Chapter Text
Sunday morning found all of the older foxes at the dining hall. At first it had been unusual for Andrew to join their team meals, but this was the girls’ last year and Neil wanted to spend as much time with his family as possible. As long as the freshmen were not around, Andrew would tag along with Neil and sit stoically beside him.
They had been sitting quietly for a long time, most of them nursing a hangover and looking worse for wear. Andrew and Aaron had their arms crossed and looked anywhere but each other. Allison noticed, nudging Dan and motioning towards them. They both snickered.
Nicky—unsurprisingly—broke the silence. “Sooooo, last night was illuminating.”
Aaron groaned, hiding his face in his hands, “yeah can we like never talk about this please.”
Allison hummed thoughtfully. “Which part exactly? The part where Neil and your brother played tonsil hockey for the whole world to see?”
Neil rolled his eyes. “Hockey? Really?” Everyone—including Andrew—sent him a ‘that’s the part you are fixating on?’ look.
Allison raised an eyebrow and continued torturing Aaron. “Ooor the part where everyone found out that your girlfriend thinks its super hot seeing your twin make out with men.”
Aaron glared at the blonde but his ears were tinged pink. Silence stretched out as Allison smirked at the shorter boy. The energy at the table was electric; Neil could feel it buzzing in the air. He was worried what would happen if the situation was not diffused. He remembered too well what happened the last time Allison and Aaron had fought. He glanced at Andrew out of his peripheral vision but the man had not moved, seemingly uninterested with the current situation.
Renee—ever the peacekeeper—spoke quietly. “I am sure she did not mean to upset you Aaron. Some women are attracted to the idea of two men together. Its what makes slash fiction so popular.”
The majority of the faces turned to Renee were blank and uncomprehending. Allison and Nicky were the only ones that looked contemplative. Renee shrugged.
“Besides Aaron if you think about it Neil thinks you’re hot too.” Nicky taunted. Chuckling gleefully when Aaron groaned.
Neil had been sipping on his coffee but choked at that. He was blushing, his eyes cast down. “I really--.”
Dan, Matt, and Allison were laughing uproariously. Even Kevin was hiding a smirk ineffectively.
“I don’t think he does actually.” Renee spoke quietly but every fox still heard her and stopped what they were doing. There was a brief moment of silence before Nicky said, “Uuuuh, Renee?”
All eyes were on the goalkeeper; even Andrew seemed drawn out of his usual air of apathy to stare at her with one eyebrow raised. Neil stared at her with baited breath and wide eyes. He had never been able to explain it, even to himself, but Renee had a way of seeing through people.
Renee was looking to him, ignoring the many eyes on her, silently asking permission to continue. Neil nodded dumbly, apprehensive but curious.
“I don’t think Neil lied when he told us he doesn’t swing.” Nicky, Allison, Dan, and Matt looked bewildered but they stayed quiet. Aaron was still recovering from Nicky’s comment and Kevin seemed vaguely interested (this was a long time for him to go without talking about Exy, Neil thought). Andrew hadn’t moved. He was still listening intently to Renee. “I don’t think Neil is attracted to men or women. I think he’s just attracted to Andrew.”
Andrew’s reaction was nearly imperceptible. A slight twitch that only Neil and Renee could recognize. The others frowned.
“Even so Andrew and Aaron look the same so if he’s got the hots for one…” Nicky trailed off at the stony looks the twins turned on him.
“No I don’t think so. Neil, correct me if I’m wrong or out of line, but I think you are—“ she paused looking to Neil. He nodded, wanting her to continue. “The word for it is demisexual.”
Matt snorted, “Is that a short joke? Renee I didn’t think you had it in you.”
The twins turned their stony look on Matt. “Yeesh you guys are extra creepy in stereo.”
Renee laughed softly at Matt’s antics but composed herself before looking back to Neil. “Have you heard of it?”
He shook his head. Andrew was watching him now, look impassive. Even as Renee spoke Andrew never turned away from Neil, too intent on watching his face to pay Renee his usual courtesy.
