Chapter Text
Heartbreak is weird when no one knew you were in love in the first place.
There was no public breakup. No “sources close to the couple” or dramatic unfollowings. Because, officially, we weren’t a couple. Not yet. Not really. Just… a maybe.
The worst part? I couldn’t even say his name. Not in interviews. Not even in my songs. So when I wrote that one the one that spilled everything I didn’t have the courage to say out loud, I gave it a different name.
“Ghosts.”
Three minutes and forty-one seconds of a heartbreak song. It was raw, and actually, I kinda hesitated to publish it, but somehow my label loved it the first time they heard the demo, and the song immediately made it to the album and became the song that went viral. People called it haunting. Raw. Jealous.
They weren’t wrong.
The song climbed the charts faster than anything I’d ever written. Fans went wild trying to guess who it was about. I said nothing. Well obviously because there is no way i could tell world that this song was about a boy who never mine but he is also my best friend and i kinda stuck in friend-zonerelationship that only happened in my head because in his POV I’m only his little sister or a sister of his bestfriend ugh it is looks so pathetic when you put it together like that but can you blame me?
***
And then… suddenly, it was winter. I wasn’t ready.
The air had turned sharp, the skies low and heavy. The world was moving on, and so was the group. Claire, Nikolai, Sofia, Jack. Our annual ski trip was happening whether I was emotionally stable or not.
“Come on, you’ll feel better when you see the mountains,” Jack texted.
“And the cocoa. Don’t forget the cocoa.”
So I packed. Oversized sweaters, sunglasses, and emotional baggage contain just my headphones and MIDI.
I took the earliest slot I could secure out of London with my father’s help, grabbed my headphones, and tried not to think about the last time I saw him.
***
I knew something was wrong the moment I landed.
There were already texts piling up from our group chat and some coming from Jack privately.
CLAIRE: Might be late. Storm’s moving in fast. Waiting it out in Milan for now.
SOFIA: Private plane grounded. Can’t fly into Geneva until Saturday. Tell Jack to stop complaining. 🙄
JACK: You better not be alone in that cabin with HIM or I will riot.
JACK: Book a hotel or smth somewhere away from the cabin
JACK : Send me the address, so when the storm is over I’ll pick u up k
JACK : Answer me when u read this.
Too late.
By the time I got to the lodge, the first flakes had already started falling. By dinner, it was a whiteout. Local news said it would last through the weekend, roads closed, avalanche warning, visibility near zero.
In other words: We were snowed in. Just me. And him.
ALONE???
Ok, now the panic starts to kick in. WAIT. That’s impossible. Alex will not go anywhere more than 3ft away from Agatha. So does that mean I’m gonna get stuck with those love-birds? Oh God, kill me.
“Amanda?”
I froze.
He stepped out of the kitchen like this wasn’t a surprise at all. Like I wasn’t caught completely off-guard. His hair was a little longer, scruffier than usual. He looked more grown-up. Or maybe I just hadn’t seen him without her in months.
“Hey,” I said, slowly.
“Didn’t think you'd actually come,” he replied, leaning on the counter like this wasn’t emotionally loaded at all.
“Yeah, well.” I shrugged. “Needed the snow.”
“Same.”
Wait, I didn't see Agatha's presence nor felt her presence It's not like I'm becoming a shaman or something, but at least I will see two shoes in the rack. But no, I only saw his shoes and mine. I wanted to ask where she was. Why was he alone? But I didn’t. And he didn’t offer it either. Just like Alex left the most important part unsaid, like it wasn’t worth the breath.
***
That night, we barely talked. We cooked pasta together, played music we used to love, even watched part of a movie before the fire started to die out. It was almost… normal. Until he dropped it.
“I broke up. Agatha and I have already broken up by the way.”
I blinked. “Oh?”
“It wasn’t serious.” He poured himself another glass of wine, casually. “She was… a distraction.”
“A distraction,” I repeated.
