because he was given the name ‘Hollow’ at birth. ‘Eyes’ was just the cruel idea of Lionstar, who stood above him proud, like the ceremony was perfect.
Well, it isn’t perfect, Holloweyes thought bitterly. I worked harder than everyone to get here, but Lionstar won’t even acknowledge it!
Holloweyes. His face felt warm with shame. How could this happen? Couldn’t he just be a proper warrior? Why couldn’t he get a normal name like everybody else? His sister was Hollygrin, his friend was Nighttooth, but his name was a joke! It was to make fun of him!
The meeting ended. Holloweyes still sat beneath the high rock, looking down at his paws.
Hollygrin and Nighttooth ran up to him.
”You did it!” Hollygrin chirped, bouncing from paw to paw. “You’re a warrior now! We can—“
Hollygrin got cut off, and that’s when Holloweyes met their gaze. He could barely make out the cats in the dusk lighting, their dark pelts blending in with the shadows.
“It’s not that bad,” Nighttooth promised, forcing hopefulness in his voice, though it just made him sound strained.
”Yeah, your name sounds great, rolls of the tongue,” Hollygrin said.
“I’m sure,” Holloweyes meowed dully, his tail curling over his paws.
Various other cats came up to congratulate Holloweyes. Aldertrot and Mousecall were the first, and then his mentor, Featherfall, greeted him with a tap of her tail.
”You worked hard,” Featherfall assured.
But is it enough? Holloweyes pretended that he didn’t hear Lionstar and Goldenrodleaps doubts from their den when Featherfall told them that he passed his assignment. He was sitting right outside the den, eavesdropping. Sure, he shouldn’t have been there, but he could remember Lionstars words: But is he ready to be a warrior? And of course he was! He was more than ready! He had been an apprentice for too many moons — longer than his littermate and Nighttooth. He worked hard, but what did that mater if no one thought he was ready?
Lionstars displeasure might’ve been enough to feel like the weight of the forest crashed down on him: but it got worse. It always got worse. His mother didn’t even attend the ceremony, and when he would ask about it later she’s going to claim that the kits kept her busy. The kits she never allowed Holloweyes to visit because they’re “still too young”, but Hollygrin plays fox with them almost every day. And his father, Snaptooth, wasn't here to congratulate him either. He might’ve been at the meeting, but he would never talk to his kits.
What’s the point in being a warrior if no cat trusts you can make it?
After the few cats who came up to him were finished, Holloweyes felt… hollow. He was supposed to be happy. That morning he bounced around with his mentor like a kit, bragging to Nighttooth that they could go on patrols together. He would’ve been satisfied if a rock squished him right then and there and sent him to StarClan — even if he never got to know his warrior name — he saw himself make it that far. Now he felt like all his hard work was a rip off. The only reason he was allowed to move forward was because Featherfall would’ve caused a riot. Not because he passed his assignment, not because he did everything he needed to do, but because his mentor fought for his abilities as a warrior. And even that would never be enough.
When the night fell, Holloweyes was left alone in the quarry. His clan mates had gone to their dens and he was left to sit vigil, overlooking the camp. Holloweyes mostly kept his head down, poking at the dirt. He wondered if the other clans would laugh at him when he was presented at the upcoming gathering, his warrior name a window to his worst flaw.
No, he thought to himself. He wasn’t going to be Holloweyes the newest loser-warrior, he was going to be Holloweyes, ThunderClans best warrior. He was going to attend every patrol, catch every prey he stalked, mark all the borders and drive away any intruders. His name would be called to announce that he protected his clan from a ShadowClan trespasser, that he should be celebrated for his bravery. Because Holloweyes was not just a cat losing his sight, he was going to be the best. He had to be the best, and there was nothing that was going to get in his way.
***
Holloweyes was dismissed by Lionstar when the dawn came.
”Get some rest,” the orange tom meowed, his voice deep from sleep. He looked like he was about to return to his den.
Holloweyes nodded, picking up his paws and walking towards the warriors den. But instead of going inside, he rejoined the crowd that was leaving for dawn patrols, and turned back into the clearing.
