Chapter Text
James is having a great summer. He is.
His friend’s family - the Scamandar twins with their Dad and their Mum, Luna - came over for a week near the start, and they had an amazing time. Even when they left, he still has his cousin Rose and is three other siblings to play two - aside Quidditch with.
James is having a great summer.
So why does he feel like this?
Like is insides are churning constantly, a hurricane of thoughts and emotions and confounding feelings rushing around his brain. He thought he knew everything about himself, but now? He doesn’t know. Feels like he has been missing something this whole time.
There’s only one conclusion he can come to, that he’s sure about, one hundred percent. He likes Sage. But. Sage isn’t a girl. Sometimes they feel more feminine than other times, but they’re not a girl. And so the confusing cycle begins again.
Albus came out to him as gay last week. He knows about this stuff, right? James should go ask him about it. Yeah, that would work. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ask him.
Yeah.
James honestly does not recall walking to Albus’s room, just that now he’s in front of it, and knocking on the door. “Come in.” Comes the muffled voice of his younger brother from inside.
James does, jumping on Albus’s bed, startling his brother from his book. Albus gives him a frown,” What’s up?”
“I… kinda need to talk to you about something.” He blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck.
Albus puts his book down now, giving James his full attention. If James was being honest, it’s kinda scary, but he’s not, so.
“Okay well, um. Godric I don’t know how to say this. Right. Uh, I… have a crush on Sage. But like, Sage is not a girl. But sometimes they’re more feminine, sometimes more masculine, sometimes neither, but they still use all pronouns, and I… don’t mind that? I mean, like. I like them regardless. Yeah. Help?”
Albus chuckles, shaking his head. He looks his older brother in the eye, and says,”Well, James. Looks like you’re really having a proper full-on gay crisis.”
James groans, throwing himself dramatically onto the pillows. “Yeah. I know.”
“Okay, so… it sounds to me like you are attracted to multiple genders. It’s not just gay and straight. There’s like, bi, pan, omni, exetera. Have you liked someone that wasn’t a girl before?” Albus gives James an emphatic look.
“Yeah, I… I think so? But I’m gonna need you to explain to me all those things you listed off. I know bi but… I’m not exactly that adverse to this.”
Albus smiles softly, looking down at his older brother, who is currently frowning at the ceiling,”You don’t have to find a label, you know. Lots of people just don’t label themselves and are simply attracted to whoever they’re attracted to.”
“Yeah but,” James sighs, frowning again, trying to find the words,”I think it’ll help me understand. I’m so used to just knowing who I am that I think a label for /this/ will be helpful.
Albus just nods in understanding.
They talk a little more, now both sitting up crosses legged on the bed.
“So,” Albus says,”From what you’ve told me, I think bi would fit you? But that’s just my opinion and you totally don’t have to go with it.”
James chuckles,”And from what you’ve explained to me, I think bi is right too. Thanks for letting me come to you about this, Al.”
Albus groans,”Aw stop getting all mushy on me J, it’s gross.”
“Oi!” James says in mock-offense, hitting his brother with a pillow.
This, of course, starts a full-on pillow fight, and it’s just when James has Albus dangling upside-down off the edge of the bed, pillow raised, that the door swings open, their sister Lily telling them that dinner is ready.
Albus thinks he can hear her muttering down the hall, something like ‘Ugh men.’
Dinner is quiet, as Harry cooked, and he’s a bloody good chef.
“So,” their Aunt Hermione says, swallowing her sip of wine,”Anyone got any news?”
“Yeah, actually.” Albus pipes up from across the table, everyone looking at him in surprise, as he’s usually quiet in group settings. James gives him an encouraging and knowing smile.
“Ugh, okay. I’ve been wanting to say this for a while-“
“I knew it!” Uncle Ron interjects,”You’re pregnant!”
People chuckle at this, Hermione giving him a deadly look while clutching her fork - a truly terrifying sight. That shuts him up.
“Ha. No, I’m uh. I’m gay.”
There’s silence. Albus’s heart is beating so loudly in his head. Until a shriek comes up from the other end of the table. Everyone looks up to find Rose, out of her seat, jumping and running up to Albus, still screaming, then hugging him. Albus looks a little flabbergasted, not quite understanding, until she finally takes a breath and says,” Thank Godric I’m not the only one.”
