Chapter Text
Emma takes a deep breath before entering the Mayor's office, with a bouquet of red Chrysanthemums in her hand. Today, she finally gathered the courage to ask Regina on a date. She enters the office and is greeted by Regina's secretary Laura.
"Hi Laura, is the Mayor free?" Emma nervously asks.
"Hey Emma, and yes." Laura smiles softly eyeing the bouquet in Emma's hand and cannot but be happy for the Mayor, as she has seen both the stolen glances between Emma and Regina.
Emma also smiles, the nerves obviously plastered on her face. "Here we go." Emma whispers for herself before opening the door to Regina's office.
Regina doesn't look up from her computer, as she knows that the only person who doesn't bother to knock is Emma. Sometimes she thinks how it would be to be with Emma, to kiss her, to simply be with her. But she cannot allow herself to love, or more accurately, she doesn't want Emma to love her because being with Regina is like a curse in itself. And Emma deserves so much better, someone who wasn't an Evil Queen back in the Enchanted Forest. And she also cannot put Emma at risk, because Regina knows that if another monster or villain came into town and wanted to hurt Regina, they would go after Emma. She cannot allow that.
"Regina?" Emma asks. Moving her weight from one foot to another.
Regina looks up and tries as best as she can to hide the shock of seeing Emma with a bouquet in her hand. And Regina is sure what will happen next. I'm so sorry Emma. Regina thinks.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Emma asks with the goofy smile Regina adores so much. Tears start pooling in hazel eyes but Regina quickly gathers herself.
"With you?" Regina chuckles dryly. "Please Emma, why would I go on a date with you?" Regina says and she is not sure who's heart just broke more, hers or Emma's.
Emma looked so hurt and Regina has to remain as stoic as ever, she has to remind herself that what she is doing is for Emma's protection. "Right, umm. I'm sorry Regina." Emma practically runs out of Regina's office, wiping her eyes but the tears don't stop, throwing the bouquet in Laura's trashcan, ignoring the way Laura looks so confused by the state in which Emma got out from the office.
Meanwhile, inside the office Regina lets her face fall between her hand, sobs coming out and a constant stream of tears falling from her eyes.
Had she read the signals wrong? Did all the stolen glances mean nothing at all? Emma practically run all the way to the loft, hoping that her parents wouldn't be there. Emma had thought that her biggest obstacle to being with Regina were going to be her parents, but they turned out to be surprisingly supportive when she told them that the person she loved was Regina. Mary Margaret had even said that she had never seen Regina as happy as she was when she was with Emma. Not even with Daniel.
But now, Emma had not only faced her fear of rejection but had probably ruined her only true friendship. Emma didn't know which hurt worse.
Opening the door to the loft, Emma sees her mother sitting in one of the stools in the kitchen with a hopeful smile which quickly turns into a frown of worry at seeing her daughter's face.
Mary Margaret doesn't waste a moment to engulf Emma in a hug while Emma just lets herself cry. Mary Margaret rubs soothingly her hands on Emma's back.
"What happened?" Mary Margaret carefully asks.
"She said no. Because how could she be with someone like me?" Emma explained between sobs. "Or maybe it was more like how could she be with me?" Emma sniffed and wiped a few tears. "I'm going to my room." Emma was glad that Henry was staying at the mansion, that way she could lock herself up in her room and wonder not for the first time if she had lost just another important person in her life.
Mary Margaret downstairs was fuming with anger. Not only because Regina had hurt her daughter but also because she couldn't understand why Regina refused to be happy, refused to love and be loved in return. She checked the clock but it was already past business hours and she didn't want to go to make a scene where Henry was so she would have to wait for tomorrow to kick some sense into Regina's brain.
Next morning, Emma still hadn't come out of her bedroom and that worried Mary Margaret even more. She had never seen her daughter so broken, and she doubt she felt like this with Neal or with Walsh. Mary Margaret smiled sadly, because she could see how much Emma loved Regina and with a determined face she got out of the loft so Regina didn't destroy her happy ending and that of her daughter.
Regina entered her office, her eyes still puffy from crying herself to sleep. Henry even had asked her what had happened because he could see that she had been crying before getting home. Regina could have sworn she had seen Henry sigh in frustration and was most certain that he knew about her feelings for his other mother. Besides, no one had the power to bring out those kind of feelings and reactions but Henry and Emma.
