Chapter Text
Steve tried to call Eddie that night, hoping he could go over to the trailer, or they could just talk on the phone and clear up the awkwardness from that morning. But when he called, Wayne Munson picked up the phone. "Munson."
"Oh, hi Mr. Munson. It's Steve. May I speak to Eddie?"
"I thought I told you to call me Wayne." He sounded gruff, but not unfriendly. Maybe even a little amused. "He forget another book?"
"Uh sorry, Wayne. No, I just want to talk to him."
"Sure, I'll go get him." The phone was put down and Steve heard faint footsteps. A short while later, Wayne came back. "Sorry Steve, Eddie is… asleep. I'll tell him you called."
"Oh." Steve wasn't sure what to say, he hadn't expected Eddie to give him the cold shoulder like that. "Uhh, yeah. Thank you. Can you ask him to call me back tomorrow?"
"I'll do that. Take care, son."
"Thanks Mr. Mu— uh, Wayne, you too."
Steve sighed deeply after they hung up and flopped back on his bed. Eddie clearly didn't want to talk to him. Because- because Eddie had to sleep in the guest room? It seems like a minor thing compared to the friendship Steve thought they had built over the last few months. Fuck, he had, sort of, quietly hoped they were moving towards more than that. Which was clearly delusional, but still, ending their friendship over something like this seemed... Steve sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes, trying to fight the tears that were building there. It was probably what he should have expected; he was bullshit after all. He knew that. He had just... let himself forget for a moment. Eddie had been so... Eddie, that he had distracted Steve from the fact that he wasn't worth being loved. Being reminded of that hurt. But that wasn't on Eddie, that was on Steve. He shouldn't have let Eddie get so close.
Steve sighed again and shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts and the tears away. He was used to this, it was fine. He just needed- he needed a distraction. There was no point in even trying to go to sleep right now. Instead, he went downstairs, put on some music and decided the living room could use a deep clean. He'd have to clean after Hellfire anyway, they were bound to leave a mess, but at least cleaning now was something to do.
He ended up turning off the music pretty fast because he kept thinking of Eddie and how he would tease him about every song. He tried running a movie in the background, but that was too much like being at work, so he settled on some random game show on TV. He had no idea who any of the people were, but at least the house wasn't quiet.
When the phone rang while Steve was scrubbing the base boards (he had run out of reasonable things to clean way too quickly), he scrambled over to it so quickly that he tripped over the bucket. It spilled a little of its contents, but at least it didn’t fall over.
“Eddie?!” Steve gasped into the phone after he had ripped it off the receiver.
“Uh… no?” Came Max confused answer.
“Oh hi Max. I’m sorry, uh… I left a message for Eddie earlier and I thought he might call me back. You ok?”
“He hasn’t called you back either? I tried him earlier, but he didn’t answer. Do you think something is wrong?”
Steve sighed. Did Eddie want to avoid him so badly that he didn’t answer the phone for anyone, even risking not being there for the kids? “I don’t think so Max. I spoke to Wayne earlier and he said Eddie was sleeping. Maybe he fell asleep with his music turned up loud again and can’t hear the phone.”
“Okay…” Max didn’t sound convinced. “Are you ok? You sound strange.”
“Yeah, uh– I’m fine. I was just… I stubbed my toe on the way to the phone.” It wasn’t even a lie. His foot had gotten caught on the bucket and his toe still complained about it.
Max made a noise that sounded rather disbelieving and Steve figured it was time to shift the conversation. "Are you ok? Why did you call?"
"I… I just couldn't sleep and thought I'd make it Eddie's problem. Do you know how often he woke me up coming home late with that death trap of a van of his?"
Steve laughed though he really didn't believe that was why she had called. "You miss having him as a neighbor?"
"No." Max answered too fast. "I didn't know him back then. He was just this weird guy Lucas and the others couldn't stop talking about. His music made me angry sometimes." Her voice got quiet. "Or sad."
Steve rubbed his face. "Because it reminded you of Billy."
"Yeah."
"I'm sure Eddie would let you borrow some tapes if you wanted to remember Billy that way."
Max chuckled. "Nah, I don't want him to try and covert me to his music. I'll stick to Kate."
Steve smiled softly. "Can't go wrong with her."
They were quiet for a little bit, until Steve spoke again. "Anything else you would like to talk about? Or do you just want to hang out quietly a bit more?"
"No, I think I'll go back to bed. Maybe turn on some music."
"Say hi to Kate for me."
"I will." Steve could hear the grin in her voice. "Good night Steve."
"Night Max, sleep well."
They hung up and Steve mopped up the spilled water before deciding to try and get some sleep as well.
