Chapter Text
At this point, it was known to everyone that the energy between Euijoo and Nicholas was intense. The awkwardness between the two spread out to the members, leaking between crevices and oozing beneath doors.
It was infuriating. The way the room would go quiet when Nicholas entered the room, avoiding eye contact with him, and overall building up the tension between everyone.
He knows without a doubt, everyone must be doing the same with Euijoo too.
Earlier, all Nicholas tried to do was get some water. Stay hydrated and all that. When he walked into the living room on the way, everyone—of course—got silent again, like it’s been for the past two weeks.
Taki noticed first, smile dropping immediately and Maki looked over, flashed an awkward smile and tried to lead everyone else to move on. Harua, who’s usually bouncing off the energy of the others, seemed to not know how to act anymore, going still.
Yuma tried to play it off as nothing too, but it was obvious to Nicholas how he really felt. Awkward, like walking on egg shells.
It’s not like Euijoo and Nicholas have ever been petty while talking with the others. It just happens to feel like nothing is right during stuff like this between them. Like the world is off kilter. Like the sun and the moon are on the same side of the globe.
Nicholas can tell. He feels off with everything too, which makes it all the more difficult to stay away from Euijoo. To apologize and take it back. He has to do this though. He has to put a wall between them. For the present and future of their team.
“Luné thinks there’s a fight,” Maki says.
Nicholas and Maki have been sitting in Maki, Yuma, and Jo’s shared room. They weren’t doing anything necessarily interesting, just on their phones.
“There is a fight,” Nicholas points out, trying to sound casual, but he can hear how his voice gets quieter at the end.”They’re not wrong.”
Out of his peripheral vision, Nicholas sees Maki put his phone down and turns his head towards him.
“Not a fight, things are just intense.”
Nicholas risks a glance at Maki, meeting his eyes for just a second before looking down at his phone.
“It’s just a marker.”
“And I was already using it.”
“Well I meant to ask you if I could use it
after
you were done.”
“Then say that next time.”
Euijoo stops, lowering his hand to rest on the table to look at Nicholas on the left of him. His fist is clenched in anger from the argument.
Harua and Jo glances at each other awkwardly. They hadn’t thought through how it would go when they invited a few members to draw with them.
“What is your problem,” Euijoo vocalizes. “I just asked to use that marker. Whether or not I meant to word it like that, you could’ve said I could use it after you.”
“That’s enough.”
Fuma speaks up without lifting his head, attempting to stop their silly argument as he colors in a leaf with some green. As a result, Nicholas puts the cap on the marker, tosses it to Euijoo, and stands up to leave.
“There. Happy now?”
“Nico, seriously?” The usage of the nickname now only served to piss Nicholas off more. When Nicholas looks back, Euijoo is twisted to keep looking at him. He looks just about as mad as Nicholas feels. “It’s never that serious.”
“Whatever, just leave me alone, Euijoo.”
Nicholas barely got his shoes on all the way when he left through the front door. He fast-walked all the way to the Hybe building.
About two hours later, Nicholas was in the dance practice room, using his anger as his energy, pushing his body to exhaustion like normal. It seemed to be a ritual by this point.
Which, Nicholas supposes, is why Euijoo is here now. He can’t seem to catch a break.
It catches Nicholas off guard, that Euijoo is just there at first. Waiting for him to finish dancing to the song currently playing. He stands there with his hands in his pockets.
On the last chorus of the song, Nicholas stops, breath heaving and hands on his hips as he turns around.
“What do you want?” Nicholas confronts him. “Why are you here?”
“I’m so tired of this, Nicholas.” Euijoo answers, surprisingly honest right off the bat. “Whatever happened. However you’ve been feeling. You’re letting it get in between us like we don’t know how to handle it.”
“That’s because I don’t know how to handle it!”
Now, Nicholas’s heart is beating faster, faster than just a second ago when he was dancing. This time, his head feels heavy and his brain is fogging up.
“What’s going on?” Euijoo asks simply. As if it’s so easy to let out what he’s been keeping in, pushing down, burying deep inside. “Is it about cuddling and kissing? If you were uncomfortable you could’ve told me sooner.”
“Juju, that’s not it,” Nicholas puts his head in his hands, trying to hold himself together. “You know that’s not it. You know.”
“I don’t,” Euijoo points out. “How am I supposed to know if you won't tell me?”
“You like me! More than a friend, and you know it.”
Euijoo pauses, then takes a few steps forward. Like he holds the secrets of the universe. Like he knows all the answers. He’s so confident, and Nicholas feels so, so lost and confused.
“And what about you?” Euijoo pokes and prods. “How do you feel about it?”
Nicholas looks up. Euijoo is closer than he expected.
“I like you too.” Nicholas finally admits. “And I’m scared.”
Euijoo tilts his head in confusion, and finally, Nicholas can tell Euijoo is freaking out just as much as he is. Can see the way his chest is heaving too. Can see the panic in his eyes.
“You know what it’s like for people like us in the industry. If we’re found out. People are already suspicious. It was not smart of us to do this.”
“I’m scared too, Nico. But I’m tired of letting it get a hold of me.”
Euijoo sighs, looking behind Nicholas before he looks back into his eyes.
“I don’t care anymore. I want you.”
For the first time, Nicholas feels like he understands. He understands what Euijoo must have gone through to reach this. All his overthinking he must have had to experience. The times Euijoo had been awake in bed, kept conscious because of racing thoughts just like Nicholas had.
The times Euijoo got tired of overthinking, deciding to think of ‘why not?’.
“And I may have been a little selfish to request for you to be free like you’ve always been, and want me too.”
Euijoo’s words crashed into him, and Nicholas finally, finally gets it.
Without hesitance, Nicholas brought Euijoo into a crushing embrace.
“I’m so sorry, Juju.” Tears fell down his face, dropped onto Euijoo’s clothed shoulder. “I’ve been so caught up in how I felt about everything that I forgot you’ve probably thought the same things.”
Euijoo quickly dropped his head to rest his chin on Nicholas’s shoulder, hugging him tighter.
“It’ll be alright, Nico. We’ll be alright.”
Back at the dorms, Taki, Maki, and Kei were in the kitchen cooking dinner, with Taki set as designated dumplings chef. Harua, Fuma, Yuma, and Jo were sitting in the living room, tidying up and then later on doing their own thing.
Nicholas and Euijoo walked into the front door looking a lot happier than they did leaving.
When Kei saw them, he set down the wooden spoon in his hand.
“Where have you two been? You weren’t chronically practicing again were you, Nico?”
Nicholas sighed, and Euijoo laughed beside him.
“He was, but I took care of it.”
Nicholas smiles awkwardly at everyone. He realizes they must’ve been so worried about him.
His eyes meet Maki’s, who smiles and nods at him approvingly.
“Leave some food for us for later? We’re gonna go unwind.”
“You got it,” Kei responds, lifting the wooden spoon again and getting back to cooking.
As Euijoo grabs Nicholas by the hand, he knows that everything will only get better now.
He doesn’t care about what Luné thinks anymore. They can say what they want. All Nicholas knows is now he’s happy where he’s at, and who he’s with.
Besides, now he gets to have Euijoo. His chest warms up at that thought, and when they get to the room, he quickly drags Euijoo onto the bed to cuddle.
With that, most of Nicholas’s worries dissipated, and any that stuck could be talked about now. Deciphered.
They’ll be alright.