She now wondered what would she do. Emma would probably hate her or at least all the movie nights would stop as well as their daily lunch. If there was one thing she regretted with all her might, was the fact that she wasn't brave enough to actually pursue her happy ending. Regina was scared, but not because she thought that Emma could possibly break her heart but because she couldn't bare see Emma hurt because of her.
Just as she was starting to go through her paperwork, the door suddenly opened making Regina to jump a little. Entering her office, was a very angry Mary Margaret followed by an apologetic Laura.
"I'm sorry Miss Mills but she ignored me." Laura tried to explain.
"Don't worry Laura. Please close the door on your way out." Regina said and Laura nodded, promptly leaving the office.
"To what do I owe this displeasure Mary Margaret?" Regina asked in her best regal tone, though the puffy red eyes were giving out the whole act.
"How dare you Regina? How dare you hurt my daughter? How dare you be so incredibly selfish?" Mary Margaret firmly said, anger evident in her voice.
"Do you think I wanted that? Do you think that I actually wanted to hurt Emma? And why was it selfish? I'm trying to give Emma a better chance, she deserves someone far better than me." Regina angrily said, tears threatening to spill but she wouldn't cry in front of Mary Margaret.
"To me, it sounds more like you are afraid to be happy. You are afraid to allow yourself to love. If you're worried about Emma, she is a grown up woman, she can make her own choices and believe me, she will never love someone as much as she loves you. Where is the woman I know Regina?" Mary Margaret said more softly but the anger was still clearly present.
Knowing this was a lost battle, Regina took a defeated breath and allowed a few tears to fall. "All I want is for Emma to be happy. I love her so much that the simple thought of her being hurt pains me. But being realistic Mary Margaret, she deserves so much better than a reformed Evil Queen; one day, she will realize that and if by some miracle we were together, I would have to let her go. So really, I'm saving both of us the possibility of a heartbreak." Regina finished and gave a deep sigh.
"You remember that day when you were accused of murdering Archie?" Mary Margaret asked.
"Of course I remember." Regina answered, confused as to why her former enemy would ask her that. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Because Emma was the only one that believed you hadn't kill him. Yeah, then the whole debacle with your mother happened and the dream catcher but she was the only person that believed in you. While you were inside the questioning room, Emma said to David and I that for us you may have been the Evil Queen, but here you were just Regina." Mary Margaret explained, with a soft mile and watching in wonder how Regina's eyes shone with amazement and love for her daughter.
"Do you really believe that she'll still want me? After the way I rejected her?" Regina asked, between hopeful, frightened and nervous; or maybe it was a combination of the three.
"Of course she'll still want you." Mary Margaret said and turned to leave the office.
Before she could exit, she heard Regina saying her name. "Thank you." Regina muttered. Mary Margaret just have her a small smile and walked out of the office.
The very next day, Regina was standing in front of the loft, trying to muster up the courage to knock and ask to see Emma. The worst case scenario, Emma would yell at her to get out and she would be left heartbroken; best case scenario, Emma would give her the time to explain herself. Realistically, she isn't expecting that Emma would still agree to go on a date with her.
On one hand she was holding a bouquet of daffodils. After a few more minutes, she actually knocked and prayed that whatever happen, she wouldn't get to lose Emma from her life. She didn't care if they remained as friends but Emma was the only person that could understand her and was honest with her when she needed it; she can't imagine not having Emma in her life.
David opened the door and for a moment Regina is scared that he will be the overprotective dad he can be. But Regina keeps a straight face.
"Hello David, may I speak to Emma please?" Regina asked in her regal tone, inside however she was a nervous wreck.
"Of course." David said, as if she was not surprised that Regina had shown up. He moved to open completely the door and let Regina walk in.
As he was closing the door, he whispered to Regina. "You better not hurt her again." Regina's lips formed a half-smile. There's the David I know.
"David!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, as she was able to hear what David had whispered to Regina.
David just raised his hands. "What? I don't care if she is our age, I can still be the overprotective dad." Both, Regina and Mary Margaret rolled their eyes.
From the corner of her eye she could see that Mary Margaret was giving her a confident and soft smile, which she appreciated. Regina made her way upstairs, took a deep breath and knocked on the door leading to Emma's room.
"I'm fine, mom." Regina heard Emma's muffled voice but even with the door acting as a barrier, she could still tell that Emma's voice was raspy, probably from the crying. Gods Regina, what have you done?
