Chapter Text
Buck was no stranger to hospitals. In fact, in the last ten years, he had begun to lose count of how many times he woke up in a fluorescently lit bed or ran through waiting room doors to check on a loved one.
This time was different.
This time, before even opening his eyes, the moment he heard the beeping of the hospital monitor, the memory of the past day flooded over him. The car crash, the collapse, Eddie fixing his arm, the kiss, the beam falling, wait- The kiss.
“Eddie!” Buck yelled, shooting up from the hospital bed, startling Maddie and Bobby, who were sitting at his side. Buck felt Bobby's firm hand on his good shoulder, and a twinge of pain shot through his wound.
“Breathe Buck.” Bobby said calmly, his steadying touch slowly moving Buck back into a lying position. “Eddie is ok, he is in the next room resting.” Bobby’s words relieved the fear in Buck’s mind, but his heart continued to pound in his ears; logic did not calm his need to see Eddie alive for himself.
“I need-” Buck croaked, his voice still feeling the effects of the dusty air. Maddie held up the large styrofoam hospital pitcher, bringing it to him so he could drink. The water soothed him, and he began to speak again. “I need to see him.” Buck said, letting his head fall back onto the pillow, exhausted by that small effort.
“What you need is rest.” An unfamiliar voice said from across the room. And as much as Buck wanted to argue, his eyes were heavy, forcing him back into the lull of sleep.
***
The next time Buck awoke, his mind was clearer. The room was dark now, the buzz from the fluorescent bulbs silent. The small window on the far end of the room let in a slight halo of light around the curtain, too dark to be anything but the streetlights and traffic. The visitors' chairs were pulled up to the bed, but empty; visitors' hours were over.
Buck stared at the discolored ceiling tiles, replaying Eddie's words from before the cave collapsed around them.
‘I love you, Evan Buckly. I always have, and I think I always will.’
He remembered the surprisingly soft feeling of Eddie’s lips on his; the way that his heart fluttered when Eddie moved closer to him. The beep of the heart rate monitor hastened, and Buck flushed, as if the monitor was judging him.
In the last 24 hours, he had been buried alive, confessed to, and kissed the man that he had been pining over for years, and now there was nothing to do but wait.
***
“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Buckly, but we have your discharge papers.” A young-looking nurse said, waking Buck for the third time. The room was brighter now; the lights were still off, but a stream of sunlight shone through the window; it was morning.
Buck shifted, pushing himself up and hanging his legs off the bed.
“Can I see Eddie?” Buck asked, steadying himself on the rail of the hospital bed as he stood up.
“Who’s Eddie?” The nurse asked, and Buck stopped for a moment.
“He’s-” Buck started, but realised that he didn't know what they were to each other anymore. If someone had asked him yesterday, Buck would have said ‘best friend’, but now, though the confusion of the last day, that title felt wrong.
“He’s my partner.” Buck landed on, smiling down at his feet when the nurse gave him a knowing nod. “He is in room 48, I think,” Buck said, pointing to the wall of his room that he was told shared a wall with Eddie’s.
The nurse flipped through her charts for a moment before giving Buck a small smile. “It says here he was discharged half an hour ago,” She said, and Buck relaxed, grabbing the stack of papers from the girl and signing them with his good arm.
“You ready to go Buckly?” A voice called from the door. Buck turned, a grin plastered on his face. Eddie looked better than Buck felt, completely unscathed, other than a bandage on his forehead. Buck stood, handing the papers to the nurse and walking over to Eddie. “I called an uber to take us home.” Eddie said, his eyes taking inventory of Buck’s injuries before leading him out of the hospital room.
“Your place?” Buck asked, hoping that Eddie couldn't hear the hopefulness in his voice.
“Obviously,” Eddie replied with a laugh, We need to help Chris with his science, remember?”
Buck grinned, knowing that Eddie was only half joking about that. As they stepped into the back of their Uber, Buck’s hand brushed Eddie’s. It was brief, but as they sat in their seats, Buck’s mind started reeling.
‘Do we need to talk about what happened?’ Buck thought, ringing his hands in his lap with an awkward chuckle as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot. ‘Obviously, Eddie just wants to wait until we are alone, right?” Buck thought back to what had been said in that cavern, and what had not been said. He never got the chance to say ‘I love you’ back, and all he wanted to do was tell Eddie that he wasn't alone in how much he loved him. As they pulled into Eddie’s driveway, Buck took a steadying breath. Just a few more minutes, and he could tell Eddie all that he had been holding in.