The next day, Steve kept listening for the phone, worried Eddie might cancel Hellfire to avoid him. But when the other members started to arrive, Steve was pretty sure Eddie wouldn't leave them hanging with no warning.
Steve was once again putting the finishing touches on the mountains of food, when Dustin came into the kitchen. “Steve, have you heard from Eddie? He’s late.”
Now Steve really was getting worried. First Eddie didn’t answer the phone for anyone and now he was late for Hellfire? That didn’t seem like Eddie at all.
“No, I uh… I haven’t heard from him since he left here yesterday morning. Max called last night saying Eddie didn’t answer when she tried calling him.”
Dustin frowned. “The doesn’t sound good at all. Do you think we should go look for him?”
Steve was just about to answer when they hear the front door open and Dustin frantically ran towards it.
“Eddie?!”
“Yes, Henderson. Gods. I’m like barely ten minutes late.” Steve heard Eddie’s reply. He followed Dustin at a more reasonable speed and stayed back instead of hugging Eddie like Dustin did.
“We were worried! Steve said that Max said you didn’t answer the phone last night.”
“I– I was just sleeping. I’ll call her tomorrow to apologize.” Steve could hear the lie in Eddie’s voice.
Dustin didn’t seem entirely convinced either. “And why are you late now?”
“Wayne had to go into work early unexpectedly today, so he couldn’t drive me and I had to take my shitty old bike. I underestimated how long that would take. I really need to get my van fixed.”
“You should have just called. Steve would have picked you up.”
“Dustin, you can’t offer Steve’s services like that. He’s not a taxi.” Eddie said with a sigh and Steve had to hide a grin.
“You’re right, but I would have come pick you up.“
Eddie looked at him properly for the first time and gave him an uncharacteristically shy smile. “Thanks.”
“See? Steve would have picked you up. So don’t worry us for stupid reasons and pick up your fucking phone.” Dustin glared at Eddie.
“Language, Henderson.” Steve and Eddie said at the same time, but Dustin only rolled his eyes and turned towards the living room.
“You coming? The others are waiting.”
Eddie followed him while Steve stayed behind, looking after them. He needed to talk to Eddie. One try to fix things had to be permitted right? Sure, it hadn’t worked with Nancy, but maybe it could work with Eddie. And even if it didn’t, he had to at least make sure the fact that he had messed up with Eddie didn’t affect the kids. So after Hellfire, he would talk to Eddie. And then drive him home. Because there was no way he was letting anyone bike home in the dark through the woods. No matter how often El reassured them that the Upside Down was gone for good.
But for now he had hungry dorks to feed and maybe find ways to subtly watch Eddie tell his stories. That truly was a fascinating thing to behold. He just couldn’t ever show even a hint of interest in their nerdy game in front of Dustin or Mike or he would never hear the end of it.
After Steve had offered everyone food and drinks and their game session had properly started, Steve laid down on the couch with his walkman, out of sight from everyone. He didn't play any music though, he didn't even put the headphones on properly, so they wouldn't dampen the sound of Eddie's story telling. He felt a little pathetic, but at least the back of the couch kept him from being able to see everyone around the dining table. He might be listening like a 13 year old with a crush, but he wouldn't stare like one.
Steve must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was woken up by Dustin poking him. "Steve. Wake up, we're finished for tonight and our rides are going to be here any minute."
Steve yawned and sat up. "Oh, great. Did you defeat the monster thing?"
Dustin rolled his eyes. “We didn’t even meet any monsters today. We were mostly just traveling and gathering information. No fights except a couple of way layers and one Org.”
Steve wasn’t entirely sure if that was good or bad, so he just shrugged and got up from the couch. To his surprise, they seemed to have cleaned up already. The table was cleared and there weren't even any crumbs on there.
“You didn’t have to clean up.” Steve said, feeling like he failed in his host duties.
“Eddie made us.” Dustin said with a shrug and when Steve’s eyes snap over to Eddie, he could have sworn Eddie was blushing.
“Just trying to do my part in raising you gremlins. Steve did enough by giving us a place to play and feeding us.”
Now it was Steve's face that was heating up. "It's no problem. Most of the food was leftovers from Saturday anyway."
The doorbell rang and announced that pick up had begun, effectively ending the awkwardness between Eddie and Steve. Everything got a bit chaotic with everyone gathering up their things and saying good bye, but soon the living room emptied. Steve's mind was racing, trying to find a way to make Eddie stay long enough that they could talk, but he couldn't come up with anything.
