Chapter Text
A week after the incident, they fly to Los Angeles.
They didn't talk about what happened again. Everything was as before.
Although sometimes Chris would hold his gaze on Matt's lips for too long, hold him by the waist for too long in front of others, squeezing fingers. Sometimes he even managed to sneak his fingertips under the cotton fabric, right to Matt's burning skin.
It was normal for them to check into hotel rooms together. Nick loves privacy and being alone too much.
In fact, for Matt, these moments were some of the best. Just being alone with Chris like this, not in a home environment.
Still, Matt was Matt, shy but gentle. Chris was Chris, just as funny and sweet. No matter what happened between them, they were themselves, best friends and triplet brothers.
When they checked in, they still had time to be in rooms before their friends from here came to pick them up. Matt was unpacking their things in the bathroom when he felt it.
A head on his shoulder, heavy breathing, hands that touched waist, afraid to hug him completely.
Matt stopped what he was doing. The knot in stomach tightened. Goosebumps ran across skin from touch. His hands clenched into fists on the countertop, holding towels.
–I missed you...
Chris's sigh as he spoke the words tickled Matt's hot skin.
A groan almost escaped his lips, from hopelessness and need for younger brother.
Matt's breathing also quickened, his chest rose and fell more intensely.
He swallowed hard.
–But I was next to you all this time
Now Matt understood. Chris had not forgotten, had not thought how disgusting and vile it was. He wanted it as much as Matt did. He also missed him, as Matt missed Chris.
The middle triplet closed eyes, dissolving in these gentle touches that he hadn’t felt on himself for too long. He had been craving this all week.
–Not like that. I want to be alone with you
They hadn’t really been able to be alone this week. The house was always full of people.
They didn’t come to each other at night either, too tired after the day.
And now they were finally alone, no one could come in here. No one could disturb their little cocoon.
Matt turned to face Chris.
Chris raised big eyes to him. Matt saw need, want, longing in them. He knew that he looked the same now. His uncertain movements, gaze, his bitten lip – all this speaks for itself.
Matt puts hands on Chris’s shoulders, pulling him closer. He feels the same warm touches on lower back, more confident now.
Their foreheads are pressed together. They are still the same little boys who are afraid of growing up, afraid of the future. Afraid of losing each other.
Their lips are close to each other again, touching, just tasting.
Matt hasn't felt this for so long. Only now he understands how much he really missed and needed this.
He feels Chris's sweet tongue on tongue again.
However, now they are not drunk, they are completely sane, they understand what is happening and what they are doing.
Chris's arms completely encircle him. The sweet and gentle touch on the lips has turned into a slower and more intimate one.
Chris's tongue perfectly outlines Matt's mouth, but does everything carefully, slowly, exploring every hollow, letting him enjoy the moment.
The middle triplet feels small touches, which send sparks through Matt's body.
Suddenly a knock on the door makes them break away from each other, a little scared. Chris just pecks Matt on the lips a few more times, reluctantly letting go, groaning in displeasure.
The middle triplet chuckles, kisses his neck as an apology, and goes to open the door for Nick.
The day was turning out to be quite difficult.
As mentioned earlier, they were still the same triplet brothers who were fooling around with each other.
However, it was difficult not to linger gaze on those alluring lips, those sparkling eyes and those slender fingers.
Matt was grateful to Chris that he did not pester him too much in front of friends, flirting and talking nonsense.
When it was time for dinner, everyone decided to go to a cafe not far from their hotel.
The place was romantic, subdued lighting, red roses on the tables, the smell of wine in the atmosphere. The table at the end of the room completely closed them off from the outside world.
There were a lot of people, so they had to sit close to each other.
Matt felt Chris's knee pressed against his knee, as if sparks passed through this place. His palms suddenly became wet, although he didn't care about this whole situation. They had been in this position many times.
When the food arrived, Chris's hand found Matt's fingers, trying to touch them. But the youngest triplet, seeing Matt straighten up, clearly embarrassed, quickly pulled hand away.
However, a few seconds later he felt a gentle touch on hand, a light stroking, as a sign of apology.
