Chapter Text
July 2024
Between Salt Lake City, Utah and Jackson, Wyoming
“So do I detect a taste pattern in the Millers?” Ellie asked, thinking of Maria, and of Sarah’s multiracial looks in the photo she’d stolen from Tommy kept safe for Joel. “Y’all dig African American chicks?” She asked, in her best (but still god-awful) gruff Texan twang.
“Not just those 'chicks',” Joel answered. “Which I think you can put two and two together about in my case.”
Ellie nodded. I knew you and Tess were doing it! Her mature decision to refrain from triumphantly yelling that out was wasted. It was clear from Joel’s answering eyeroll that he knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Don’t know if either of us has a type. But we’ve both surely seen the appeal of some ladies answerin’ that description over the years.”
“Me too,” Ellie whispered inside her head. Or so she thought.
“That right?” Joel asked gently. I knew it. The way she talks about Riley.
A deep exhale found its way out of Ellie. Did I say that out loud?
“I loved Riley,” said Ellie. If she’d been willing to look at Joel, she would have seen him simply keeping his eyes on her. “I mean, she was my best friend. But I was… into her. She was black."
“I know she was. You showed me that picture,” Joel answered. “And if you’re tellin’ me what I think you’re tellin’ me, Riley sounds like a hell of a girlfriend.”
“Thanks for not being a bigger asshole than normal about it, Joel.”
“Well, thanks trustin’ me with that,” said Joel. “I know tellin’ people that can be scary. And I know for a fact you don’t need to worry about Tommy, either. And Maria’s probably fine. Tommy wouldn’t marry someone who wasn’t.”
“That tracks with Tommy from what I saw,” said Ellie. “Plus, he seemed pretty sad about Bill and Frank.” Joel nodded.
“It’s better now than when we were growin’ up,” Joel suggested. “Most folks have other things to worry about. Maybe they lost their faith in God, which was the main excuse. At least a God that gives a shit about things like that.”
“Did you care? Before?” asked Ellie. She hastily added, “It’s OK if you did. I’ve heard people can get a clue and gain wisdom in their old age.”
“Know what? Nope. At least not after I gave it any thought. Which was maybe around your age, or a little younger. Around the time all the kids started thinkin' about who they liked."
"So, before that you cared?"
"I dunno, more like I didn't even have an opinion," He paused. "I might have automatically bought that it was wrong till I thought about it, the way kids automatically believe things they're told."
"And your parents thought it was wrong?"
"They never said anything like that,” said Joel. “Maybe because we weren’t real serious about church. They said everyone should mind their own business, but be careful about what you tell people, because you could get fired for just supportin' gay people."
"That's not too bad."
"That was more when we were kids. Tommy and I both knew people growin’ up. Open secret type stuff, mostly. We didn't care. By the time the Outbreak happened, we were in 30s. We flat-out didn't care, and things were getting better."
"How so?" Ellie asked.
"It got more and more common to know gay people. I mean, to know they were gay. Celebrities, even. More people started to think the discrimination wasn't fair."
"Especially the military. Tommy had friends in the Army, where it literally had to be a secret.”
“That blows. How did that even work?” Ellie demanded.
“Ask him when we get back,” Joel said, not remembering the details. “I do know Bill would've been kicked out if they found out. Batshit insane, right, Kiddo?"
“Seriously fucked up.”
Bill and Frank had both served during the Vietnam era, Bill as a combat engineer and Frank as a medic. Joel still had no idea how Bill had pulled it off, knowing what he was like after the Outbreak.
“I’m not sure I’m any role model for... enlightenment,” Joel continued. “But discrimination? Not too many people in Texas had a problem with my mixed heritage and Tommy’s. A few. But some sure had a problem with Sarah’s.”
“I’m sorry, Joel. That’s even more seriously fucked up,” Ellie said.
“That it was, and thank you, but it’s all part of the same thing,” said Joel. “In my parents' time, mixed marriage was illegal in some states.” Which, except for Sarah, would have been the right move in our case. He quickly added, though Ellie understood that his ex-wife was still a difficult topic, “If Sarah was born a little over 20 years earlier, she’d be a bastard in certain states, even with her parents married somewhere it was legal.”
“I’m literally running out of ways to say that shit is fucked.”
“I ran out long ago,” said Joel.
“So if I ever had time for any rules about who you can love, who you can marry, what you can do behind closed doors, that was over when she came along. I’m sorry if I made you worry how I’d react.”
“This is the part where I confess that you didn’t make me scared but I was chicken anyway.”
“How about a thing where I bet you’ve figured this out, but let’s put it on the record: All I give a shit about is that you’re happy and get treated right. To the extent my mind every went there about either of you, that’s all I ever wanted for my girls.”
“You have my permission to keep your delicate senior mind sheltered.”
“This is where I embarrass you by promising that I got your back, like always, but I will do everything in my power to avoid thinking about you and any closed door. And promise to never discuss such things unless absolutely necessary.”
“Yes, please. Ew!”
“Not because you like girls. Just because you’re my girl.”
I didn’t get to see you as an actual little girl. This will not shield you from being my little girl in this way.
“I can live with that, Old Man.”
~*~
“Embarrassing old man question time,” Joel announced. “Is it just girls for you, so far? Only reason I’m askin’ is to figure out our closed door and sleepover policies.” Joel chose a moment when Ellie was driving the Durango, so she couldn’t hit him.
“Just girls,” said Ellie, “All my life, so it’s not like that shit in Colorado ruined me for dudes, or anything. I could never imagine being into dick. No offense.”
“None taken. I'm happy pretendin' you're never into anything,” said Joel. “And uh, me neither. Doesn’t bother me none, the concept. But zero interest, ever. And (brace yourself) I've gotten asked, on occasion. By likable enough guys." That last bit he hastily added to assure Ellie that these opportunities had nothing to do with the couple of narrow escapes from potential assaults he'd very briefly mentioned. "I think the verdict's in at my age."
“Pretty much set in stone. Fossilized. Like you, you old fucker,” said Ellie. “Although, not a fucker of dudes."
“Keep that up, Ma’am, and I’m gonna act as your wingman when we get back to Jackson.”