He nodded like it was obvious. “You know how it is. Pretty face. Bad timing. Too many expectations from my family because you know, after all, I’m gonna be king in the future, and my parents expect me to find someone who is at least not so low in rank.”
I didn’t respond.
Because I had been a distraction once too — or so I thought.
And the way he said it like Agatha had just been a passing hobby, made something twist in my stomach.
But I smiled anyway. Because that’s what you do when you’ve been replaced, then re-invited. You pretend it doesn’t sting.
***
We sat by the fire in silence, the snowstorm tapping against the windows, the only sound that kept this room loud because the firewood's crackling, or the movie sound was definitely not helping. This room felt too quiet. I tucked my knees under the blanket and tried to keep my focus on the movie playing in the background. It wasn’t working.
“That song,” Alex said finally. “The one that went viral.”
I didn’t move.
“Ghosts,” he said, like he wanted to make sure I knew he knew the title. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
My heart dropped. I was hoping we wouldn’t talk about it. That he’d just let it stay an unspoken truth, like all the other things, or even better, I just hope he never notices, like what is his business listening to my song anyway? Don't you have something better to do, sir?
“I mean…” I gave a little laugh. “Would it matter?”
“It would to me,” he said.
I looked at him. He was watching me carefully, jaw tense, eyes soft. The kind of look that made it hard to breathe.
“It’s fine,” I muttered. “I get it. You didn’t owe me anything.”
“Don’t do that.” His voice was low. “Don’t make it sound like it didn’t mean something.”
“Alex-”
“Because it did,” he cut in. “It always did.”
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, firelight flickering against the sharp edges of his face. He wasn’t smiling now.
“You think I didn’t notice you?” he said. “Amanda, it’s always been you.”
My chest tightened. “You were with her.”
“Because I was stupid. And scared. And trying to convince myself that you were better off as a friend than it would ruin everything if I… if I crossed that line.”
I swallowed hard.
“But it was never just friendship,” he said. “You and I — that was never what it was. I just took too long to admit it.” The silence that followed was loud. Heavy.
“You didn’t text me,” I said quietly. “After the song came out.”
“Because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to make it worse.”
“You didn’t even say anything.”
“I’m saying it now,” he said, voice rough. “I see you, Amanda. I’ve always seen you.”
***
I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve said we were better off like this, emotionally tangled but physically separate. I should’ve said that a two-day snowstorm wasn’t a good enough reason to pretend we were something. But then he reached across the couch and touched my hand. And I didn’t pull away. I don’t know what shifted first.
Maybe it was the way he said my name like it had weight again. Or maybe it was the way his hand wrapped around mine, warm, steady, like a promise he hadn’t made out loud yet. My breath caught in my throat. He leaned closer, the space between us folding like a page being turned.
“Tell me to stop,” Alex whispered.
My pulse jumped. His voice was barely audible, but it hit me like thunder.
“Tell me to stop,” he repeated, “and I will.”
He was so close now I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, the way his throat moved when he swallowed. Everything inside me was screaming this was a bad idea, that he’d hurt me.
But I didn’t move.I didn’t blink. I didn’t say a word. And that silence… was permission.
He kissed me like he already regretted waiting this long.
There was nothing hesitant in the way his hands found my waist, pulling me into his lap, or the way his lips moved like they remembered me from a life we hadn’t lived yet. Like he was trying to make up for all the things he should’ve done sooner. I kissed him back like I was afraid he’d disappear. And maybe I was.
Because this felt too much like a dream.
Too warm.
Too sudden.
Too wanted.
The fire cracked behind us as his hands ran up the back of my sweater, fingertips grazing my skin. It is so messy. My breath hitched when he pulled me closer, bodies pressed together. God, am I dreaming? Am I hallucinating? Whatever that is, if it is not real, I hope I never woke up.
We didn’t make it to the guest bedroom. The floor near the fireplace was littered with throw pillows, and that’s where we stayed tangled, messy, breathless. His hoodie came off first. Then mine. Then the rest. The storm outside roared louder.