Matt saw Chris's sweet, shy smile and smiled to himself.
Their fingers played with each other, and then gently stroked, caressed, exploring each knuckle. Then they completely intertwined into a strong lock, not wanting to let go of each other.
There is a trait in younger brother that always made Matt's knees buckle. It consisted in the fact that after every joke, funny moment or just laughter from Chris, the youngest triplet looked at Matt, as if waiting for his reaction, as if his reaction was the most important for Chris. He bit his lip in anticipation, and when Matt finally gave in, chuckling and clearly embarrassed, Chris, smiling widely and laughing loudly, looked away. It was always like this, wherever they were, the youngest triplet looked into exactly the same eyes as his, afraid of getting a denial.
When the evening comes to an end, all their friends go to their homes, and Nick to his room.
It was a terrible heat in the evening, so Matt immediately goes to the shower.
Cool water runs down his body while he enjoys this atmosphere.
He feels a gentle kiss on shoulder. Body trembles from it, and at some point it seems to him that this is all a mirage. However, Matt turns head and sees Chris in front of him. His cheeks are red from embarrassment, his lips are pursed, his eyes are dark and round, grown and damp hair falls beautifully back.
Matt grabs his shoulder, comes closer to his lips. He looks into those vulnerable eyes, asking permission to kiss. They breathe in the same air until they finally touch their lips. The kiss is gentle, water runs down their faces, touching the place where they are connected.
Chris wraps his arms around Matt's waist, pulling him even closer, gently circling all the bones and protrusions.
The middle triplet turns completely to Chris.
They separate from each other for a moment, looking into each other's eyes. Chris is unsure, as if he is afraid that after all this, Matt will still push him away, say that what they are doing is disgusting.
But the middle triplet only smiles sweetly, stroking his waist, encouraging him.
So Chris gives in. He begins to kiss his chin, lingers on neck, sucking on his Adam's apple. He moves to collarbones, licking his nipples, looking into Matt's eyes.
Matt feels full. Every kiss Chris leaves feels like a seal that you want to leave forever, so that everyone can see that it belongs to Chris, and only him. He is incredibly hot, even the fact that the water is cool does not help. And it sparkles so beautifully on Chris's body, flowing down his ridges. The youngest triplet is quite tanned, which turned on Matt even more. But he knows that soon, in winter, Chris's skin will become snow-white, the redness all over his body will be visible even more. From year to year, Matt notices this, and a pleasant warmth spreads in his heart.
His toes curl tighter. Chris kneels, approaching navel and lower. His eyebrows rise in shock when Chris looks at him pleadingly, biting lip. Matt knows what he wants, what he desires so much. So he nods, letting Chris know that everything is okay.
Matt tried to restrain himself, biting lip until it bleeds and squeezing eyes shut. But as soon as he feels a warm hand and a soft tongue on cock, a gentle moan just breaks out of mouth.
Chris licks carefully, exploring each vein, running his tongue along the entire length, and then returning to the head, sucking and pressing on the slit.
The middle triplet knows that this is Chris's first time, they tell each other all the details of their intimate life. And what he is doing now does not fit in head.
In high school, one girl decided to give his a blowjob. She was strange, quite persistent and for some reason Matt agreed. Why it was in the school girls' toilet during recess is unclear. He does not remember the smallest details.
And even though it was the only blowjob in his life, he could safely say that it was the worst thing he had ever felt. It was also her first time, she was completely inexperienced. The girl quickly took off his pants and shoved cock completely into her mouth. Naturally, the gag reflex kicked in within seconds and she choked. Her teeth painfully scraped, as if Matt's cock was some kind of toy. He writhed in pain, and when he realized that it would not bring him any pleasure, much less an orgasm, carefully pushed her away and left. No one gave him a blowjob anymore.
But Chris... He did it so carefully, afraid to hurt him with any touch. Even the way he breathed on cock drove Matt crazy as hell. But Chris also didn't harm himself, didn't take the entire length, but only what he could handle. Slowly jerked off, teased Matt, looking with big eyes, while streams of water flowed down face. The middle triplet stroked Chris' shoulder, a sign of love and gratitude, as if to say that he was doing well. Still, there was a little uncertainty in Chris's eyes.
