Chapter Text
The hospital room was dim now. The chaos of the birth had died down, the babies had calmed (for now), and the nurse had finally stopped giving Tsukasa the side-eye every time he flinched at the word placenta.
Two babies. Not one. Two. Proof that Nene and Tsukasa had, at some point, committed an act punishable by every idol agency clause known to man.
And worst of all? They weren’t even supposed to be dating.
“I’m going to throw up,” Nene said flatly, still lying in the bed, one baby dozing on her chest. “From stress, not hormones.”
Tsukasa stood at the foot of the bed, holding the other twin. “We can’t let anyone know about this. If the agency finds out we’ve been dating—”
“Let alone fucking,” Nene added.
“—they’ll kill us. They’ll actually kill us. And then they’ll replace us with clones. You know they’re working on that tech.”
“They’re not cloning you, Tsukasa. You’d be too much of a liability.”
“What! A liability?!”
“You screamed and fainted twice.”
“Cut me some slack, so much was happening!"
Nene, as an internationally known singer, slash, actress, slash, face of too many beauty brands, was under so many contracts that even sneezing near a tabloid was a PR emergency. And Tsukasa, the golden boy of the musical scene with his perfect smile and tragically stupid brain.
Dating? Forbidden.
Marriage? Career suicide.
Babies?! An actual felony.
They needed help. So they did what any rational couple would do in this moment of absolute panic.
The phone barely rang once before Emu answered with her usual burst of sunshine. “Tsukasa-kun? Are you alright? It's very early.”
“It's not me, it's Nene.”
“Nene-chan?”
“Nene gave birth,” Tsukasa said. “To twins.”
Dead silence on the other end.
“…I’m sorry, what?”
“I said she gave birth!”
“EHH?!!"
A crash. A shuffle. Muffled yelling. And then Rui’s voice, “Did you say twins?” he asked, unnervingly calm.
“Yes,”
“Cryptic pregnancy?” he guessed. “Fascinating. You’re like a real-life medical anomaly.”
“This isn’t a science project!”
“Wait wait wait wait. Back up,” Emu said, breathless. “YOU TWO WERE HAVING SEX???”
“EMUUUUU!”
“I mean, I assumed! But this is, like, the worst time ever, babe. You have that global campaign shoot in two weeks. And that live event in Shibuya!”
“I know!! That’s why I’m calling you!” Nene whisper-shouted. “I need to disappear without anyone knowing I’m post-birth and illegally in love!”
Rui hummed thoughtfully. “Okay. You’ll need a cover story. Emu, get the whiteboard.”
There was an audible click as she pulled it off the wall.
“First idea,” Emu said brightly, “say she’s in the Amazon rainforest studying endangered birds.”
“…Why?”
“Because no one can question it! Birds are sacred! You say ‘rainforest’ and boom! PR-safe exile.”
“I love you, Emu, but that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Awh…”
Tsukasa sighed. “Wait. Can’t we just say she’s really sick? Like a vocal cord infection?”
“Nope,” Rui said. “You used that last year to skip the winter festival tour.”
“Damn it. What about fake injury? Like… she broke her spine.”
“Everyone says that, they'll know it's fake.”
“What if she’s method acting?” Emu gasped. “For a secret role where she plays a tired mother of twins?”
“Why is that good?” Nene whispered.
Tsukasa blinked. “That’s actually… kind of genius.”
“It’s unhinged,” Rui said. “Which makes it perfect. You get sympathy and artistic credit. We just say the role is so intense it requires a full break from public life to stay in character.”
Emu clapped. “Yay! Just wear sunglasses and look exhausted when you return. No one will question it.”
“Wait guys. What about the babies?” Tsukasa asked.
Dead silence again.
“…Right,” Emu said, a bit more unsure now. “The babies.”
“We could say…” Rui paused. “They’re not yours?”
“I’M NOT LETTING RANDOM STRANGERS RAISE MY BABIES, RUI!”
“No no, I meant, say they’re your cousins! Or maybe that you’re babysitting?”
Tsukasa looked offended. “They look exactly like me!”
“Then say you did it with your cousin.”
“THAT’S WORSE!”
The argument spiraled for another ten minutes before Emu finally cut in. “Look,” she said, surprisingly serious now, “you guys can stay at our place. We have the guest wing, and the agency doesn’t track us as hard now that we’re ‘retired’.”
“You’re not retired,” Rui muttered. “We’re just blacklisted.”
“Semantics…”
Nene sighed, but it was one of relief. “Thank you. I just… I need time. To figure this out and to be a mom, I guess."
“We’ve got you,” Emu promised. “Rui will cover you with PR lies, and I’ll baby-proof the house! We'll even use the house with the best cameras.”
“…For security, right?” Nene asked.
Once again, the other line was silent.