Eddie stayed put, sitting in the fancy arm chair, he always dragged out of the sitting room for their game. Even when Dustin poked his head back in and said "My mom says we can drive you home, Eddie. Your bike should fit in the trunk", Eddie shook his head.
"Thanks Dustin, but I wanna help Steve clean up."
Dustin frowned and looked around pointedly. "We cleaned up already."
"I still need to put the chair back."
"I can help! Mom can wait a couple more minutes."
"No, it's fine. I dropped one of my dice earlier and I think it rolled under the couch. I still need to look for it. Don't make your mom wait."
"You really shouldn't bike home alone in the dark." Dustin sounded scared and Steve realized that Will biking home alone after one of their game sessions was exactly what had started all of the trauma for the kids.
Eddie was about to reply, when Steve interrupted. "I'll drive him home later, Dustin. I promise."
Eddie looked a little surprised, but Dustin relaxed. "Okay, thanks. I'll uh- I guess I'm going then. Thanks for DnD!" And with that he was out the door.
Steve and Eddie stayed silent until they heard the front door close and Mrs. Henderson's car turn on.
"You don't need to drag the chair back. I don't mind it being here, and it's a hassle to drag it in here every time you play."
"Won't your parents mind?"
"Probably. But that's their problem, not mine and who knows when they'll be back anyway." Steve shrugged. "You need help looking for your dice?"
"I didn't loose any." Steve opened his mouth to ask why he had lied, but Eddie continued. "I- I wanted to talk to you. I hope you don't mind. You don't have to drive me home after either."
"Of course I'm driving you home. First of all Dustin would kill me, and second of all, I don't care how dead Vecna is and how gone the Upside Down, I'm not letting you bike through the woods alone at night."
Eddie's eyes went big and Steve had to look away for just a heartbeat to not get lost in them. "Oh. I didn't even think about that. That's why Dustin was so insistent."
"Yeah. Will was biking home alone after a game when he disappeared."
"Fuck." Eddie rubbed a hand over his face.
They were silent for a moment until Steve asked “Did they really clean up everything? The kitchen isn’t going to look like a bomb went off when I go in there?”
Eddie laughed. “Nah, they cleaned. I didn’t check the fridge though. There might be an avalanche the next time you open it. But all the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher.”
“Thanks.” Steve resisted the urge to go and reorganize the dishwasher in his preferred way. He could do that after Eddie left. He cleared his throat, nervously. "I- uh, I actually wanted to talk to you too."
Eddie cut in before Steve had a chance to continue. "Can I go first?"
Steve kind of wished he could go first, and just get it over with, but obviously he couldn't say that. So he shrugged. "Sure."
Eddie looked nervous. Why did he look nervous? He looked about a second away from jumping up to pace, or maybe even run away. Instead, he fidgeted with his hair, pulling it into his face and then pushing it back again over and over. "Uh… I- I wanted to apologize for the other night. And yesterday morning. And last night."
"What?" Steve tried to interrupt, but Eddie ignored him. "I was an asshole and I let my jealousy get the best of me. I'm really sorry. I hope we can go back to being friends and being there for each other when we can't sleep. Just…" he swallowed, "maybe we shouldn't share a bed anymore. It's... uh- probably better that way."
"What?" Steve was completely confused. He had no idea what Eddie was talking about, he only knew he didn't like whatever conclusion Eddie was coming to. "Eddie… I-" He said he didn't want to share a bed anymore, did Eddie know about Steve's feelings for him and was trying to let him down gently?
Then a realization hit him and "Wait, did you say jealousy? What jealousy?" came out of his mouth without him being able to stop it.
"Yeah, I know. It's stupid. But you acted weird all day, and you and Nancy looked so… domestic going around and asking the kids what they wanted to eat. Almost as if you had those six Harrington nuggets already. And like, you abandoned me to go play house with Nancy the second I tried to flirt a little." Steve wanted to interrupt Eddie and say… something, but his mouth wouldn't work and Eddie raced on. "Later, when it became more and more clear that Nancy and Jonathan are still together, or back together or something, I thought maybe I didn't need to be jealous after all, but then I saw how you looked at them, all wistful and heartbroken and… It didn't feel good. She didn't even know you bake!" Eddie sounded so offended that Steve almost chuckled. "But you sent them into the same bedroom and that was so typical of you and I had this crazy thought maybe I could distract you, but you told me to take the other guest bedroom and I-" Eddie took a breath for what felt like the first time in way too long. "Fuck. It doesn't matter, I'm sorry, ok? I know it's a lot to put on you."
Steve was completely speechless and might have been gaping at Eddie like a fish, trying to process it all.