“Holloweyes?” Nighttooth asked, staring at his friend. ”Shouldn’t you be resting?”
”Not even tired,” Holloweyes meowed, forcing his voice to stay chirpy. “Besides, someone has to hunt all the mice on the territory!”
Nighttooth chuckled awkwardly, but didn’t press the tom any further. The two made their way into the clearing, trailing behind some of the older warriors.
“Mintdream, you can lead a patrol with — Holloweyes, what are you doing here?” Goldenrodleap asked, her voice heavy with annoyance. “I just watched Lionstar dismiss you.”
”I’m here for patrols,” Holloweyes chirped, like it was obvious.
Goldenrodleap sighed heavily, “You already did a task for today. If you want to go on dusk patrols, come back then.”
Holloweyes huffed, annoyed. Though he obeyed and sulked back to his nest, flopping down. He stared at the entrance, then closed his eyes and inhaled. The scents came to him quickly. When his eyes weren’t stuck trying to focus on things they’d never see, he could think clearer. He could smell the whole camp, even traces of herbs from the medicine den. Somewhere beyond his nest, just outside the quarry, was a mouse.
Holloweyes shot up to his paws. This time, he was not keen to follow the other warriors. He waited until Goldenrodleap left on a patrol of her own, and then made his escape. Instead of going to the main entrance, where he was sure some cat would spot him, he crept into the empty apprentice den. He nudged his snout between some bushes and began to leave through a small tunnel that led up to the surface — he and Nighttooth found the tunnel, and some nights they would sneak out to train or run around the forest. Simplair times.
When Holloweyes stepped paws into the forest floor, he closed his eyes once more. He followed the scent of the mouse, staying low. His whiskers brushed against the leaves as he stalked, and his paws were quick. The leaves seemed to quiet themselves just for him, and the bushes melted away to give him an easy trail to follow. The mouse was so still, so close, it was right in front of him. His whiskers tingled in delight, and his nose twitched as he stopped. He waited. He waited until he heard the slight movement of tiny paws. When he opened his eyes, a brown lump was rustling in front of him. Holloweyes sprang. He sprang, landing on the mouse before putting his snout to the creature, snapping its neck with a bite before lifting himself up triumphantly.
“What are you doing here?”
Holloweyes jumped, yelping quietly as he whirled around. Talonstrike, Mintdream, and Aldertrot stared back at him — he could recognize the shapes of their pelt as well as their scent. Mintdream was well, minty. She got in the catmint sometimes. Meanwhile, Aldertrot and Talonstrike both smelled earthy, but Aldertrot was sweeter.
”Uh…” Holloweyes stammered, trying to find a decent excuse. Unfortunately, the mouse was already dead in his jaws. He was caught red-snouted!
“Didn’t Goldenrodleap dismiss you?” Mintdream asked, tilting her head.
”Well — she dismissed me from dawn patrols?” Holloweyes tried, his tail flicking besides him. “And… I’m not technically on a patrol?”
Aldertrot snorted a laugh. “You’re crazy, Holloweyes,” he snickered. Aldertrot was Nighttooths mentor, so Holloweyes knew him well from when they would train together. “Gonna work yourself to death. Were you always like that with Feathertail?”
”Not if you ask her,” Holloweyes said, his voice strained as he tried to keep up with the joking warrior. Aldertrot laughed again, and walked up to him, tapping his tail on Holloweyes’ shoulder.
”Can’t he join us?” Aldertrot asked, looking back at his patrol mates. “He’s already got a mouse.”
”Goldenrodleap was clear that—“
”Goldenrodleap doesn’t need to know,” Aldertrot said, cutting off Mintdream. Aldertrot nudged Holloweyes with his shoulder.
”I’m winkin’ at ya, kit,” Aldertrot said.
”Oh — yeahh,” Holloweyes nodded. He turned back to Mintdream, his eyes wide with anticipation.
“Fine,” Mintdream groaned, her tail flicking. “We’ll take him.”
