Chapter Text
"Young Master, your tea is ready," says Barbatos, walking into the Demon Lord's private study.
Diavolo looks up from his paperwork. "Ah, thank you. So, what do we have today?"
"Something I procured from the human world. A premium Ceylon tea of the finest quality."
"The human world, huh…? I wonder how Claire is doing…"
"Yes, I figured you might say that."
"Did you prepare human world tea because you knew it would make me think of Claire?"
"That did factor into my decision, yes."
"How very cruel of you." Diavolo takes the cup and sighs, turning to look up at his favorite art piece. It's an artistically-angled photograph of Lucifer asleep in his room that's been blown up and put in an ornate frame. Beneath it, on a table, is the disposable camera used to take it, with the note that came attached sitting beside it in a smaller frame.
"Got you something really rare. One of my proudest accomplishments. You are now the second person in the three worlds who knows that this exists, and the only person who has it in any form. Use it wisely. Happy Birthday! -Claire."
"Perhaps I wanted to reminisce about the time we all spent together with you, Young Master," Barbatos continues. "Have you considered that?"
"Ah…" Diavolo smiles and drinks his tea. "In that case, I forgive you."
"It's been quite some time now since Claire went home, and yet everyone still seems to be in low spirits. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes," says Diavolo somberly. "Even Lucifer, and that's not like him."
Barbatos looks hesitant.
"What? Is there something you want to say?"
"It's nothing, really. I was simply thinking that Lucifer and his brothers aren't the only ones who seem unhappy. That perhaps you are as well?"
"I hadn't thought about that. Maybe you're right. But what about you, Barbatos? Are you going to tell me that you're not sad that Luke's gone?"
"I've simply lost my student and novice baking partner, that's all."
"So, in other words, you're SAD, aren't you?"
"I…suppose you could say that, yes…"
— — —
"Mammon," says Levi in the common room at the House of Lamentation. "Give me back my money."
"Well, look who's here!" Mammon gripes. "It's the collection agency!"
Levi blinks. "Excuse me? Why am I suddenly the bad guy here? Wouldn't you say I have a right to expect you to pay back the money you owe me?"
"I TOLD ya, I just need a little more time! How many times do I gotta say it, Levi? I've got a party comin' up with this group of novice witches, okay? And I'm tellin' you, they look like easy marks. I'm gonna hustle them at cards, make a bunch of cash, and then pay you back with plenty of interest!"
"I don't believe you," Levi sighs. "I know how this ends: you're going to end up getting hustled YOURSELF and lose everything you have."
"Hey, how could ya say that, huh? Show some support…"
"Give me back my money."
"I'm tellin' ya, I don't have it right now! Man, don't you ever give up? Even if you held me upside down and shook me, no money would come fallin' out, 'cause I'm broke!"
"Well, in that case…"
Mammon turns around. "Wha?"
Lucifer is looming over the couch. "What do you say we put that to the test, hm? Hang you upside down and see what happens?"
"Uh…"
"MAAAMMOOOONNN?"
"D'AAAAAAH!"
Mammon starts to run, but Lucifer snatches him by the collar and pulls him back. "So you haven't paid your younger brother the money you owe him, and now you're going to go out, play cards, and get yourself FURTHER into debt?"
"HEEEEEELP! SOMEONE HELP!" Mammon shrieks.
On the other side of the room, Satan sighs and closes his book. "I came here hoping for some peace and quiet so I could do some reading."
"Unfortunately for you, Satan, I'm in the middle of something right now," says Lucifer. "This numbskull needs some good, old-fashioned discipline, so I'm providing it to him."
"Be honest. You just want to play with Mammon under the guise of discipline, don't you? I mean, everyone knows he's your favorite, Lucifer."
"Ugh, GROSS!" Mammon exclaims, trying unsuccessfully (or unseriously) to worm his way out of Lucifer's grip.
"What's wrong, Satan? Are you hoping for a little attention yourself?" Lucifer asks. "If you're feeling neglected, you should tell me. Just be honest and say 'I need affection, Lucifer.'"