"I'll… I'll just go." Eddie sounded so defeated. "I'm gonna call when I get home so you know no monster got me, and we can tell Dustin you drove me home."
It took Eddie actually turning towards the door, to break Steve out of his stupor. "What? Eddie! No." He reached out to stop Eddie. "Please don't go. What— what are you saying?"
Eddie didn't turn around, but he stayed where he was, his head hung low. "I think I made that pretty clear. Please don't make me spell it out."
"You said you were jealous of Nancy." Steve frowned, "But Nancy was all over Jonathan. And I, I spend all day trying not to go crazy over you."
"Wait what?" Now Eddie did turn around and Steve was hit with the full force of his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know, I just— I couldn't stop watching you all day. And like, you're pretty much always on my mind. I get lost in your eyes so often, man. It's really not fair."
"Steve, are you… what do you… I thought you were straight."
Steve shrugged helplessly. "I think I may be… I'm… I don't know, Robin calls it, uhm, bisexual?
"Bisexual…" Eddie whispered, looking like a feather could knock him down. "Steve Harrington, bisexual."
"That's why I needed to talk to Robin the other night. I needed her to make sense of it all."
"You weren't being weird because of Nancy?"
Steve stepped a little closer to Eddie. "I was being weird because of you, Eddie. And Robin wasn't even surprised."
"Oh." Eddie leaned in ever so slightly and Steve could have sworn Eddie's eyes darted down to his lips for a split second. "You were weird because of me and I was jealous for no reason?"
Steve nodded and reached out to tug on a strand of Eddie's hair lightly. "I pretended to listen to music during your entire game tonight. There wasn't even a tape in my walkman."
“Why?” Eddie sounded a little breathless.
“Because I like listening to the way you tell stories.”
“You could play with us, you know.”
“Nah, I could never give Dustin and Mike the satisfaction."
Eddie chuckled and Steve felt like to sound vibrated through him. "Valid point, I have to admit that. But can you imagine their faces, if you sat down with us and pulled out a character sheet and a set of dice?"
"Also a very good point. But you won't convince me that easily."
Eddie hummed and leaned ever so slightly closer. "We'll see." They were very similar in hight and yet Eddie somehow managed to look up at Steve. "What did you want to talk about, Stevie?"
Steve swallowed and had to blink a couple of times to focus. "I- I wanted to apologize. I didn't even realize you might have thought we would share my room until I sent you to the guest room and then I wanted to call you back, but I promised Robin we would talk. And I was so… overwhelmed from… from things. I really needed Robin's help to sort through some of them first."
"I could have helped you."
"Uhh— Thanks, but I don't think you could have."
"Because I was part of the things?“
Steve sighed. "Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry about that?"
"Because…, well, because I'm not dealing well with my shit and I'm making it your problem. And Robin's. And that's shitty of me."
All the flirtiness had gone out of Eddie's face and he put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Steve. Sounds like you're having a full blown sexuality crisis, and like, I'm going to try my best to fucking ignore you implied it's at least partly because of me, because I definitely can't be rational if I acknowledge that right now, but that's a really big deal. And scary. I very much made mine a lot of people's problem. Mostly Wayne of course, but he's far from the only one. Dealing with that shit is hard and scary. Especially in a town like Hawkins and especially with everything going on out there. And that's not even counting the Upside Down shit." He took a deep breath. "Fuck, I've made every single ill-advised crush I've had my friend's problem. And I still do."
"You have ill-advised crushes?"
Eddie laughed. "Of course that's what you're focusing on. I'm afraid I have a type. Sadly that type means my crushes are always ill-advised."
"What's your type?"
"Bitchy jocks with great hair who are so far above me in the high school hierarchy." Eddie grinned, the flirtatious glint in his eyes was back and it made Steve feel a little breathless.
"Robin says I have a type too." There wasn't much space left between them, but Steve shifted just a little closer.
"Yeah?"
Steve hummed. "Intense nerds with curly hair and big eyes who are stupidly brave."
"You see, that just sounds like Wheeler to me."
Steve rolled his eyes. "Eddie?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you just shut up and kiss me?"
Eddie's eyes went wide, but before Steve could figure out if it was in surprise or shock, Eddie had closed the gap between them and their lips met.
Any worries of Steve's that he was imagining his feelings for Eddie vanished with their kiss. None of Steve's first kisses had felt like that since his first kiss with Nancy. Steve couldn't help but pull Eddie closer and deepen their kiss.
Later, when they had agreed that Steve wouldn't be driving Eddie home, and instead he would spend the night, they were relaxing in Steve's bed, just languishing in each other's company.