Hermione chokes on her wine,”Not the only one? Honey? What do you mean?”
Rose turns to her Mother, hands on hips, and says very matter-of-factly,”I’m a lesbian, Mum.”
“Oh thank fuck for that.” Ron says, then immediately slapping a hand over his mouth just as Ginny yells,”LANGUAGE.”
Everyone starts laughing, Albus too, feeling a ridiculous amount of relief.
Amongst all the laughing, James’s voice is heard,”So um…,” The laughing quiets,”I guess this is a good time to tell you guys that I’m bi?”
Everyone grins, then there’s a chorus of ‘same’ from Hermione, Harry, and Teddy.
Albus gapes,”So I guess there really was nothing to be scared of then?”
Everyone just grins and goes back to eating.
Not everyone is having such a great summer however.
Sage’s grandparents are over. They keep saying and asking things that make Sage really uncomfortable, and their parents are too scared to say anything. Honestly, so is Sage. They love their Grandparents, and wishes they would stop saying the things they are, but doesn’t want to offend them either. So they just stay silent.
Emma, Sage’s eleven year old sister, does not seem to give a single shit, however. So, the next time their Grandma tells Sage that they would look great in a dress, and maybe they should just at least try to look feminine, and that looking this masculine just isn’t natural, and they should learn to control those abilities of theirs, Emma snaps.
They’re at the dinner table, Sage having already had a bad day, and on the verge of tears, their hair grey, a sign Sage is just… curling in on themselves. Emma sees this and frankly, is not having it. “You know what, Grandma? Shut up. No. Shut. Up. You do not get to judge and to tell my sibling what they can or cannot do, who they can or cannot be, or what they can or cannot wear. Sage is their own person, and you do not own them. And if you can’t love them for who they want to be, who they are already, for the lovely person they are underneath, you’re not doing a very good job at being a grandparent. Neither are you, Grandad. So. Shut up. And let us enjoy our pasta.”
“Well, Emma. I must say, I do not appreciate your tone. It is not at all an acceptable way to speak to me or your Grandmother. I would like you to apologise immediately.” Their Granddad says, looking at Emma with a steely glare.
“No. I will not apologise. Not for this. Or… /this/.” And with that, she knocks over her Grandmother’s red wine glass, spilling it all over her. Their Grandma elicits a screech, then says to her husband sharply,”Come on, Gerald. We are leaving.”
As soon as they hear the front door slam, Sage wraps their arms around their little sister, thanking her profusely,”God, Em. Thank you. That was bloody brilliant you know?”
Emma laughs,”Yeah, I know.”
Seren is having a terrible summer.
Pansy has started to bitch about the lycanthropy, and still refusing to tell Seren who her Father is, even when Seren asked her to her face. Pansy says that he doesn’t want anything to do with them, that it would hurt her more if she found him because he still wouldn’t want to be a pet of her life.
Seren thinks this is all bullshit. They believe that her Mother just never told him she was his, but then again, Seren doesn’t know that she’s dead right. They know she needs to find a diary, a journal, something like that of Pansy’s in order to really find the truth, but unfortunately Pansy keeps her room under tight locking and protection charms, so much so that even Seren’s wolf magic cannot get through.
This is making life pretty miserable, made even worse by how Pansy’s been acting towards her about her lycanthropy. ‘Your scars are too noticeable.’
‘You can’t wear that, what would people think?’
‘Think about your reputation, Ren. Going out like that would only make it worse for both of us.’
‘No. Change.’
Because of this, the overbearing nature in which Pansy is trying to control her daughter, it makes the moons worse. Not only does Seren feel claustrophobic, so does the wolf.
And soon enough, she has her worst moon yet. Thankfully, Pansy gets there as soon as Seren is back in human form, and is able to save her daughter’s face, in the way that there is no chucks missing from it. There are, however, two long, think scars that run from just below Seren’s right eye, over her cheek and jaw to just above her jugular. Seren could have been blinded. Could have had no right cheek. It could have been fatal. But it wasn’t. Because Pansy was there. At least she shows she still cares, in her own quiet way.
Seren has been vague in her letters when her friends ask her how she is. She doesn’t know what to say, how they’ll react to the scars on her face, how she can’t hide them anymore.
She’s a monster. She hates herself. How she hurts herself, how she could hurt the ones she cares about. She’s a monster. And the monster only keeps getting stronger.