“It’s a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people whom they have a strong emotional bond. It essentially means you are attracted to Andrew for who he is and what he means to you. It doesn’t matter that Aaron is physically identical.” She smiled shyly at him. “Does that sound right to you?”
Neil could feel Andrew’s intense gaze as well as all the other foxes’ eyes. His own must have been wide. It was like a missing puzzle piece in his braining causing everything to snap together and now he could see the whole picture. He turned so he was facing Andrew as he answered Renee’s question. “Yes.”
After what Neil felt was an indeterminable length of silence Allison snorted. “Shit so Aaron’s girlfriend is hot for Andrew but Neil is the only person on the planet that can be completely unattracted to a carbon copy of his own boyfriend.” She dissolved into a giggling fit with Dan and Matt close behind her. Nicky was shaking from the effort of trying not to laugh. Even Kevin looked amused.
Aaron seemed—for all intents and purposes—to be pouting. “Fuck you Reynolds.”
Andrew was still watching his face but Neil turned back to Renee. “Thank you.”
“No need. If you want I can send you some links online so you can learn a little bit more about it.”
“Yeah.” Neil nodded. “Yeah that would be great.”
She smiled—if Neil hadn’t known her so well he would have said she looked shy. “I think it’s a bit romantic you know. It’s a very noble way to love.” She said it quietly enough that Neil felt like only he and Andrew could have heard it. He blushed but didn’t look away from both pairs of eyes on him.
Aaron and Allison were still bickering and Aaron was becoming irate. “You want to take this outside princess?”
Allison smirked, lifting a perfectly manicured finger to her chin. “Hey Andrew. Now that your deal is off can I hit your brother?”
Andrew smirked without averting his glance from Neil’s burning face. “Just don’t maim or kill him,” he said slowly, “he makes a decent alibi.”
Aaron sputtered. “Andrew!”
Neil had been smiling but when Andrew chuckled a huge grin spread across his face. Soon all the foxes were laughing—except Aaron who stormed off grumbling under his breathe.
Epilogue
‘I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it… The only one I'm interested in is you.’ Andrew remembered the words but it felt like another lifetime. Probably because Neil had managed to get himself into a lifetime worth of trouble in a few short months, he thought ruefully.
They were back in their dorm. Kevin had gone to the library so they were all alone. The cousins had gone with the other upperclassman to the movies so there would be no interruptions.
Neil had been quiet since the conversation at the dining hall. Andrew had seen the texts Renee had sent him, worried she’d overstepped his boundaries.
R. Walker: I am sorry. I should have spoken to you first.
N. Josten: dont be I am glad they know
N. Josten: and thank you
R. Walker: for what?
N. Josten: understanding me bettr than I do my self
When Andrew couldn’t stand the silence anymore he placed his hand on the back of Neil’s neck so that he would turn to face him. “You told me once that I was the only person you were interested in.” Neil met his level gaze, unmoving. “It was true.” It wasn’t a question but Andrew still searched Neil’s face, waiting for an answer.
Neil didn’t miss a beat. “It still is.”
‘… feels sexual attraction only to people whom they have a strong emotional bond…’
Neil must have seen the darkening in Andrew’s eyes because he breathed out the word “yes” before Andrew could open his mouth to ask.
This kiss was like a collision. Like two trains careening into one another at full speed. Neil could do nothing but card fingers into blonde hair and hold on for dear life.
Neil thought what he always thought when Andrew kissed him; how could someone who claimed to want nothing kiss like this. Andrew kissed with more passion than he lived his life but that was an easy comparison. Andrew kissed like Neil was oxygen and he was drowning.
They pulled back, panting with their foreheads pressed together and Neil thought about how Andrew was a terrible liar. There was one thing he always wanted. Neil kissed him again and smiled against his mouth.
Andrew mumbled, “idiot,” but Neil just smiled wider and held on tighter and thought, ‘Always.’