Chapter Text
My Beloved Wallace.
First of all, I’m dying. When you arrive, I’ll likely be dead. I don’t have much time, so I’m writing this to you as fast as I can.
When we first met in Sootopolis, my first thought was that you looked like a mermaid. You had the most beautiful turquoise hair and eyes, and I decided there and then that I was going to marry you. A ridiculous notion, I suppose. I was 10, and I was quite foolish. I’ve known you for eight years now. We haven’t spoken since I ran away three years ago to become the Champion of Hoenn. Now, as I bleed out in a hotel room, I find myself thinking of you. When you became the gym leader of Sootopolis City, I was so proud of you. But I couldn’t get past that last time I saw you. I noticed that you still use Elizabeth. I hope she’s doing well.
Today, an ex-classmate of mine attacked me in Victory Road. My Pokemon were weary from a day of training, and the man targeted me, not them. I vaguely remember him laughing, slinging slurs at me. Though I’ve been attacked many times, being trans and openly gay, I never feared that I would die. I stumbled here in a daze, but I managed to hide my wounds pretty well. I tried to call Nurse Joy, but she’s out in Victory Road right now, so I sit in this room, trying to stop the bleeding. I could’ve called for an employee, I suppose. I wish I’d have thought of that when I still had the strength to stand up and reach the room service phone.
I suppose I should tell you why I’m writing this. As you know, I’m in love with you. I always have been. The fact that you accepted Elizabeth and didn’t return her to me is an indication that you still want to be friends. So, I suppose I should tell you how I fell.
Your first contest in Slateport City was a joy to behold. Your water illusions entranced me. Feebas was amazing, but I couldn’t tear my eyes off you. Your costume shimmered and sparkled in the light, reflecting off the water like a rainbow. But it was the shine in your eyes that caught my attention. You were so passionate, and I was taken by how much you seemed to be enjoying it.
In Verdanturf, I watched Milotic’s evolution in awe. But then I saw the unfiltered joy on your face, and suddenly, even her elegance couldn’t avert my gaze. You were radiant. You had such a shine, such passion that you stole the show and my heart. It was a short while later, when we were hanging out together, that you captured my heart.
That day is burned into my mind, and I find myself thinking back to it. We walked all the way to Mauville City and had a picnic on the beach. You taught me how to dance, and I rambled about the crystals we found in the rocks. Juan and Dad eventually found us through my phone, and they saw us smiling and laughing… And later that night, Dad asked me if I was gay. I realised I was.
Initially, I panicked. When I saw you with Winona in Fortree, it hurt a lot more than I expected. I couldn’t bring myself to watch you in person over in Lilycove. I visited my mother in Mount Pyre, of course, but I stayed longer than necessary because I heard you invited Winona. I was jealous. And then I heard about Elizabeth. I really looked up to her. She was an immensely brave trans woman. I was appalled at her murder, and for a long time after, I feared being out of the closet. (The irony that I am now dying similarly is not lost on me.)
I decided that I would have to become the Champion, so no one would ever be killed the way she was. (Again, the irony…) I destroyed Mossdeep Gym, consumed with grief. And then I battled you. It was painful and wonderful simultaneously. It was the most joy I ever felt in a Pokemon battle. You and I, battling it out with only a trivial badge on the line. So when I kissed you afterwards… I was caught up in the moment. I was so terrified that you’d hate me… I left in the dead of night for the Pokemon League and swept them all the next morning, trying to distract myself.
So, I suppose that brought me here. Three years later. Bleeding out in a hotel room, how pathetic. Skarmory should be reaching you about now. I told him to be as fast as he could. I can’t help wishing Elizabeth were here, since she can learn Heal Pulse. Well, even though so much has changed, there are four things I’ve been storing in my heart to say to you.
I’m so proud of you for the formation of the Wallace Cup. I always watch it, even if I don’t attend. You’re glorious, Wallace. You deserve the rank of Master Coordinator.
You have the most beautiful smile. It lights up everything around you. It’s infectious. Whenever I see you smile, I find myself smiling too.
There’s an emerald in my shirt pocket. I’ve been carrying it around ever since I found it. It reminds me of your eyes. I’d like you to have it. If we ever got married, I intended to embed it in your engagement ring.
I love you. I have loved you, I do love you, and I will love you. If there’s an afterlife, I’ll love you there, but if there’s not, I’ll love you until my final moments.
I’m not great at communication, but I’ve been trying to express my feelings more. Right now, I feel a strange sense of peace. Phoebe just messaged me. She knows something’s wrong. She can probably sense me dying. I’m going to close my eyes now. I hope you can forgive me, Wallace.
Yours forever,
Steven.