Goosebumps ran through Matt's body as he felt the fingers on hips tighten. Wanting to leave marks there. He groaned deeply, needy.
After a few minutes, Matt felt the knot of happiness tighten even more, ready to break loose. He took Chris's hand in own, intertwining his fingers, warning him.
Matt watched as white liquid ran down the lips of the youngest triplet, as he licked it off, looking at Matt, expecting praise.
Matt's lip was trembling ready to cry. He fell to knees next to Chris, running hand over his cheek, smiling in gratitude. He kissed him hard, tasting the saliva mixed with his own seed. First he strokes Chris's waist, gently, and then moves on to his crotch. It only took a few presses on the head of his cock and Chris buried himself in Matt's neck, biting, with a loud sob.
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It was a terrible day. His alarm went wrong and he ended up oversleeping. He failed a test which was important. Had a fight with Nick over some stupid thing that didn't matter to him.
They had lacrosse practice that night. It was normal, they had practice at 5p.m every Wednesday.
Matt was pretty short-tempered about things, always remembering his mistakes, going over them over and over, driving himself into a corner.
Everyone saw him fall, the coach scolding him for not doing his job, the tears gathering in the corners of eyes. Everyone saw it, Matt thought someone was laughing. He didn't watch anything for the rest of the practice, struggling with the humiliation.
Their locker room had closed shower stalls with an inconveniently small curtain. When he realized that the last person had left, he carefully crept up to Chris, knocking on the wooden stall.
The youngest triplet opened the curtain, exposing only head. His eyes widened and eyebrows raised.
The whole situation was actually...strange.
Matt's body was sweating from the hot water in the shower, his gaze was uncertain and sad, lips trembled from unshed tears. His palms covered his crotch. He looked at Chris pleadingly, his eyes said it all.
Chris opened the curtain, letting Matt in. His body was burning like a fiery flame, skin was red and hot from the fatigue of training and the water.
The youngest triplet looked at Matt with bewilderment and concern, trying to look into those eyes. Matt's head was down, his hands clenched into tight fists, pressing his nails into the skin, drawing bloody traces.
Chris heard the first sob, which was barely distinguishable because of the running water. Then the second, third, louder. And then a full sob.
Matt's body was shaking, salty tears mixed with the water. His eyes saw nothing.
–Matty...
A gentle familiar whisper was heard through the sound of the shower.
Chris hugged Matt tightly.
He stroked his back, lingering on the vertebra in the form of small tubercles.
Matt's sobbing didn't stop. He grabbed Chris by the back, hugging him tighter and tighter.
This was the first time they found themselves in their little cocoon.
–Shhh... It's okay, I'm with you.
Chris quietly calmed the middle triplet. His hands kept stroking the hot skin, tracing every protrusion, every mole.
Even though their build and height were the same, Matt felt like a little boy in Chris's arms, being comforted after being scolded.
–Why am I incapable of anything?
Matt asked, still sobbing. The fingers on his skin tightened, as if the words were painful to Chris. He felt Chris's heavy breath on skin.
Something more was growing inside Matt, something he couldn't name yet. His heart was simply jumping out of chest, his body was trembling because of Chris's burning, but gentle and comforting touches. He felt the heat in crotch...
Soft breath was felt on his ear, the words that he would never forget were spoken so quietly, tenderly, with love:
–I'm so proud of you, Matt. You do so much, you're great. I couldn't have done it without you.
Chris's praise echoed in Matt's chest, enveloping his fragile heart.
Sobbing slowly subsided, but he pressed himself closer and closer to Chris, wanting to be one with him, for Chris to take him to himself, into very heart.
Now he could smell the soap on Chris's body more clearly: jasmine petals and coconut. But the smell mixed with Chris's sweat, pleasantly letting him know that this was Chris, his playful younger brother. Apparently, he hadn't had time to wash himself properly when Matt disturbed him.