"Steve?" Eddie asked, his head resting on Steve's chest while Steve was playing with a strand of his hair.
"Yeah?"
"When did you start to… to have feelings for me?"
Steve glanced down at Eddie's face and saw a faint blush on his cheeks. "Uhm…"
"Shit sorry, that's such a weird thing to ask. Ignore me." Eddie hid his face agains Steve.
Steve chuckled. "No, it's fine. I just need a minute to think about it. I didn't know it was happening, so it's hard to pinpoint." He was silent for a little while, thinking about it and playing with Eddie's hair. And then, just because he could, he leaned down to kiss Eddie softly.
"Not that I'm not a big fan of that," Eddie said with a wide grin, "but it's not exactly answering my question."
"Your flirting during everything that happened affected me, but I think there was too much going on for it to really spark anything. And when you almost died and then in the hospital, I was too focused on you and surviving and making sure everyone was ok. I was disappointed when you never reached out after you went home, but that was because I sort of hoped we'd become real friends, not just bonded over the Upside Down shit.."
"Sorry, I should have called earlier, it was just…" Eddie trailed off.
"It's ok, you had a lot to deal with. I'm glad you called when it counted."
Eddie smiled. "Yeah, me too. Thanks again for coming over that night."
"Of course." Steve smiled back at Eddie. "That night was probably the first thing that should have clued me in. Seeing you in my hoodie…" he tried to swallow the memory down. "That sure was something."
Eddie laughed. "Yeah? Oh gods, I was so embarrassed when I realized I was wearing that. I couldn't wait to find an excuse to leave the room and take it off."
"I was disappointed when you did."
Now it was Eddie's turn to kiss Steve and Steve returned the kiss gladly and deeply. He was so amazed that he got to do that now.
"When did you start to have feelings for me?" Steve asked, when they had their fill of kissing, for now.
Eddie laughed and hid his face again. "Oh fuck, that's so embarrassing. I told you I annoyed everyone with my ill-advised crushes, right?" Steve nodded. "Yeah well, it was mostly my crush on you. I've basically had a crush on you on and off since you started high school."
Steve gaped at him and Eddie laughed.
"Told you it was embarrassing. And I mean, it was a stupid teenage crush with no future, I never expected anything to come of it obviously. You were clearly straight and would never even be friends with a nerdy freak like me." Eddie sighed and Steve pulled him a little closer to reassure him. "But then you fell from grace and there were all these rumors that you were hanging out with a bunch of nerdy kids. And then the kids joined Hellfire and they couldn't stop talking about you and my crush got so much worse. I couldn't help myself but flirt with you. Which I was entirely sure was a big mistake and that's why I avoided you after I got home from the hospital. But… I found your hoodie in the clothes you all brought me and it was so comfy and I imagined it still smelled a little like you. So I put it on whenever I felt really lonely at night. I just forgot to take it off the night I asked you to come over."
"I'm glad you did. Do you still have it?"
"Yeah, of course. But I haven't worn it in a while."
"Why not?"
"Uhm… I may have borrowed a shirt of yours on occasion. Those actually smell like you, you know?"
Steve laughed out loud and pulled Eddie in for another messy kiss. "Oh that's why I couldn't find my shirt the other week and you forced me to borrow that shirt with the terrifying band logo. Is that also why you left some of yours behind?"
Eddie laughed as well. "Maybe… I didn't think I stood a chance, but I figured making sure I would stay on your mind couldn't hurt."
"Well, you didn't have to leave shirts to achieve that. I haven't been able to get you of my mind for months."
Eddie's smile looked a little like the cat that got the canary. "You can't imagine how nice it is to hear that. I'm still having a really hard time wrapping my head around it." He was interrupted by a yawn. "I can't wait to tell Robin my crush wasn't so hopeless after all tomorrow. She'll be so jealous my crush worked out before hers."
"Wait Robin knew?"
"She knew I had a crush on a straight guy, I never told her who it was. But I think she sort of suspected at some point."
"Well, her crush could work out too, if she finally asked out Vicky properly."
"I know right? I was very convinced her crush was much more realistic than mine."
"You should tell her that tomorrow. But now I think we should sleep. You have school tomorrow"
"Don't remind me." Eddie groaned. "At least I'm definitely almost done this time. A few more weeks."
Steve nodded and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. "Yup. So sleep now and then you can rub your success in Robin's face when we pick her up for school tomorrow."
Eddie grinned and kissed Steve again. "Perfect. Night Steve."
"Night Eddie." Steve held Eddie a little closer and pulled the blanket around them. He was so happy that he could actually fall asleep with Eddie in his arms this time and not just wake up in slightly awkward positions.