"It'll be a cold, cold day in the Devildom before you ever hear me say something so gross," says Satan with a small smile.
Asmo bursts into the room. "Oh, this is HORRIBLE! HOOORRIBLE!"
Lucifer sighs. "Now what's the problem?"
Asmo runs up to him and swoons against his side. "You won't believe this, Lucifer! You won't believe how awful Beel is!"
Beel walks in after him with a heavy sigh. "Asmo, this is all a misunderstanding."
"How exactly is this a MISUNDERSTANDING? I went out and bought a very special sweet treat that's only sold in limited quantities. I was planning on posting a picture of it on Devilgram to impress everyone, but then you came along and ate it without asking!"
"Um, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. How about I describe the flavor to you? Though I swallowed it all at once, so I don't remember much…"
"And how exactly is hearing you DESCRIBE THE FLAVOR supposed to help?" Asmo snaps. "Did you not HEAR what I said? The whole point of buying it was to post about it on Devilgram! I was going to take the most beautiful, delicious-looking photo you'd ever seen. Now I can't do that, so it was all for naught! Do you have ANY IDEA how long I had to wait in line to get a chance to buy that?"
In a flash, Asmo springs off the back of the couch and tackles Beel to the ground. Sitting on his chest, he wraps his hands around his neck.
Beel is completely unbothered. "Asmo, choking me isn't going to get you your dessert back."
"Whatever! Just cough it up, Beel!"
Lucifer sighs, hanging his head.
"Unbelievable," Satan groans.
Asmo gives up on strangling Beel and gives a frustrated cry, kneeling on Beel's chest and hugging himself. "Ugh, I've had it! If only Claire were here right now…"
Waiting patiently in Lucifer's grip, Mammon gives a surprised noise.
"Yeah, Claire would probably find a way to fix things," says Levi with a smile. "A really smart way."
Satan snorts. "Either that or they'd start chanting 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' until everyone was having too much fun to be mad."
"Claire," Beel sighs, not bothering to move Asmo off his chest.
Asmo climbs off of his chest of his own volition moments later. "I wonder if Claire is okay…"
Lucifer is silent.
Belphie walks in to find Lucifer holding Mammon off the ground, Beel lying on the floor, Asmo kneeling next to him, Levi doing his best impression of the man emoji, and Satan just kind of sitting there. Nobody's moving or yelling. It's like a tableau.
"Hmm, that's weird," he says.
"What's weird, Belphie?" asks Satan.
"What's going on? It feels strangely somber in here."
"...It's just your imagination," says Satan.
Belphie shoots him a look. "Really? Well, whatever. Anyway, have any of you seen my phone? I must've left it somewhere, and I can't find it now."
"I haven't seen it," says Levi.
"Did you leave it over here?" Lucifer asks. His hands are still full, but he jerks his head over towards the coffee table.
"Hmm, good question." Belphie shuffles to the coffee table and starts moving the junk on it around. "I'm not really sure, but I'm expecting a call soon, so hopefully I'll hear it ringing and find it that way."
"You're expecting a call?" Asmo asks, standing up. "There's someone you're planning on chatting with?"
"Yep. Today's the day Claire calls me."
"Claire," Satan exclaims, eyes widening.
Mammon's head turns. "Did I hear that right?"
"WHAT?" Asmo exclaims. "Oh, I hate you…I HATE you!"
"Why are you the only one who gets a call from Claire?" Beel huffs, sitting up and crossing his arms.
"Well, I guess I rank lower than Belphie as far as Claire is concerned," Levi sighs. "I mean, I should've expected as much."
Lucifer puts Mammon down. "And did you say that TODAY'S THE DAY Claire calls you?"
"You make it sound like a set thing, as if you have been calling each other on a regular basis," says Satan.
"Yeah, we have. Why?" asks Belphie.
"What's with that smug look on your face, huh?" Mammon demands, brushing himself off. "You're makin' me want to wipe it right off of you!"
"I also want to talk to Claire," says Beel.
"Ooh, me too!" Asmo squeals. "I want to hear Claire's voice so baaad!"
From somewhere in the room, a phone starts to ring.