He felt something he had never felt before, towards anyone. It had happened to him before, all his life towards Chris. But now it was bigger, pulsating.
Hot water flowed down their bodies, pleasantly shining, warming the atmosphere between them.
Chris's touch was confident, healing.
He brushed his lips against Matt's head a few times in a sign of love.
They let themselves be enveloped in this moment, just standing and holding each other in the shower stall in the locker room after lacrosse, when it was just the two of them.
–I love you
Matt whispers the words quietly, as if afraid someone might hear.
–I love you too, so much.
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Bright light breaks into the room, since they forgot to close the curtains yesterday.
Matt opens eyes, yawns.
This is the best thing he has ever seen in the morning in life.
Chris's silky hair, which is slightly curled from yesterday's shower, is spread out on the pillow. His palms are pressed under his cheek, his lips are slightly pouty. Eyelashes flutter from a sweet dream. His legs are intertwined with Matt's legs, simultaneously giving and taking away warmth.
Matt remembers exactly the same picture a few years ago, at that very camp. The only thing that has changed is their maturation. Although they are still the same teenagers who have their own fears, but at the same time the same playfulness and carelessness remained.
Matt thinks that he is like this now because there are two people with him who are the same as him. He knows that the three of them are the same, the three of them are afraid of losing each other. Probably if it weren't for Nick and Chris, it's unknown where Matt would be now. He knows that they are the only ones who keep him sane and don't let him completely forget.
When Matt gently strokes Chris's waist, he wakes up. His eyebrows first frown because of the bright light. And then he opens sleepy eyes, which are directed at Matt.
–Good morning
The middle triplet whispers quietly. They look at each other, looking into each other's very souls.
Chris is the first to rise on his elbows and kiss Matt on the cheek, moving closer, grabbing him by the waist.
Matt responds with a kiss on the lips, at first just smacking, but Chris deepens the kiss, licking his lips, and then the tongue of the middle triplet.
Chris throws one leg over Matt, pressing him closer to himself, demanding.
Matt's fingers run down Chris's back, find his ass. He feels a small and pink bud, which is squeezed and pulsates because of Matt's touch. Matt strokes this place, not daring to push further.
Chris moans deeply into the kiss, moves his hand back, right to Matt's palm. Arches his back, lifting his buttocks a little. Presses on Matt's hand, beckoning him to do it.
Matt feels how tight it is, but so nice and warm. He feels these walls.
Chris sobs, rubs against the sheets and Matt's hips. Matt tries to speed up the pace, a few slaps are heard throughout the hotel room.
After a while, the middle triplet strokes Chris's back, it is wet from the intensity. The younger brother's face is red from embarrassment, hiding on Matt's neck.
Matt circles each mole. That very birthmark fascinates him, he caresses it, examines it better, although he has already done this more than one night and morning.
The light kisses continue for another 30 minutes until they get up and begin to prepare for the new day.
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When they got home, Chris had changed completely. He no longer looked at Matt with his soft eyes, instead lowering them to the floor. His hands were no longer on Matt at any time of the day or night. He didn’t tease him, flirt, or make him blush. In fact, he had even stopped climbing into Matt’s bed in the dark of night.
The middle triplet waited for Chris all night, staying awake on purpose to smile at him as a sign of love. But he didn’t come on the first day, or the second, or even the third.
Matt’s heart was breaking. What the hell was going on? What had he done wrong?
Matt would be lying if he said he wasn’t bothered by their intimate relationship. However, right now, the most important thing was their brotherly love. Matt missed the Chris of a few months ago. He missed his laughter, his jokes… the affection from his little brother.
He wanted to talk to Chris. However, he simply avoided him, flatly refusing to make contact. One evening they were alone. Probably a few days earlier they would have run to Matt's room, quietly laughing, caressing each other with touches.
But now they can't even talk to each other.
The kitchen is too quiet for the triplets who constantly bicker with each other. Chris is on the phone, while Matt just stares into space.