”Yes!” Aldertrot grinned, he nudged Holloweyes again — who was grinning himself.
“Bury that,” the older warrior reminded. “The mouse, bury it, we’ll come back.”
”Right,” Holloweyes nodded. He began to dig a small hole while the patrol waited for him.
Yes! He thought to himself. I’m doing it! Holloweyes could think of it now: he’d catch… catch a hare! And he’d drag it back to camp in triumph. It will be better than his scrappy mouse!
Once he was done, he got up to follow his patrol mates.
Talonstrike nudged Holloweyes’ shoulders, catching his attention.
”Featherfall brags about you,” she informed. Talonstrikes voice was soothing. She was blunt, yes, but it was in that bluntness that Holloweyes couldn’t hear any traces of hatred or displeasure. Just plain, simple information.
”She does?” Holloweyes asked, blinking.
”Says you’re a good hunter,” Talonstrike confirmed.
Holloweyes’ chest felt warm as Talonstrike spoke. He couldn’t help but grin.
“Oh yeah, he’s great,” Aldertrot confirmed as he walked. “Shame, Holloweyes, that your ceremony was delayed so long.”
Holloweyes knew Aldertrot didn’t mean it like that, but he felt his soul being crushed.
“Right,” he meowed, his tail nervously flicking. “Well — you know I was in the medicine den for a moon.”
”Oh, right,” Talonstrike said, recalling the den. “You were sick for a while.”
”Yeah — but Glorypounce fixed me up fine,” He meowed, walking stiffly. “And Pest,” he added quickly.
Pest scared Holloweyes, if he was being honest. There was something… off about that tom. Holloweyes remembered when the cat first arrived, he had been a kit then and had enough vision to see clear as day: A tortoiseshell tom was bloodsoaked and unconscious, being dragged into camp by Runningfoot and Mousecall, Talonstrike had already run ahead to warn Glorypounce that he was arriving. Pest was a rogue, no older than an apprentice at the time, and the whole left side of his body had been destroyed in a fire. Holloweyes remembered his mother talking about it: there were no fires nearby. There was no smoke in sight. Where Pest had come from was a mystery, and it didn’t help that he rarely left the medicine den. Pest became Glorypounce apprentice, and Holloweyes didn’t see him once unless he went into the medicine den. Nighttooth said that Pest came out when night fell and the camp was empty, that he took fresh kill then and ate it alone in the center of the clearing. The thought sent a shudder down Holloweyes’ spine. When Holloweyes was sick, he couldn’t think clearly. But he remembered Pest looming over him, staring. Not for medical purposes either, just in the middle of the night.
“Right, well, glad you’re doing alright, Holloweyes,” Talonstrike said.
”That was three moons ago,” Aldertrot reminded swiftly. Holloweyes didn’t catch Talonstrikes remark if she gave any.
The cats continued walking, when Mintdream stopped them. Holloweyes lowered his head, his eyes flickering and nose twitching. Mintdream suddenly leaped forward, and a tiny screech could be heard. She popped back up with the scent of blood on her pelt and a small vole in her jaws. Greenleaf is plentiful, Holloweyes thought, his ears purking. I’ll definitely be able to get that hare!
”Good catch!” Aldertrot grinned, coming up to the cat.
The four stopped while Mintdream bent down to bury the prey. Suddenly, Holloweyes nostrils filled with the stench of herbs. It wasn’t just one herb, but multiple meshed together. The kind of stench he remembered from the medicine den.
The bushes began to rustle, and Holloweyes snapped his gaze to them. His eyes were wide and his ears were purked. The rest of the patrol was staring in the same spot, and though Holloweyes didn’t know it, Aldertrot had his claws unsheathed.
A dark figure bursted out of the bushes, his pelt streaked with red.
Talonstrike was the first to run up to him.
”Pest! What happened to you?” Talonstrike asked.
Pest is a tortoiseshell, Holloweyes recalled, but he’s not that red.
The patrol gathered around the tom, who was panting, his head resting under Talonstrikes jaw.
”Glorypounce,” he stammered out. “Glorypounce is dead!”