“You ok?” Eddie asked, concern filling his dark brown eyes. Buck nodded and shot him a small smile.
“I just really want to talk to you,” Buck said, his smile growing a bit bigger. Eddie gave him an indecipherable look as they climbed out of the Uber.
Buck watched as Eddie turned the key in his house. Buck had been there more times than he could count, but this felt different. Something shifted in that cavern, even if it took almost dying to realise it; they loved each other.
“Dad! Buck!” Chris’s voice called out as the door swung open, followed by the click of his crutches on the hardwood floor.
Talking would have to wait.
Moments after stepping through the door, they were all enveloped in a Diaz-Buckley family hug.
“Im so glad you were ok,” Chris said into Eddie's shoulder. Chris was getting older now and had an unfortunately good understanding of the dangers of his father’s job. Buck wished more than anything that Chris could be spared from the effects of their job, but his solemn acceptance of the dangers was just a side effect of their lives.
“We will always come home to you Chris,” Eddie said, locking eyes with Buck over Chris’s head. Buck thought about all of the times that they almost didn’t make it home. The well. The sniper. The lightning. They all knew that promise wasn’t theirs to make, but it was comforting nonetheless.
Chris pulled back from Eddie’s arms. “I hate to ask but-”
“You need help with your science project?” Eddie and Buck asked simultaneously. Chris nodded with a sheepish smile.
***
The night was filled with joyful working and silent glances. Buck sat beside Eddie, close enough to feel his leg pressed against him, as he held two orange-painted styrofoam bowls together as the glue dried between his good hand and his chin.
“Careful with Venus, that’s the last one,” Chris said, looking over at Buck’s precarious situation. Buck moved to look at Chris, and the bowls shifted apart, one falling to the ground.
“Shi- Shoot!” Buck corrected after a glare from Eddie. Chris groaned in that overdramatic preteen way.
“I'm not a baby, I can hear swear words,” Chris said, picking up the half of Venus that was on the ground and sticking it back to its other half. Eddie shot a look at Chris, and Buck could barely contain his laughter.
“Well, even 12-year-olds need a good night's sleep, so its time to go to bed.” Eddie said, lifting the space sculpture that they had created. It was definitely not A+ material, but after the day that they had, it was good enough. “Go get changed, and I will be over to tuck you in.” Eddie said, sitting back down on the couch, closer to Buck than was completely necessary.
The room was silent for a moment, both men sitting in the stress of the day. Buck could hear Eddie breathing, and for a moment, he thought that he could hear Eddie’s heartbeat too.
“I'm gonna go tuck him in.” Eddie said after a moment, standing up from the couch slower than usual, the impact of the day they had had.
“After…” Buck heasetated, “Can we talk?” Eddie smiled at him and nodded, walking towards Chris’s room. The moment the door shut, Buck’s heart started to race. Eddie Diaz loved him, and Buck loved Eddie back. This would be their lives from now on. Helping Chris, putting him to bed, sitting on the couch together, mindlessly living the lives they thought they might never find. This was the moment he didn't know he was waiting for.
Chris’s door creaked open, and Buck’s gaze shot up. Eddie shut the door, placing his hand on the doorframe to dampen the sound of the latch clicking closed.
“You want a beer?” Eddie asked quietly, walking toward the kitchen.
“Sure,” Buck said, shifting nervously. Buck smiled at the ground as he heard the sound of the fridge door open and Eddie’s footsteps approaching.
The couch shifted as Eddie sat, handing Buck a cold glass bottle. It felt natural, domestic even.
“You wanted to talk?” Eddie asked, leaning back into the couch and looking at Buck.
Buck nodded, trying to form the words in his head. “I wanted to talk about what happened down there,” Buck said quietly, his gaze fixed on the ground as he spoke. It didn't cross his mind until this moment that everything Eddie said was because they were about to die. What if he didn't really mean it? What if Eddie just saw how in love Buck was with him and was trying to calm him down, what if-
“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, snapping Buck out of his spiral. Buck was stunned for a moment, desperately looking for humor on Eddie’s face but only finding a look of confusion. “Did you want to talk about being crushed by a parking garage, because that feels pretty self-explanatory.” Eddie said, a smile on his face that didn't quite cover up the thinly veiled concern in his eyes.
Buck’s face fell.
“Eddie-” He tried, piecing together Eddie's reaction. “Do you not…remember?” The confused look on Eddie’s face told Buck all he needed to know. It took everything in Buck’s power not to crumple into a devastated heap.
“Remember what?” Eddie asked, and Buck just stared through him.