The hand of the youngest triplet lies on the table, tapping his fingers. Matt wants to touch, just to try. His hand reaches out, but Chris notices it and quickly pulls it away, hiding it under the table.
It's like a wind between them, a hurricane that doesn't want to pull them closer, only moving them apart.
Matt can't stand it and, turning to Chris, asks:
–What happened, Chris?
At first, the younger brother's eyes seem to want to look at Matt, but he quickly pulls himself away and returns to the phone.
–Nothing happened.
Chris answers dryly. He gets up and heads to his room. Matt follows him.
–No, Chris, you're not talking to me.
–I'm right now.
Chris answers immediately, sighing heavily.
As they reach the room, Matt begins to adopt a rude tone, without even realizing it.
–You've been avoiding me since we flew in from L.A., damn it!
Chris stops, clenching hands into fists. His back is still to Matt, but his chest is heaving, as evidenced by shoulders, which are leaning back.
–I don't want to talk about it.
Matt's world has collapsed. It's as if the flower that was starting to grow inside him was simply cut off without his permission. So he should just forget what's been happening these past few weeks? No... What's been happening for most of his life. All this didn't just happen in a few weeks or even in the last few months. It was always there.
He was definitely angry at Chris. He was hopeless. Pain tore at his heart, as if what had been built up over the years was starting to crumble. As if Chris was simply destroying their brotherly love.
Matt knows that this is not falling in love. He does not feel for Chris the way he felt for Chloe back then. This is something more, something more fragile, tender and dear. He doesn't want to be Chris's lover. He also wants to remain his triplet brother, his best friend.
–So now you don't want to talk about it?! Should I remind you, Chris, who started all this, huh?!
The words flew out of Matt's mouth without even thinking.
Chris turns around abruptly, anger and anxiety written on his face. However, there is something else... Fear, pain. The unknown and... Realization. Matt remembers looking almost exactly like this when he realized that Chris was more than just him, when he realized that there was something in him that he couldn't touch.
–But you didn't push me away, Matt! You didn't say "Chris, stop!" You didn't do anything to stop me! And now you're blaming me?!
Matt's mouth drops open in shock. What Chris said was completely true. He accepted it. He loved it and wanted more and more. And there's no point in blaming Chris for this. It's only his problem.
Chris starts shaking, tears appearing in his eyes, he bites his lip, his fingers clutching his clothes until they bleed.
Matt comes closer to him, wants to pity him, to hug him. However, Chris dodges, tears brushing off the floor, leaving wet spots behind them.
–Don't, Matt. You're only making it worse.
Matt quickly pulls his hand away. He blinks quickly, trying to ignore tears. He leaves Chris standing there, all alone.
It was hard to restrain himself. He wanted to be with Chris under any circumstances, no matter what the youngest triplet said. But in reality, it turns out to be something completely different.
He can't sleep for a long time that night. There are too many thoughts, anxiety begins to creep up on him.
Matt decides to tell Chris everything, no matter what it takes. The youngest triplet must know his true feelings.
He knows that this is a teenager's act. And the fact that he cried for several hours curled up in a ball is also a teenager's act. But to hell with him, let him be a teenager all his life, doing rash things, than regretting and suffering all life.
Matt knocks on Chris's door a few times, and when no one opens the door, he cautiously enters.
His heart starts beating faster when he sees Chris, tearful and disheveled, with his legs tucked under him because of the cold. Because of loneliness. He's shaking all over, his swollen eyes staring at Matt.
–I just want you to know that... I love you. I go crazy every day not to touch you. I want to kiss you every damn hour. I want you to let me love you every minute. My feelings for you are so strong that I'm ready to remain just brothers, to remain who we were a few months ago. And I know that these feelings will never go away, they will be stored in me, in my heart. I want...
Tears were streaming down Matt's face, his nostrils were flaring. He didn't look at Chris, knew that he would most likely see pain and self-loathing there.
However, Chris's hoarse voice interrupts his speech:
–Come here, Matt... Please
Now the middle triplet finally looks up at Chris. He is already sitting, in his eyes... Sparks are sparkling. The same ones that were a week ago, a month, and a year ago. They are back. Matt missed this madly. Chris is still shaking, his toes are curled.
