Chapter Text
It has been about a week since the incident, and since then you’ve taken quite a few safety precautions to make sure your unmentionables stay safe.
For one, you’ve completely taken over doing the laundry, with full reluctance from Satoru. He begged you not to, claiming that “It’s my favorite, please don’t take this away from me! It’s like- the only chore I actually enjoy doing!”
You think he just likes sniffing your used panties. (and pocketing a few for later)
Secondarily, you’ve placed locks on all of the dresser drawers containing any undergarments of yours.
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit too dramatic, sweetheart?” Suguru had said when he found you drilling holes onto the closet door.
“Psht, if anything I’m being too merciful.” You replied snarkily. “That was a limited edition Victoria's Secret bralette that you tore up! Do you even know how much that thing cost?!”
Not wanting to face your rage, Suguru quickly shut his mouth and handed you some more screws.
“Remember to water the plants in my office while I’m gone, and don’t forget to wash the clothes Utihime left when she was here earlier, alright?” You said as you were already halfway through the door.
“We knowww, you already gave us like, a million reminders.” Satoru whined.
“Right… Sorry, I just haven’t had to leave you two in such a long time I’m-”
Suguru pulled you into his chest and squeezed tightly. “It’s ok, you’re gonna get this mission done, and we’ll have you back in no time.” He said.
Satoru quickly joined in on your group hug and lent you some words of encouragement. “Yea! You’re gonna kick some cursed ass and then when you get back we’ll eat yours in celebrat-” Suguru pinched his arm before he could embarrass you any more.
“Speaking of which,” you pulled yourself out of their embrace “Do not under any circumstances go snooping through my underwear drawer again.”
“Jeez, a guy rips one thong and suddenly his underwear privileges are taken away for life.” Satoru groans, just as a neighbor walks past.
Suguru cringes and offers a forced smile to the passerby.
Looking back at the two you mutter under your breath, “Just don’t get any ideas ok? If I find out you two went poking around in my drawers…” You don’t even need to finish your sentence to have them intimidated.
“Of course we’ll be good! In fact I’ll stay on my best behavior just for you. Now you better get going before Ijichi starts looking for you.” Satoru declares cheerfully.
You give them each a not so quick kiss goodbye, and then you’re off.
As soon as you’re out of sight, Satoru closes the door and scampers off to the bedroom.
Suguru reluctantly follows and sighs when he sees what Satoru is trying to accomplish. “And what do you think you’re doing?” He says, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.
“Trying to get these locks open, duhh.” Satoru replies, trying to fit a bent bobby pin into the keyhole.
Suguru pinches the bridge of his nose. “It hasn’t even been five minutes since she left and you’re already trying to get us in trouble.”
Satoru tosses the bobby pin aside and rolls onto his back dramatically. “You don’t understand! I’ve been going through withdrawals! She doesn’t even let me do the laundry anymore, how am I supposed to function!” He hides his face in his hands and goes on. “Now she’s going to be gone for a whole week and I’ll have nothing to remember her scent by!”
Suguru's face twisted into a displeased expression. It had been forever since the three of you had been separated for more than a day, and a whole week without even your scent did not sound pleasant.
“Alright.” He said apprehensively.
Satoru pauses his little temper tantrum on the floor to look up at him. “What?”
“Let’s do it. Let’s try to get into this stupid dresser. It’s just a couple screws and a lock. How hard could it be?”
Apparently it was an impossible task. The two of them had been on the floor of your shared bedroom for the past four hours, trying to pick the stupid lock that was blocking them from their prize.
“Ugh Satoru, let's just give up already. It’s clearly pointless.” Suguru moaned.
Not willing to give up just yet, Satoru offered another suggestion; “I could always hollow purple it?”
Suguru tensed, and gave him the meanest glare he could. “No. Absolutely not. We’d for sure be caught, and everything inside would probably turn to dust anyway.” He rubbed his eyes. “I do really miss her though…”
“It hasn’t even been a full day.” Satoru grumbled, flopping onto Suguru's chest.
Suguru huffed under his weight. “We’re pathetic…”
“Useless fools who can’t even pry a dresser open.”
Satoru sighed and sat up. “Well I guess I can at least take over laundry for the week she’s gone.” He said as he moved towards the hamper in the corner. “I’ll just get these washed and-”
Something pink and soft at the top of the hamper had caught his eye. Could it be…
“Satoru? What are you staring at?” Suguru questioned.
Satoru pulled out what happened to be a pair of pink cotton panties. He held them in front of his face like they were the holiest of treasures.
“Is that-”
“It is…” Satoru uttered, stars shining in his eyes.
His victory was quickly cut short when Suguru came rushing at him. “Hand them over!” He yelled as he tackled Satoru to the ground. “No way! I found them first, hands off!”
“I’m the one who helped you try to get this dumb thing open! The least you could do is let me see them first!”
Satoru held the pair of panties to his chest as he tried to crawl away from Suguru. “Absolutely not! You wouldn’t have even gotten the idea if it wasn’t for me!”
The next several minutes were spent with them wrestling all around the bedroom, trying to snatch the panties out of the other's hands, when they suddenly received a text from you.
From Y/N
Hey loves! Remember to wash Utahimes clothes and set them outside the door! She’ll be over tomorrow morning to pick them up! Love you <3
They both let go of the panties instantly, as if they might get burned if they held them any longer.
“Oh god…”
“Are those-”
They looked at each other, pure disgust on their faces and then they bolted to the bathroom.
“Out of the way!” Satoru shrieked.
“No! You move! I need to wash myself!” Suguru yelped, elbowing Satoru in the ribs as he tried to remove his shirt. “Weren’t you the one who was so eager to find them anyway?!”
Satoru grabbed Suguru by his messy bun and yanked him backwards. “That was before I knew they were Utihimes!” he screeched.
You chuckled to yourself as you watched them fight through your phone. It’s what they get for being perverts.