But inside…Inside it was a quiet kind of chaos.
***
He held me after. Like it meant something. Like I meant something. My head rested on his chest, his hand tracing lazy lines down my back.
“That song,” he said softly. “It broke me.”
I didn’t answer.
Because if I did, I’d tell him I wrote another one. One I never released. The one where he doesn’t come back.
***
We never talked about what happened. Not in words, anyway. But our bodies had a conversation we couldn’t seem to stop. It was reckless, greedy, and addictive — like every second apart felt like a lifetime we needed to make up for. We barely made it to the bed. And when the fire burned low, we lit a new one. Again. And again.
At one point, I think we laughed about something dumb, I don’t even remember what, and he kissed the sound right out of me. The next thing I knew, we were tangled in the sheets like the world outside didn’t exist.
***
The next morning, I woke up in nothing but his oversized hoodie. It smelled like pine and his cologne. My legs were bare, and the hardwood floors were freezing, but I still padded into the kitchen, humming to myself. I stirred hot cocoa in a mug with a cinnamon stick, feeling... light. Maybe even happy. That’s rare for me.
“You look unfairly good in that,” a familiar voice murmured behind me. I jumped as Alex’s arms slid around my waist. He buried his face in my neck, warm and sleepy, like we did this every day.
“Good morning,” I said, smiling into my mug.
“More like best morning.” He spun me around and kissed me slowly, all soft lips and half-lidded eyes, like he didn’t want to let go. My fingers curled into the back of his messy curls.
“Want to enjoy the jacuzzi before the others get here?” he whispered, lips brushing my neck.
***
Ten minutes later, we were submerged in steaming bubbles under a sky still heavy with snow. My head rested against his chest. His hand lazily drew circles on my thight. It should’ve been awkward.But it wasn’t. It felt like our own little world until….
“HELLO?” a voice shouted in the distance.
We both froze.
“WHY IS THERE NOBODY IN THE LIVING ROOM? IS THE STORM CABIN HAUNTED?”
It was Claire.
Then came Jack’s voice. Then Nikolai. Then Sofia’s very loud, very dramatic gasp.
“Do you think they froze to death?” Nikolai yelled.
“I’ll check the rooms,” Jack grumbled. “Amanda’s room is empty only her bag is here. But Alex seems to have slept in his room. Wait, where did Amanda sleep then?”
“Wait-” Nikolai’s voice cut in. “I heard the jacuzzi’s still bubbling.”
Silence.
“OH. MY. GOD.”
“Don’t look!! don’t LOOK!”
“Too late!”
“Are they naked?!”
“ALEX.”
“WHY.”
“AMANDA.”
“WE JUST GOT HERE.”
Alex groaned. He hugged me, trying to cover my body with his back.
“Can we pretend they’re not real?” he whispered.
“They’re literally standing ten feet away.”
***
Eventually, we had to get out. Wrapped in oversized bathrobes, we shuffled into the kitchen where everyone was already gathered, snacks out, luggage dropped, eyes wide. Jack narrowed his eyes at me like I just committed a war crime.
“So... you two?” he asked, crossing his arms.
Before I could speak, Alex just grinned and threw an arm around my shoulder.
“What’s wrong with taking a bath with your girlfriend?”
The room went silent. My brain froze.
Girlfriend?
Did he... actually say that?
When the others started loudly pretending to unpack, giving us not-so-subtle side-eyes, I pulled Alex aside into the hallway.
“So... that’s what we are now?” I asked, quietly.
He looked at me like I’d asked if the sky was blue.
“I thought we already were,” he said, smiling. “I mean.... if that wasn’t obvious from last night, I can kiss you again to make it clearer.”
My face burned. But I laughed.
“You’re annoying.”
“And you’re mine now,” he said, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. And just like that, I kissed him first.
Because if this was a dream? Well, at least let me stay here forever, because I still couldn't believe it, but I guess the universe always has something to surprise you, haha. I'm so happy.