Matt comes up to him, but does not sit down, just stands in front of him. And now he feels these touches again. First, this light stroking on his wrist. And then Chris hugs him tightly, squeezing her fingers on his T-shirt. Matt even staggers a little, almost falling.
He understands. Chris is not leaving him. He feels it too and felt it. He was just afraid that his feelings were not mutual, Chris himself was digging into a hole just so that his realized feelings would not come out along with Matt.
A familiar pulsation begins to appear in Matt's body. He feels the wounds on that very flower begin to heal. Its petals begin to bloom again.
Sits down next to Chris. Takes his face in hands, looks into those eyes. He sees love in them. He sees everything that he himself has.
Matt hugs the youngest triplet tightly, digs fingers into his back. Feels his scent, so familiar and beloved. He feels drops of tears on his shoulder. He gently strokes Chris's back, whispering words of love. He wants him to understand that everything is okay, that he feels it too.
They merge into one, simply calming each other down.
When the two of them calm down, and the dawn is already breaking outside the window, Chris whispers these words:
–I love you so much
Their foreheads touch. What was hidden for years suddenly revealed. Both of them felt this all their lives, just afraid to admit it to themselves and to each other. Matt kisses Chris tenderly, warming him, leaving his marks of love.
–I love you too so much
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The autumn air fills their car, mixing with the scent of candy.
The gas station is quite dark, only the light from the street lamps allows you to see what color each car is.
Matt watches Nick walk past through the side window, needing to pee.
–Take us to McDonald's?
Matt hears Chris's quiet voice, leaning back in his seat, glued to phone.
–No way
It's not clear what Chris was hoping for. It's 3 a.m., and they're all tired.
Chris's gaze falls on Matt, who is still looking out the window, not paying attention to the youngest triplet.
At first Chris admires him, his pink lips, which he now kisses every morning (and every minute, by the way), his eyes, which are tired from a long trip, but still watch everything, his small earrings, which perfectly emphasize all the charm of Matt, his thin fingers, which left a pink mark on Chris's ass...
Matt watches the cars leaving, when he feels a light and quick kiss on his cheek. He turns head and is met again by the touch of lips, an insignificant peck. Matt quietly chuckles at Chris's playful and needy face. His lips are pouty, his eyes like a deer, ready to do anything to be taken to McDonald's.
–Please, Maaaatt...
Chris asks in a drawn-out voice. He looks into the most modest part of Matt's heart, caresses there.
The middle triplet only waves it off, says "no" again and turns to the window. However, Chris's hands stop him, taking by the face and kissing him hard. This is not an innocent kiss anymore. He pushes his tongue, spreading Matt's lips. He runs his hand through his hair, combing it carefully.
Matt is shocked by such determination of the youngest triplet, but still accepts this caress. The kiss deepens into something more intimate. The youngest triplet moves to the neck, running his teeth along it. Chris begins to climb over his seat onto Matt's lap, heavy sighs are heard from both boys.
But Matt stops him in time, squeezing by the waist and pushing him away.
A sad and dissatisfied sound comes from Chris's lips.
–Now Nick will come and I would not really like him to catch us doing this.
A smile instantly appears on Chris's face. His fingers playfully fight with Matt's fingers.
–So if Nick had not been here, then we would have done this?
Matt's big round eyes snap to Chris, his mouth hanging open in shock. He shushes him, and Chris just chuckles.
After a while, Matt looks around and, without Nick nearby, kisses Chris. It's slow, loving. He gently runs his fingers over Chris's bare skin, which still sends sparks through the youngest triplet's body. Chris tightens his grip on Matt's sweater as tongue caresses him, enveloping in warmth.
Matt gives in to Chris, it was impossible to say no to this little boy with the eyes of a deer.
–Okay, I'll take us to McDonald's.
Chris kisses Matt's entire face, screaming exclamations. Their hands are intertwined in a tight lock even when Nick comes and asks:
–Did I miss anything?