Regina dared to open the door and thank god it was unlocked and peaked her head inside. She saw Emma curled up in her bed with her baby blanket sniffling, her back turned to the door.
"Not your mom dear." Regina said, softly.
In an instant, Emma turned around to see if she hadn't just imagined that voice. At seeing Regina standing nervously half inside her room, half outside her eyes widened in surprise. "Regina, what are you doing here?" Emma asked.
"Can I come in?" Regina questioned.
Emma, too stunned to say anything else, just nodded and saw how Regina came into her room. If eyes could widen even more, hers would have at seeing Regina with a bouquet in her hand. Regina took a step in and sat on the corner of Emma's bed, eyes cast down to her feet.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened the other day." Regina began hesitantly.
"There's no need Regina, I'm used to it by now." Emma said, and it was true. All the way up to high school she was used to hear from the other kids why they would want to be with an orphan, with a clumsy nerd and many other adjectives. It changed from time to time but the meaning behind it was still very clear: nobody wanted to be with her. Of course, Regina saying it hurt ten times more but really, she should have expected it.
Regina let a few tears fall because she could now see the way she had hurt Emma; any chance of them fixing their relationship had flown out of the window. "I wanted to say sorry because what I said was wrong and was not the truth. I'm so sorry for the way I hurt you but I was trying to keep us both from getting a heartbreak."
Emma huffed. "I think the only one here with a heartbreak is me, so please do me a favor and get out of my room. I don't need any more of your pity." Emma answered and turned her back to Regina.
"I swear Emma, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you the way I did. God Emma, I wanted to say yes to your question more than anything. I was so scared of what would have happen if I had said yes." Regina let a single sob, before taking a deep breath band continue her explanation. "You deserve so much better than a former Evil Queen. And one day you would have realized that and you would have left."
Regina chuckled dryly. "I guess I was more scared for myself." Regina gave a deep sigh. "Anyway, I came here to say that and to see if there was a chance that I could say yes to your question, or maybe just go back to being friends with you because I can't imagine what not having you in my life would be like. But I know that was extremely naïve and I understand if you only wish a co-parenting relationship."
Regina got up from the bed, leaving the Daffodils behind. "I know what I did is unforgivable but I brought a bouquet of Daffodils, they mean 'I'm sorry'. I am sorry, Emma." Regina explained and walked to the door but before completely exiting she added almost in a whisper. "I love you Emma."
"Wait." Regina heard Emma mutter. "You know that if you had given me that explanation before I would have understood, don't you?"
Regina lowered her head in shame, because she did know. She nodded.
"And you know that if you had told me that, I would have told you that I can make my own decisions and that I have always seen you as Regina. So I need you to promise me that you will never hurt me like that again." Emma said firmly.
Regina nodded. "Yes, Emma. I promise. Again, I'm so sorry." Regina promised and walked once more to the door, wondering where their relationship stood. Regina would be thankful if Emma still greeted her everyday. The thoughts of a friendship or something more were now totally out of reach. She wiped a few tears. Villains don't get happy endings. The worst thing for Regina now, was that she was now responsible for it. She should've taken the chance when she could and taken a leap of heart and allowed herself to be happy.
"So, would you like to go on a date with me?" Regina heard Emma asked and almost gave herself a whiplash from the force she turned around.
"What?" Regina stammered. There's no way Emma could have actually asked her that. There should be another explanation of what she heard. Or did she hear that at all?
"I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me?" Emma said once more, her still puffy red from the crying but her goofy smile had returned and Regina wasn't sure if she had by some chance passed out and this all but a cruel dream.
"I-I-I…" Regina stammered. "You're actually asking me? This is not a game or some sort of revenge?" Regina nervously asked.
"Yes, I'm really asking you and no, this is not a joke. You still haven't answered my question." Emma responded.
"Yes, yes. I will go on a date with you." Regina answered while more tears streamed down her face.
Emma finally got up from her bed and moved to engulf Regina in a hug. Between each sob, Emma could listen to Regina alternating between saying 'I'm sorry' and 'Thank you'.
Emma led them to the bed, where the laid down and slept unitl next moring. These two days had been extremely exhausting for both of them and they deserved a rest. Neither of them could remember a time where they had actually slept that peacefully and feeling secure and at home.
Downstairs, Mary Margaret casted a knowing smile towards Emma's room.